Detective Humphrey Stables and the Case of the Dead Elf

The 16 story Oakwood Office building stood on the corner of Summer Street and Citadel Ave. It was a stately building solidly constructed. Everything you would expect from the dwarf stonemasons who had designed and built it. But the building’s better days were in its past. Formerly a bank, it was now a collection of small offices and shops. Everything from a tailor shop for Tree-folk to a cleric for your pet.

Penny from the 10th floor insurance adjuster’s office had made her way up to the 11th floor and now stood in front of the Detective’s door. The door had fogged glass in the upper half with big bold black letter stating “Humphrey Stables, Private Investigator”

Penny was nervous. She had a small crush on the detective, but would never ever ask him out. He was a centaur, after all. She stood at the door a moment before knocking. She could hear Mr. Stables inside… it sounded like he was brewing coffee. Which made sense, it was 9:30 in the morning. But then she heard a hard liquor decanter being opened, liquid being poured into a coffee cup, followed by drinking and “aww”. She knew the coffee was not done as it continued to brew. She was confused.

She decided it was now or never. She knocked softly on the door. Penny was a pretty human but with so many sexy elves around, you might not think to look twice at her. She had brown straight hair and a kind face. She wore very little makeup, but she did not need a lot.

“Are you busy, Detective Stables?” she asked. “It’s Penny from one floor below.” She added.

It was another lonely morning at the Stables detective agency and Humphrey, detective Humphrey Stables sat nursing a glass of watered down gin and tonic, waiting for someone, anyone to Come walking through those doors. Things were getting pretty tight waiting for his next job, if it took much longer, he'd have to sell a hoof or two for glue.

He'd set some coffee on to brew but the old purculator was damn near worn out, he'd be lucky to have even a cup brewed by midday at this rate. He swore to himself that he'd buy a new one the moment he got a new client... or parted with a hoof, whichever came first.

Wait... he perked up, noticing the silhouette of someone at his office door. ...just standing there. How long had they been there, he wondered as he grabbed the bottle of gin and refreshed his drnk, seeing as he wasn't likely to get his morning coffee anytime soon.

Taking a swig off the newly filed glass, he let out a small groan of disgust, he couldn't even afford the good stuff. "Aww..."

Just then, there was a soft knock at the door, as if his sigh had summoned it. "Penny?" He recognized her voice. Sweet girl, too hard on herself, but she always had a smile for him. Most humans didn't like or trust cross breeds or source creatures, called them godless and abominations, but there were a few exceptions. Penny was definitely one.

"Penny! Come on in! How's my favorite insurance adjuster today?" He was pretty sure she had a crush on him and it was always a lark to flirt with he even though he doubted it would go anywhere.

Penny opened the door slowly and shyly peeked around the edge. She glazed at Detective Stables for a moment. The centaur was ruggedly handsome. He looked like a hard-boiled, tough, Private Investigator. Just like those described in those cheap dime store novels. But Humphrey's face was noble, as if he was related to nobility. He wore clothing on his human half, appropriate for his profession, skirt and jacket. His horse half was naked. His horse coat was fine and there were muscles everywhere on his equine parts and his human part she assumed. His body screamed of male sexuality. Big, strong, potent and virile. Penny was almost drooling looking at him. She needed to work hard to focus on what to say. She walked more fully into the room.

“Oh, Mr. Stables, I’m just the receptionist. Mr. Jones has only taken me on one adjustment. It will be a while until I’m a real adjuster.” Penny replied, flattered by his comment.

She paused a moment as the coffee maker bubbled in the background.

“I need some advice.” Penny continued. “Robert, my boyfriend has disappeared. We were due to meet for dinner two days ago, but he never showed. When I still hadn’t heard anything from him yesterday, I called the inn where he worked. They said he had collected his pay and cleared out. They didn’t know where he went, unfortunately. I’ve yet to hear a word from him. I’m concerned, no … actually I’m worried.” Penny explained.

She stopped and glanced at the coffee.

“Some coffee?” Humphrey asked. He knew she had more to say.

“Please” Penny replied. Humphrey poured some coffee into a mug and handed it to her.

“I know what you are thinking “the girl was kicked off the unicorn”. I know that Robert is not a saint. He has cheated on me before. But if he is leaving me, he would at least say goodbye. Can you give me some advice? What should I do?” Penny asked.

Humphrey couldn't help but puff up a little bit, noticing the way Penny was clearly admiring his physique. He half smirked and shifted to show off his shiny brown coat, horse hair, not the trench coat he work, although he was proud of that as well, Probably too proud.

"Oh, nonsense, if Mr. Jones keeps playing the races like he does its only a matter of time before he goes broke on it, you know those things are rigged, right? Doesn't take more than a saw buck to get some centaur or another to talk the horses into fixed places, if you know what I mean. You'd be a shoe in for the job, I think." He banter ed as he poured her a mug, well, half of one, of coffee and handed it to her.

