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Distance Domination-Support Thread

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Kailey_86 said:
i need to say something and this thread seems to be the appropriate place. i miss Him, i miss her...long distance relationships and living a double life is so hard. if i go a day without speaking to Him, i end up feeling lonely, separated, and disconnected. Is this unhealthy? i don't know. i need to live without His constant support though, i know that. i think it would be different if i were with Him physically though. If i were able to be more submissive, i think i would feel better. i am a slave to the very core of my being. That's it. Hands down. i need to live that life. Talking to Him is the only way to feel connected to what i crave so badly. i NEED it. It still seems so far away though. There are so many steps left. Will i ever be fulfilled? Will my desire for complete 100% domination and submission ever be satiated? *sigh*
Click to expand...

Distance is to relationships what air is to fire..it extinguishes the small and kindles the great! It is completely normal to feel attached to the core and feel miserable when you do NOT get proof of physical presence.

With time and training you will transcend the mental aspects of this relationship and a mental bond develops when you always feel the presence and do NOT need a physical presence/call/phone or even an email to feel the presence. The absence will be like a session with LONG 'play session' with orgasm denial and the meeting/phone/email will be the "Big O" :)

Good luck
--
Boobsqueeezer
 
I was wondering if anyone else posts on any other D/s forums. I'm registered with collarme, and it never fails to amaze me, the amount of pm's I get from Dominants who are full of insults and degredations.

Heaven forbid you dont bow down and kiss their feet, or want to call them and talk dirty to them within the first 10 minutes of private message. As if I would want to just roll over and submit to someone I dont even know, psssssh. Amen for Lit, and the good people on it. (good for the most part anyhow)

Oh yeah, and dont even bother mentioning that you are in a long distance D/s relationship. Why do people feel justified in saying that isnt a REAL D/s relationship to begin with. I'm sorry but if the feelings are there then the relationship is a real one. How the hell does one have a fake relationship anyhow.


Rant over, sorry.
 
ChromeCollar said:
I was wondering if anyone else posts on any other D/s forums. I'm registered with collarme, and it never fails to amaze me, the amount of pm's I get from Dominants who are full of insults and degredations.

Heaven forbid you dont bow down and kiss their feet, or want to call them and talk dirty to them within the first 10 minutes of private message. As if I would want to just roll over and submit to someone I dont even know, psssssh. Amen for Lit, and the good people on it. (good for the most part anyhow)

Oh yeah, and dont even bother mentioning that you are in a long distance D/s relationship. Why do people feel justified in saying that isnt a REAL D/s relationship to begin with. I'm sorry but if the feelings are there then the relationship is a real one. How the hell does one have a fake relationship anyhow.


Rant over, sorry.
Click to expand...

i know what you mean, and it's not only on Collarme that people believe 'online' D/s isn't real, it's everywhere, even here and especially Yahoo
i am registered with Collarme also, though haven't been for long i'm not quite sure who some people think they are in tellin someone else their relationship is not real simply because 'they' would not live their life that way, ya know? lol now you're gonna get ME started *giggles*
 
ChromeCollar said:
I was wondering if anyone else posts on any other D/s forums. I'm registered with collarme, and it never fails to amaze me, the amount of pm's I get from Dominants who are full of insults and degredations.

Heaven forbid you dont bow down and kiss their feet, or want to call them and talk dirty to them within the first 10 minutes of private message. As if I would want to just roll over and submit to someone I dont even know, psssssh. Amen for Lit, and the good people on it. (good for the most part anyhow)

Oh yeah, and dont even bother mentioning that you are in a long distance D/s relationship. Why do people feel justified in saying that isnt a REAL D/s relationship to begin with. I'm sorry but if the feelings are there then the relationship is a real one. How the hell does one have a fake relationship anyhow.


Rant over, sorry.
Click to expand...

I used to but now I don't because most of them didn't have much going on. This is the most active forum on BDSM I've found.

Collarme had lots of PM's but most of them were all about what they wanted. It didn't matter that I wasn't available or wasn't what they wanted, people still sent PM's to try to get what they wanted. It was odd to me and a total waste of time for everyone involved unless they read my profile, processed what it said and didn't demand/ask/beg for something else.

*shakes head*

Fury :rose:
 
ChromeCollar said:
I was wondering if anyone else posts on any other D/s forums. I'm registered with collarme, and it never fails to amaze me, the amount of pm's I get from Dominants who are full of insults and degredations.

