WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
I just realized that no many poems for the 2nd were mentioned either.
Here's one I enjoyed by Du Lac: Celestial Breeze
Here's one I enjoyed by Du Lac: Celestial Breeze
New Poetry Recommendations
- Thread starter The Poets
- Start date
Reltne
Petrified Poet
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2004
- Posts
- 313
3 4 1 5 5
Well, if nobody else will step forward I will point a few out to you.
You might want to start at the top with 9:30 club by Annaswirls.
You won't know where this one is going until the end!
*********
My second pick is
Persephone, Please. by Angeline.
The poem makes reference to King Lear and is well written as Angeline always does, but it may feel more at home somewhere else than on a porn site. Go read it before it gets lonesome and wanders off.
*********
Thirdly, I recommend
Liar's sleep, damn you.
There is enough word fun here to keep you awake at night. Go see for yourself.
Well, if nobody else will step forward I will point a few out to you.
You might want to start at the top with 9:30 club by Annaswirls.
You won't know where this one is going until the end!
*********
My second pick is
Persephone, Please. by Angeline.
The poem makes reference to King Lear and is well written as Angeline always does, but it may feel more at home somewhere else than on a porn site. Go read it before it gets lonesome and wanders off.
*********
Thirdly, I recommend
Liar's sleep, damn you.
There is enough word fun here to keep you awake at night. Go see for yourself.
Last edited:
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
More Poetry From Jan 5
aisle 86 armageddon
by normal jean ©
before the floor fell
from underneath, before walls crumbled
from up to down, then fell
beneath my feet, your feet
as we ran towards tomorrow.
A nightmare of interesting images. See what happens after the floor and walls crumble.
----------
Spent
by OhMissScarlett ©
Saturated
with cabbage roses
we swelter
grope and bask
A poem of a few words but I like the ones I read.
----------
Two more worth taking a look at:
First base
by tungtied2u ©
I have decided to give in
to be driven by base instinct
amoebic in origin
amoral in motive, it is
to ___.
by TigersMylke ©
when I couldn't
even force or fake
a tear on that day.
must be the winter
or the lyrics
aisle 86 armageddon
by normal jean ©
before the floor fell
from underneath, before walls crumbled
from up to down, then fell
beneath my feet, your feet
as we ran towards tomorrow.
A nightmare of interesting images. See what happens after the floor and walls crumble.
----------
Spent
by OhMissScarlett ©
Saturated
with cabbage roses
we swelter
grope and bask
A poem of a few words but I like the ones I read.
----------
Two more worth taking a look at:
First base
by tungtied2u ©
I have decided to give in
to be driven by base instinct
amoebic in origin
amoral in motive, it is
to ___.
by TigersMylke ©
when I couldn't
even force or fake
a tear on that day.
must be the winter
or the lyrics
Liar
now with 17% more class
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2003
- Posts
- 43,715
Hulloh. A brief one today, since I really need to go to bed.
Poems that tickled my fancy today...
Disclaimer: It's my fancy, yours might be tickled other ways.
blind obstination by Jenna Grey ©
Tanglible and complicated emotions relayed well through effective metaphors. Ain't that what poetry is all about?
Protected Secrets by dreamsweet ©
Strong, well balanced and eloquent expessive poetry.
[color=228822]These sharp fringes
around my heart
extend from two wishes
- one about love and one about home -
that never quite came true,[/color]
Are You Experienced (naivete) by stacistatas ©
I don't know what this is. A chat transcript of a jaded generation? The last line made me chuckle, and that's always a good sign.
Time At Hand by Du Lac ©
There are many good passes here, but for this stanza alone, I would recommend it:
[color=228822]Hope does reign,
Sword pulled from sand,
Slashing the pain,
Purging the land.[/color]
Filling The Void by Son Of Issachar ©
Second submission and the first one in quite a while from this poet. I do hope there will be more, for this is pretty damn strong poetry.
[color=228822]your pierced body
went way beyond me
and the anti-life of
black rimmed eyes
deep set in bloodless[/color]
tit fuck by WickedEve ©
It is called "tit fuck". It is written by Wicked Eve. It has lines like "ungh, squeak". What the hell are you waiting for? Go read.
"... the lucky ones!" by My Erotic Tale ©
Interresting and inventive perspective on both war and how to write about it. Get that html formatting fixed, Art. Your poem deserves working italics.
Centigrade or Fahrenheit by sandspike ©
What's cooking here? Some tasty pie, I reckon. A fun rhyme on a fun theme.
Little Boys and Cameras by Sexxy Vixen ©
Sexxy Vixen has eleventeen million poems up for grabs today. This really cute one is the best.
That's it. Good night poets.
#L
Poems that tickled my fancy today...
Disclaimer: It's my fancy, yours might be tickled other ways.
blind obstination by Jenna Grey ©
Tanglible and complicated emotions relayed well through effective metaphors. Ain't that what poetry is all about?
Protected Secrets by dreamsweet ©
Strong, well balanced and eloquent expessive poetry.
[color=228822]These sharp fringes
around my heart
extend from two wishes
- one about love and one about home -
that never quite came true,[/color]
Are You Experienced (naivete) by stacistatas ©
I don't know what this is. A chat transcript of a jaded generation? The last line made me chuckle, and that's always a good sign.
Time At Hand by Du Lac ©
There are many good passes here, but for this stanza alone, I would recommend it:
[color=228822]Hope does reign,
Sword pulled from sand,
Slashing the pain,
Purging the land.[/color]
Filling The Void by Son Of Issachar ©
Second submission and the first one in quite a while from this poet. I do hope there will be more, for this is pretty damn strong poetry.
[color=228822]your pierced body
went way beyond me
and the anti-life of
black rimmed eyes
deep set in bloodless[/color]
tit fuck by WickedEve ©
It is called "tit fuck". It is written by Wicked Eve. It has lines like "ungh, squeak". What the hell are you waiting for? Go read.
"... the lucky ones!" by My Erotic Tale ©
Interresting and inventive perspective on both war and how to write about it. Get that html formatting fixed, Art. Your poem deserves working italics.
Centigrade or Fahrenheit by sandspike ©
What's cooking here? Some tasty pie, I reckon. A fun rhyme on a fun theme.