"Advice?" He asked, tilting his head. "Oh..." he deflated just a little bit at the mention of her boyfriend. "Hmm, well, sounds like Robert might have gotten himself into a bit of trouble... he wasn't into anything shady, was he? Messin with drugs, gangs, that sorta thing? Gambling?" Poor girl, she looked absolutely miserable over this guy, if only one thing got to Humphrey, it was seeing a damsel in distress. "Tell ya what, I'll look into it for you, ask around, see if I can't find out what happened to your man Robert. You just take it easy, relax, take a nice long bubble bath tonight, treat yourself right. I'll give ya a call if I find anything out." He reached out and touched her shoulder trying not to imagine her naked in a bubble bath. He had to stifle a chuff of excitement at the thought.

"You know... I could always use a secretary, part time... if you were interested" he added, out of the blue surprising himself. "Help me keep the bills straight, papers in order, that sort of thing..." When, really, it was more about having someone around to talk to during the long hours between cases, and she was nice to talk to, even nicer to look at, if he was honest.

Penny went through a wild series of emotions as she processed what Humphrey had told her. First, he asked about Robert and trouble. She thought of that time, she had seen Robert with those goblins. Goblins were trouble… some of them with Robert had been packing heat! She became more worried… but then Humphrey said he would look into what happened to Robert for free. She was happy and hopeful.

But the handsome Detective's final suggestion made her mouth pop open in surprise and shock. He wanted to hire her part-time to work as his secretary!! Wow, her mind went into a tail spin. She forgot all about Robert and the goblins. Her mind was filled with thoughts of looking and talking to the dreamy detective every day. How amazing would that be!!

“Oh Mr. Stables!! I would LOVE to work for you!! Even just part time. I know I can help you. You will not regret it.” She gasped in excitement. She wanted to say more… her mind raced to find something. Then she thought of something “Oh, and since you are helping me find Robert. I’ll work for free until my debt is paid.” She suggested.

She saw an accepting look on Humphrey’s face and just grabbed him and hugged him. Her head rested against his chest.

“Mr. Stables, I can’t tell you how happy you have made me!! Thank you, Thank you” She exclaimed. Then she released him and took a deep breath. “My break is over… I’d better go… If you have a spare key to your office, please drop it by and I’ll start tonight!” She said in excitement. Leaving his office in a hurry, before the detective could change his mind.

Humphrey watched Penny departs. To his surprise his new part time employee almost collided with beautiful brunette walking towards his office. The detective needed to take a deep breath. The human woman was stunning and dripped with style and class. She was wearing a hat, the latest in high fashion, an expensive necklace, and a lowcut white blouse. The centaur detective watched as her heavy breasts shifting under her white blouse, with each stride. He was mesmerized by them! Penny even did a half-turned to say “sorry” to the woman, but also, to get another view of the woman’s amazing figure.

As the woman entered his front waiting area she asked “Are you Detective Stables?" Her dark brown eyes were examining him as he looked at her. “My name is Chloe and I need a detective” She explained.

Penny's exhuberance was contagious, she was going to make a great secretary, that is, if he could just get a case to keep the Stable doors open, as it were. Her hug came unexpectedly, but it was so nice he almost didn't let her go. "I'll deliver the key to my office before I leave for the night!" He called out after her as she rushed out. He was busy putting the key in an envelope and sealing it just as a beautiful brunette walked in after her.

This woman was high class with a body that just wouldn't quit. Humphrey caught himself staring as she addressed him, looking him over with her deep brown eyes. "Well then you are in the right place, I am The one and only Detective Stables, but you can call me Humphrey." He put the envelope in his breast pocket and came around to greet the woman. "Chloe was it?" He motioned her to a seat and offered her a half a cup of coffee. "What is it that I could do for you? Do you need me to follow a cheating husband around?" He asked with a sly smile. He was not expecting what she said next.

Chloe Fox

Chloe looked at the coffee Humphrey had handed to her. She could not figure out why it was only half full. Finally, with a good-natured shrug of her shoulders she drank from the cup. It tasted like shit, way too strong, but she liked her coffee that way.

“No, I’m not married” Chloe answered Humphrey’s guess about following her cheating husband.

“I need you to help me solve a murder.” Chloe explained bluntly. Now, it was Humphrey’s turn to be surprised. Chloe opened her expensive looking purse and pulled out a photography and handed it to Humphrey. It was an old, but stately looking elf, Humphrey thought he knew who it was but was not sure.

“His name was Sontar Pana, you probably have heard of him” Chloe explained.

At the mention of the wealthiest elf in the city, Humphrey moved from surprise to shock. He had heard about the man’s murder, it had been in all the papers. “You are…” he began to say. Chloe finished for him

“Yes, I’m Chloe Fox. The wealthy shit left me his entire fortune. I had only known him for two weeks. So, all the suspicion is squarely on me. Everyone thinks I killed the old guy.” Chloe said with some frustration. There was a pause as Humphrey looked at Chloe with suspicious eyes.

