The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

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vacation.jpg
 
horse's ass???

oily?…WTF?… I thought you had left our little world…(and thank you Miss A for saving his words for posterity – I would have missed them)


Rest assured my good darkboy, just because you’re the quintessential “April Fool” in no way prevents you from also being a “Horse’s Ass”. You’re the living proof that the two aren’t mutually exclusive.
 
copy of post made to the attentionof the moonman...

MOONMAN QUOTEI was looking through the list of contests and there's quite a gap between Nude Day and Halloween. Laurel is open to the idea of adding another contest. So any suggestions for another themed contest? I was thinking about one along the lines of "How I Spent My Summer Vacation", a contest about vacations, holidays etc. If there's any interest in adding another contest, now's the time to put forward your ideas.

I must say moonman that I was absolutely flummoxed when I saw the above post on your thread. Doubly flummoxed in fact.

First, simply by the fact that apparently you are in contact with her highness LAUREL III. Will wonders never cease. There is hope for all of us! (although I am aware this could be an April Fool’s joke you are playing on us all)

Second, that it is through you that her highness has communicated her wishes on the matter of themed contests. Given your often published opinion that you have no interest in entering stories in any contest and the fact you also doubt the veracity of the vote counting system, I’d have thought you would have been the last person to be chosen as the front man for any contest study.

I would like to advise you however that I am quite eager to put forward my ideas in the hopes they will reach the ROYAL EAR. I believe a new unscheduled contest would be the perfect place to “try out” various new ideas that heretofore have been too radical for the conservative AHland establishment.

I am extremely busy these days writing my next best seller (hopefully out in time for the Earth Day Contest) so it may take a couple of days to formulate my suggestions. However, please do not send off your report to her highness until I’ve sent you my ideas (I promise, it’ll be within a couple of days).

The suggestion will address such issues as:

*Length of story
*Multi chapter stories
*Vote selling, group tactics
*Number of submissions allowed per LITEROTICAN
*Adherence to theme and the issue of story disqualification
*Minimum vote totals required
*Audited vote verification
*Multi authored stories
*Contest theme issues
Etc., etc.

james r scouries
 
Why don't you just write your suggestions in the endorsement area on one of those royalty checks they send you?
 
Why don't you just write your suggestions in the endorsement area on one of those royalty checks they send you?

I have Dr. Pepper all over every bloody thing on my desk now, Dammit! It took me five minutes to wipe enough tears out of my eyes and catch my breath to type this.

Pure.
Comedy.
Gold.
 
i don't believe you brian...

QUOTE: While I don't have much interest in personally entering contests, I do care about the site. One doesn't have to have a horse in the running to be interested in the race.

[size=+2]I do care about the site[/size] Sounds good moonman but I’m sorry in the context of your thread it’s bullshit and you know it.

From everything you’ve posted in the past you’re a self professed opponent of the contest system here at LITEROTICA. I understand and actually agree with some of the points you’ve made.

But my dear man, you don’t show your “care for the site” by adding another contest to a series of contests you yourself don’t believe in. Instead you show your care for the site by working to improve the contest system as it now exists, the system you yourself are so disparaging of. If you’re so “interested in the race” let’s hear what you’d like to see. Let’s see you fighting and arguing for what you believe in!

So can the bull. If this is some ass kissing exercise for you fine, doesn’t bother me at all. But at least try to be honest – that’s the trait of yours I’ve always admired in the past.

jim
 
If scouries put half as much imagination into writing his stories as he does developing conspiracies from thin air, they might be worth reading :p

And here we go again with "Why won't the site owners listen to my amazing ideas to make them rich and famous" a few posts after he claims royalty checks from same as the "best selling author that keeps the whole site afloat singlehandedly"

*Whistling Looney Toons intro music*
 
quarterly figures released from scouries world...