Little Boys and Cameras by Sexxy Vixen ©
Sexxy Vixen has eleventeen million poems up for grabs today.
This really cute one is the best.That's it. Good night poets.
#L
Tathagata
Lazarus Monkey
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2004
- Posts
- 24,721
Todays reviews- Here I am Moe
Ok It's friday and the libations have been flowing lets give these mental ejaculations a look see eh??
all these opinions and bullshit pronouncements mean nothing...tis only the ramblings of one mans brain...so take no heed..even better..abandon all hope ye who enter here
Sexxy Vixen has multiple illustrated posts
some great photos my faves---
grass
the river
She also offers a few others that are almost haiku in there style and form.
All of them are worth a look
lest we forget..simplicity is sometimes the best path to take.
Eyes of Midnight ( a haiku) - jd4george
Though absent on the boards Mssr George continues to write and expand the boundaries of his style.
This haiku, to my ear, almost gets there
it presents a great visual..but lacks the " wabi" or " sabi" that permeates the best haiku.
The feeling of the ordinary being sublime, or the " autumnal sadness" of seasonal haiku.
The poem itself has beautiful imagery...but doesn't ring the " haiku" bell in my chest.
Trip To The Boston Museum of Art - jd4george
ah well......
can I post my favorite parts??
being from the Boston area I could relate to this alot more ( we went there in 8th grade)
My only bitch...the use of &
I understood it...but seeing it waiting for me each line...pissed me off..it looked like you were lazy man..and I know you aren't
NOW
check this out:
and
It is brilliant is it's recollection of what was important when you were 13 or 14...and the use of line breaks to reinforce the way the mind wanders when you are that age.
Perhaps one of my favorite works by this author.
He makes you a teenager that takes field trip
remeber??
the destination was never as interesting as the journey.
A must read
Lost in a Jimmy Stewart Number - jd4george
The addition of the line " waiting for my first visit in prison"
is what sets this apart.
the juxtapostion of " jimmy strewart, it's a wonderful life, glen miller" et al
and the prison visit is such a cool contrat on so many levels..
I can see being behind bars at chrstmas time and feeling this:
another must read
Christmas Eve Disturbed - Remec
Some great images and feelings about Christmas eve
ex:
For me and ran a little too long and could use some editing.
The ideas and images themselves were good and interesting..but condensed down would have been even more powerful
Past Lives - foehn
This poets name means a " white out" that occurs on a mountain.
a natural mixing of warm air over the cold snow capped peak of a mountain.
that being said..this poem is well intentioned but a bit obscure...
it starts off well but drifts into randoms surreal imagery
( it has it's place but the balance is always so-so)
great imagery and structure...but when you get to the end you feel....empty
I'd love to see it tightened up and re worked
it has wonderful potential
Ice Storm - foehn
and this is why I could be crtical of the aforementioned poem
because this one is just smooth.
oh yeah
some great writing here
check it out
I don't want to give it away..this is why I think this poet has a very bright future
Go gentle( answering Dylan Thomas) - The Mutt
ahh who would have the balls to take on Dylan Thomas??
The Mutt would and, ya know, he does a damn good job.
Mr Mutt feels comfortable among the denizens of the lost plane, drunks addicts, whores, etc
those who have lost hope.
I must admit I am ignorant to the exact style this poem is written in ( I suspect a Villanelle.) but its power is derived from the conviction of death and certainty
and acceptance of both
A great poem and a must read
you can feel the craftmanship that went into it.
Mssr Mutt is much smarter than he lets on
and thats it for me
I'm off to lick the green fairy and perhaps add a few lines to my poems that lay about like crack whores
errrrr
I mean
the ones I haven't worked on in a while
( no offense to any crack whores on Lit)
: D
Namaste' my brothers and sisters
:rose
Ok It's friday and the libations have been flowing lets give these mental ejaculations a look see eh??
all these opinions and bullshit pronouncements mean nothing...tis only the ramblings of one mans brain...so take no heed..even better..abandon all hope ye who enter here
Sexxy Vixen has multiple illustrated posts
some great photos my faves---
grass
the river
She also offers a few others that are almost haiku in there style and form.
All of them are worth a look
lest we forget..simplicity is sometimes the best path to take.
Eyes of Midnight ( a haiku) - jd4george
Though absent on the boards Mssr George continues to write and expand the boundaries of his style.
This haiku, to my ear, almost gets there
it presents a great visual..but lacks the " wabi" or " sabi" that permeates the best haiku.
The feeling of the ordinary being sublime, or the " autumnal sadness" of seasonal haiku.
The poem itself has beautiful imagery...but doesn't ring the " haiku" bell in my chest.
Trip To The Boston Museum of Art - jd4george
ah well......
can I post my favorite parts??
being from the Boston area I could relate to this alot more ( we went there in 8th grade)
My only bitch...the use of &
I understood it...but seeing it waiting for me each line...pissed me off..it looked like you were lazy man..and I know you aren't
NOW
check this out:
and
This is a tour de force stream of conscious, childhood memory that needs to be read 3, 4, 5 times.
It is brilliant is it's recollection of what was important when you were 13 or 14...and the use of line breaks to reinforce the way the mind wanders when you are that age.
Perhaps one of my favorite works by this author.
He makes you a teenager that takes field trip
remeber??
the destination was never as interesting as the journey.
A must read
Lost in a Jimmy Stewart Number - jd4george
The addition of the line " waiting for my first visit in prison"
is what sets this apart.
the juxtapostion of " jimmy strewart, it's a wonderful life, glen miller" et al
and the prison visit is such a cool contrat on so many levels..
I can see being behind bars at chrstmas time and feeling this:
I mean...that's just so right
another must read
Christmas Eve Disturbed - Remec
Some great images and feelings about Christmas eve
ex:
For me and ran a little too long and could use some editing.
The ideas and images themselves were good and interesting..but condensed down would have been even more powerful
Past Lives - foehn
This poets name means a " white out" that occurs on a mountain.
a natural mixing of warm air over the cold snow capped peak of a mountain.
that being said..this poem is well intentioned but a bit obscure...
it starts off well but drifts into randoms surreal imagery
( it has it's place but the balance is always so-so)
great imagery and structure...but when you get to the end you feel....empty
I'd love to see it tightened up and re worked
it has wonderful potential
Ice Storm - foehn
and this is why I could be crtical of the aforementioned poem
because this one is just smooth.
oh yeah
some great writing here
check it out
I don't want to give it away..this is why I think this poet has a very bright future
Go gentle( answering Dylan Thomas) - The Mutt
ahh who would have the balls to take on Dylan Thomas??
