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Old 05-20-2015, 05:42 PM   #1501
DeepGreenEyes
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Thanks for the comments. In other words, good grief.

Your words make me feel better. Curious had a grieving thread up a few years ago; maybe it's time for a bump. One thing that helped me was getting off Facebook. Every time I get off Facebook I realize how much it drains, rather than fills me. I'm sure most people are different (after all, despite a lack of teens, FB still has a bazillion users).


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Originally Posted by Keroin View Post
DGE, there's nothing I can do but send you my wishes of strength and peace. You're such a light in the world. Do whatever you need to do to care for yourself but know that a whole community of people are out here for you. All the hugs are coming to you, my friend.
You are among my favorite kinky Canadian cupcake-loving SF writers.

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Originally Posted by gamegamale View Post
I've been though the treatments and surgeries twice and I consider myself lucky...compared to others. What pains me the most is knowing the stress it has caused my loved ones. They are my inspiration.

FYC.
You are just a good, good person. FYC.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scotluvsoral View Post
I understand that pain and the inspiration. My 4 girls and my wife never let me knew how terrified they were...just shared my positive feelings about successful surgery...until after the doctor shared they were certain they got all of the cancer. Then the emotions overcame them and they shared how they had shielded me from the fears. They were my rock!!!! FYC!!
This is inspiring. God, the emotions can be more complicated than the disease, can't they?
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Old 05-20-2015, 07:45 PM   #1502
redslady
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Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post
I could use a strong positive thought for my mom and dad, if you have one on the floor of the car or an old one that you're not using.

Things are going bad quickly, in such cruelly symbolic ways, and its crushing my dad.

And her death nearing, and his devastation are crushing me. The sadness is a sopping towel, and yet most of the time I feel nothing. Like I'm caressing someone through thick gloves.

A random vibe or a thought for them would be swell.

DGE, There really aren't words to help. Everyone grieves in their own fashion, there is no "true" way to grieve. Sometimes being in a bubble is the only way we can carry on. I've still got that shoulder should you need it, two of them in fact.

I posted this in FYC a while back and you were one of the loved ones I was thinking of at the time.

Sometimes we get tunnel vision; we forget the effect this cell fucker has on those who love us. Our mates, our family, our friends, they suffer for us and themselves. As we concentrate on the next step, the next treatment, the horrific side effects, we forget that they are there with us. We forget how powerless they feel, how they watch us change before their eyes. They see us become weaker, thinner; they watch us drift off in the middle of a conversation because we are so tired. They deal with the changes in us, the loss of hair, the loss of appetite, the vomiting, the mood swings, and too many others to mention; yet they act as if itís no big deal.

But Iíve been on their side of this battle, so I know it is a big deal.

The emotions our loved ones feel can be as devastating as the physical changes we go through. The helplessness, the frustration, the fear, and for some the steeling themselves for the inevitable. For when the battle is fought we donít always win.

For those of you who love us, thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for helping us keep a sense of normal. Thank you for standing beside us and helping us stand when we canít.

It would be so much harder without you with us.
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Old 05-21-2015, 10:47 AM   #1503
scotluvsoral
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redslady View Post
DGE, There really aren't words to help. Everyone grieves in their own fashion, there is no "true" way to grieve. Sometimes being in a bubble is the only way we can carry on. I've still got that shoulder should you need it, two of them in fact.

I posted this in FYC a while back and you were one of the loved ones I was thinking of at the time.

Sometimes we get tunnel vision; we forget the effect this cell fucker has on those who love us. Our mates, our family, our friends, they suffer for us and themselves. As we concentrate on the next step, the next treatment, the horrific side effects, we forget that they are there with us. We forget how powerless they feel, how they watch us change before their eyes. They see us become weaker, thinner; they watch us drift off in the middle of a conversation because we are so tired. They deal with the changes in us, the loss of hair, the loss of appetite, the vomiting, the mood swings, and too many others to mention; yet they act as if itís no big deal.

But Iíve been on their side of this battle, so I know it is a big deal.

The emotions our loved ones feel can be as devastating as the physical changes we go through. The helplessness, the frustration, the fear, and for some the steeling themselves for the inevitable. For when the battle is fought we donít always win.

For those of you who love us, thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for helping us keep a sense of normal. Thank you for standing beside us and helping us stand when we canít.

It would be so much harder without you with us.
Wonderfully expressed! Thank you!!! Fuck You Cancer!!!
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Old 05-21-2015, 01:31 PM   #1504
gamegamale
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So elegantly stated. If only I could fit it on a t-shirt. FYC.


Quote:
Originally Posted by redslady View Post
DGE, There really aren't words to help. Everyone grieves in their own fashion, there is no "true" way to grieve. Sometimes being in a bubble is the only way we can carry on. I've still got that shoulder should you need it, two of them in fact.

I posted this in FYC a while back and you were one of the loved ones I was thinking of at the time.

Sometimes we get tunnel vision; we forget the effect this cell fucker has on those who love us. Our mates, our family, our friends, they suffer for us and themselves. As we concentrate on the next step, the next treatment, the horrific side effects, we forget that they are there with us. We forget how powerless they feel, how they watch us change before their eyes. They see us become weaker, thinner; they watch us drift off in the middle of a conversation because we are so tired. They deal with the changes in us, the loss of hair, the loss of appetite, the vomiting, the mood swings, and too many others to mention; yet they act as if itís no big deal.

But Iíve been on their side of this battle, so I know it is a big deal.

The emotions our loved ones feel can be as devastating as the physical changes we go through. The helplessness, the frustration, the fear, and for some the steeling themselves for the inevitable. For when the battle is fought we donít always win.

For those of you who love us, thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for helping us keep a sense of normal. Thank you for standing beside us and helping us stand when we canít.

It would be so much harder without you with us.
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Old 05-21-2015, 09:40 PM   #1505
DeepGreenEyes
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redslady.

Thank you for putting that down in pixels.

FYC.
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"I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."
--- Jack Handey


"A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men."
---Willy Wonka

ME: I guess death clarifies.
CURIOUS_IN_CALI: Death is like camping. You pack up just what you need and go.


~ Some poems

~ Save second base
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Old Yesterday, 12:41 AM   #1506
Endless_Night
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post
< Does anyone else here grieve by retreating from all human contact? >
Absolutely. Grief can be so very overstimulating, physically and mentally. Touch can become overwhelming and unpleasant. Flinching from unexpected contact is my norm, though I can steel myself to accept touch if thereís advance warning. Awkward, as itís a time people want to express their support with hugs.

Verbal contact or interaction is like having someone poking their fingers into my brain. Pretty darn agonizing, and at times completely unendurable. I need to be alone with my pain, at least until I can beat it down to a place of functional submission.

The need to be alone does pass though, time dependent, and relative to the level of grief, but it does pass. Sending good vibes to you and your family, DGE.
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Old Yesterday, 08:26 PM   #1507
GoAztecs
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Had my last chemo today. Hopefully I am at the end, depending on the PET scan. Unfortunately one of the medicines has now messed up my lungs, so I have to go through extensive testing and scans. Never ending process
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Old Yesterday, 09:15 PM   #1508
Apple_of_Eden
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Originally Posted by GoAztecs View Post
Had my last chemo today. Hopefully I am at the end, depending on the PET scan. Unfortunately one of the medicines has now messed up my lungs, so I have to go through extensive testing and scans. Never ending process
Well the good news is the chemo is complete~! Yeah~!

The rest will be one day at a time. Take it slow and easy my friend. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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