“I’m innocent in case you are wondering.” Chloe told him. “I need someone to help me figure out who did kill Sontar. Before the police figure out a way to pin this on me. I heard you are honest and trustworthy. I’d like to hire you.” Chloe offered.

Humphrey was nothing if not observant, so when she eyes the half full mug with curiosity, he shrugged as well. "Machines wearing put, but it sure makes a strong cup of coffee." He managed to get a swallow or two out of the pot for himself. The bitterness of it made him shudder, but the moment it hit his stomach, he was wide awake.

"Not married? What a shame..." Humphrey sighed, still not recognising her. "A murder?" He was intrigued already, most of his cases were more of the garden variety, cheating husband's or wives, drug or gambling problems, mostly just vice cases. Homicide was not something he was used to. The sight of her purse, though, was a pretty good indication that she could make this case worth taking on. Not that he could afford to turn any case down at the moment.

He took the photo and looked it over. It was of an elf, a male, stodgy looking, clearly old money. The face rung a bell, but he couldn't quite place it, it was probably the gin. "Sontar Pana?! The founder of Panaura? The largest Source company in the world?!" Detective Stables couldn't hide his surprise. "Then... you are..." his jaw went slack as she finished for him.


He tried to remain neutral, but the rumors were that she was a kitsune that had bewitched the old man. Not something easy to pull on an elf, usually, but he was old, maybe his faculties were deminished. Still, Chloe didn't look like she was capable of murder. Her eyes, too soft to be any sort of killer.

Humphrey cleared his throat and shook his head, shaking off any shred of suspicion he had w toward her. "Of course you are! There's no question about it. I'd be happy to help. Normally I charge a hundred up front and another if I can Crack the case but for you, I'll only ask for fifty up front, fair?"

“Mr. Stables” Chloe started, “You are selling yourself short! And I’m certain there is nothing short about you” She replied with a small sexy twinkle in her eye. Her innuendo was clearly sexual. She reached into her purse and pulled out 500 dollars

“How about 500 now and another 500 when it is solved. This case will take resources and…” she glanced over to his coffee maker “A better coffee maker.” She joked. “There is another reason I’m offering you this amount of money. I will be working on this case with you. Sorry, but that is part of the deal. If you can’t agree, then we need to part our ways.”

"I... Well..." Humphrey stammered, feeling himself stiffen at the smolderingly sensual look she gave him. She sure knew how to make a guy hot to trott, no wonder Sontar liked her so much. Any red blooded man would! "Five now, five after? Mystra's blood, you could get him rezed for that!" It was possible, but not as likely, being as Pana was an elf. His kind was notoriously difficult to bring back with magic, elves were so long lived as it was. Pana must have been at least five hundred years old!

It was probably going to take quite a bit to unravel this case, that was true, and it would be nice having one of those new Bunne' coffee makers from Panaura. "I see... I dono mean to be rude, but what kind of life insurance do you have? If things go south while you're on this case with me, I won't be able to afford getting you rezed. I'm prepared to take the risk, but I'd never forgive my if somethinghappened to you." In truth, he did have a policy that granted him one free rezed a year, with at least four paid off over the years, but they were on the solo plan, being single, he had no reason to pay for a family plan.

Chloe had been with lots of men, human and otherwise. She could not be swayed by a handsome face or some nice comment. She looked at Humphrey more closely. The centaur was just her type. Handsome, tough, and a bit of a rebel. She could tell the statements about him being honest and trustworthy were accurate. She needed him to help her. If anyone could help her get out of this mess it was him. But she could lose him, if she let her attraction to him get in the way of their professional relationship. She did not want to be like that drooling girl she almost bumped into on the way to his office.

“Mr. Stable, sorry for my flirting. I need a detective right now, not a lover. I sometimes act on my feeling in the moment” Chloe explained then she smiled “in some ways that is how I got into this situation.”

“My life insurance is up to date. You have no worries in that department.” Chloe answered his question.

“So can you start my case now? What is the first thing WE should look into?” Chloe asked emphasizing the WE part of her question.

"No need to apologize, I see nothing wrong with a little harmless flirtation and I'm nothing if not professional, the case comes first, of course." He straightened his shoulders and cleared his throat, was she saying she was into him? Most humans despised crossbreeds like him for being unnatural, more source than soul. It was refreshing to feel so desired. "Well, we'll just have to get you out of this particular situation, won't we?" He took the offered money, relieved to know she was covered if something should happen to her. A good rez policy was worth every cent, his father always said.

"Of course, I'm already on it" he said cheerfully, grabbing his hat and coat from the rack next to the door. "Just have to drop an envelope off on the way out." He patted his breast pocket, rememberinghis promise to Penny. "Get me to the crime scene and we will go from there, just let me get my case of tools..." he shifted around her, brushing up against her luscious body by accident. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stifle a chuff of excitement as he grabbed his brief case full of investigative tools.