The Mutt would and, ya know, he does a damn good job.
Mr Mutt feels comfortable among the denizens of the lost plane, drunks addicts, whores, etc
those who have lost hope.
I must admit I am ignorant to the exact style this poem is written in ( I suspect a Villanelle.) but its power is derived from the conviction of death and certainty
and acceptance of both
A great poem and a must read
you can feel the craftmanship that went into it.
Mssr Mutt is much smarter than he lets on
and thats it for me
I'm off to lick the green fairy and perhaps add a few lines to my poems that lay about like crack whores
errrrr
I mean
the ones I haven't worked on in a while
( no offense to any crack whores on Lit)
: D
Namaste' my brothers and sisters
:rose
Last edited:
My Erotic Tale
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2004
- Posts
- 3,359
new poem review
New Poem Reviews
for Saturday 8, 2005~
Here we go on a journey of words ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven Second Assault by: SummerMorning
clip~
sex is a machine functioning in seven
second cycles currently downloading at
7.8 KB/sec seven seconds from oblivion
to oblivion attention attention attention
span deficit
~~~~~~~~~
This poem has a great tempo, rythym and style
a very clever write about our era with mega bytes
nibbling at our desires, timed by the moments getting
there.
[clip~]
"mindpiston fucking sexual commodity no
time no time notime noti me noti me nau
ghty me"
Excellent Poem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Listening to Water by : Liar
clip~
While all I can hear
is the shower worshipping her skin
drops falling to her feet in awe,
just ten feet
and one door away,
while I, chained
to the oddest of modesty,
bite my knuckles sore
~~~~~~~~~
An excellent poem diving into the thoughts
of a mans desires while the ears pound with passion
from the showers acustics and the water that dances
on her skin.
Zen Master Poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your Storm (villanelle)
hoopers
clip~
Lightening touches all that’s new
When thunder of elation trilled
I’m lost in a storm that’s you
~~~~~~~~~
Very good poem and I love the way this
poet announces the style of poetry used,
a very intriguing write. hooper also
has another poem posted this day,
Your Storm (free verse)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quasar I R by : quasar
clip~
(D)ies the light of a star as night slides
away, into a Day of ultra violet's violent burn
that's bright. A life basks in it's blasts and
misses it not at night. Where I light, Quasar I R.
~~~~~~~~~
this poem seemed a bit hard to grasp
to use the words of liar "Cosmic"
Stellar poetry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Catholic Wonders Why msboy8
clip~
But I never ask, forgiveness for sin,
Knowing myself, I will do it again,
I cannot ask, I’ll perform the same sin,
A hypocrite, I think I will be then.
~~~~~~~~~
Familiar style ... a very endearing poem of
a souls wrestling with self conviction
and the primal urge, obviously well thought
out and a witty/humorous twist.
another poem posted today was ...
About Sex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pancakes catastrophe
clip~
My cream of wheat
poorly cooked
(with maple syrup
on top
because we have no
brown sugar)
is reminiscent
of pancakes.
~~~~~~~~~
a very humorous poem,
I love pancakes, hehehe
I liked this poem~
short stack of words <grin>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
laughing crow eagleyez
clip~
Suggestions of survival and arrays
of color begun like the surest bet
on both the yin and the yang.
~~~~~~~~~
okay ... I'm a sucker for the ying and yang
in life, but this poem is deep, insightfull and
mistique. A zen master poem so bring your
decoder ring but honestly this poem is very
unique and well worth a read. The crows steal
my cloths pins <grin> (my poem the theif )
the mystic black crow or raven illuminate
yet another powerful poem.
paramount poem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Musician ElusivButterfly
clip~
The musician on the stage
Lights go on
Beauty comes forth
I see what the music is telling me
I hear the beauty from within
The musician
~~~~~~~~~
short and sweet poem about a Musician,
nice write about the enchantment of a song,
Turning the spotlight on ...
The Musician, a Grand Poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chiromancer annaswirls
clip~
on the other side,
auger torn and cement pounded,
white hairline scratches mark
his earned identity
in fishing line and barbed wire.
~~~~~~~~~
'E'xcellent poetry
this poem ROCKS~ Okay I know ya'll got me
painted as a redneck from texas who lives
on an enchanting river and don't know poetry
from the bubble gum wrapper comic and joke
(which was great today by the way)~~
(well the boot fits hehehey!) but I loved this
fishing line and barbed wire, the whole POEM
is riddled with remarkable examples of annas
ability to charm a 'cotton mouth' with her words,
honest this poem is my pic for the day as I can
tell by the comments left that this poem is
adored by others as well, I read it several
times and feel as though I get a different
perspective of it everytime I read it and it's
enchanting as well as projecting a soul into
a tranquil image of memories in scars on a hand,
I've worked a few lathes and harnesses in my day,
so this poem say's it all for my scared hands
and the stories they tell.
I highly recommend reading this poem for a lesson on how to write a perfect poem, as well as it's content, thanks anna~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fist joeys_slave_girl
clip~
Begging and pleading, I squirm in my place -
three
Holding my breath, the anticipation on my face -
four
~~~~~~~~~
Interesting view point~
This poet has several poems post today as well ...
Begging ~
The Way~
Scene One~
Stay Still~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moonlight Message to readers hippiedude
clip~
and wonder why I am
compelled to speak to you
of such common things as these
~~~~~~~~~
Very clever write, I too am glad you do what you
do, hippiedude this a way cool poem, honest man,
love the way the mind questions in the dark
just before a dive into slumber, the moonlight that
is like a night light, the sound of those creatures
still awake was awesome imagry. very good poem.
Dream weaver poetry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
soldier monalisa2
clip~
away from this hell that continuously flashes
in my mind , yet is behind me.
that i cant shut off until i am released
those that died will be honored on a wall
those that survived will have to deal
with lifes expectations up ahead
remember all those that lost and risked their lives
so freedom reigns in the great u.s.a.
