Tips on writing a sex scene without romance involved?

Every time I've written sex, there has always been some love between the participants. But my latest idea involves an empress who has just married her chosen suitor, she finds him mildly attractive, but there's no love between them yet (they do eventually bond together but that's irrelevant). They are taking each other to bed for the sole purpose of creating an heir, just duty, little to no emotion involved.

Of course there probably won't be passionate kissing and the empress is unlikely to orgasm, but other than that I'm at a loss on how to handle this. If there's any good examples of something like this, feel free to link me to them. Otherwise any tips? Appreciated.

Read, read, read what others have done and form your own writing styles/techniques from your own research. I'm pretty much into advising people just not bothering to write if they have to do it by committee. There are all sorts of group hobbies; writing isn't one of them.

KeithD said:

Read, read, read what others have done and form your own writing styles/techniques from your own research. I'm pretty much into advising people just not bothering to write if they have to do it by committee. There are all sorts of group hobbies; writing isn't one of them.

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I'm willing to read examples if they are provided, this kind of thing is difficult to search for.

But if you really want to be a writer of this, you'll manage to do the research. The file here is keyword searchable, and finding one author who resonates with you on the topic is likely to give you more by the author to read. Yes, people here can (and quite likely will and you'll consider yourself helped by that) make recommendations, but that's committee work, not fully your own work. You won't really fully be a writer.

But granted that might be enough for you, and there likely are folks here who will offer you the crutch well enough.

You asked for tips, though, and that's my tip. Dig in and do your own research, conceptualization, learning the craft, and writing.

DragonCat91 said:

Of course there probably won't be passionate kissing and the empress is unlikely to orgasm, but other than that I'm at a loss on how to handle this. If there's any good examples of something like this, feel free to link me to them. Otherwise any tips? Appreciated.

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You can write it as a completely non-erotic, unimpassioned event, or they could start out that way and get hot. I'd go for the latter. Unimpassioned sex might make a pretty dull read and if I were writing it that way then I might simply allude to the event rather than expecting the reader to plod through intentionally dull sex.

Watch porn

KeithD said:

Read, read, read what others have done and form your own writing styles/techniques from your own research. I'm pretty much into advising people just not bothering to write if they have to do it by committee. There are all sorts of group hobbies; writing isn't one of them.

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This. Nothing will teach you better than seeing other people do it. Even if they do it wrong, you'll feel it and you can learn lessons

KeithD said:

But if you really want to be a writer of this, you'll manage to do the research. The file here is keyword searchable, and finding one author who resonates with you on the topic is likely to give you more by the author to read. Yes, people here can (and quite likely will and you'll consider yourself helped by that) make recommendations, but that's committee work, not fully your own work. You won't really fully be a writer.

But granted that might be enough for you, and there likely are folks here who will offer you the crutch well enough.

You asked for tips, though, and that's my tip. Dig in and do your own research, conceptualization, learning the craft, and writing.

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I feel that you think I am inexperienced at writing. I am not. I admit I could do some digging but just telling me "go do research" isn't helping.

NotWise said:

You can write it as a completely non-erotic, unimpassioned event, or they could start out that way and get hot. I'd go for the latter. Unimpassioned sex might make a pretty dull read and if I were writing it that way then I might simply allude to the event rather than expecting the reader to plod through intentionally dull sex.

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This is a good point and slightly more helpful, they do eventually bond together like I said but maybe not that quickly. They're both all about their royal duties, kinda stick up their ass nobles.

To give people more of an idea of what I'm looking for advice on:

Foreplay. What would it look like if there's no true love yet? Would it be too crass for them to be touching each other down there? I guess it could depend. Is it realistic for him to get hard just by seeing his prize in front of him naked (he had to compete for her affections with like 3 others) or should he need more stimulation/touching? Likewise, could she get wet enough to comfortably take him inside her by seeing him naked and aroused and looking into the ice blue eyes she finds so attractive? He's average sized (about 6 inches) if that matters. And she still has her hymen, she's a fairly young inexperienced empress, yeah.