Chloe also felt the Humphrey brush up against her. Her body responded with excitement and that tingling sensation in her pussy. She grabbed her purse tighter to refocus her mind. Humphrey's big strong centaur body turned around and he held his investigation tool case.

“Ok, let's go.” Chloe said trying to keep her voice steady. She walked out of the office. Humphrey said “Need to stop on the 10th floor first. Insurance adjuster’s office” He explained. The elevator stopped on the 10th and Humphrey dropped off the envelop to the same lady he had been talking to before Chloe arrived.

Chloe could tell right away the young lady had a big crush on Humphrey. The dreamy look in her eyes and the way she unconsciously played with her hair was a dead giveaway. The young lady named Penny also gave Chloe murderous looks. She was definitely was trying to tell Chloe to stay away from her “man-horse” . The whole exchange just made Chloe want to fuck Humphrey’s even more. But if she screwed Humphrey, she was screwing herself! She could be put in the electric chair! No fuck was worth that charge.

They got into a “lar-hum” (slang for "large human") taxi. With Minotaurs and Trolls needing rides, cabs had expanded to large vans that could accommodate larger passengers. The Lar-hum taxi took Humphrey and Chloe into the huge central park in the middle of the city.

“Pull over here” Chloe directed as they got close to the murder site.

“He was killed at night” She explained to Humphrey as they got out of the cab. Chloe paid the driver. “We use to take evening walks. Sontar loved them. You know how Elves are about the forest and nature.” Chloe said and then looked over to Humphrey “I guess that is true for Centaurs too. Anyhow, he loved this part of the park, because the trees are older and dense.” She continued. “I was not on his walk that night.” Humphrey and Chloe were now in a dense and isolated part of the park. Chloe walked up to some trees with police tape on them. “He was found here. A spot we use to kiss at.” She said pointing to the spot in the middle of the taped area. “The police said someone stabbed him multiple times and then cut off his head. No raising the dead after that!”

Humphrey looked at the dead leaves and the clear signs of dried blood on the ground. His nose smelled the faint odor of death, even though the body had been remove days ago. Humphrey could almost tell where the bloody, mutilated body had been from the crushed leaves and dried blood. “His body was found in the morning. It did not go unnoticed for long. No one heard any screams, even though it was close to closing time for most of the bars.”

“No footprints of the killer. They did find one of my earrings on the ground.” Chloe explained. Humphrey looked at her with surprise. “I know… that kind of makes it look like I was here. But I was not. I have no clue how it got here.” Chloe said. Humphrey put his tool case on the ground.

“What are you going to check for?” Chloe asked “Fingerprints? Small traces of the sword used? Are you going to take blood samples?” Chloe asked in excitement, trying to guess his next action.

Humphrey was far from oblivious to the heat that came over Chloe, just from brushing past her, but he was too polite to say anything about it, this was business, maybe after he got her off... he could thing about getting her off.

While delivering the key to Penny, he slipped her a twenty, saying "It's not much, but here's an advance, if you could get a new coffee maker for the office? One that makes a cup of brew that tastes like magic instead of mud? I should be back before midnight, hope to see you then." Without hesitation, he kissed the back of her hand, feeling eyes on them from all over the office.

The taxi ride was far from comfortable, sure, there was plenty of space, but would it kill them to at least upholster the damn things at least? He'd called to complain once and was told they were left un upholstered for "ease of cleaning", a nice way of saying they hosed the dung out of them every night. Some crossbreeds could be very uncivilized!

"Central Park? Of course, now I remember hearing the report, had not realized it was Pana who was put six under..." he offered a hand to help her step out of the cab. "Mind if I ask what you were to him? How long you were with him?" He looked around, central park was lovely in spring, all the new life was heady to the senses. "Well, where elves find peaceful solitude, most centaurs feel the wild exhuberance of life... makes us want to run and jump usually, but.... I can smell death here... it's... unpleasant."

As expected, there, up ahead was police tape, cordoning off a section of the woods. He went to it and lifted it up so Chloe could slip under, following her in, to the spot Sontar had died, a numbered marker indicated his final resting place, his outlined stenciled onto the fresh grass, sure enough, indicating his decapitation.

He tried to focus, but at the mention of their kissing, his eyes fluttered up to Chloe's deep red lips, they were trembling. "I see..." he wanted nothing more than to help this poor woman, she seemed so sad, so dreadfully scared over her own fate. No wonder she hadn't had him rezed, losing your head, you were pretty well done. "The head? Was it found?" There were dark magics that could let Sontar talk one last time, but not without it... Not that Humphrey wanted anything to do with the dark arts! But if the head was missing, it's a sure bet that the killer knew about them and didn't want them enacted so Sontar could identify them... posthumously.

His gut told him the killer was either a practitioner or someone who knew more than he did about the arcane. He had a collection of handy little magic items though and that was about as close to raw magic as he liked to get. "I'd like to see that ear ring If I could." He said as he knelt his front half down at the spot where Sontar had died, opening his brief case.