Heaven forbid you dont bow down and kiss their feet, or want to call them and talk dirty to them within the first 10 minutes of private message. As if I would want to just roll over and submit to someone I dont even know, psssssh. Amen for Lit, and the good people on it. (good for the most part anyhow)

Oh yeah, and dont even bother mentioning that you are in a long distance D/s relationship. Why do people feel justified in saying that isnt a REAL D/s relationship to begin with. I'm sorry but if the feelings are there then the relationship is a real one. How the hell does one have a fake relationship anyhow.


Rant over, sorry.
Click to expand...
I actually just recently signed up with collarme and I got a lot of pms the first night I was on... even without filling out a profile... oy. I really just joined it for the boards, but I have yet to test them out...
 
This is great

I really find this great:

My Master is going to call me at random points of the night tonight and sex me over the phone (pfft, you know you do it too- and you like it! ;) I'm not ashamed I love it.), and... yeh, I'm usually only allowed to cum once or twice a night. >_> So, I'm so loving this. I've had three already and on the third one I was so surprised when I wasn't even close and he told me to cum and then I just came. I was like ... wtf? but I loved it :D ..I just had to share that with you guys, sorry if I mentally scarred anyone or if anyone is now blind :p

anyone else have anything... like a game or something they play with their Master/slave? I wanna see if I can ask my Master if we can play too! ^_^ I'm feeling giggly tonight.


and, I've never heard of collarme, but I have to go see it now. :p
 
I doubt hearing you talk about multiple orgasms is going to scar or blind anyone here on Lit. =/
 
boobsqueeezer said:
2 yrs in r/l and terminated due to some personal reasons and then almost away from lifestyle for an year or so and the 'call' was too strong that I decided to come back and explore the o/l scenario just within the last month!

Now I am with My own Online slave....not collared as yet but we are eager to get along well before taking commitment to the next level, which will be soon enough.


For the same reason I do NOT know if I will be here often for the time-being but possibly I shall try to...

I welcome all the new Distant D/s to the forums...chrome and lil are doing their part to keep the posters encouraged and my special regards to them.

I must thank every contributor to this thread...for pouring in your valuble thoughts and feelings.

Keep going OPYLs/opyls (Online Pick Your Label/online pick your label !!! :) )

--
Boobsqueeezer
Click to expand...


I am glad you found what you were looking for Boob. Please keep us informed, and dont forget to share the sordid details! *waggles eyebrows*
 
ChromeCollar said:
I was wondering if anyone else posts on any other D/s forums. I'm registered with collarme, and it never fails to amaze me, the amount of pm's I get from Dominants who are full of insults and degredations.

Heaven forbid you dont bow down and kiss their feet, or want to call them and talk dirty to them within the first 10 minutes of private message. As if I would want to just roll over and submit to someone I dont even know, psssssh. Amen for Lit, and the good people on it. (good for the most part anyhow)

Oh yeah, and dont even bother mentioning that you are in a long distance D/s relationship. Why do people feel justified in saying that isnt a REAL D/s relationship to begin with. I'm sorry but if the feelings are there then the relationship is a real one. How the hell does one have a fake relationship anyhow.


Rant over, sorry.
Click to expand...

I'm registered on collarme (as Rayne58). My profile says I am collared and that Master and I are getting married but I still get messages from hopeful "doms" :rolleyes: LOL all one of them said was HI SUB (just like that, in caps) - I mean, you send someone a message at least give them something to respond to!

Master Gil_T2 and I met here on Lit and we've now been r/l for almost 3 years. We spent a year talking online - friends first then more. I knew next to nothing about BDSM but have always been submissive in life and relationships. I spent our time before we met reading and researching, and asking Him questions :) We did not do much "play" online although I called Him Master and He called me His slut....we did do a couple of little sessions on the phone mainly for me to get a "feel" for it but Master is a "hands on" kind of guy ;)

I have nothing against online relationships, after all that is how we met. But I see it as a means to an end. For me there has to be r/l interaction and plans for one or the other to move/relocate, otherwise imo it's just "playing". I realise a lot of BDSM is in the mind but I need to feel the flogger rather than imagine it :)
 
Bandit58 said:
I'm registered on collarme (as Rayne58). My profile says I am collared and that Master and I are getting married but I still get messages from hopeful "doms" :rolleyes: LOL all one of them said was HI SUB (just like that, in caps) - I mean, you send someone a message at least give them something to respond to!