Cat, the mechanics of sex still have to be the same: arousal, lubrication, erection, intercourse. Without passion and intimacy between them, everything is going to be all very awkward, especially if she's still a virgin, so you might want to ponder how they get around all of that.

Maybe there's some tiny moment, some little thing, where one of them sees the other for the first time as a person, and build the scene up from that? If you don't find some connection, then it's going to be cold and mechanical, and who wants to read about that? Find a little something.

I don't know that reading other writers' "little somethings" is going to help though - you probably need to find your own. Good luck .

DragonCat91 said:

I feel that you think I am inexperienced at writing.

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Not that exactly. I think anyone who isn't comfortable enough to write an aspect of a plotline on their own to the extent of having to ask for committee help isn't experienced enough at writing (or interested enough to stand on their own as a writer) and should just be writing something else or having the courage to write into the topic themselves without the crutch.


(And now in your response to NotWise, you seem to be moving into that old trap of "what do people want? What's the golden answer?) There are a million ways to skin the cat. Choose one that you like and just do it. And again, if you are into territory that you aren't moved by the best of choices you come up with yourself, you probably should be writing something else--or golfing, or weaving, or going to the movies.

Are you really asking for tips or someone to produce a magic pill for you?

That said, I've seen an ebook launched at Amazon recently (and read it) that hits what you say you're looking for directly--it's about multiple women who want to be pregnant and jump into bed with multiple men to get there, with various fallout results. (It's bi, though, so there are other bedding combinations for other purposes--but all for sex that delivers) The sex in it is graphic, though, and is sex is sex is sex--fun for those involved and with the purpose of pregnancy for the women (and some of the men). You'd have to buy it, though, and it isn't here, so you'd have to PM me for a link. I trust it would deliver on one writer's view on good sex not requiring loving commitment--and, as you specified--including examples of doing it specifically for procreation.

DragonCat91 said:

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Is it realistic for him to get hard just by seeing his prize in front of him naked (he had to compete for her affections with like 3 others) or should he need more stimulation/touching? Likewise, could she get wet enough to comfortably take him inside her by seeing him naked and aroused and looking into the ice blue eyes she finds so attractive?

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Do you know much about men and women? If you're with someone in a situation where 'it can happen' the body will respond.

I think you're overthinking. Its sex, we've all done it(I'm assuming) and many of us have done it with people where love wasn't involved, just a good time.

If you can't come up with a simple sex scene, you might want to rethink writing in this genre.

Well okay then...

I am overthinking, I see that now. I guess this is the last time I ask for tips because all I'm getting is "you're overthinking" and "do your own research".

DragonCat91 said:

Well okay then...

I am overthinking, I see that now. I guess this is the last time I ask for tips because all I'm getting is "you're overthinking" and "do your own research".

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Not really true, is it? I offered to link you to a directly relevant (I believe) crutch. And it is, after all, your problem others are expending effort on. If you get pissy now, that will essentially be your problem too.

DragonCat91 said:

Foreplay. What would it look like if there's no true love yet? Would it be too crass for them to be touching each other down there? I guess it could depend. Is it realistic for him to get hard just by seeing his prize in front of him naked (he had to compete for her affections with like 3 others) or should he need more stimulation/touching? Likewise, could she get wet enough to comfortably take him inside her by seeing him naked and aroused and looking into the ice blue eyes she finds so attractive? He's average sized (about 6 inches) if that matters. And she still has her hymen, she's a fairly young inexperienced empress, yeah.

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I don't think the visual would be that big a deal. Even without a romantic relationship, they'd still be anticipating sex. And you know that anticipation can be very exciting.

DragonCat91 said:

Well okay then...

I am overthinking, I see that now. I guess this is the last time I ask for tips because all I'm getting is "you're overthinking" and "do your own research".

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I don't think the advice you've been given has been out of line. I believe you're overthinking it.

