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Re-writing history

lovecraft68 said:
I have some bits and pieces of a rewriting of the Salem witch trials where the Puritan scum are actually the ones put on trial by a coven of witches and get what they deserve.
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That's actually kinda close to what happened, from what I read. Most of the "witches" were christians, who thought their god would save them. The term "witch" was thrown around like "slut," or "chomo."
 
The first alt.history I read, way back when, was Herman Wouk's IF THE SOUTH HAD WON THE CIVIL WAR, with Grant dying from falling drunkenly off his horse at Appomattox. From there to Harry Turtledove wasn't a huge leap. That's wholesale revision. The retail level is personal. What would life be like if I'd lived differently?

I suppose Bride of King, set in a world where KING KONG and JURASSIC PARK were documentaries, is alt.history. I have more time-travel tales cooking slowly but they won't change history. If I *were* to explore world or national alt.histories, what would they be?

* Shirley Chisholm wins the US presidency in 1972, ends VietNam war early, appoints excluded minorities, and wails! Roe v Wade is decided two days after inauguration (true). Emboldened women of many ethnicities mount a supercharged sexual revolution.

* Nikola Tesla patents and promotes broadcast television in 1892, buys-out the Bell and Western Union wired systems, and has a working Internet raging by 1910. Pr0n proliferates internationally, of course. The World Wars never happen; Europeans are too busy fucking. Hitler succeeds as a painter of smutty art for bars.

* Samoan scientists invent nuclear weapons in 1925. Samoa conquers the world by 1927. The global depression never happens. Degenerate Samoan royals enforce mandatory public nudity and promiscuity in all conquered peoples. Sex-slavery is legalized.

* English king Henry VIII doesn't execute all those wives but keeps them (and their sisters) as a harem. A bribed pope blesses the menage. Henry and the Western world stay Roman Catholic; the Protestant Reformation fizzles out; everyone sins, confesses, and sins again, and again, and...

The formula: find a fork in the historical road and take the other path whilst fucking, sucking, and slurping.
 
Hypoxia said:
The first alt.history I read, way back when, was Herman Wouk's IF THE SOUTH HAD WON THE CIVIL WAR, with Grant dying from falling drunkenly off his horse at Appomattox. From there to Harry Turtledove wasn't a huge leap. That's wholesale revision. The retail level is personal. What would life be like if I'd lived differently?

I suppose Bride of King, set in a world where KING KONG and JURASSIC PARK were documentaries, is alt.history. I have more time-travel tales cooking slowly but they won't change history. If I *were* to explore world or national alt.histories, what would they be?

* Shirley Chisholm wins the US presidency in 1972, ends VietNam war early, appoints excluded minorities, and wails! Roe v Wade is decided two days after inauguration (true). Emboldened women of many ethnicities mount a supercharged sexual revolution.

* Nikola Tesla patents and promotes broadcast television in 1892, buys-out the Bell and Western Union wired systems, and has a working Internet raging by 1910. Pr0n proliferates internationally, of course. The World Wars never happen; Europeans are too busy fucking. Hitler succeeds as a painter of smutty art for bars.

* Samoan scientists invent nuclear weapons in 1925. Samoa conquers the world by 1927. The global depression never happens. Degenerate Samoan royals enforce mandatory public nudity and promiscuity in all conquered peoples. Sex-slavery is legalized.

* English king Henry VIII doesn't execute all those wives but keeps them (and their sisters) as a harem. A bribed pope blesses the menage. Henry and the Western world stay Roman Catholic; the Protestant Reformation fizzles out; everyone sins, confesses, and sins again, and again, and...

The formula: find a fork in the historical road and take the other path whilst fucking, sucking, and slurping.
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Can I please put in a request for Samoa conquers the world?
 
jehoram said:
David Harris wrote a book called (IIRC) Fatherland about a guy solving a crime in post WW2 Berlin, in a timeline where Germany won the war. I always thought that was kind of clever.
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Oh, that reminds me of that tv-series 'The man in the High Castle'.
The Man in the High Castle is an American dystopian alternate history television series. The series is based on the 1962 novel of the same name by Philip K. Dick. In the series' alternate version of 1962 America, the Axis powers have won World War II and divided the United States into two puppet states: the Greater Nazi Reich and the Japanese Pacific States.
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Haven't watched that series yet, but it sounded promising. And since my gf wanted to see the series, haven't moved to grab the book yet grabbed the entire series ...
 
Bramblethorn said:
Robert Harris. Yeah, that's a good one, but grim.
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Damn, you're right. ROBERT Harris. (I used to know a David Harris once, and I keep getting the two confused.)

Robert Harris also wrote a great book called Selling Hitler, which was about a guy who forged a whole series of Hitler diaries and fenced them through a guy who had some very prominent people in the publishing world convinced that the diaries were genuine. The weird thing is that it wasn't fiction at all.
 
Hypoxia said:
* Samoan scientists invent nuclear weapons in 1925. Samoa conquers the world by 1927. The global depression never happens. Degenerate Samoan royals enforce mandatory public nudity and promiscuity in all conquered peoples. Sex-slavery is legalized.
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JasonClearwater said:
Can I please put in a request for Samoa conquers the world?
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There'll likely be sex with talking tuna, too. Not to mention the incest. Maybe not tuna incest, but who knows? But the big question: when challenged by Tongans, who wins?

PS: I thought David Harris was Joan Baez's peacenik prisoner BF?
 