~~~~~~~~~
"Amen, sister"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Educated Fools UnclePervey
clip~
Almost every "Academian,"
Is just an "Educated Fool!"
Most of "Them" don't "Know" about real "Life,"
And they can't even "use" a "Tool!!"
~~~~~~~~~
In order to have a book you must have a book binder
in order to have a Congressional signature upon a
petition you have the loggers and truckers that truck
them to mill and sawdust shipped to be processed into
paper and then sold to companies that use the bulk of
sheets that is then drawn into a contract upheld by
lawyers and law and then carried out by those assigned
this task. There is a place for everything, and everything helps unify one instant, the whole is a cycle sometimes longer than life but anyway those educated fools are needed as well as the man with a tool for the mind is a tool so I may disagree with Uncle on this one but his right to freedom of write is expressed here and he also had a few other poems post as well ...
Boogie Woogy Tribe~
Git Up and Git~
A Pure Delight~
Brenda and Linda~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That concludes our joy ride on the words of the
new poems submitted and posted this saturday.
Please remain in your seats till the ride comes to
a complete stop and enjoy your stay here on ...
Earth.
**Note** please reply on the
thread designated for replies ...
......to keep the review thread clear
found in the same poetry feedback forum's list as this ...
thank You and grab a pen for today's poems were
inspirational~
Art~
New Poem Reviews
for Saturday 8, 2005~
Here we go on a journey of words ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven Second Assault by: SummerMorning
clip~
sex is a machine functioning in seven
second cycles currently downloading at
7.8 KB/sec seven seconds from oblivion
to oblivion attention attention attention
span deficit
~~~~~~~~~
This poem has a great tempo, rythym and style
a very clever write about our era with mega bytes
nibbling at our desires, timed by the moments getting
there.
[clip~]
"mindpiston fucking sexual commodity no
time no time notime noti me noti me nau
ghty me"
Excellent Poem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Listening to Water by : Liar
clip~
While all I can hear
is the shower worshipping her skin
drops falling to her feet in awe,
just ten feet
and one door away,
while I, chained
to the oddest of modesty,
bite my knuckles sore
~~~~~~~~~
An excellent poem diving into the thoughts
of a mans desires while the ears pound with passion
from the showers acustics and the water that dances
on her skin.
Zen Master Poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your Storm (villanelle)
hoopers
clip~
Lightening touches all that’s new
When thunder of elation trilled
I’m lost in a storm that’s you
~~~~~~~~~
Very good poem and I love the way this
poet announces the style of poetry used,
a very intriguing write. hooper also
has another poem posted this day,
Your Storm (free verse)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quasar I R by : quasar
clip~
(D)ies the light of a star as night slides
away, into a Day of ultra violet's violent burn
that's bright. A life basks in it's blasts and
misses it not at night. Where I light, Quasar I R.
~~~~~~~~~
this poem seemed a bit hard to grasp
to use the words of liar "Cosmic"
Stellar poetry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Catholic Wonders Why msboy8
clip~
But I never ask, forgiveness for sin,
Knowing myself, I will do it again,
I cannot ask, I’ll perform the same sin,
A hypocrite, I think I will be then.
~~~~~~~~~
Familiar style ... a very endearing poem of
a souls wrestling with self conviction
and the primal urge, obviously well thought
out and a witty/humorous twist.
another poem posted today was ...
About Sex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pancakes catastrophe
clip~
My cream of wheat
poorly cooked
(with maple syrup
on top
because we have no
brown sugar)
is reminiscent
of pancakes.
~~~~~~~~~
a very humorous poem,
I love pancakes, hehehe
I liked this poem~
short stack of words <grin>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
laughing crow eagleyez
clip~
Suggestions of survival and arrays
of color begun like the surest bet
on both the yin and the yang.
~~~~~~~~~
okay ... I'm a sucker for the ying and yang
in life, but this poem is deep, insightfull and
mistique. A zen master poem so bring your
decoder ring but honestly this poem is very
unique and well worth a read. The crows steal
my cloths pins <grin> (my poem the theif )
the mystic black crow or raven illuminate
yet another powerful poem.
paramount poem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Musician ElusivButterfly
clip~
The musician on the stage
Lights go on
Beauty comes forth
I see what the music is telling me
I hear the beauty from within
The musician
~~~~~~~~~
short and sweet poem about a Musician,
nice write about the enchantment of a song,
Turning the spotlight on ...
The Musician, a Grand Poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chiromancer annaswirls
clip~
on the other side,
auger torn and cement pounded,
white hairline scratches mark
his earned identity
in fishing line and barbed wire.
~~~~~~~~~
'E'xcellent poetry
this poem ROCKS~ Okay I know ya'll got me
painted as a redneck from texas who lives
on an enchanting river and don't know poetry
from the bubble gum wrapper comic and joke
(which was great today by the way)~~
(well the boot fits hehehey!) but I loved this
fishing line and barbed wire, the whole POEM
is riddled with remarkable examples of annas
ability to charm a 'cotton mouth' with her words,
honest this poem is my pic for the day as I can
tell by the comments left that this poem is
adored by others as well, I read it several
times and feel as though I get a different
perspective of it everytime I read it and it's
enchanting as well as projecting a soul into
a tranquil image of memories in scars on a hand,
I've worked a few lathes and harnesses in my day,
so this poem say's it all for my scared hands
and the stories they tell.
I highly recommend reading this poem for a lesson on how to write a perfect poem, as well as it's content, thanks anna~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fist joeys_slave_girl
clip~
Begging and pleading, I squirm in my place -
three
Holding my breath, the anticipation on my face -
four
~~~~~~~~~
Interesting view point~
This poet has several poems post today as well ...
Begging ~
The Way~
Scene One~
Stay Still~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moonlight Message to readers hippiedude
clip~
and wonder why I am
compelled to speak to you
of such common things as these
~~~~~~~~~
Very clever write, I too am glad you do what you
do, hippiedude this a way cool poem, honest man,
love the way the mind questions in the dark
just before a dive into slumber, the moonlight that
is like a night light, the sound of those creatures
still awake was awesome imagry. very good poem.
Dream weaver poetry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
soldier monalisa2
clip~
away from this hell that continuously flashes
in my mind , yet is behind me.
that i cant shut off until i am released
those that died will be honored on a wall
those that survived will have to deal
with lifes expectations up ahead
remember all those that lost and risked their lives
so freedom reigns in the great u.s.a.