First time/Non-romance sex scenes are the easiest to write in my opinion. Think of meeting someone at the bar. Things click, you leave the bar to go home. Both of you are excited, because you know something is going to happen. At home you're making out, getting undressed, you're naked together. There's all this excitement because you haven't been with them before. That's easy to write. Just think about the situation.

Let’s take another tack, Cat.

What you are describing, if I understand it correctly, was essentially the norm until not all that long ago. The concept of boy and girl getting to know each other, falling in love and getting married - in that order - would’ve been laughable. Particularly at the higher social levels, marriages were arranged to produce heirs, amass and conserve property and gain allies; love had nothing to do with it. The bride would be escorted to the groom’s city, a marriage ceremony would be performed, perhaps without the two having actually met before that moment. That night, his peers would strip him and put him into bed, following which her ladies in waiting would do the same for her. The next morning, if she was supposed to be a virgin, there was a strong expectation of blood on the sheets. Huzzah, another successful marriage.

We today expect romance first. Back then (and still today in some societies which have retained arranged marriages), romance, love and such followed marriage. Most marriages worked. Moreover, there are many records of married couples getting very fond of each other, falling deeply in love.

Until Victorian times, both bride and groom would have a pretty good idea of what was supposed to happen in the wedding bed. He might well have been with other women, so there was unlikely to be the farcical ignorance our great-grandparents were supposed to bring to their marriages, poor dears.

Focus on your scene. An empress regnant would presumably have had to agree to the relationship, so it would not be rape in any form. You of course as author get to choose if she (and he) is a virgin. In any case, they both would know what is expected of them in bed. Given her status, it is likely that they have got to know each other and that at least some fondness or friendliness exists.

The mechanics of their mating are unlikely to be much different than anybody else’s. Kisses are natural to H. sapiens. There would be fondling. Men are attracted to breasts and, if not done crudely, women generally derive pleasure from such caresses. Female lubrication (hopefully) occurs and penetration follows.

Now of course, you are writing fantasy. You can choose her to become wildly excited and polyorgasmic. Alternatively, he’s clumsy and selfish and she just lies there and thinks of England, so to speak. Maybe she has him executed, mantis-style, and replaced with whoever’s next. It’s entirely your call.

Writing is basically making stuff up.

Use your imagination. For this, id imagine it would be more primal. Lots of grabbing, hard thrusts, etc...

Sex acts are the same but the details, description and dialogue need to be fixed.

You ask for a formula for good sex stories. There is only one good formula and that is to constantly change. That subordinates everything else. It's like a marriage, sex should be fresh and interesting. To use a formula you have been given demonstrates that the story is old and tired before it is writtem. The divorce from the readership will likely precede the marriage. Asking for a formula demonstrates to me that you don't value the readers of erotica, you underestimate them and that is extremely sad. It takes a lot to write a good erotic story.

In my experience, sex is sex is sex. Romance is a horse of a different colour.

People who are romantically involved do have sex. But it's not that different from the sex that people who are simply 'doing it' have.

If you want to write about two people (or more) having sex without any romantic overlay, write about two people (or more) having sex without any romantic overlay. At some stage, you're probably going to want to have Tab A going into Slot B (or some other suitable orifice). Other than that ... what do you need to know?

The reply from Tarnished Penny is a good one, and constructive too, if this is about giving advice or helping out fellow authors?
The scene presented here offers up a lot of choices for the author to consider. Will it be an awkward and uncomfortable encounter that has to be somehow overcome as the story progresses, or is the sex the moment that catalyses something new, closer, more loving in their relationship? Are they both virgins? Is she afraid? Is he nervous (since he is the one that has to perform to completion, so to speak, to lead to any possibility of conceiving an heir)? Do they know what to expect, or is the whole thing a bit of a mystery to them, and therefore a voyage of discovery type-thing? Where do you want the tension, or the drama, or the unravelling of a story thread to be in this scene? Whose mind are you putting the reader in, to share in their thoughts?
There are a few history books and articles out there about sex and society if you're wanting some sort of 'real' grounding for your story - just a few to set you off: https://books.google.com.au/books/a...in_England_1.html?id=ftoaAAAAYAAJ&redir_esc=y
https://www.history.ac.uk/reviews/review/497
http://notchesblog.com/2014/07/29/c...-the-problem-of-understanding-past-sex-lives/
Google can be your friend! Try it out and good luck

Loveless sex is not passionless. Sex always involves passion of one kind or another, even if it is purely physical. Just because your scene is devoid of romance there will be other emotions at play. Try to draw those out in your writing.

