"You're All Going to Hell!"

Tuesday, we told you about a disturbing trend Astrogliding its way across America, wherein otherwise pure Christian lady humans are losing their Christian salvation by playing with dildos all the time. If only somebody was willing to ride to their rescue, yank ’em out (and take the batt’ries out of their Rabbits too), so they could go to heaven and play Scattergories with Jesus for all eternity.

Mother Jones reports that Ted Cruz tried to be that dildo-yanker. When he was solicitor general in Texas, his team defended a Texas ban on the sale of dildos, how fucked up is that? And worse, they didn’t care whether you got them from one of those Amway-style dildo parties or from the dildo counter at Cracker Barrel, ALL DILDOS ARE BAD:

Oh, and Cruz’s hilarious loss ended up killing anti-dildo laws in Mississippi and Louisiana too, hooray! So if you’re a lady or gentleman from any of those parts, and you’re currently boning your danger zone with a legally procured sex weapon, you, in a roundabout way, can thank Ted Cruz for trying to be such a gross dildo-pilfering fuckweasel.

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Aliceinchains36 said:

I masturbate all the time, and I've never once opened a portal to Hell. What am I doing wrong?

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JackLuis said:

You have to do it while looking at a pix of Ted Cruz and rotate to the right.

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Jennifer said:

me so horny.

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doctor_insanus said:

Maybe this will help.

Look at that suave, sophisticated motherfucker.

LOOK AT HIM.

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Aliceinchains36 said:

My kitty is sad...

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Hypoxia said:

My cat died. I blame Crude's masturbation.

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digitalia said:

This is Hell...

...we (obviously including this "Christian" bozo) just don't fully understand that, yet.

When the grace of God is removed, imagine being spiritually (mentally, for all you left behinders) stuck here absolutely ALONE WITH NO HOPE of love or any kind of attention from anyone or anywhere to ease your loneliness; NO HOPE for any degree of relief from the total anguish which eternally strikes you; NO HOPE for any justice at all from all the wrong which permeates from your entire being; NO HOPE at all that any of what we've all experienced of this world's horrific and atrocious evil ever abates to any degree at all - it's just you and all the bad you've already experienced from this world, forevermore.

Some believe that we are all created in His image, and one aspect of that creation is that our spirits - like His - are immortal; and that the entire reason He bears us into this physical world is so we can get our lifelong taste of the uncompromising black and white difference between this world and His, so that the free will choice we all must make between them is a true one we - and only we - are fully responsible for.

Take away ALL GOOD from this world and imagine being stuck in it for all eternity, LOST forever, reeling in eternal misery and anguish with only ONE merciless thought endlessly repeating in your mind: All I had to do was believe.
If our existence is as meaningless in the big picture as all the wannabes need it to be, freely choosing life carries no extra penalty at all when it's our time to exit this small picture.

But if LIFE is as meaningful as the lives we all are truly living and factually experiencing now, with all the love and hate and good and evil it naturally contains to help us choose, then the decision each one of us makes is most certainly one of LIFE or DEATH.

All religion is man-made, no matter its flavor, and every one of them illegitimizes itself according to the degrees of collective force they all employ to pimp their respective dogma(s).

There is only ONE GOD, there is only ONE you, and there is only ONE choice to be freely made.

Choose wisely, grasshopper.

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hssh345 said:

I'm with many posters who condone those particular posts where eyer engages in unpleasant personal attacks.

But damn! When it comes to religion, philosophy and other topics, not many could argue against the fact that he knows his stuff & his posts are a pleasure to read.

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Que said:

Who condones that?

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hssh345 said:

I'm with many posters who condone those particular posts where eyer engages in unpleasant personal attacks.

But damn! When it comes to religion, philosophy and other topics, not many could argue against the fact that he knows his stuff & his posts are a pleasure to read.

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Hypoxia said:

You mean where he makes unsubstantiated claims about the unknowable? Claims contradicted by biblical texts on which they're supposedly based? It's as entertaining as some but not all other religious puffery. Hinduism takes a much larger and richer view of space-time than do constipated Western theologies. Has a niftier pantheon, too. Xianity is like a Punch-and-Judy puppet show in comparison.

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