~~~~~~~~~
"Amen, sister"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Educated Fools UnclePervey
clip~
Almost every "Academian,"
Is just an "Educated Fool!"
Most of "Them" don't "Know" about real "Life,"
And they can't even "use" a "Tool!!"
~~~~~~~~~
In order to have a book you must have a book binder
in order to have a Congressional signature upon a
petition you have the loggers and truckers that truck
them to mill and sawdust shipped to be processed into
paper and then sold to companies that use the bulk of
sheets that is then drawn into a contract upheld by
lawyers and law and then carried out by those assigned
this task. There is a place for everything, and everything helps unify one instant, the whole is a cycle sometimes longer than life but anyway those educated fools are needed as well as the man with a tool for the mind is a tool so I may disagree with Uncle on this one but his right to freedom of write is expressed here and he also had a few other poems post as well ...
Boogie Woogy Tribe~
Git Up and Git~
A Pure Delight~
Brenda and Linda~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That concludes our joy ride on the words of the
new poems submitted and posted this saturday.
Please remain in your seats till the ride comes to
a complete stop and enjoy your stay here on ...
Earth.
**Note** please reply on the
thread designated for replies ...
......to keep the review thread clear
found in the same poetry feedback forum's list as this ...
thank You and grab a pen for today's poems were
inspirational~
Art~
Last edited:
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Tuesday 1-11-05
At the top of the list is quick dip by Ninja Nookie. It's a cute rhyme.
clothes on concrete
His and Hers pile
no thoughts of a suit
or even a towel
This poem has potential. There's a nice little story here that could be fleshed out a bit more. Free verse could possibly make that easier.
----------
flying ribbon
by seranade ©
winter's shroud
an overcast sky
of gray clouds
I know that seeing a flying ribbon winging its way south can be inspiring. Despite a few spots that could use an edit, this is basically quite good.
----------
On "Petting" a Siberian Tiger
Great poem with only two stanzas. Each ends with "touch - touch her" or "touch - touch there." Those two little phrases and the way they work with the rest of the poem simply make this an even better read.
----------
Next, a villanelle by Boo! A boovanelle.
Come walk awhile (a villanelle)
by BooMerengue ©
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me
as night descends we'll gather from the trees
the firelight that lets the day unwind,
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
This reminds me that I was going to work on a villanelle. Boo, you've inspired me to try again.
----------
I'm still reading. So, I'll post this first part and come back soon with more.
At the top of the list is quick dip by Ninja Nookie. It's a cute rhyme.
clothes on concrete
His and Hers pile
no thoughts of a suit
or even a towel
This poem has potential. There's a nice little story here that could be fleshed out a bit more. Free verse could possibly make that easier.
----------
flying ribbon
by seranade ©
winter's shroud
an overcast sky
of gray clouds
I know that seeing a flying ribbon winging its way south can be inspiring. Despite a few spots that could use an edit, this is basically quite good.
----------
On "Petting" a Siberian Tiger
Great poem with only two stanzas. Each ends with "touch - touch her" or "touch - touch there." Those two little phrases and the way they work with the rest of the poem simply make this an even better read.
----------
Next, a villanelle by Boo! A boovanelle.
Come walk awhile (a villanelle)
by BooMerengue ©
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me
as night descends we'll gather from the trees
the firelight that lets the day unwind,
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
This reminds me that I was going to work on a villanelle. Boo, you've inspired me to try again.
----------
I'm still reading. So, I'll post this first part and come back soon with more.
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Tuesday: more
Supa Dupa Poem
Supagirl u tripper,
swirl dis honey dipper.
To da b-b-b-bone, baby...where it fits soooo fine.
You oughta be a-tellin';
'taint mah wallet swellin'.
In da z-z-z-zone, baby...where it's yours n mine.
Yeah, Liar can write it, but can he read it out loud? Huh? I want to hear that.
So, anyway, here I am wallowing in the depths of jilted depression and I come across this poem. I think I almost smiled. If I was feeling all wicked and frisky, I'd be giggling and gleeful over Liar's poem. So, you go read it and get giggly for me.
-----------
Sex Poem
by flyguy69 ©
[...]
until the entire alphabet drawer, with its neat
rows of little shaker jars, gets sprinkled
into the bubbling pot of a poem.
[...]
[...]
On plain sheets there is only
the ardent accommodation of sore
backs and alarm clocks, whispers
of how nice it feels to touch. The poet
[...]
It was difficult to choose an excerpt, because I wanted to share it all with you. (Hey, Fly. I know I've read this. Did you resubmit it?) Anyway, great, great poem. Please read the entire piece and comment.
----------
Supa Dupa Poem
Supagirl u tripper,
swirl dis honey dipper.
To da b-b-b-bone, baby...where it fits soooo fine.
You oughta be a-tellin';
'taint mah wallet swellin'.
In da z-z-z-zone, baby...where it's yours n mine.
Yeah, Liar can write it, but can he read it out loud? Huh? I want to hear that.
So, anyway, here I am wallowing in the depths of jilted depression and I come across this poem. I think I almost smiled. If I was feeling all wicked and frisky, I'd be giggling and gleeful over Liar's poem. So, you go read it and get giggly for me.
-----------
Sex Poem
by flyguy69 ©
[...]
until the entire alphabet drawer, with its neat
rows of little shaker jars, gets sprinkled
into the bubbling pot of a poem.
[...]
[...]
On plain sheets there is only
the ardent accommodation of sore
backs and alarm clocks, whispers
of how nice it feels to touch. The poet
[...]
It was difficult to choose an excerpt, because I wanted to share it all with you. (Hey, Fly. I know I've read this. Did you resubmit it?) Anyway, great, great poem. Please read the entire piece and comment.
----------
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Tuesday: once more
Still reading, but I'm getting there. I'm trying to get the reviews posted as I go so you don't have to wait all morning for me to do the entire thing. It takes time to read a poem, gulp 2 cups of coffee, pee, read a poem, more coffee, make another pot, another poem, cry for 15 minutes, spell check a word I know but suddenly can't remember if I spelled it right. Oh, the drama of the poetry review!
Another villanelle!