Master Gil_T2 and I met here on Lit and we've now been r/l for almost 3 years. We spent a year talking online - friends first then more. I knew next to nothing about BDSM but have always been submissive in life and relationships. I spent our time before we met reading and researching, and asking Him questions :) We did not do much "play" online although I called Him Master and He called me His slut....we did do a couple of little sessions on the phone mainly for me to get a "feel" for it but Master is a "hands on" kind of guy ;)

I have nothing against online relationships, after all that is how we met. But I see it as a means to an end. For me there has to be r/l interaction and plans for one or the other to move/relocate, otherwise imo it's just "playing". I realise a lot of BDSM is in the mind but I need to feel the flogger rather than imagine it :)
Click to expand...


I agree with you about the means to an end. I can tolerate it as long as I know I am working towards something in reality at the end. I even enjoy it to an extent. Some people have brought up having ones own time and privacy while being in long distance, and I agree with that. In the end though, I crave and need the physical. I think everyone might to an extent. The phone and your own hand can only do so much. Many people though dont have the opinion however, as I've come to discover.

I had one yesterday tell me that seeing as how my Master has not collared me yet, I was not his belonging and free property for any Dom looking for a new slave. As you can guess, I did not even dignify that with a response.
 
whoa.. I just got swamped on collarme. *rofl* Like 50 doms are all like "Pm me, slave" and I'm like "bugger off, I have a Master" ^_^
 
myinnerslut said:
hate to jump back to previous discussions, but how does everyone deal with not being allowed to cum.

?!?!?!?!what do you do to un-horny yourself?!?!?!?!

i feel like i am perpetually losing the right to cum. ever since he found our how much i hated this punishment, and due to the fact that its an easy punishment to give becuase of our distance, its been the only one he's used. the longest hes ever given me was 2 weeks at a time, but since its been the only thing hes used to punish me lately, i feel like im always horny. today i earned myself 13 days by being bratty, and it was so not worth it.
Click to expand...


I would say stop being so bratty to earn yourself such a punishment. Easier said than done I suppose, but once you stop testing his authority you will find the relationship alot easier for both involved.
 
ChromeCollar said:
I would say stop being so bratty to earn yourself such a punishment. Easier said than done I suppose, but once you stop testing his authority you will find the relationship alot easier for both involved.
Click to expand...


stop being so bratty is a given... along with stop being plain stupid, which i was also guilty of. it was the first time ive gotten to be with him in weeks, and i did something, just to see if he was paying attention. he didnt do anything, so i relaxed more then i should have, made stupid mistakes, being overly playful and energetic when he was resting, and acted like more of a brat then i should have (stupid, stupid, stupid). at the end of the afternoon, he told me he had been counting my mistakes. all 13 of them. i want to be the good girl he tells me i am sometimes. i just keep adding up the stupid mistakes untill the punishment is so much bigger then anyone intended. im not proud of my behavior, and i truly regret how i acted. i knew better, i just didnt listen to my own reason.

so the question stands.. how does one make themselves not horny...
 
CutieMouse said:
You don't.

If the punishment is orgasm denial, and being in a state of arousal makes the orgasm denial all the worse, and the point of the orgasm denial is to teach you to be patient/mind your manners/think of HIS comfort, needs, desires, interests, before your own, then why are you trying to make your punishment less unpleasant, and thus, less effective?
Click to expand...

hadnt thought of it that way. your right. im not thinking.
 
Bandit58 said:
I'm registered on collarme (as Rayne58). My profile says I am collared and that Master and I are getting married but I still get messages from hopeful "doms" :rolleyes: LOL all one of them said was HI SUB (just like that, in caps) - I mean, you send someone a message at least give them something to respond to!

Master Gil_T2 and I met here on Lit and we've now been r/l for almost 3 years. We spent a year talking online - friends first then more. I knew next to nothing about BDSM but have always been submissive in life and relationships. I spent our time before we met reading and researching, and asking Him questions :) We did not do much "play" online although I called Him Master and He called me His slut....we did do a couple of little sessions on the phone mainly for me to get a "feel" for it but Master is a "hands on" kind of guy ;)

I have nothing against online relationships, after all that is how we met. But I see it as a means to an end. For me there has to be r/l interaction and plans for one or the other to move/relocate, otherwise imo it's just "playing". I realise a lot of BDSM is in the mind but I need to feel the flogger rather than imagine it :)
Click to expand...

