SassySheDevil
Moody Roller Coaster
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2006
- Posts
- 41,596
Long read ahead. But worth it. 
Why do we as women have such a hard time being kind to ourselves? We can look at another woman who has the same exact flaw that we ourselves think we do and then tell her that she is beautiful. For some reason, we can easily find beauty in any other person, but when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we tear what we see apart. We criticize ourselves day after day for the things that make us unique. Would we really be any happier if we all looked the same?
Magazines and society have told us what beauty is for so long that we have begun to think that if we don't adhere to that standard we are not good enough. That anything less than perfection is unacceptable. Then, we take this to new levels and become jealous or envious of what other women have, or look like. We tear ourselves down because these other women have bigger breasts, or thinner thighs, or blue eyes. Maybe it's her height, or pretty nose, or smaller feet that make us insecure. There are always things we wish we had, and that allows envy to grow and fester within ourselves to the point we lash out at others. We project our own insecurities on this other person, giving way to fear, envy, resentment, rage, anxiety, and overall bad self-esteem.
How would things be different if instead, we built each other up? Rather than letting our insecurities tear us down, what if we set out to understand that each and every one of us has insecurities? What if we could instead help that person feel better about looking in their own mirror? We don't know what that person goes through every day, or what her struggles are. Sometimes, behind a beautiful smile, there lies a shattered soul. We assume because she has something we don't that she must then be happier. That is not always true. Each of us have different demons.
When I met Erotically_Yours. I said to myself, “This woman will never talk to me. She is beautiful. Look at her body. It's perfect. She is tall, thin, and has great boobs.” I listed all the things that I thought were perfect. But as I got to know her, I found out that she has just as many insecurities as I do. Only different. She envied me for my blue eyes and because I was loving, forgiving, and compassionate. She reminded me that being liked for beauty alone can feel just as empty. So we talked about ways to change our negative thoughts. How to bring out the positive attributes in each other. The difference between then and now is rather than be jealous or envious of her, I now understand her. She now understands me also. Because of this, we are now able to support each other in a meaningful way. We can remind one another that beauty is so much more than just what we see in a mirror.
Working together and loving one another provides less stress amongst each other. It holds us accountable for our actions. I don't feel like I need to be nasty to another woman because she has something I don't. I now realize that is my envy coming out, not something she did. When you surround yourself with positive energy, it rubs off on you. Let's face it. We all like having that one girlfriend (Or many) that we can talk to about the ugliest sides of ourselves. We know that person loves us no matter what.
So EY and I talked about creating a thread that would allow us as women to post about the things we think are our flaws so the other people can laugh at us and tell us we're crazy. But we'll also post the things we love about ourselves. We've worked hard to achieve something and we're proud of it. We thought this would be fun to do in a unique way because like myself, I'm horrible with words, stringing them together and finding the perfect ones to describe what I want to say is always hard. As it stands, I'll send this to EY to have her rework it and add punctuation.
So we thought that if we made a picture collage with quotes next to it that it would be fun, exciting, and hopefully inspirational as well. We would love to have you all join in on this. Make your own. You can use your own words, or quotes you feel have meaning to you. This first poster that I made has several volunteers who agreed to send me pictures of their body that they felt was their biggest flaw.
However, I do want to remind you all, this isn't just about flaws. We want to see your beauty. It would be amazing to see how happy you are with the things you love about yourself also. Remember, positive energy, rubs off. So rub your positive energy on us. We are all beautiful. Lets prove that.
Men. I know that I worded this mostly for the women and I apologize for that. I know that many men have the same issues. Their own insecurities. I never realized that until I joined Lit. I always just assumed men didn't care as much. Now I know that to be untrue. So, I really don't want to leave you guys out. I would like to invite you to do the same thing, please join in and allow us all to build you up as well.
Why do we as women have such a hard time being kind to ourselves? We can look at another woman who has the same exact flaw that we ourselves think we do and then tell her that she is beautiful. For some reason, we can easily find beauty in any other person, but when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we tear what we see apart. We criticize ourselves day after day for the things that make us unique. Would we really be any happier if we all looked the same?
Magazines and society have told us what beauty is for so long that we have begun to think that if we don't adhere to that standard we are not good enough. That anything less than perfection is unacceptable. Then, we take this to new levels and become jealous or envious of what other women have, or look like. We tear ourselves down because these other women have bigger breasts, or thinner thighs, or blue eyes. Maybe it's her height, or pretty nose, or smaller feet that make us insecure. There are always things we wish we had, and that allows envy to grow and fester within ourselves to the point we lash out at others. We project our own insecurities on this other person, giving way to fear, envy, resentment, rage, anxiety, and overall bad self-esteem.
How would things be different if instead, we built each other up? Rather than letting our insecurities tear us down, what if we set out to understand that each and every one of us has insecurities? What if we could instead help that person feel better about looking in their own mirror? We don't know what that person goes through every day, or what her struggles are. Sometimes, behind a beautiful smile, there lies a shattered soul. We assume because she has something we don't that she must then be happier. That is not always true. Each of us have different demons.
When I met Erotically_Yours. I said to myself, “This woman will never talk to me. She is beautiful. Look at her body. It's perfect. She is tall, thin, and has great boobs.” I listed all the things that I thought were perfect. But as I got to know her, I found out that she has just as many insecurities as I do. Only different. She envied me for my blue eyes and because I was loving, forgiving, and compassionate. She reminded me that being liked for beauty alone can feel just as empty. So we talked about ways to change our negative thoughts. How to bring out the positive attributes in each other. The difference between then and now is rather than be jealous or envious of her, I now understand her. She now understands me also. Because of this, we are now able to support each other in a meaningful way. We can remind one another that beauty is so much more than just what we see in a mirror.
Working together and loving one another provides less stress amongst each other. It holds us accountable for our actions. I don't feel like I need to be nasty to another woman because she has something I don't. I now realize that is my envy coming out, not something she did. When you surround yourself with positive energy, it rubs off on you. Let's face it. We all like having that one girlfriend (Or many) that we can talk to about the ugliest sides of ourselves. We know that person loves us no matter what.
So EY and I talked about creating a thread that would allow us as women to post about the things we think are our flaws so the other people can laugh at us and tell us we're crazy. But we'll also post the things we love about ourselves. We've worked hard to achieve something and we're proud of it. We thought this would be fun to do in a unique way because like myself, I'm horrible with words, stringing them together and finding the perfect ones to describe what I want to say is always hard. As it stands, I'll send this to EY to have her rework it and add punctuation.
So we thought that if we made a picture collage with quotes next to it that it would be fun, exciting, and hopefully inspirational as well. We would love to have you all join in on this. Make your own. You can use your own words, or quotes you feel have meaning to you. This first poster that I made has several volunteers who agreed to send me pictures of their body that they felt was their biggest flaw.
However, I do want to remind you all, this isn't just about flaws. We want to see your beauty. It would be amazing to see how happy you are with the things you love about yourself also. Remember, positive energy, rubs off. So rub your positive energy on us. We are all beautiful. Lets prove that.
Men. I know that I worded this mostly for the women and I apologize for that. I know that many men have the same issues. Their own insecurities. I never realized that until I joined Lit. I always just assumed men didn't care as much. Now I know that to be untrue. So, I really don't want to leave you guys out. I would like to invite you to do the same thing, please join in and allow us all to build you up as well.
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