Beach Villanelle
by sandspike ©
talking long and lean my beauty queen
dressed up in colors that soothe this bloke
aquamarine, you know what I mean?
Many villanelles are dark and moody, but sandspike gives us beaches and beauty queen. This is a really nice read.
----------
The Snake Charmer
by Du Lac ©
Oh dear muse
you stand in the shadows of fallen oaks
like a torrent rain your empty words
drenching your soul, denial forever to soak
A good poem by du lac. Worth a read, comment and vote.
-----------
Provoked
by flyguy69 ©
Senescent flesh slips
from luminous bone;
a thing revealed, blinking
in the rosy dawn.
Another excellent poem by flyguy.
There are many good poems posted every day, and only a few that really shouldn't be missed. Read this one.
----------
Still reading, but I'm getting there. I'm trying to get the reviews posted as I go so you don't have to wait all morning for me to do the entire thing. It takes time to read a poem, gulp 2 cups of coffee, pee, read a poem, more coffee, make another pot, another poem, cry for 15 minutes, spell check a word I know but suddenly can't remember if I spelled it right. Oh, the drama of the poetry review!
Another villanelle!
Beach Villanelle
by sandspike ©
talking long and lean my beauty queen
dressed up in colors that soothe this bloke
aquamarine, you know what I mean?
Many villanelles are dark and moody, but sandspike gives us beaches and beauty queen. This is a really nice read.
----------
The Snake Charmer
by Du Lac ©
Oh dear muse
you stand in the shadows of fallen oaks
like a torrent rain your empty words
drenching your soul, denial forever to soak
A good poem by du lac. Worth a read, comment and vote.
-----------
Provoked
by flyguy69 ©
Senescent flesh slips
from luminous bone;
a thing revealed, blinking
in the rosy dawn.
Another excellent poem by flyguy.
There are many good poems posted every day, and only a few that really shouldn't be missed. Read this one.----------
twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
You have a squirrel in your ear?WickedEve said:
Since modesty will preclude eve from reviewing her own stuff.
This
jilted prayer
has to be the dearest sweetest prayer from one of the dearest sweetest women around
"ps... god. your little angel here. "
I think we should all hold hands and pray...that we don't get dizzy
a must... must...must...must
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Angeline, god's other little angel, thank you.twelveoone said:
Boo, I agree. It's hard to tackle a dozen poems all by the same poet. I'm trying to read through them now.
12, the squirrel and I request that you do not ask us about what happened. We're traumatized. His fur is falling out. I've lost my ability to get my feet over my head. This is a tragedy.
Edited to add this poem I just read: No need for anything else by jameschristopher ©
Not bad at all. I just don't agree with his choice of line breaks.
Last edited:
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Constellations
by foehn ©
a knowledge of their various parts –
the small, hot hearts –
the little points where lines might meet.
Their heads and feet
This poems uses a very simple rhyme scheme. But it works. In my book, this poet and a few others are the only poets allowed to write rhyming poems like this.
by foehn ©
a knowledge of their various parts –
the small, hot hearts –
the little points where lines might meet.
Their heads and feet
This poems uses a very simple rhyme scheme. But it works. In my book, this poet and a few others are the only poets allowed to write rhyming poems like this.
G
Guest
Guest
1/12 New Poems
Hello Poets
It's a cold, groggy morning in Seattle, but I found some poetry that I thought was interesting and a great "wake me up" instead of all the coffee I normally drink... cutting back on caffeine (that resolution will be broken by the end of the month.)
New to me poet, hotti brings us a this descriptive piece, Elemental. I really enjoyed her opening stanza; unique and intresting, eye-catching Mr Short-Attention Span's mind (well for a moment at least.) Although, I do think this is very calming, pretty piece of work here:
That's it folks, what I thought was good poetry. Go out and support your own kind. Comment, vote or what not as you get what you give.
- neo
Hello Poets
It's a cold, groggy morning in Seattle, but I found some poetry that I thought was interesting and a great "wake me up" instead of all the coffee I normally drink... cutting back on caffeine (that resolution will be broken by the end of the month.)
New to me poet, hotti brings us a this descriptive piece, Elemental. I really enjoyed her opening stanza; unique and intresting, eye-catching Mr Short-Attention Span's mind (well for a moment at least.)
spence5969' s Adoration also had a few opening lines that I liked. This is a fresh look on often seen theme. Breaking this poem up in three different stanzas would've done this poem nicely, I think.
jthserra will have to forgive me since I don't work with forms because I believe, Waiting for the Tide is one, but I suffer CRS.
Although, I do think this is very calming, pretty piece of work here:
My Erotic Tale' s erotic piece, float made me snicker reading "lager root in dairy-air". Fresh metaphor, delivered with sly humor. Great stuff
annaswirls's painted white, wraps up my review. I am not going to pretend and say I understand anna's poem this morning (then again, I haven't had my required pot of coffee to bathe my brain in caffeine either.), although I do enjoy this stanza in particular because it's so cold in Seattle:
That's it folks, what I thought was good poetry. Go out and support your own kind. Comment, vote or what not as you get what you give.
- neo
Last edited by a moderator:
jthserra
Thousand Cranes
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 678
You know, it is always nice when
you stumble on a poem that works, really works. With some interesting phrasing, mummys dirty angel's poem uses such gentle language that I was immediately carried into the poem, there in that state between sleep and consciousness where, as part of the poem, I witnessed the Departing .
Take a peek at the poem and see how the language actually makes you feel the poem as you read it.
jim : )
you stumble on a poem that works, really works. With some interesting phrasing, mummys dirty angel's poem uses such gentle language that I was immediately carried into the poem, there in that state between sleep and consciousness where, as part of the poem, I witnessed the Departing .
Take a peek at the poem and see how the language actually makes you feel the poem as you read it.
jim : )
Liar
now with 17% more class
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2003
- Posts
- 43,715
Yesterday's reviews...
Hulloh, poets. I'm writing this at a friend's place, since my own computer decided that it was time to take a trip to the land of Fubar (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair).
I only got a few minutes. But I did manage to read the poems, and at least give you the list of what I thought was good.