Hypoxia said:
There'll likely be sex with talking tuna, too. Not to mention the incest. Maybe not tuna incest, but who knows? But the big question: when challenged by Tongans, who wins?

PS: I thought David Harris was Joan Baez's peacenik prisoner BF?
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Sex with talking Tuna.

FFS, I give up. Everyone wants to fuck fish these days.
 
JasonClearwater said:
Sex with talking Tuna.

FFS, I give up. Everyone wants to fuck fish these days.
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Porpoises have been known to attempt rape of human women. Don't even ask about the torrid depravity of Amazon dolphins. But you're safe with salmon. Probably.
 
Hypoxia said:
Porpoises have been known to attempt rape of human women. Don't even ask about the torrid depravity of Amazon dolphins. But you're safe with salmon. Probably.
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Personally, I'll take the porpoises over the salmon. It's a little known fact that thirty percent of unreported sexual assaults are perpetrated by salmon, but no one wants to talk about it.

Also, the Society for Justice for Porpoises has tried again and again to point out that it's dolphins who are the rapists, not porpoises. But that prejudice still exists in many quarters of the oceans.
 
Back to rewriting history. With seafood.

After Scotland seceded from the UK following WWI and established a separate kingdom, the populace tired of royal human corruption and invited a noble family of selkies (were-seals) to lead their realm. But as hinted in The Great Selkie of Sule Skerry, they are inconstant but horny. The Scottish nation was soon overrun by misceginated half-selkies, feared but lusted after by common folk.

Take it from there.
 
JasonClearwater said:
Personally, I'll take the porpoises over the salmon. It's a little known fact that thirty percent of unreported sexual assaults are perpetrated by salmon, but no one wants to talk about it.

Also, the Society for Justice for Porpoises has tried again and again to point out that it's dolphins who are the rapists, not porpoises. But that prejudice still exists in many quarters of the oceans.
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You sure they're not being confused with Mahi-mahi, also called dolphin. There's something sounds fishy about this.
 
JasonClearwater said:
I think I used to have a porpoise. But then again, that might have been a dream.
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As long as you're in tuna with your sole, you can never go a-ray.

I find as I get older my herring isn't as good as it used to be, and my sense of smelt isn't so hot, either. I tell you, it's knocked me off my perch. It's enough to make one grunt, just for the halibut.
 
SimonDoom said:
As long as you're in tuna with your sole, you can never go a-ray.

I find as I get older my herring isn't as good as it used to be, and my sense of smelt isn't so hot, either. I tell you, it's knocked me off my perch. It's enough to make one grunt, just for the halibut.
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Whale said. Everything has its plaice.
 
I'm rather impressed with all these witty fish puns. However, the original post is rather interesting, so when y'all get back to re-writing history, let minnow.
 
clistenovena said:
I'm rather impressed with all these witty fish puns. However, the original post is rather interesting, so when y'all get back to re-writing history, let minnow.
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Whale said. (30 seconds after posting this I realized Jason had beaten me to this witticism, so don't hate me. I just edited this post to give him credit for this).

But seriously, it's an interesting question, but what does it have to do with erotica?
 
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SimonDoom said:
But seriously, it's an interesting question, but what does it have to do with erotica?
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It's an excuse to fantasy-fuck the famous and flamboyant as well as to deftly explore social issues, yada yada. Wee little historical twists could legitimize fetishes, punish common practices, set or discard taboos, and promote orgies. That's the connexion.
 
SimonDoom said:
But seriously, it's an interesting question, but what does it have to do with erotica?
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Hypoxia said:
It's an excuse to fantasy-fuck the famous and flamboyant as well as to deftly explore social issues, yada yada. Wee little historical twists could legitimize fetishes, punish common practices, set or discard taboos, and promote orgies. That's the connexion.
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That's all sorts of erotica right there. On with the re-write! (said whomever is doing such)
 
I'm surprised no-one's mentioned Harry Harrison or Harry Turtledove when it comes to alternative history. Harrison's written a few but my favorite of his is "The Hammer and The Cross" and it's sequels, "One King's Way" and "King and Emperor".

The series is alternative history set in 9th century England, where Viking raids are common and explores what might have happened if the Vikings had fought more successfully against the rule of Chalcedonian Christianity. I liked it even more after watching the "Vikings" TV Series which has a lot of the same characters, like the Ragnarssons.

51cLcNelAQL._SX308_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
 
clistenovena said:
That's all sorts of erotica right there. On with the re-write! (said whomever is doing such)
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It's Internet Rule 35 or something: Everything is fuckable. Alt.history erotica merely expands the range of available fuckables. We can merrily extrapolate.

Suppose Lincoln's bedmate BF Joshua Speed hadn't died young. How would a male First Lady have changed US culture? Would RuPaul be president now? Would public sex be common?

Suppose Dr Maria de Mencius had developed Germ Theory in 1802 and sparked a medical revolution then, wiping out clap, poxes, flu, fevers, etc, as well as discovering chemical birth control (for all sexes) soon after, so everybody could fuck freely. Would polyamory be common?

Suppose Jobs and Woz were imprisoned for hacking and never invented Apples, Macs, iPhones, etc. Would the microsystem revolution have been led by saucy communist tech-girls from the Homebrew Computer Club? Would teledildonics be common?

Suppose Juan Perón had his beloved Evita cloned en masse and accidentally released crowds of her to lustily roam the pampas, fucking vaqueros and vaqueras indiscriminately, like living sex-zombis. Would that have prevented the Falklands war and prompted mass migration to Argentina by guys seeking zombi sex?
 
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