"Nah... Just going to take a quick look... into the past!" He took out a magnifying glass and whispered against the glass. It showed him the events from two days ago in hazy, smokey images. Being dark it was hard to make out the shimmering image of Sontar from the past, but he saw that hit was an elf, laying, coughing blood, staring up at his killer with wide eyes. No sound, but he could make out the exaggerated words of pain and fear on his lips. "But why my lo.." his final words cut off with the stroke of a blade! Humphrey followed the blade up, there were runes etched into it. "Holtair gurath sominae..." he read aloud, shifting to see who the killer was.

To his shock, it did indeed look as though it had been Chloe, but no... her face was the same, but her frame... was different, wasn't it? It was so hazy, he couldn't be sure. He was revolted to see the faux Chloe take up the severed head of Sontar and kiss it, blood marring those beautiful lips. The last thing he saw before the enchanted image cut out was the faux Chloe removing an ear ring from her ear and dropping it next to the body.

He stood back up and took the next few minutes to explain to Chloe what he saw. "In short... I don't think this was about Pana at all... I think someone is out to get you."

Chloe answered Humphrey’s many questions. “My relationship with Sontar is private” Chloe said firmly “I will not discuss it further. We were together for 2 weeks” She said, clearly, she was upset he had asked that question.

“The Head was not found. The police looked for it. Never found it.” Chloe said. "The earring is with the Police. I do not remember wearing it. They only found one earring, but I looked for the other one and can’t seem to find it.”

Humphrey seemed done with the crime scene and the two headed back to where they could pick up a cab. On the way, Chloe addressed Humphrey’s comment about someone was out to get her.

"Out to get me? Impossible. Everyone likes me!" Chloe said. “Well, except Pana ex-wife, his brother and sister… pretty much his whole family. Oh, and everyone at the company. I guess there are a lot of people that don’t like me. But my friend Karla likes me. That is important.” Chloe said and added “I hope you like me too”

The Lar-Hum pulled up to the curb and the two got in. “Police station” Chloe said. “Do you know anyone on the police force that could do you a favor?” Chloe asked.

"I didn't mean to upset you, I won't pry into your relationship with him again, I promise" he had is suspicions though, elves were stuffy, old money in his opinion, he had probably made her is consort or something. Such a waste of her beauty and youthful ambition, getting tied to a crusty old tree hugger...

"Thats troubling, that means the killer took off with it... to do gods know what. The things you can do with dark magic these days..." Humphrey shuddered at the thought. "The ear ring though, if we could get our hands on it, I might be able to find out who stole them from you, that might give us a good lead." He twirled his magnifying glass in his fingers with a thoughtful smirk. "This little thing really comes in handy." It was no blasting rod, like Detective Donovan's shillelagh, but it was something.

Humphrey whipped out a note pad and wrote down all the people Chloe named, including Karla, which he underlined twice after circling "ex-wife". "Sounds like you really need a friend, wonder why Karla isn't by your side right now?" He frowned, shaking his head. "Look, I'm on your side and I won't let you go down for something you didn't do, but right now, I don't think there's anyone you can trust but me. You can trust me, right? You shouldn't be alone right now... not until we can figure out who trying to frame you and more importantly, why. You can hide at must place, if you like." It was easier to offer her a place to stay and his protection than outright admit that from the moment he saw her, he wanted to shag her brains out.

"Yes, Detective Inspector Donovan, he's a dwarf, great guy, mean drunk, all Irish. You should see his rod, it's impressive! Why, I've seen him put a few lads through a wall with it before!" He couldn't help but burst out laughing over the look of shocked confusion on Chloe's face over his description. "His shillelagh, his enchanted walking stick?" He probably wasnt making it any better, from the look on her face. "Oh, just wait, youll see it!"

The Lar-Hum pulled up to the police station. A big, solid, brick building with a wide set of steps. Chloe and Humphrey got out of the cab and headed for the front door.

“Karla is my friend, but she is working right now.” Chloe explained. “But I understand what you are saying, I’ll sleep over at your place.” Chloe agreed. Secretly, she wanted to sleep with the centaur, it was safer, but was worried how he would react and herself. She took a deep breath “be strong, Chloe, you can control your urges” she told herself.

It was just a little after noon, and there were people everywhere. Cops, civilians, hookers, and as they got closer to the door, a group of goblins came out. The smell was bad. Chloe took a breath and held it. Goblins and personal hygiene did not travel together.

“I’d like to eat her” One goblin said to the other. Chloe knew he was not talking about oral sex!

Once inside, the station was kind of dreary. Barred windows and various waiting rooms. Humphrey knew where he was going and trotted forward with authority. He went up the stairs to the right, reaching the second floor. In the middle of the hallway, he reached a door with frosted glass. He opened it and went inside. There was a desk with an elf police woman behind it. She was beautiful, like most elves, thin and elegant.