Inside Looking Out
by LadyCibelle ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180515
Semaphore Sorrow
by neonurotic ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180622
Oxygen
by Poetic Collaboration ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180617
Hypoxia
by Poetic Collaboration ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180615
Being There by Chance
by Angeline ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180631
To Vera-Ellen in Yellow
by jthserra ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180626
History
by foehn ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180595
Smoke Break
by The_Fool ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180630
Departing
by mummys dirty angel ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180586
Hulloh, poets. I'm writing this at a friend's place, since my own computer decided that it was time to take a trip to the land of Fubar (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair).
I only got a few minutes. But I did manage to read the poems, and at least give you the list of what I thought was good.
Inside Looking Out
by LadyCibelle ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180515
Semaphore Sorrow
by neonurotic ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180622
Oxygen
by Poetic Collaboration ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180617
Hypoxia
by Poetic Collaboration ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180615
Being There by Chance
by Angeline ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180631
To Vera-Ellen in Yellow
by jthserra ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180626
History
by foehn ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180595
Smoke Break
by The_Fool ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180630
Departing
by mummys dirty angel ©
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=180586
Tathagata
Lazarus Monkey
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2004
- Posts
- 24,721
Fridays reviews
As always the opinions expressed herein are solely those of the reviewer and should not be construed as in any way reflecting the thoughts of other Literoticans...if they indeed have any
and now..
on with the Opera!!
Play it Don.
Hydro Max - msboy8
this would be a great poem for a child to read or be read.
the rhymes are simple and clear, the pace is comfortable, and the subject would be perfect for a child's imagination.
10 or 20 more of these would make a great children's poetry book
New York Tendaberry - Angeline
As I was reading the first couple of verses I was thinking.." Wow..this is kind of subpar for ange"
ex;
Ordinary language and images, unwary?? Suspicious??
Hmmm??
then Ange takes over
oh look honey...JAZZ
and from that point on the poem is wonderful.
the language and internal rhymes, the stutter steps that remind me of a Van Morrison singing at the end of Wavelength.
I wondered if perhaps that was the point..the lull and then the explosion of Laura..
Music does this too.
My problem, and I suspect the problem with others, is that in this push button age our attention span is almost nil..
I give a song 30-1 minute seconds and if it hasn't " done anything for me" I delete it.
it does explode, the Wizard of Oz going from black and white to Color..but you may want to jazz up the first couple just a smidgen to get them to the banquet.
certainly worth a read
back to work
Winter Solstice - hippiedude
I liked this poem for the line :
the rest of it is a rather clever look at winter in an angular fashion
in fantasy - wicked eve
this is a very ( to me) erotic poem that speaks of desire in the darkness.
and perhaps regret.
with some wonderful line breaks to accentuate the important words...you feel the yearning
who wouldn't like to be begged by Eve??
read it
travel - senna jawa
some interesting word play..the poem has the weary " jet lag" feel to it.
I liked the last two lines..to me it brought it full circle
though I can see where " mirror'll" may have been a strange choice
over all certainly worth reading
Never Trust a Fisherman- sandspike
a quirky look at , shall we say, girl watching, at a bar.
I liked this alot
some great lines ( I won't spoil the ending) but here's a sample verse
I liked the pacing alot..and the feel of it was, to me like Roxy Music's " Love is a Drug"
I'd like to say there were several submissions by kari4kings and freehawk
many of the poems had some good ideas and some interesting language .
it is best if you don't submit more than one or two poems at a time...that way it is easier to get an idea of your style and to give you feedback on what can be done to improve your work.
freehawk has some nice rhymes but they feel forced in places..try writing some free verse..or a different meter and rhyme scheme.
in other words try a poem where the first two line rhyme and the second two lines rhyme
or write one that doesn't rhyme at all but limit yourself to no more than 10 syllables a line
kari4kings - your poems read like paragraphs from stories
which isn't a bad thing...but for poetry, try and chop them into the most important sentences
try breaking them in different places and see if it changes how the feeling comes across.
try saying what you are saying in less words
let the reader fill in the blanks...don't worry about being " vague" most people here will get it and if they don't they'll ask
ok that's it for today for me
back to work
hope everyone has a great weekend
be well
As always the opinions expressed herein are solely those of the reviewer and should not be construed as in any way reflecting the thoughts of other Literoticans...if they indeed have any
and now..
on with the Opera!!
Play it Don.
Hydro Max - msboy8
this would be a great poem for a child to read or be read.
the rhymes are simple and clear, the pace is comfortable, and the subject would be perfect for a child's imagination.
10 or 20 more of these would make a great children's poetry book
New York Tendaberry - Angeline
As I was reading the first couple of verses I was thinking.." Wow..this is kind of subpar for ange"
ex;
Ordinary language and images, unwary?? Suspicious??
Hmmm??
then Ange takes over
oh look honey...JAZZ
and from that point on the poem is wonderful.
the language and internal rhymes, the stutter steps that remind me of a Van Morrison singing at the end of Wavelength.
I wondered if perhaps that was the point..the lull and then the explosion of Laura..
Music does this too.
My problem, and I suspect the problem with others, is that in this push button age our attention span is almost nil..
I give a song 30-1 minute seconds and if it hasn't " done anything for me" I delete it.
it does explode, the Wizard of Oz going from black and white to Color..but you may want to jazz up the first couple just a smidgen to get them to the banquet.
certainly worth a read
back to work
Winter Solstice - hippiedude
I liked this poem for the line :
the rest of it is a rather clever look at winter in an angular fashion
in fantasy - wicked eve
this is a very ( to me) erotic poem that speaks of desire in the darkness.
and perhaps regret.
with some wonderful line breaks to accentuate the important words...you feel the yearning
who wouldn't like to be begged by Eve??
read it
travel - senna jawa
some interesting word play..the poem has the weary " jet lag" feel to it.
I liked the last two lines..to me it brought it full circle
though I can see where " mirror'll" may have been a strange choice
over all certainly worth reading
Never Trust a Fisherman- sandspike
a quirky look at , shall we say, girl watching, at a bar.
