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"If I don't suck your cock in five minutes, the world will end"

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Strangebuddy

Guest
Not gonna lie, just felt like I'd really like to blow a guy...which gave me an idea.

Same rules as normal, take the title quote and make a story idea that would lead to a character (male/female/hermaphroditic/undefined) saying it.
 
Most guys would accept the offer in a heartbeat, unless maybe they're homophobic and the would-be sucker is a bear, but even they *could* be persuaded. No, for drama, the sucker (a gorgeous woman, of course) is serious but the guy is a religious fanatic, maybe in a millennialist sect that looks forward to The End Of The World. She has five minutes to convince him to unzip and whip it out. He wants to go see Jesus. How to resolve this?
 
His religiousness gives sucker the idea for them to pray about it. As they are doing this sucker suggests that standing with your head looking down and your hands together in front is like doing wees at the urinal in mens toilets. So now he is thinking he needs to do wees through power of suggestion.
Sucker says will help by opening his fly and pulling, and pulling, and pulling his wee willy out. All 8 inches of it soft.
Now sucker tells him that he cannot piddle on ground in public, and he could get arrested if police called and his cock is visible. So sucker feeds it into sucker's mouth, all the way down, down, down throut. When sucking starts he gets harder and boy does he fiĺl sucker way down deep.
He soon comes and saves the world.

See, real easy to write.
 
Average woman says this to an average guy: no problem, no drama, no story.

Dude says this to an average guy: maybe a problem, some drama, possible story.

Succubus/Vampire/Tentacle Monster says this to any guy: Huge problem, probably agreement, definite story.
 
Of course we ignore the questions of WHY and HOW a blowjob will save the world. Ask not too many questions. The BJ is only the McGuffin. Maybe we need a batch of parallel stories of varied suckers and suckeds: church folk, studs, sluts, bears (hairy stocky guys), nerds, tentacles, nuns...

Yes, an elderly nun has five minutes to convince the pope to suffer a BJ else Satan will conquer all. Donald Trump has five minutes to persuade lady Gaga to take a clit-licking from him. And President Hollande is approached by a talking chimp with big, soft lips...
 
Hypoxia said:
Of course we ignore the questions of WHY and HOW a blowjob will save the world. Ask not too many questions. The BJ is only the McGuffin. Maybe we need a batch of parallel stories of varied suckers and suckeds: church folk, studs, sluts, bears (hairy stocky guys), nerds, tentacles, nuns...

Yes, an elderly nun has five minutes to convince the pope to suffer a BJ else Satan will conquer all. Donald Trump has five minutes to persuade lady Gaga to take a clit-licking from him. And President Hollande is approached by a talking chimp with big, soft lips...
Click to expand...

The most powerfully-erotic sentence ever written. :cool:
 
Hypoxia said:
Most guys would accept the offer in a heartbeat, unless maybe they're homophobic and the would-be sucker is a bear, but even they *could* be persuaded. No, for drama, the sucker (a gorgeous woman, of course) is serious but the guy is a religious fanatic, maybe in a millennialist sect that looks forward to The End Of The World. She has five minutes to convince him to unzip and whip it out. He wants to go see Jesus. How to resolve this?
Click to expand...

Time is finite. The world most end sometime, honestly I’d say “I’m ready to meet my maker, are you?”
 
How about they have to suck their own cock or the world will end in five minutes. So they have to cut their cock off and swallow-chew on it.
 
loquere said:
Time is finite. The world most end sometime, honestly I’d say “I’m ready to meet my maker, are you?”
Click to expand...
So you would condemn nine billion souls to death? What a guy!

loquere said:
How about they have to suck their own cock or the world will end in five minutes. So they have to cut their cock off and swallow-chew on it.
Click to expand...
I'm prety sure Laurel wouldn't pass such a self-mutilation story. I had to re-submit multiple times before she accepted a story about a woman *considering* drilling a hole in her forehead.
 
Hypoxia said:
So you would condemn nine billion souls to death? What a guy!

I'm prety sure Laurel wouldn't pass such a self-mutilation story. I had to re-submit multiple times before she accepted a story about a woman *considering* drilling a hole in her forehead.
Click to expand...

(1)I’m not responsible for the actions of others. In this hypothetical scenario I would not have aided or abetted in the destruction of the Earth.

(2)Yes, Laurel would not accept it nore would I write it, but it’s just an idea.


PS: What statistics do you have access to that tell you the earth has 'nine billion' people. Or when you said souls were you counting non-humans?
 
I read somewhere that 9 billion is the estimate of all the humans that have ever lived.

I may have written it before I read it, but I did read that somewhere.

Seriously, that's the estimate of the total number of modern man humans that have ever lived.
 
atariblue said:
Isn't that a big hairy No No in Litland? Or are talking monkeys still on the table?
Click to expand...
Sentient, discoursing apes (chimps are not monkeys) seem quite acceptable. See my Bride of Kong. Hopefully the ape has dressed themself in something chic and has a good patter.
 
loquere said:
If the person bites off the cock does that still count as sucking it?
Click to expand...
I've already used that.

"What a lovely cock," she mused, and then bit it off.​

And I must insist on differentiating blowing/sucking from biting. Different mouth motions. Different results, hopefully.
 
FantasyXY said:
I read somewhere that 9 billion is the estimate of all the humans that have ever lived.

I may have written it before I read it, but I did read that somewhere.

Seriously, that's the estimate of the total number of modern man humans that have ever lived.
Click to expand...

That seems pretty obviously low. The world population is 7 billion. That gives us 2 billion dead humans, for approximately 200,000 years of humanity. We hit 2 billion back in 1927, and most people from before then are dead, not to mention all the deaths of people born between 1927 and today, so unless you think humanity began in the late 1800s or so, you need a better estimate.

The Population Reference Bureau estimates 108 billion humans ever.
 
MatthewVett said:
That seems pretty obviously low. The world population is 7 billion. That gives us 2 billion dead humans, for approximately 200,000 years of humanity. We hit 2 billion back in 1927, and most people from before then are dead, not to mention all the deaths of people born between 1927 and today, so unless you think humanity began in the late 1800s or so, you need a better estimate.

The Population Reference Bureau estimates 108 billion humans ever.
Click to expand...

Sorry,

The joke was... "I wrote it then I read it".

That allows me to make up any number or statistic I want to, and tell people that I read it somewhere...

Then I follow it up with "Seriously, bla bla bla" to make it sound even more official.

Still doesn't make it true...

Maybe it wasn't as funny as I first thought.
 
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