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Old 01-07-2018, 06:32 PM   #926
MagicaPractica
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Kick off your sandals and dance to distract them!.
Listen, I'm neither a magic show assistant nor Matahari. Why don't YOU dance?
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:03 PM   #927
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Listen, I'm neither a mage nor a Maharaji. Why don't YOU fall into a trance?
I took a Jazz Trance class once but it went too yoga and I fell asleep. Govinda Jai-Jai does that to me.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:52 PM   #928
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I went to a fancy dress party once in a toga once and took home the pianist. I have great legs that do that for me.
Ooo, la la. My husband used to mountain bike, that'll do it for a guy.
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Old 01-07-2018, 10:19 PM   #929
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Oh, no no! My husband used to mount a shrike, that'll do it to a guy.
There's a reason they're called butcherbirds, you know!
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Old 01-07-2018, 10:32 PM   #930
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There's a reason they're called hippopotamusses, you know!
Yeah, cause their hips are so big.

Their potamusses are pretty noticeable, too.

Like some members here.
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Old 01-07-2018, 10:38 PM   #931
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Yeah, cause their quips are so witty.

Their portmanteaus are pretty incredible, too.

Like some members here.
Glad to see you appreciate your fellow writers.
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Old 01-08-2018, 02:15 AM   #932
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Glad to see you replicate your fellow writers.
That's the best way to show them that I love them; imitation is the highest form of flattery, after all.
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:32 AM   #933
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That's the best way to kill them, most idiots fish with bait I use dynamite.
I think you've missed the point of fishing, fishing is supposed to be about peace quiet and reflection not carnage and chaos. It's supposed to be an escape from that.
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Old 01-08-2018, 11:05 AM   #934
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I think you've missed the point of flensing, flensing is supposed to be about peace quiet and reflection not carnage and chaos. It's supposed to be an escape from that.
Slicing the skin and fat from a carcass is peaceful and reflective? Tell that to a Buddhist!
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Old 01-08-2018, 11:12 AM   #935
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Slicing the skin and fat from a live human carcass and having a big feast is what I do for fun!
Before I arrest you, I must ask, do you at least cook them before you eat them?
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Old 01-08-2018, 11:20 AM   #936
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Before I breast feed you, I must ask, do you at least look at them before you eat them?
You're getting pretty cocky about your man boobs, friend.
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Old 01-08-2018, 01:38 PM   #937
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You've cooked about enough noobs already, friend. No wonder you're banned so much.
It was only innocent fun, like exploding chickens. The chickens don't mind it; why should the noobs?
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Old 01-08-2018, 01:54 PM   #938
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It was only indecent fun, like exploring chicks. The chicks don't mind it; why else do they have boobs?
I think you're stepping over the line, now; time's up!
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Old 01-08-2018, 04:39 PM   #939
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I think Karen from HR is going to be paying you a visit.
You know, the woman with fake boobs who wears the tight yoga pants? Yeah, she does slightly send out mixed signals, but does her job effectively.
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:22 PM   #940
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You really do your job effectively.
Thanks! Would you mind telling my boss that?
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Old 01-09-2018, 01:14 AM   #941
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Would you mind killing my boss?
Yes I would mind, after all she is my wife and we took vows or something that I think forbids that.
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Old 01-09-2018, 05:52 AM   #942
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After all those years, I'm still deeply in love with my wife.
And one day she will feel the same!
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Old 01-09-2018, 05:57 AM   #943
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And one day she will master the flugelhorn!
Geese in the local golf course pond are dreading that day. So am I.
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Old 01-09-2018, 06:55 AM   #944
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Goldfish in the local golf course pond are looking sick.
Seriously. This is actually happening in the real world.
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Old 01-09-2018, 03:36 PM   #945
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welcome to my world
won't you come on in
miracles I guess
still happen now and then
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Old 01-09-2018, 07:49 PM   #946
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Well, come on in, miracles do happen I guess.
You know, I saw hell freeze over once. It was in the kitchen.
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Old 01-09-2018, 08:28 PM   #947
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Hey, I saw hell freeze over once. It was bitchin'! Especially the satanic icicles.
Just wait till purgatory melts down. The surf will be awesome.
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Old 01-09-2018, 09:11 PM   #948
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Just wait til California falls off the continent, the surf will be awesome.
I can wait.
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Old 01-10-2018, 02:09 AM   #949
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I will wait.
No! Please, join us!
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Old 01-10-2018, 04:53 AM   #950
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Look, join the dork side!
I hear you guys have really good movies.
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