Now I can finally retire

OldJourno · Oct 20, 2017

Found in my email earlier today:

This royalty payment notification is for Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) sales recorded in the US Kindle Store. Payment will be made to your bank account and should appear in your available balance within 2 to 5 business days after the Payment Date. Details of the payment will be available on the Payment Report (https://kdp.amazon.com/self-publishing/reports ) after it has been processed by your bank. If your KDP account is registered on the KDP Japan site, you can check your Payment report at https://kdp.amazon.co.jp/self-publishing/reports .

My excitement over this email news is tempered by the fact that,
!. I'm already retired;
2. I'm pretty sure book sales are just barely in double figures.

RobDownSouth · Oct 20, 2017

well hell, you and SR71PLT are gonna have to compare checks.

OldJourno · Oct 20, 2017

RobDownSouth said:
well hell, you and SR71PLT are gonna have to compare checks.

Yeah, but I bet SR doesn't have your Lit name in his book.

Que · Oct 20, 2017

RobDownSouth said:
well hell, you and SR71PLT are gonna have to compare dicks.

You asking to judge the competition?

jezzilee · Oct 20, 2017

I thought you were retiring from the GB.

OldJourno · Oct 20, 2017

jezzilee said:
I thought you were retiring from the GB.

And break your heart? Not a chance.

OldJourno · Oct 20, 2017

Rob's mention relates to a stripper's clothes iron landing squarely between the legs of our hero, who in real life is longtime Litster 4est Gump. I surveyed the Lit landscape when I wrote much of this, and 4est seemed the likeliest hero of the lot.
To the best of my knowledge, 4est's neighbor in the book, Les, is deceased in real life. Unless reports on Lit of his death are greatly exaggerated.

jezzilee · Oct 20, 2017

OldJourno said:
And break your heart? Not a chance.

Thank goodness... :heart:

OldJourno · Oct 21, 2017

jezzilee said:
Thank goodness...

I'm sorry I wrote this literary classic before I could include you as the heroine.
Phrodeau made it, however, with a cameo role as the Arizona attorney general. LT had a role as the principal of the high school.
Both die violently, so there is that.
There were a couple of Lit women who had key roles. For the life of me, I can't remember the name of one of them. RubyFruit was the other. There have been a lot of really funny people at Lit, but RubyFruit was No. 1.
She was a lot of fun to talk to on the phone, too, and now I understand she's gone. That's way too bad.
And I don't remember the name of the hero's sidekick, though at the time I thought he was the smartest guy here.
The book originated here in a thread, and no one made the connections between their lit personas and the characters in the book, mostly because the resemblances were tenuous at best.

Hypoxia · Oct 21, 2017

I retired from the job market around 1987, yeah, three decades back.

Y'all wage slaves can keep on with the sweat and other secretions.

Hey, here's another check from Publisher's Clearing House! Yay!

Misspent_Ute · Oct 21, 2017

OldJourno said:
Rob's mention relates to a stripper's clothes iron landing squarely between the legs of our hero, who in real life is longtime Litster 4est Gump. I surveyed the Lit landscape when I wrote much of this, and 4est seemed the likeliest hero of the lot.
To the best of my knowledge, 4est's neighbor in the book, Les, is deceased in real life. Unless reports on Lit of his death are greatly exaggerated.

I, for the life of me, cannot decipher this...

I am not a smart man.

jezzilee · Oct 21, 2017

OldJourno said:
I'm sorry I wrote this literary classic before I could include you as the heroine.
Phrodeau made it, however, with a cameo role as the Arizona attorney general. LT had a role as the principal of the high school.
Both die violently, so there is that.
There were a couple of Lit women who had key roles. For the life of me, I can't remember the name of one of them. RubyFruit was the other. There have been a lot of really funny people at Lit, but RubyFruit was No. 1.
She was a lot of fun to talk to on the phone, too, and now I understand she's gone. That's way too bad.
And I don't remember the name of the hero's sidekick, though at the time I thought he was the smartest guy here.
The book originated here in a thread, and no one made the connections between their lit personas and the characters in the book, mostly because the resemblances were tenuous at best.

Tenuous is always best to protect the identity of the unassuming.

OldJourno · Oct 21, 2017

jezzilee said:
Tenuous is always best to protect the identity of the unassuming.

I'm going to make you the No. 1 friendly space alien in the sequel.

jezzilee · Oct 21, 2017

O M G I have the perfect hat for that!!

Antryg_Windrose · Apr 21, 2018

jezzilee said:
Tenuous is always best to protect the identity of the unassuming.

Tetanus works as well

HisArpy · Apr 21, 2018

Antryg_Windrose said:
Tetanus works as well

Are you trying to bash Jezzie's hat?

For shame.

ThatsTheGuy · Apr 21, 2018

Looks like I'll be PMing the OP about the secret of his success. I'll be bearing gifts of course.

cowslinger64 · Apr 21, 2018

Anyone know how many replies to this thread are qbert alts?

I'm guessing two, maybe 3.

Rightguide · Apr 21, 2018

cowslinger64 said:
Anyone know how many replies to this thread are qbert alts?

I'm guessing two, maybe 3.

I'm guessing that little problem has completely overwhelmed the two or three brain cells you have left to ponder with.

cowslinger64 · Apr 21, 2018

Rightguide said:
I'm guessing that little problem has completely overwhelmed the two or three brain cells you have left to ponder with.

It warms my heart having you recognize my existence, vette. :kiss:

Thank you, my day is made.

Btw.. the only one that thinks you're smart is you... and maybe your boyfriend botanydummy. Limpdick love, it's so sweet. :heart:

HisArpy · Apr 22, 2018

cowslinger64 said:
It warms my heart having you recognize my existence, vette.

Thank you, my day is made.

Btw.. the only one that thinks you're smart is you... and maybe your boyfriend botanydummy. Limpdick love, it's so sweet.

Ba da dump.

*crickets*

You know, you really need to work on your style delivery and content if you want this crowd to laugh WITH you instead of at you. This is the worst and most pathetic you've been so far.

ThatsTheGuy · Apr 22, 2018

HisArpy said:
Ba da dump.

*crickets*

You know, you really need to work on your style delivery and content if you want this crowd to laugh WITH you instead of at you. This is the worst and most pathetic you've been so far.

Ya'll got me feeling all sappy now. *sniffle*

There's a 10 ft chihuahua demanding my attention. I should see to that before he rips me apart.

HisArpy · Apr 22, 2018

ThatsTheGuy said:
Ya'll got me feeling all sappy now. *sniffle*

There's a 10 ft chihuahua demanding my attention. I should see to that before he rips me apart.

My advice: RUN! Chihuahuas know zombies when they see 'em. And there's no stopping them once they get you in their sights. I've seen 'em chew through 3/4" solid steel plate to disassemble a zombie. (<-- true fact. Ok, almost true...it was alum foil and it was used to cover some pork riblets while they was BBQ-ing. And the zombie was on the TV the dam dog knocked over as it stole the foil. But, other than that...)

Hypoxia · Apr 22, 2018

Retirement activities:

713c047ec2aa30af9bcbc56611d9055d--senior-humor-senior-citizen-humor.jpg

Now I can finally retire

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