Hi, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size],

mr scouries, jim, promised in his third post (way back when) on this thread to update his numbers periodically. Using the same format he used then, here they are 11 months later:
*figures are as of March 31st, 2008

SCOURIES TOP SELLERS – COMPLETE STORIES

1 – 842,566 - Daddy, I whispered (Literotica’s #1 2006/7/8 story)
2 – 813,351 - Ohh Mommy, I cried (Literotica’s largest seller in 2007 and 2008)
3 – 205,688 - Gayle’s Dad
4 – 176,850 - My Sisters Milk
5 – 174,585 – Halloween Mom (2007 contest story)
6 – 133,007 – Two Pregnant Moms
7 – 127,304 - Valentine Siblings (2007 contest story)
8 – 126,849 - Allison’s Ankle
8 – 113,579 - Flaherty Family
9 – 112,985 – Gabriella’s Daddy
10 – 107,969 - A Nun’s Fall
11 – 104,511 - Geoff and Melanie
12 – 95,977 – Me, Mom and Mrs. Mahmoud
13 – 94,196 - Who’s Your Daddy

TOP SELLERS – MULTI CHAPTER STORIES (combined totals)

1 – 318,580 - Rod’s Sisters stories (Ch 1&2)
2 – 303,978 - Sam stories (Ch. 1&2)
3 – 250,633 – Nude Dancing (Ch. 1&2)
4 – 236,870 - Joe’s Niece stories (Ch. 1-4)
5 – 180,781 - Scouries Family (Parts 1&2)
6 – 168,547 - Amy Stories (Ch. 1-3)
7 – 127,363 - Blanche Stories (Ch. 1-3)

TOTAL VOTES RECEIVED AS OF March 31st 2008 (net, after losses of some 7,300 votes in various sweeps) – 46,898

TOP VOTE GETTING STORIES

1 – 11,038 Daddy, I whispered (Literotica’s all time #1 vote getter)
2 – 5338 Ohh Mommy, I cried
3 – 1885 Two Pregnant Moms
4 – 1798 Valentine Siblings (2007 contest story)
5 – 1568 Swimming With the Dolphins
6 – 1446 Nude Dancing (chapter 1&2) (2007 contest story)
7 – 1391 Scouries Family (part 1&2)
8 – 1141 Sam stories (chapter 1&2)
8 – 1001 Joe stories (chapters 1-4)
9 – 979 Rod’s Sisters (chapter 1&2)
10 – 956 Allison’s Ankle
11 – 928 Gabriella
12 – 920 Candy Cane Cocked Cousin (2007 contest story)
13 – 880 Leprechaun (chapter 1&2)
14 – 824 Gayle’s Dad
15 – 809 Who’s Your Daddy
16 – 811 Amy stories (chapters 1-3)
17 – 693 Nun story

HIGHEST READ ‘MATURE CATEGORY’ STORY

Gym ‘Member’ Ship – 61,158 views and 524 votes

HIGHEST READ ‘LOVING WIVES’ CATEGORY STORY

Oh Sarah – 75,161 views

The Mechanics Big Tool – 405 votes

HIGHEST READ ‘NON-CONSENT’ CATEGORY STORY

Blanche Captured – 63,353 views and 221 votes

HIS ONLY ‘ROMANCE’ CATEGORY STORY

Miss Kiss – 16,886 views and 150 votes


Gabrielle L.
literotican…actress…threadmaster’s assistant…lover…and
ALT killer…and
V.P. ScouriesWorld seminars…and
assistant accountant reporting to mr. tex…and
deputy art director reporting to miss (I’m in charge of bananas)…and
official committee member
literotica royalty distribution committee…and
friend of GBers…and
director of scouriesworld translation services…and
vice-president marketing –Orgasming Centres Inc….and finally
secretary, 1000+ VOTE CLUB
collins avenue
miami beach, florida
 
...promised in his third post (way back when) on this thread to update his numbers periodically.
Let him know (as far as a blow-up-doll can) no one will think any less of him if he stops keeping this promise.
In fact, someone might think a little more of him!
 
MOONMAN QUOTEI was looking through the list of contests and there's quite a gap between Nude Day and Halloween. Laurel is open to the idea of adding another contest. So any suggestions for another themed contest? I was thinking about one along the lines of "How I Spent My Summer Vacation", a contest about vacations, holidays etc. If there's any interest in adding another contest, now's the time to put forward your ideas.