“Lieutenant Donovan” Humphrey said.

“Do you ever see anyone else?” The police woman asked mockingly. “I’ll get him horsey”

Chloe leaned over to Humphrey and whispered “she is a real bitch”

Humphrey smile and nodded in agreement. A moment later, Lieutenant Donovan came around. He was a dwarf. Big red bread and thick arms. Wore police detective clothing and had a walking stick and a pipe in his mouth.

“Well, I’ll be a silly gnome!” Lieutenant Donovan exclaimed in a strong Irish accent. “My favorite private dick… with…” Lieutenant Donovan said with a smile as his eyes landed on Chloe. He did not say anything, he was staring at her lusty figure. Then he decided to clear up his earlier statement. “favorite Dick, I meant gum-shoe… or horse-shoe” He corrected. He took a puff on his pipe and started over “What I’m trying to say is l like women. Particularly beautiful ones” He smiled at Chloe.

"What can i do for you two?" He asked Humphrey and Chloe.

Clopping out of the cab, Humphrey looked up at the building with a sigh. "Gotta love Dwarven craftsmanship, they sure know how to build em grand, though I've never figured out why they build so large when they are so small, not that I'm complaining mind you..." He looked over at Chloe, with a smile and a nod. Was he just trying to protect her, or were his motives for having her stay with him less than noble? It was hard to deny that there was chemistry between them.

He wasn't the only one thinking about getting a taste of her though, a gang of squat little goblins were passing by, with their heads that he swore looked an awful lot like footballs full of sharp yellowed teeth. One leered at her as they passed and clicked his teeth hungerly. Humphrey reared up and stomped down once with a sharp clack of his front hooves and the little blighters went running. "Cowardly little melon heads..." he grumbled, brushing his coat flat and adjusting his tie.

While waiting for Inspector Donovan, Chloe leaned over to Humphrey and whispered “she is a real bitch” He stifled a laugh in a cough. Glad he wasn't the only one who thought so. Elves were always so haughty and stuck up, in his experience.

"Inspector Donovan! Never knew a serious one! Haha!" Humphrey got down on his knees to greet the dwarf. "Well if the horse shoe fits, I'll wear it!" He followed Donovans gaze back wow ad Chloe and shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I think she knows that, you horny old cuss. I already told her about your rod."

Humphrey hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat and standing back up. "We need access to the evidence locker for the Pana case, specifically the ear ring that was found at the scene. What do ya say, can you help an old horse out?"

Lieutenant Donovan froze for a second as his mind put the pieces together. He puffed on his pipe like he was a train going uphill. Once he figured out who Chloe was, everything fell into place. He looked back at Humphrey and said “Oh…Christ on a bike! What have you done?”

Humphrey smile got bigger “She is innocent. I can’t prove it yet, but I have a good feeling about her.” Humphrey replied.

“Your feeling is coming from between your legs, man!” Lieutenant Donovan countered. "Have some respect, you old dodger, she's standing right here, if anyone is acting like a sex crazed teenager..." Humphrey stopped himself with an exasperated sigh and shook his head, he wasn't going to argue.

“Need your help on this one. Flatfoot, you know you owe me one, right? Remember sixth and vine?" Humphrey urged the Lieutenant. Donovan thought for a moment. He did not look happy. Finally, he spoke.

“Ok… but only because you have saved my life a few times.” He grumbled and then added roughly “and the girl stays here!” He pointed at a spot with his walking stick.

Humphrey and Chloe both nodded in agreement.

Lieutenant Donovan lead Humphrey to the back of the investigator’s area. They were well out of ear shot of Chloe.

“Humphrey… That women… she suffers from a double-dose of original sin! She killed one lover, you be careful!” He warned his centaur friend.
"Her looks could kill, that's for sure, but she's no killer, Donovan, I can feel it in my gut, she's being set up. ...unless you know something I don't know? She was pretty tight lipped about her relationship with Pana... I figured he just bought her as a companion or something and she was embarrassment to admit it."

"Embarrassed?... The woman and her friend put on little sex shows" Then Donovan continued to explain about the evidence room.

“Can’t take you to the evidence room. This case is too hot. We’d both be in jail in no time.” Lieutenant Donovan said as he found the correct draw in the file cabinet. He pulled it open and located a large folder. He handed the folder to Humphrey. Humphrey started to look inside.

“The rejected photos from the crime scene. There are pictures of the earring, the headless copse, etc” Lieutenant Donovan explained as Humphrey looked at the pictures. "Be quick, I need to put the folder back" He said.

Humphrey grabbed an old news paper and laid it over top of the spread out set of photos. He opened his brief case and took out a vial of powder and poured it over the news paper. The particles skittered across the paper and literally burned copies of the images beneath the paper into the top. Perfect, if a little grainy, replicas of the photos were emblazoned into the paper. He folded it up and put it in his coat pocket, returning the photos to Donovan. "There, thank you, I know it was the least you could do." He joked. "I suppose you will be escorting us out now?"

