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As The Hospital Pervs

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sweepthefloor said:
Consecutive shift work is like blowing the dick that does not want to pop. It’s hard work but you can’t stop mid-lick.
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Except not nearly as much fun, right? Btw, I've never heard a a dick that didn't want to pop, other than the second time around and that can't be too bad, can it? Inquiring minds want to know.
:rose:
 
sweepthefloor said:
I might do it. I will type it up and hand it out for free! The ICU is making me lippy. I don’t like it when I talkback. I don’t want to be a badass. I disgust myself. Maybe if you lick lick lick my ass, I will forget about it.

When I was a new nurse they gave me a cheat sheet. I carried it around on my clipboard. I always lost my clipboard, but one day I realized I had it memorized.

I spent the first year saying: I lost my papers, I lost my clipboard!
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"Where the hell did I leave my brain?" My coworkers have already learned to pay attention when I set my clipboard down in a random place because they know I'll be looking for it soon. lol

Of course, I have six patients - and that's not counting all the patients I discharged during the day. I need my brain because it's my cheat sheet on the patients, their issues, labs, tests, and results.

It's almost literally - my brain. LOL
 
Been on duty since 7 and we already have had a cpr, resporitory, and chest pain call in the county. Going to be one of those days.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Hehe BeachMa! Hey, I thought about you: RRT to Telemetry. Awwwa
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LOL! Thanks, I think. How did the RR turn out?

We had a calm, peaceful weekend at work. No real issues - well, until shift change last night. One of the pts went into SVT at 200. I don't think it was sustained, and I don't think they had to call the RRT.

No issues means that the inmates ran the asylum. We were in full force mischief and mayhem mode. It was a fun weekend. :D

The ER - that was another story. They pretty much had a full house all weekend - code 911 all weekend. That didn't bother US any. We had a full house too. No beds means no admissions.
 
BeachMomma said:
You have tight, high buns? :devil:

Sorry, I couldn't resist!
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I'm tight working on high-higher I wanna go higher.
I've had enough coffee today. It's not good. I'm running around with two written-out patients. You know, I'm kind of bored. I can't believe I just typed that! I read both medical charts entirely and my flowsheets look empty without every one hour assessments.

I'm in the pantry drinking my last cup of coffee. Three Residents have walked in and stole juice and crackers so far. "I'm starving." "I need juice."

"I think I'm hypoglycemic." "where are the crackers?"
 
Oh the RRT was resp distress intubated on the floor, you know and it was right before shift change.
 
sweepthefloor said:
I'm tight working on high-higher I wanna go higher.
I've had enough coffee today. It's not good. I'm running around with two written-out patients. You know, I'm kind of bored. I can't believe I just typed that! I read both medical charts entirely and my flowsheets look empty without every one hour assessments.

I'm in the pantry drinking my last cup of coffee. Three Residents have walked in and stole juice and crackers so far. "I'm starving." "I need juice."

"I think I'm hypoglycemic." "where are the crackers?"
Click to expand...

Peanut butter and graham crackers - the breakfast, lunch, and dinner of medical type champions.

sweepthefloor said:
Oh the RRT was resp distress intubated on the floor, you know and it was right before shift change.
Click to expand...

It's always right at shift change. Twenty-four hours in a day, yet emergencies seem to occur within an hour either way of 0700 or 1900.
 
Finally catching a break. Not been overly hectic. Just steady. Hoping tonight is better!
 
Wondering if that nurse in the ED was rubbing against me on purpose or if it was just because of tight quarters?
 
icrwid68 said:
Wondering if that nurse in the ED was rubbing against me on purpose or if it was just because of tight quarters?
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Your post reminds me to stop calling the ED, ER! It's not a 'room' lol

She was rubbing you, getting a feel. We did that once during an RRT turned code. It was just the lateral aspect of my right leg on his left leg, but it was shocking! It was brief minutes that lasted forever, and we worked.
 
Next time I will grind into her just a bit to check her reaction. Will leep you posted.
 
Kitschshaman said:
Except not nearly as much fun, right? Btw, I've never heard a a dick that didn't want to pop, other than the second time around and that can't be too bad, can it? Inquiring minds want to know.
:rose:
Click to expand...
Did I answer this yet?

Dicks on cocaine? I don't know anything about that but I might think of a psycho porn-o movie: "Mad Cock on Coke."
 
sweepthefloor said:
How many sticks of diprivan, and how much sux does it take to put down a delirious man in a rage with super strong arms?

Anesthesia used the glide scope. Vocal cords on TV!

I'm gonna get one of those scopes and use it during BJs.

Hehehehehe
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That sounds so youtube viral!
 
sweepthefloor said:
Did I answer this yet?

Dicks on cocaine? I don't know anything about that but I might think of a psycho porn-o movie: "Mad Cock on Coke."
Click to expand...

May I suggest going more alliterative? "Crazed Cocks on Coke" might work better.

Here's a piece of trivia: there is actually a job title in the porn industry called "stunt cock". Apparently used for close-ups when the "star" can't rise to the occasion.

I really want to have that on my resume'. If only because it would let you know if anyone actually read the damn thing.
 
Damn, who let the patients in the Psych. ward have the key to the medicine cabinet while I was giving rounds?

This is going on the report.
 
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