I must say moonman that I was absolutely flummoxed when I saw the above post on your thread. Doubly flummoxed in fact.

First, simply by the fact that apparently you are in contact with her highness LAUREL III. Will wonders never cease. There is hope for all of us! (although I am aware this could be an April Fool’s joke you are playing on us all)

Second, that it is through you that her highness has communicated her wishes on the matter of themed contests. Given your often published opinion that you have no interest in entering stories in any contest and the fact you also doubt the veracity of the vote counting system, I’d have thought you would have been the last person to be chosen as the front man for any contest study.

I would like to advise you however that I am quite eager to put forward my ideas in the hopes they will reach the ROYAL EAR. I believe a new unscheduled contest would be the perfect place to “try out” various new ideas that heretofore have been too radical for the conservative AHland establishment.

I am extremely busy these days writing my next best seller (hopefully out in time for the Earth Day Contest) so it may take a couple of days to formulate my suggestions. However, please do not send off your report to her highness until I’ve sent you my ideas (I promise, it’ll be within a couple of days).

The suggestion will address such issues as:

*Length of story
*Multi chapter stories
*Vote selling, group tactics
*Number of submissions allowed per LITEROTICAN
*Adherence to theme and the issue of story disqualification
*Minimum vote totals required
*Audited vote verification
*Multi authored stories
*Contest theme issues
Etc., etc.

james r scouries

Good points, Lone Ranger.

I wish I was Tonto.

Yours truly,

Shitting_Bull (a real fucking Indian)
 
new masterpiece released...

[size=+2]STORY REVIEW #21[/size]

[size=+2]
Cousin SCOURIES Tree Hugging Daughter
[/size]

by scouries

Incest Category


Yes ladies and gentlemen, multi award winning author and filmmaker james r scouries latest bestseller is out and on the book shelves for your reading pleasure.

In a story released to celebrate the 2008 LITEROTICA EARTH DAY CONTEST, mr scouries has produced a tale that one of LITEROTICAS most famous authors (BFW) has already labeled a “MASTERPIECE”.

Another Literotican, an old timer from back in the nineties, a onetime award winning author who’s unfortunately been suffering from writers block since 2001, Miss Dixie C. Lee, called this story the most “inspiring” she’s read in over seven years.

It tells the tale of the author’s second cousin, the famous entrepreneur and computer company owner, Bradley Scouries. Of course many of you followed the story when it exploded across the internet and your TV screens last fall.

And most of you watched the pictures and movies that flooded youtube and youporn and just about every other site last September.

You men probably stroked yourselves to spurting eruptions as you watched Brad’s teenage daughter Melissa as she flounced through the Sequoia forest, her naked body an irresistible lure.

You probably swore to yourselves when you heard that the evil computer magnate, William Cates, was going to level majestic five hundred year old forests giants so that he could built his perverted love nest.

You probably had tears in your eyes when you joined the over quarter million naked environmentalists as they sang their protest song, “Ballad of the Sequoia Seven”. You and your girlfriend may even have sat in your living room and taken off your clothes in solidarity with these ‘Eco Terrorists’.

You may even have bought a ScouriesComputerInc sequoia skinned laptop in your eagerness to help save our forests.

But until now you definitely didn’t know the real life story that was unfolding behind the headlines.

Before today you didn’t know what was happening seventy feet above the forest floor.

About the nubile young teen who’d protected her virginity even as she ripened on the California commune where nudity and sexual freedom reigned.

About her father who never suspected that a thin membrane of skin between his daughters legs still proclaimed her purity.

About the lust that slowly grew in his heart…and brain… and cock!


[size=+2]
Please…READ…VOTE…COMMENT…​
[/size]

And hey, can’t you fuckers slow down your boat just a little bit and stop killing the poor MANATEES?

James R Scouries

p.s. why the heck did they cut off the last two letters of the title anyway?
 
*chuckle* Well, I was dedicated to read as many of the contest stories as possible, and our goofy threadmaster's unfortunately popped up next in the queue.

