Feedback on first Literotica story please?

Hi all,

I have just submitted to Literotica for the first time, and it was accepted.

https://www.literotica.com/s/no-other-way

Description: A slave is bought by someone she'd never expect.

Keywords: Semi-consent; non-consent; slavery; incest; whipping

This is not my first erotic story ever, but it is my first story here.

I would love to hear any feedback you may have. I am happy to start going around providing feedback to others but am sort of getting my bearings first as to the type and level of commentary to give, and developing a judgment as to how valuable my own comments would be, given that I am very new at this. So I'm holding off for the mo.

Because this involves non consent and slavery I'll pass on reading it, but I am eager to see what you score will be and what the comments will say.

Putting incest anywhere but incest is going to get you heat, but putting non con in incest will get you a beat down as well. I think you took the right path category wise I think the non con element may be enough to get some readers to get past the incest...

Interesting story choice. As I said non con is blah to me, but I applaud your effort in mixing two kinks that are fire and water on here

lovecraft68 said:

Interesting story choice. As I said non con is blah to me, but I applaud your effort in mixing two kinks that are fire and water on here

Click to expand...

Heh, uh oh, I was not aware of this issue tbh.

I did intentionally decide non-con was the sort of "trump" category here--I figure, basically, _any_ non-con story, no matter what else is in it, should go in the non-con category.

(It had been Avoid pronouns with no antecedents) Approximately one year had passed since her initial capture (she had not been allowed to keep track). Now Sarah was to be sold again. Her first master, having acquired (some) heavy debts, was forced to sell off his slaves. Sarah had no fondness for him, his wife or his children—they had certainly shown no kindness to her, as the marks on her body attested. But (at least with them) there had been a kind of certainty, even, over time, familiarity(. All of) that was gone now. (and) She was (now) back (at the spot) where her new life had begun.

At her initial capture she had fought. She now knew (this) struggle was futile. As she was led (up) to the auction block she did not protest. (and as) She felt the eyes taking in her nude (learn the difference between nude and naked) body, but did not attempt to hide. Indeed, she obediently,(one or the other) proactively took the correct posture: erect stance, (standing erect, her) breasts thrust out, arms behind her (back), (her) legs spread slightly.

Thanks, I like a lot of those suggestions. I always try to eliminate unnecessary words, but as you know, it often takes another pair of eyes. (My initial draft had _so many_ sentences starting with "as"...)

What's the difference between nude and naked?

naked means having no clothes, nude is a way of life. Ever hear of nakedism? Notice they don't call them 'naked' beaches. People don't say, "let's get nude". And no one ever tells the nude truth