What's wrong with this story?
- Thread starter semen15
- Start date
That this story:
Black woman and the Nazi
Bam! Bam! Bam!
- Wake Up! Hear you, black monkey! Wake up!
Slapped finally forced the Marie recover, were not strong, but very offensive, like those German words that irritated female voice shouted.
- Gosh, Sigrid, you seem to thoroughly cut down her!
- She awoke, there's eyelids tremble, - heard a another voice, with a strange accent - Hey, stop pretending or it will be worse!
As if confirming this is followed by a new slap in the face - much stronger than the previous ones.
Forgetting all Marie with an angry cry rushed to punish the offender. Immediately threw her back - her arms and legs have been on to something chained.
REMAINDER DELETED BY MOD
Black woman and the Nazi
Bam! Bam! Bam!
- Wake Up! Hear you, black monkey! Wake up!
Slapped finally forced the Marie recover, were not strong, but very offensive, like those German words that irritated female voice shouted.
- Gosh, Sigrid, you seem to thoroughly cut down her!
- She awoke, there's eyelids tremble, - heard a another voice, with a strange accent - Hey, stop pretending or it will be worse!
As if confirming this is followed by a new slap in the face - much stronger than the previous ones.
Forgetting all Marie with an angry cry rushed to punish the offender. Immediately threw her back - her arms and legs have been on to something chained.
REMAINDER DELETED BY MOD
Last edited by a moderator:
Bramblethorn
Sleep-deprived
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- Feb 16, 2012
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- 16,730
Hi, the forum isn't for posting complete stories, so don't be surprised if your second post in this thread gets edited.
If you look at the bit in your submissions view where it tells you the story has been rejected, there should be a link that you can click to see the reasons for rejection.
If you look at the bit in your submissions view where it tells you the story has been rejected, there should be a link that you can click to see the reasons for rejection.
_Lynn_
Literotica Guru
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- Dec 12, 2006
- Posts
- 49,376
Last edited:
Ok,I realized my mistake. But how I know the opinion about my story?
Let's try again 
I wrote a story on the topic of interracial lesbian domination during World War II) The story is not in English, translated it, as far as I allowed the knowledge of the language and posted on the website. The story was rejected. Somebody could help me to fix the story in accordance with the requirements of Literotica?
I wrote a story on the topic of interracial lesbian domination during World War II) The story is not in English, translated it, as far as I allowed the knowledge of the language and posted on the website. The story was rejected. Somebody could help me to fix the story in accordance with the requirements of Literotica?
Todger65
Usually Horny
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- Nov 25, 2013
- Posts
- 31,088
The problem in general with translation from German to English is related to the verb position and the general sentence structure.
Machine/software translation can be reasonable but it nearly always needs a person to finish it off manually. I know this from experience during my working life in the automobile manufacturing business where a lot of my colleagues were German and emails were in a mix of languages. I spoke a little German but my boss didn't so I had to tidy up the emails for him and even then they were not 100% correct
Having read the few paragraphs in your post, I can see it would need almost a re-write to get it into an acceptable and easy readable English version.
I think you may have a problem finding someone to volunteer to do that for you
Machine/software translation can be reasonable but it nearly always needs a person to finish it off manually. I know this from experience during my working life in the automobile manufacturing business where a lot of my colleagues were German and emails were in a mix of languages. I spoke a little German but my boss didn't so I had to tidy up the emails for him and even then they were not 100% correct
Having read the few paragraphs in your post, I can see it would need almost a re-write to get it into an acceptable and easy readable English version.
I think you may have a problem finding someone to volunteer to do that for you
It's not German. It's Russian
Todger65
Usually Horny
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2013
- Posts
- 31,088
As a non-native I have never had any stories rejected.
They tend to be fairly strict on formatting dialogue, or so I've been told - check the writer's resources on that - and personally I like strict punctuation and formatting as it makes reading so much easier. I just adopted the style as suggested in those how-to's.
They're not exactly strict on grammar and spelling, considering the large number of barely readable stories out there. You have to make it really bad, like the excerpt that you posted, that was terrible grammar and punctuation that's totally different from what expected. So bad that I can't even figure out what is dialogue and what is not just in that excerpt (that is, it appears that part of it should be part of a conversation). The grammar is so bad that for most of it I have no idea what it's supposed to mean.
Doing translations is not easy. In this case, as the original is in Russian, it's best done by a native English speaker who is well versed in Russian.
They tend to be fairly strict on formatting dialogue, or so I've been told - check the writer's resources on that - and personally I like strict punctuation and formatting as it makes reading so much easier. I just adopted the style as suggested in those how-to's.
They're not exactly strict on grammar and spelling, considering the large number of barely readable stories out there. You have to make it really bad, like the excerpt that you posted, that was terrible grammar and punctuation that's totally different from what expected. So bad that I can't even figure out what is dialogue and what is not just in that excerpt (that is, it appears that part of it should be part of a conversation). The grammar is so bad that for most of it I have no idea what it's supposed to mean.
Doing translations is not easy. In this case, as the original is in Russian, it's best done by a native English speaker who is well versed in Russian.
