Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Authors' Hangout

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 11-30-2017, 02:05 PM   #676
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubenR View Post
Itís the nookie that ruins every deal. Big Mother is watching you.
I know, I know. Why don't they teach you in junior high that it's not okay to whip out your dick in front of coworkers? I mean, it's not the sort of thing a man would just figure out on his own.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-30-2017, 02:57 PM   #677
RubenR
Literotica Guru
 
RubenR's Avatar
 
RubenR is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Hidden
Posts: 1,720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
Why donít they improve the teaching of social skills and manners at primary school? Itís not the kind of thing parents should have to waste their time on; that's what teachers get paid for, right?

Education is certainly rapidly declining. Last week, we were called to our sonís university; the professors complained he isnít potty-trained yet. How is that our fault?
__________________
My Stories and Poems
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-30-2017, 03:04 PM   #678
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubenR View Post
We were busy shooting up heroin and our son just happened to develop a diaper fetish. Are the two even related?
Who really knows why anything happens to anyone?
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-30-2017, 10:21 PM   #679
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
Who really knows anything?
*in my best Horseshack voice* Ooo, oooo, I do, Mr. Kotter! I do!
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-30-2017, 10:29 PM   #680
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
Flashback! Flashback! 70's PTSD!
Har! In my best Vinnie Barbarino voice, "L. Ron Hubbard, Mr. Kotter!"
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2017, 12:03 AM   #681
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
In my best L. Ron Hubbard voice, "Buy my book!"
No. Tried to read a little of it once and my brain threatened to turn to mush and leak out my ear.
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2017, 12:22 AM   #682
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
Thetans are making my brain leak out of my ears.
I'm doubtful. I personally think it's the teenager from the next universe over who coded the game we live in. I just don't understand why in hell he couldn't have designed better porn while he was at it.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2017, 02:27 AM   #683
Hypoxia
doesn't watch television
 
Hypoxia's Avatar
 
Hypoxia is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Llareggub, just around the corner
Posts: 23,908
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
I don't want a pickle; just wanna ride on my motor-sickle
And I don't want a tickle; just wanna ride on my motor-sickle
And I don't wanna die -- just wanna ride on my motor-cy... cle.
I can get you a good deal on used outlaw gang leathers.
Don't mind the stains or holes or anything.
Just stay out of my neighborhood.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2017, 08:37 AM   #684
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoxia View Post
I can get you a good deal on used feathers.
What were they used for?
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2017, 01:12 PM   #685
Hypoxia
doesn't watch television
 
Hypoxia's Avatar
 
Hypoxia is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Llareggub, just around the corner
Posts: 23,908
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
Why have you used me like this?The cuffs are too tight.
I couldn't let you transform into your true shape. But your current shape is quite appealing. You'll stay like that as long as I want.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2017, 09:04 PM   #686
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoxia View Post
I couldn't let you perform! Your voice is quite appalling. You'll say those vocal exercises as long as I want, Eliza!.
Yes, guv'nor. The rain in Spain...
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 12:55 AM   #687
Hypoxia
doesn't watch television
 
Hypoxia's Avatar
 
Hypoxia is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Llareggub, just around the corner
Posts: 23,908
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
!Si, si, gobernador! The Spanish cigar-rolling girls are waiting outside for you. Shall I send in Carmen first?
Hmm, one or two at a time, or all at once? Let me consider... But first, lick my ear.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 03:19 AM   #688
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoxia View Post
Your wife will receive your ear in a cigar box, senor.
Thus will begin either a revolution or a novel.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 04:14 AM   #689
Hypoxia
doesn't watch television
 
Hypoxia's Avatar
 
Hypoxia is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Llareggub, just around the corner
Posts: 23,908
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
The revolution will not be televised but an animated simulation will be available for a nominal fee.
The UAW/MF bit was fun but it's all gone downhill from there. Damn Abbie Hoffman! And his trained hamsters!
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 05:40 AM   #690
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoxia View Post
The UAW/MF bit was fun but it's all gone downhill from there. Damn Abbie Hoffman! And his trained hamsters!
In the spirit of Abbie Hoffman, I really just want to kick your ass for being a fool. Sorry. . . .















,
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 09:25 AM   #691
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
In the spirit of BA Barakas, I really just want to say I pity the fool! Sorry. . .
Heh. I love it when a quote comes together.
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 01:02 PM   #692
loquere
Smile!
 
loquere's Avatar
 
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: My imagination!
Posts: 21,442
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
Heh. I love it when a good plot comes together.
Now the bodies in the garage make sense.
__________________
Read My Stories
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 03:15 PM   #693
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by loquere View Post
There is a kind of depraved logic about the bodies in the garage.
No one ever misses them until, one day, someone randomly reads a message on a board devoted to sex, and starts poking his nose in places it doesn't belong. The plot doesn't thicken, but there is gratuitous nudity.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 07:39 PM   #694
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
No one ever misses me until, one day, someone reads a random message on a porn board and starts poking it in places it doesn't belong. THEN they begin to wonder where I am.
Is that because . . . or . . . . You know what? Nevermind. I don't want to know.
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 09:29 PM   #695
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
Is that because the electricity stops working or the plumping backs up, or a pig needs to be slaughtered, or someone can't get medication to keep her off the street looking to score heroin? Or just wants her butt smacked for the hell of it? I don't want to know.
They say men can't multi-task, but I do a lot of things you wouldn't want to know about.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 09:45 PM   #696
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
They say you can't compartmentalize everything, but I've done a lot of things I don't want to know about.
I understand, Zaphod. Have another Pan-galactic gargle-blaster.
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 10:31 PM   #697
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
I prescribe Pan-galactic gargle-blasters.
Thanks, but I'm currently on a regimen of tequila and Xanax. Just a single 15 megaton elephant dose. Seems to be working--I haven't strangled anyone for a week now. And my inappropriate sexual behavior is down by 50%. HR says they're pleased with my progress.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 10:49 PM   #698
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
HR just fired me.
Enjoy your R & R?
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2017, 11:13 PM   #699
Joe_Bob_Gautama
Sporadically lucid
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama's Avatar
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The South
Posts: 2,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicaPractica View Post
Enjoy your extra jackoff time?
Not as much as I used to. Sadly, I just find myself playing more golf.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-03-2017, 08:54 AM   #700
MagicaPractica
Dreamer
 
MagicaPractica's Avatar
 
MagicaPractica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Space-Time Continuum
Posts: 19,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Bob_Gautama View Post
Sadly, I find myself playing golf more often these days.
It must be a guy thing, I don't get the analogy. It sounds painful, hitting small balls around with a stick?
__________________
Playgrounder #426
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:07 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.