"You can bet your huge cock on it!" Donovan agreed.

"Lieutenant Donovan, for professing your interest in women, you sure do seem to have an inordinate interest in the male anatomy..." Humphrey teased, knowing the truth. "Don't worry, I'll keep your secret, it's a promise." He was nothing if not compassionate and knew that if it got out, Donovan's career would be over in a heart beat. "My huge... you know what notwithstanding, if you could just give me one moment with that ear ring, it would really help my case AND I'd consider us square, no more life debts. What do ya say? Just one moment? Old buddy, old pal?"

"Ach! Don't be so bloody loud when ye say that! The walls might litterally have ears!" Lieutenant Donovan stammered, motioning for Humphrey to be more quiet about it. "Fine, I'll get you to the damn ear ring, but not right now, later tonight, when there's not so many eyes about! Ye damnable pain in the arse!" Humphrey just smiled and nodded, letting Donovan lead the way back out.

Reunited with Chloe, he flashed the paper with all the photos at her and shrugged, keeping the midnight visit to himself. "Let's go back to my place and sort through what we've got so far, okay?" He asked her as Donovan stood impatiently tapping his foot. "Like he said, things are pretty hot here right now, it's best we be elsewhere."

They left the building and started down the monumental steps, they were only half way down when Humphrey noticed something strange. He wore an amulet tucked into his shirt with a drop of pure source locked inside of it. It was tugging at his shirt, pulling to the right, pointing at a stone lion statue... just like the ones at the foot of the stairs!

Just as the statues eye rolled to lock on Chloe's frame, Humphrey bolted forward, putting himself between them, just in time catch it as it pounced! "Gargoyle!" He shouted as the two of them hit the ground rolled down the steps in a tangled mass of stone on flesh. Humphrey thrashed and kicked his hooves, trying to get the beast off of him, but the Gargoyle had landed atop him and reared up the slash and bite at his flank, with a roar that sounded like gravel being milled to dust. It's sharp, stoney claws tore a gash in Humphreys hind quarters, but before it could follow with its maw of teeth, a booming blast of emerald green light struck it in the head!

From the top of the stairs, Donovan stood, aiming his walking stick at the beast, a thin trail of green smoke curling up from the tip. The Gargoyle had frozen, only to fall apart into rubble a moment later, disintigrated!

When the gargoyle pounced Humphrey galloped in front of Chloe just in time. She jumped out of the way. Humphrey and the stone monster fell to the ground. Chloe sprang back up, getting ready to help Humphrey when Donovan blasted the stone creature. Killing it.

“Holy Crap!” Chloe gasped. Everything had happened so fast. She was lucky to be alive. She ran over to Humphrey.

“Your hurt!” She gasped as she ran up to him. It was his right flank. There were cuts and claw marks. Red blood welded up… but it did not look too bad. “Stay there, I’ll get medical help” She said to Humphrey.

“I’m ok… it not bad” Humphrey said as he got back up.

“He is a tough horse, missy” Donovan commented “I have help coming” he told her as he walked over to the what was left of the Gargoyle. Small amount of sand. “May the cat eat you, and may the devil eat that cat*.” Donovan cursed at the sand. (*an Irish curse)

“Thanks for saving me” Humphrey said to Donovan.

“Don’t mention it.” Donovan replied as he puffed on his pipe in thought. He said nothing for a moment as two police medical people came down the steps and applied some dressing to Humphrey’s flank. They explained to Chloe how to wash the wound and change the dressing.

As the medical people walked away Donovan looked at his friend “This is not your normal case. No peeking through peep hole, taking pictures of some guy cheating on his wife. This case is dangerous. There are people and forces at work that will kill anyone in their way. You need to be careful, my friend” Donovan warned Humphrey.

Humphrey nodded in agreement.

“Do you believe I’m innocent now, Lieutenant?” Chloe asked Donovan.

Donovan smiled “Oh, you are NOT innocent! Missy.” Donovan referring to her sexual experience “But I’m starting to think Humphrey might be right about you and the dead elf.”

Ten minutes later Humphrey and Chloe were headed by to his office/apt.

“Pull over here” Chloe told the cab driver.

“We are not at my office building yet” Humphrey pointed out.

“Trust me” Chloe replied. They both got out, and Chloe paid the driver. “Follow me” She told Humphrey as she took him to a pub called The Greasy Tusks. It was located down an alleyway. The sign hung over a sturdy door with shuddered windows.

Inside the bar was surprisingly nice. Cherry floors and a large fireplace in the back. People were spread out enjoying drinks and smoking. Standing behind the bar was a lizardman. Chloe waved to the man, he waved back. The two serving girls seemed to be sisters. One was pretty with honey blonde hair. She smiled at them and pointed to a quiet table in the corner. The other sister was tattooed, wild black hair, and dressed like she was a real slut.