A few ideas:

- Perhaps your characters see this act as some kind of service for the greater good. They hope to produce an heir for the people and are not concerned with themselves and want they want in all this. This selflessness binds them and with time they develop a mutual respect for each other that is somehow different from the usual romance one reads about.

- It could be that the male character was chosen for this role on the basis of his rank or standing in society rather than any physical qualities. However, during the course of their intimate relations the Empress is impressed to discover he has other unexpected talents as well. Although they don't fall in love with each other, she is delighted with her choice of partner simply for the degree of pleasure he is able to bring her.

- Crippled by nerves at the task in hand, perhaps the male character struggles to perform. How does the Empress respond to his inability to become erect for her? Maybe she gets cross with him... or perhaps she goes to great lengths to sooth his worries and bring him to arousal? She needs him to impregnate her and will do whatever is required to get that to happen.

These are just a few thoughts about how you could bring some storyline into this sex scene and make the characters come to life. For me, erotic fiction doesn't always have to be romantic. However, it must always have plot.

I write a variety of stories. Some sex scenes are sweetness and light and romantic, others in stories where the characters aren't very nice people are not.

For example, in one of my stories a spoiled, selfish and vindictive bride-to-be seduces her fiancé's loser younger brother, despite the fact that she cannot stand him. There is no love there, no like even, she does it because her fiancé calls her out on some of her bullshit, and she has a nasty streak to her.

So if you want to write stories about sex without romance, my suggestion is to write them about people who aren't very nice and have sex with other people for all the wrong reasons.

DragonCat91 said:

Every time I've written sex, there has always been some love between the participants. But my latest idea involves an empress who has just married her chosen suitor, she finds him mildly attractive, but there's no love between them yet (they do eventually bond together but that's irrelevant). They are taking each other to bed for the sole purpose of creating an heir, just duty, little to no emotion involved.

Of course there probably won't be passionate kissing and the empress is unlikely to orgasm, but other than that I'm at a loss on how to handle this. If there's any good examples of something like this, feel free to link me to them. Otherwise any tips? Appreciated.

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Just because they're not in love doesn't mean there's no emotion involved.

In most cultures sex is intimately connected to power dynamics. In many cultures, for instance, penetrating somebody else is seen as a dominant/high-status act, likewise being on top during sex, likewise receiving oral sex. Being penetrated, being underneath, giving oral, those are seen as submissive/low-status acts.

So... how does her culture view sex? What does having sex with this guy mean for her power (and his), and how does she handle that?

If she's in an Elizabeth I sort of situation, a female ruler in a male-dominated society, then marrying this guy is a risk to her status; as her husband, he might start getting the idea that he's in charge. If she's worried about that, then she may decide to assert her status in the bedroom.

On the other hand, if she's not concerned about him taking over, and she wants to put him at ease, she might let him be on top (or whatever) to show him that there's going to be some give and take in their relationship.

Or if you're still uncertain what they'd do, why not use that uncertainty? Maybe she's confused too, and has to figure it out as she goes, with or without his help.

Write her as she is. But for loveless (not feelingless) sex hit the button below and checkout my best selling series White Trash. Or sr71plt, jbj/noirtrash or any number of stories you can quickly scan here. It’s not that hard to do.

Neither love nor romance is required to make it erotic. If you intend to downplay the feelings between them, then focus on the feelings of the empress. Focus on sensations -- touch, taste, smell, sight, sounds. Perhaps she's inexperienced, so you can focus on the novelty to her of the sensations.