For the first time, I can honestly say I found something worth reading from scouries.

*pause for shock and cries of traitor*

It's full of grammar errors, the plot is laughable, and most of the characters are one dimensional, lacking anything remotely resembling humanity, and seem almost splinters of the main character tossed in there to give him someone to interact with...

Most of the characters.

The narrative voice in this one is the same over-the-top, straight-jacket and tin-foil-hat worthy voice scouries has here in the forum, and it actually sort of makes this one work, if you don't take it even remotely seriously.

If this was a story from a new writer, I might very well have given it a four - perhaps even a five for a complete newcomer. For an established writer to leave the rest of the characters undeveloped and fail to catch so many errors reduces the score to a three. I also seriously doubt that scouries actually wrote this in the satirical manner in which I took it.

Disclaimer: I have a weird, twisted sense of humor. Your mileage may vary. If you try reading it as something serious, you probably won't make it past the first few paragraphs. There's also very little in the way of stroke potential, so don't bother if you're looking for that. If you blink, you'll miss it...

I can almost hear Gabby saying - in a flatulent latex wheeze - "Don't I know it!"
 
*chuckle* Well, I was dedicated to read as many of the contest stories as possible, and our goofy threadmaster's unfortunately popped up next in the queue.

For the first time, I can honestly say I found something worth reading from scouries.

*pause for shock and cries of traitor*

It's full of grammar errors, the plot is laughable, and most of the characters are one dimensional, lacking anything remotely resembling humanity, and seem almost splinters of the main character tossed in there to give him someone to interact with...

Most of the characters.

The narrative voice in this one is the same over-the-top, straight-jacket and tin-foil-hat worthy voice scouries has here in the forum, and it actually sort of makes this one work, if you don't take it even remotely seriously.

If this was a story from a new writer, I might very well have given it a four - perhaps even a five for a complete newcomer. For an established writer to leave the rest of the characters undeveloped and fail to catch so many errors reduces the score to a three. I also seriously doubt that scouries actually wrote this in the satirical manner in which I took it.

Disclaimer: I have a weird, twisted sense of humor. Your mileage may vary. If you try reading it as something serious, you probably won't make it past the first few paragraphs. There's also very little in the way of stroke potential, so don't bother if you're looking for that. If you blink, you'll miss it...

I can almost hear Gabby saying - in a flatulent latex wheeze - "Don't I know it!"

DK, you are an ass that (notice I didn't say who) can pass more gas than a donkey (notice I didn't say that) who ate a patch of gabbage.
 
DK, you are an ass that (notice I didn't say who) can pass more gas than a donkey (notice I didn't say that) who ate a patch of gabbage.


Does anybody happen to have an English to...

Whatever in the hell that was -- translator?

I've met parrots who are more articulate :p
 
Ladies and gentlemen, "Roy", the poster child for the dangers of eating lead paint chips.
 
"He" may be gone ( temporarily, I'm sure ) but his flood of alts lives on ( those he can remember the passwords for, anyhow )

And he's constantly creating new ones to boost his ranking in the Favorites Portal. I ran into a few on his E-Day mess-ter-piece.
 
I'm eagerly awaiting scouries' hissy fit about how many imaginary votes he's lost in sweeps *laugh*

That's one of the funnier things about his top vote getter thingy. Nobody has ever seen a single vote count for him, since he never makes the incest toplist :p

How about some screen captures, scouries? I'll even tell you how to do it. Hit your "Print Screen" key. It should be located at the top of your keyboard. Open any image editor, even ms paint will work. Select "paste" from the menu, and save the resulting image.

Let's see these 10,000 vote gettin' stories in black n' white *snickers*
 
You know, not to actually sound like I enjoy his work or like him as a person, but he does have a lot of fans out there, real fans, not the ones that he makes up as alts. I'm sure there is a group out there that enjoy his stories.
 
Roy, Truth or Dare, shitting bull, etc. aren't scouries' - they're another "special" individual ;)

Quite sure scouries does have real fans, and probably a fair number of them. Scouries' favorites rating is probably at least mostly accurate.

