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Old 11-05-2017, 12:18 AM   #426
MagicaPractica
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Sorry, honey, I thought I was jumping the loveseat, I didn't realize you were lying on it!
If you'd just sit down the normal way! But I suppose it's my fault for getting you the "Happy Days" DVDs for your birthday.
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Old 11-05-2017, 12:47 AM   #427
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I blame you, and I blame myself.
No, no, it's much easier to blame my mother--she put me in that La-Z-Boy, she tuned to those Pinky Tuscadero episodes. It's all on her!
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:34 AM   #428
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Mother will protect you
Darling, here's what I suggest
Skip the drama
Stay with mama
Mother knows…
psst. She's not your real mommy; she's just an evil witch.
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Old 11-05-2017, 05:07 AM   #429
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Do not spit the dummy over the bitch.
That's what my brother told me when I was just over a year old and angry with my Mum.
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Old 11-05-2017, 07:40 AM   #430
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That's what my lawyer told me when I was eighteen and I did that thing.
That was you?
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Old 11-05-2017, 07:51 AM   #431
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What was THAT?
Just a one-eyed flying purple people eater back lit by the moon.
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Old 11-05-2017, 08:29 AM   #432
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Just shut the fuck up and eat me.
Yes Ma'am!
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Old 11-05-2017, 08:39 AM   #433
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Yes! Mmmm...
Isn't it amazing how they can print any photo on a cake now?
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Old 11-05-2017, 09:32 AM   #434
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Isn't my vibrator amazing?
No, it's terrifying. That things going to put my union members out of business. You've got to give my members a chance to service you better, I know that we're up to it.
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Old 11-05-2017, 10:16 AM   #435
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No, it's terrifying. It'd take a whole football team to put that thing out of business!
Nah, just one or two good men.
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Old 11-05-2017, 10:34 AM   #436
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Nah, just one or two good moves.
True. It's all about repetition.
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Old 11-05-2017, 10:58 AM   #437
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True. It's all about stimulation.
I agree, but you have to stimulate the brain as much as the body.
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Old 11-05-2017, 11:16 AM   #438
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It's all about anal nowadays.
Yeah, blowjobs are so 1990.
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Old 11-05-2017, 11:31 AM   #439
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I've got the electrodes ready. How many volts? 1990?
Sounds about right. *shrug*
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Old 11-05-2017, 11:42 AM   #440
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Sounds a bit high. *shrug*
Please... don't... touch... the... merchandise...
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Old 11-05-2017, 12:35 PM   #441
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Please touch the merchandise.
I'd rather not.
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Old 11-05-2017, 12:44 PM   #442
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I'd rather.
I'm always disappointed when fabric doesn't live up to my expectations.
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Old 11-05-2017, 01:10 PM   #443
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I'm disappointed when food doesn't live up to my expectations.
I agree I'm finding myself getting nostalgic of simple foods from my childhood, I want a happy meal.
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Old 11-05-2017, 01:27 PM   #444
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I want a happy meal that doesn't make me nauseous.
Homemade is best.
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Old 11-05-2017, 01:39 PM   #445
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Homemade clothes is the best.
I don't know that I agree with that. I'm a nudist, so nude is best.
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Old 11-05-2017, 01:53 PM   #446
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I don't know that I agree with that. I'm a dentist, so al dente is best.
I am a cook, and I like it well-cooked
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Old 11-05-2017, 02:04 PM   #447
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I am a cocaine dealer, and I like it well-cooked
I like Coca-Cola, but I'm not sure about cocaine
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Old 11-05-2017, 02:34 PM   #448
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I'm considering switching from Coca-Cola to cocaine.
Five more people in the marketing department at Pepsi just got fired.
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:01 PM   #449
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Five more people in the marketing department for Pepe Le Pew just got fired.
Listen, the little skunk was handsy and he stank, there wasn't much they could do for him.
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:13 PM   #450
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The French are so easy to pick on.
Like, what are they gonna do? Make us work 30-hour weeks, eat good bread and watch sexy movies? Fuck 'em, who needs it?
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