twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
A gift for the poets - why I love literotica, you see things you don't often see elsewhere, these are a few of them. So allow me to revisit some I found noteworthy and say a few good things. Merely my opinion.
There are many ways to read poetry, We could start at the beginning as a linear fashion, or we could a little more psychological and look for the center, the point of the poem. Linear is best if it is a straight story and for the establishment of a rhythm, that will be followed to a certain extent. The first two lines are important. The first two lines also are the leadins for the reader.
A more psychological approach as reading and as a compositional strategy, I've always found to be more useful, as other structures come into play besides the two common ones of rhythm, grammar and form.
Some very easy things to look for: Half of writing is unconscious, a good writer is also instinctive.
Anything repeated is important.
Anything anomalous. Unexpected turns, unusual wording, rhythm, things that may at first just seem wrong. Often this is the focal point or key.
What is the "I" up too? The "I" is the biggest insidious creep a writer has to guard against, how is it handled? Some I plan to cover, have no "I".
The ending is more important than the beginning. This is where the reader arrives at, this should be where the writer wants to take you. You don't want the reader getting there before the writer does.
Poets play tricks, some things are counter-intuitive, and rarely is anything of interest straight up and straight though.
*********************************************************************
She Wants to be Amy Winehouse.
byvrosej10
vrose10, good sonics, good image, not a complex poem.
Here is the focal point:
With all these wiles, all the while; she is aware.
The line is total abstraction, or is it? Wonderful alliteration, but the line also contains a latent visual. Say it.Too bad, she couldn't figure out how to stick the long O sound in here.
This poem I thought about for days, cracking up, and amazed.
*********************************************************************
Evenings Out
byfridayam
I even out my life in evenings
out in the garden, making the most
of Summer, watching the
colour drain from things into
pools of black which
trickle slowly together to
drown the world in darkness,
like rock-pools on a beach into which
we stare at crabs and
starfish while the sea
cuts us off, and Autumn
swallows Summer.
First, fridayam starts out with a strong "!', most of his have a conversational tone, then balances with:
we stare, the sea cuts us off, A 2 to 1 ratio of inclusion. I had trouble reading this, until I noticed this:
The focal point, the key:
watching the
colour drain from things
having UU, slight pause, "the"normally would be considered bad enjambment but Eliot uses the same trick starting the Wasteland.This throws a heavy weight on colour, that he again takes away with "from things", one of those words some warn against using, this is counter-intuitive. Out, out, out, into the black pools, drowning in darkness.
This is no poem for poseurs.
*********************************************************************
Next up, two poems, by Kaishaku and Angeline, which are two of the more amazing things I've seen recently. Disquieting and also not poems for the faint
of mind.
There are many ways to read poetry, We could start at the beginning as a linear fashion, or we could a little more psychological and look for the center, the point of the poem. Linear is best if it is a straight story and for the establishment of a rhythm, that will be followed to a certain extent. The first two lines are important. The first two lines also are the leadins for the reader.
A more psychological approach as reading and as a compositional strategy, I've always found to be more useful, as other structures come into play besides the two common ones of rhythm, grammar and form.
Some very easy things to look for: Half of writing is unconscious, a good writer is also instinctive.
Anything repeated is important.
Anything anomalous. Unexpected turns, unusual wording, rhythm, things that may at first just seem wrong. Often this is the focal point or key.
What is the "I" up too? The "I" is the biggest insidious creep a writer has to guard against, how is it handled? Some I plan to cover, have no "I".
The ending is more important than the beginning. This is where the reader arrives at, this should be where the writer wants to take you. You don't want the reader getting there before the writer does.
Poets play tricks, some things are counter-intuitive, and rarely is anything of interest straight up and straight though.
*********************************************************************
She Wants to be Amy Winehouse.
byvrosej10
vrose10, good sonics, good image, not a complex poem.
Here is the focal point:
With all these wiles, all the while; she is aware.
The line is total abstraction, or is it? Wonderful alliteration, but the line also contains a latent visual. Say it.Too bad, she couldn't figure out how to stick the long O sound in here.
This poem I thought about for days, cracking up, and amazed.
*********************************************************************
Evenings Out
byfridayam
I even out my life in evenings
out in the garden, making the most
of Summer, watching the
colour drain from things into
pools of black which
trickle slowly together to
drown the world in darkness,
like rock-pools on a beach into which
we stare at crabs and
starfish while the sea
cuts us off, and Autumn
swallows Summer.
First, fridayam starts out with a strong "!', most of his have a conversational tone, then balances with:
we stare, the sea cuts us off, A 2 to 1 ratio of inclusion. I had trouble reading this, until I noticed this:
The focal point, the key:
watching the
colour drain from things
having UU, slight pause, "the"normally would be considered bad enjambment but Eliot uses the same trick starting the Wasteland.This throws a heavy weight on colour, that he again takes away with "from things", one of those words some warn against using, this is counter-intuitive. Out, out, out, into the black pools, drowning in darkness.
This is no poem for poseurs.
*********************************************************************
Next up, two poems, by Kaishaku and Angeline, which are two of the more amazing things I've seen recently. Disquieting and also not poems for the faint
of mind.