I do agree that online should only be a beging. There should be plans for a meet, otherwize the relationship would feel like it was standing still, and perhaps non existant and the latter may be more true than a party would like. But relocation is not always an easy task and not one to rush into either. Sometimes I think our relationship is moving at a snails pace, but as he says day to day life has to come first. My love, my Master, is an ocean away, and to move there is a great deal harder than packing my things and jumping in a car. There are forms and such, not to mention the costly price of it all, and neither of us are in a position to carry such cost. And, as he also tells me, he must settle himself before thinking of taking care of me....Of course all this logic does not settle my heart.

I do wish to feel his hand apon me, but I do feel the flogger. By my hand he takes such pleasures, and by the hands of friends.

Perhaps it's my mood that causes me to feel offence to sujesting that a couple is mearly "playing" because plans have not been made for them to relocate closer to each other, but I have tried to express myself as civilly as possible.

Besides, it would not be wize to plan a relocation before even a first meet.
 
ChromeCollar said:
I would say stop being so bratty to earn yourself such a punishment. Easier said than done I suppose, but once you stop testing his authority you will find the relationship alot easier for both involved.
Click to expand...

i have to agree with this, though sometimes, if you're like me, you just open your mouth and then even when you know you're wrong and you should STFU, you just keep going, digging that whole deeper until He HAS to do something to correct the bahavior. i have to say i have not done this in a very long time. i told Master NO one time..and never ever again. luckily for me, He likes to make me cum too much to make that a punishment, so i dont' know the answer to the original question, He's only denied me cumming ONE time..and it was not complete denial, it was just i couldn't cum 'with' Him, i had to wait until the scene was over, and that was hard enough in itself i couldn't imagine total denial *shudders*
 
CutieMouse said:
You don't.

If the punishment is orgasm denial, and being in a state of arousal makes the orgasm denial all the worse, and the point of the orgasm denial is to teach you to be patient/mind your manners/think of HIS comfort, needs, desires, interests, before your own, then why are you trying to make your punishment less unpleasant, and thus, less effective?
Click to expand...

very well stated. i mean it's kind of the point of the punishment. punishment is not supposed to be fun. but to me it seems like maybe THAT particular punishment is not working so well if you continue the behavior that gets you that punishment
 
captians wench I apologise if anything I wrote upset you. From what I have read of your relationship you do not intend for it to remain online. You have plans to meet and I'm assuming that if things work out well that there will be relocation at some stage.

What I am not understanding are those who for whatever reason choose to do online only, with no plans to ever meet or have a relationship in r/l. For me, and I am speaking only for myself, that would not be enough.

FWIW I moved to another country, a decision not taken lightly considering I left behind my family and was coming to live in a city where before I was strictly a country girl. We planned a 3 week stay in His home (because of His health He cannot travel). By the end of the first week we knew I would be coming back permanently. It took 6 weeks to organise my move. Luckily Australia and New Zealand have an arrangement whereby there is free movement between them, the only thing necessary is a stamp in your passport and you can stay as long as you like. I am hoping to eventually have dual citizenship (it will be much easier once I am married to an Australian) :)
 
myinnerslut said:
how would i bring this up? Sir has told me that as long as i despise this, it will remain my punishment. but i just did the same thing wrong three times in a row, recieving this as a punishment each time.
the thing i did wrong was forgot to wear my collar in a certain situation. each time i honestly forgot. i would really like to not forget anymore, as i hate dissapointing him by not remebering. the punishment SIr gives me for forgetting, while truly uncomfortable, unwanted, and unliked (and deserved as remebering to wear my collar in that situation is a rule of his) does not seem to be helping me to change my behavor at all, despite the fact that i really would like to remeber.
i was wondering if another punishment would be more effective, but i dont know how to approach this topic with Sir without it looking like i am simply trying to get an easier punishment.


(forgetting to wear my collar was counted in my 13 orgasm denial)
Click to expand...


i'm not sure how exactly to bring this up to Him, other than be honest and pretty much say what you just said here. that you don't think the punishment is helping to correct the beahvior. being honest with Him is the way to go, obviously He is the one who has the last say but maybe you saying something will help Him to see that it's not helping to correct you. i have forgotten to wear my collar three times. and i did HONESTLY forget to wear it, i'm never to take it off, except to sleep and shower. the way i started to remember is that i put it on my computer desk with my keys, ect.. that i would be taking with me the next day, that way it was right there and i had NO excuse to forget it. Master said 'you remembered to put on your shirt today didn't you?' i said yes He says 'and your pants and shoes?' me: yes....well the collar should be just as important as any of those...and He's right..i have not forgotten it since i started putting it in a place that is right in front of me. i can't leave my house without seeing it sitting there..this might help you as well. i don't know..
 
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