Unfortunately, he's not willing to accept a level of fame that's below his ego's expectations :p

Thus, we have claims of 10k+ votes *snicker* *guffaw* I still can't get over that. Cracks me up every time. The imaginary company, the imaginary films, the imaginary seminars, the imaginary secretary, all the imaginary sex he's having, etc.

Scouries' biggest problem ( outside his ego, inability to take any form of criticism, and the imaginary world he crafts around him to sustain it ) is that he leans on incest like a crutch to avoid learning basic grammer, character, and plot development. The readers that like him don't mind that, they're here for pure down and dirty stroke fare ( which is why his recent stories are tanking, even though he doesn't understand it. His sex scenes are tightly compressed of late, and not really providing what his real fanbase wants )

They're a readership that's just as valid as any other, but he could expand it quite a bit and possibly attain some measure of the fame he pretends he has if he'd just work on a few basics. He could keep the people he has, and add some that back-click when they see all the ellipses, stuttering consenants, cardboard characters, etc. Stepping outside his comfort zone would do him a world of good, too. He's written stories that could fit in any number of categories. Deep down, I think he knows they wouldn't survive outside of incest in their current form. The characters end up with blood relations to establish an automatic relationship, so there's no work necessary to develop it.

But enough of that. Bringing up scories' deficiencies is like talking about a dog that's just going to tilt its head sideways, stare at you because it doesn't have a clue what you're talking about, and then run off somewhere to lick itself.
 
i don't like you when you're wearing a black hat brian...

MOONMAN QUOTE: And he's constantly creating new ones to boost his ranking in the Favorites Portal. I ran into a few on his E-Day mess-ter-piece

So now I’m not only ‘robotically’ inflating my vote totals, now I’m creating ALTS to boost my ranking on the FAVORITES list? You’re starting to sound like some of these other pathetic complainers.

You know, when I first ran into the moonman even though he was a little grouchy he also was always straightforward and truthful. You didn’t get the cheap personal shots that so many others use as their stock in trade.

But now? This garbage you’ve been throwing at BFW. Jumping on new authors when they ask for comments on their first stories. Calling my brilliant opus a ‘mess-ter-piece’. This becoming a yes man for the royals. Becoming the fifth member of the miss odious, darkboy, cloudy, and j.j. gang.

It’s not you man! Please brian, you’re capable of so much more. Put the black hat away man. Come back to the side of righteousness and purity. There’s still time…

DARKBOY QUOTE: How about some screen captures, scouries? I'll even tell you how to do it. Hit your "Print Screen" key. It should be located at the top of your keyboard. Open any image editor, even ms paint will work. Select "paste" from the menu, and save the resulting image.

Let's see these 10,000 vote gettin' stories in black n' white *snickers*


DB - This could be the first post of yours that interests me at all! Ever!

Now, if you could take me through it in just a little more detail I’d be happy to oblige you.

1 - I haven’t found the “Print Screen Key” – please provide further details.

2 - When I do find it do I have to be on my submissions page?

3 – What other ‘image editors’ are there? I don’t think I have ms paint.

4 – I then just copy and paste all my submissions and their votes and views and comments into this image editor?

5 – Once I save the resulting image (and assuming it’s as easy as you’ve described and doesn’t require other steps you’ve omitted) how do I get the image into the thread? (which is the point of this exercise)

Please respond asap and I’ll be happy to give it a go.

QUOTE D.K.: You know, not to actually sound like I enjoy his work or like him as a person, but he does have a lot of fans out there, real fans, not the ones that he makes up as alts. I'm sure there is a group out there that enjoy his stories.

Thank you my dear, and yes, perhaps surprisingly, there are. The world continues to prove itself a strange and wonderful place…

And as you know (even throughout our stormy periods) I’ve never questioned your popularity, never accused you of using robots or alts to inflate your numbers.

(Mind you, if I ever find out that the poster whose name starts with the 17th letter of the alphabet is you, all bets will be off.)

jrs
 
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