“You deserve a drink for saving my life… and maybe something more” Chloe said with a sexy wink. The table was set up for Humphrey to stand, a comfortable position for a centaur, and Chloe to sit on a high stool to be even with him.

The lizardman came over to their table. “Chloe… what brings you here” The Lizardman/crocodile owner hissed.

Chloe said “Drinks, what else!! Bog, this is my friend Humphrey. He is helping me for a few days. Humphrey, this is Bog Arkisk, the owner of the place.” Chloe explained.

“Glad to meet you.” Bog replied as he shook Humphrey’s hand. “Any friend of Chloe’s is a friend of mine. What will you have?”

“Martini, extra dirty, for me” Chloe ordered.

.....

"The Greasy Tusks?" Humphrey read, curiously, this was not the kind of place he'd ever expected Chloe would hang out in. The alleyway entrance was even more alarming, but once they stepped inside it was like entering a different world, far nicer on the inside. Chloe clearly knew the bar tender and the serving girls. Humphrey relaxed a bit and let out a sigh of exhaustion. That scrape had taken more out of him than he thought.

"I could use one, thanks." He caught her wink and felt a rush of heat wash over him. He'd never been with a human before, but the idea was certainly growing on him. He smiled back and took his hat off, running his fingers through his russet brown hair.

"It's nice to meet you as well, Mister Arkisk, or do you prefer Bog?" Humphrey asked, shaking hands with the owner.


"I'd like a gin and tonic, on the rocks, please." Humphrey ordered, taking a look around.

There were a fair amount of humans here, but there were minotaurs, trolls satyrs and various other examples of the "lower" races present as well. That was the power of a stiff drink, it didn't matter what you were, alcohol brought us all together.

He turned to Chloe and smiled, nodding to the live music that had just begun.

chasing pavements

"Nice joint, cozy, they seem to know you here. Must be a regular?" There was so much he didn't know about her. "Tell me your story?" He reached out and touched her hand. "I'd really like to know." Obviously she wasn't always Pana's girl, he wondered what came before all the intrigue.

Chloe purred as she sipped at her martini. The drink was awesome... and took her on her way to becoming more relaxed. Something about a martini’s that flooded her body with fresh life. But she needed to be careful, more than two and she would not remember where she had been. The Greasy Tusks was busy as usual. She could overhear the louder patrons’ conversations as they rang out all around her. At a table to her right, two women were talking about her. They wondered if she was a supermodel and why she was with a Centaur. Chloe smiled to herself and thought “Nope, you got that wrong… I perform live sex shows for rich people and the centaur is here to protect me”

She placed the half empty glass back on the coaster and let her eyes fall on Humphrey’s handsome face. He was a good man, and was waiting for her answer with a grin on his face.

''You know...curiosity killed the cat'' Chloe said back to him.

“I’d like to know” He asked again and added “You know some dishes are so pleasurable… that although dangerous… they are worth the effort.” He had cleverly mixed metaphors for women and food together.

“Well speaking of food… shall we order?” Chloe asked.

“Chloe, stop avoiding the question” Humphrey insisted.

“Still on the clock, still investigating?” Chloe asked as she took another long sip of her martini.

“Actually no. I want to get to know you better.” Humphrey answered.

Maybe it was the alcohol, because Chloe believed his answer. She took a deep breath “My mother was a nymph and my father a human.” She answered. “that explains this” she said as she pointed to her amazing figure and beauty. “As you know, those marriages do not last. My mother was horrified by me. A mortal creature! She soon faded from existence. My father raised me, but I thought everything was his fault. Their marriage, killing my mother, and mother hating me. So, I left home as soon as I could. I was only 18 years old. Came to the big city.” Chloe explained.

“Having few skills and being a half nymph, I entered the sex business. Started as a stripper, then I met Karla and the two of us set up a private sex show business. We perform for rich people. Mostly it is pretty tame… girl-girl… or a threesome. But some customer’s want customs, or unique partners. We have limits, but we’ll do most things the customer wants. Made good money and the work was fun. Nymph’s love sex. Anyhow, that was how I got involved with Sontar.” Chloe said.

She paused and looked into his face. “I hope you don’t think less of me.” Chloe asked as tears started to form in her eyes. For some reason, she really liked him.

Humphrey drew in a breath of surprise at the revelation that Chloe was part nymph, his eyes dilated as he perused her figure once more. She sure had a knock out body, that was for certain. He was holding his breath as she told him her story. How could such a beauty blame herself for things beyond her control? His heart went out to her, it didn't matter what she did for a living, she knew what she was doing and that just made her more attractive to him.

"Money, sex and fun, sounds like she's living the dream... But then, why does she look so sad?" Humphrey wondered to himself. Was she worried what he would think of her? He let out his breath and slowly leaned in to kiss her cherry red lips. He wanted her from the very start but now, he knew he had to have her, tonight!