I liked this alot
some great lines ( I won't spoil the ending) but here's a sample verse
I liked the pacing alot..and the feel of it was, to me like Roxy Music's " Love is a Drug"
I'd like to say there were several submissions by kari4kings and freehawk
many of the poems had some good ideas and some interesting language .
it is best if you don't submit more than one or two poems at a time...that way it is easier to get an idea of your style and to give you feedback on what can be done to improve your work.
freehawk has some nice rhymes but they feel forced in places..try writing some free verse..or a different meter and rhyme scheme.
in other words try a poem where the first two line rhyme and the second two lines rhyme
or write one that doesn't rhyme at all but limit yourself to no more than 10 syllables a line
kari4kings - your poems read like paragraphs from stories
which isn't a bad thing...but for poetry, try and chop them into the most important sentences
try breaking them in different places and see if it changes how the feeling comes across.
try saying what you are saying in less words
let the reader fill in the blanks...don't worry about being " vague" most people here will get it and if they don't they'll ask
ok that's it for today for me
back to work
hope everyone has a great weekend
be well
Last edited:
My Erotic Tale
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2004
- Posts
- 3,359
Poems Review
New Poem Review
Saturday Jan 15, 2005
hello poets, today's list of new poems
offered some very good reading, first on the list was Untitled stacistata
human voices
spare no heart
life is cruel
so who is not
this poem has excellent flow when reading
and a witty charm to it, can't wait to see what
the title becomes!
also posted today was ...
Death's Grip ~
You Give Good Words
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Last Diary Entry Randi Grail
but chase a growing ripple
on this once tranquil sea
until it reaches my horizon,
then beyond, and into me.
a very touching read about the
last entry into a Diary, with some very
clever lines, an eye opening read.
Moving~
a gem of a poem~
~~~~~~~~~~
Whispered Wants RazzRajen
clip
when the needs lighten; and I waft to her `
the ether rings
in loud clangs of softed whispers;
eyes glean what they will
from the souls windows
decifer the wants from the need
in this endearing poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liquid Love Masochist Toy
Clip~
i crave the liquid
That He provides
It is a desire
i cannot control.
erotic poem, a slaves love?
an expression in words
poetry~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fullfillment petalsonfire
CLIP
Pretending to be your call-girl one night,
strutting my stuff,looking just right.
At your front door in my spike heeled boots,
anxious to see if the outfit suits.
obviously very thought-out
this poem seemed familiar, perhaps
the poets style and words,
the poem was ... "Wonderfully erotic!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enough whispering Breeze
clip~
Don't know how much more I can take,
the weight you put on me isn't mine but I break,
slowly I start my downward slide,
to my knees I fall but I'm not letting go my pride.
the play with words was amusing
'Enough'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Erotic SnowBunny Dream chezcubby1
clip
You scream out for me, and I for you.
Orgasms explode, then its over again, this time,
my breath returns to normal, but you're not here .
Its only another dream, fantasy playing in my mind!!
I love the name of this poem, hehehe
and the ending, the way it played out
after a vigorous and exhileratring 'Hot' read~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Transcriptus Absurdus normal jean
clip
Don't get me wrong now,
I won't go as far as to say
they brought it all on themselves
But sometimes I just have to wonder...
Now, I do agree, Your Honor,
that Freddie had a choice to make,
that choice being;
to kill them, or not to kill them,
there's nothing normal about
normal jeans poem, this was a 'Hoot'
<chuckleboned> excellent perspective
with a witty mix of humor and reality
iced over with fantasy, <grinin'>
~~~~~~~~``~~~~~~~~
Crusin slaughter69s
clip
Bike fires,thunder...
out of the parking lot...
back on the road...
wind in his hair.....smile on his face........
'69 Bonnie' <grin>
and never ever ever does any body
ever make it for just one beer ...they
multiply, erotic kick ass poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Don't Hate HannaDeepAsleep
I don't hate this poem~
<grin> loved it ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
abida abida that's all folks ~
New Poem Review
Saturday Jan 15, 2005
hello poets, today's list of new poems
offered some very good reading, first on the list was Untitled stacistata
human voices
spare no heart
life is cruel
so who is not
this poem has excellent flow when reading
and a witty charm to it, can't wait to see what
the title becomes!
also posted today was ...
Death's Grip ~
You Give Good Words
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Last Diary Entry Randi Grail
but chase a growing ripple
on this once tranquil sea
until it reaches my horizon,
then beyond, and into me.
a very touching read about the
last entry into a Diary, with some very
clever lines, an eye opening read.
Moving~
a gem of a poem~
~~~~~~~~~~
Whispered Wants RazzRajen
clip
when the needs lighten; and I waft to her `
the ether rings
in loud clangs of softed whispers;
eyes glean what they will
from the souls windows
decifer the wants from the need
in this endearing poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liquid Love Masochist Toy
Clip~
i crave the liquid
That He provides
It is a desire
i cannot control.
erotic poem, a slaves love?
an expression in words
poetry~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fullfillment petalsonfire
CLIP
Pretending to be your call-girl one night,
strutting my stuff,looking just right.
At your front door in my spike heeled boots,
anxious to see if the outfit suits.
obviously very thought-out
this poem seemed familiar, perhaps
the poets style and words,
the poem was ... "Wonderfully erotic!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enough whispering Breeze
clip~
Don't know how much more I can take,
the weight you put on me isn't mine but I break,
slowly I start my downward slide,
to my knees I fall but I'm not letting go my pride.
the play with words was amusing
'Enough'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Erotic SnowBunny Dream chezcubby1
clip
You scream out for me, and I for you.
Orgasms explode, then its over again, this time,
my breath returns to normal, but you're not here .
Its only another dream, fantasy playing in my mind!!
I love the name of this poem, hehehe
and the ending, the way it played out
after a vigorous and exhileratring 'Hot' read~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Transcriptus Absurdus normal jean
clip
Don't get me wrong now,
I won't go as far as to say
they brought it all on themselves
But sometimes I just have to wonder...
Now, I do agree, Your Honor,
that Freddie had a choice to make,
that choice being;
to kill them, or not to kill them,
there's nothing normal about
normal jeans poem, this was a 'Hoot'
<chuckleboned> excellent perspective
with a witty mix of humor and reality
iced over with fantasy, <grinin'>
~~~~~~~~``~~~~~~~~
Crusin slaughter69s
clip
Bike fires,thunder...
out of the parking lot...
back on the road...
wind in his hair.....smile on his face........
'69 Bonnie' <grin>
and never ever ever does any body
ever make it for just one beer ...they
multiply, erotic kick ass poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Don't Hate HannaDeepAsleep
I don't hate this poem~
<grin> loved it ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
abida abida that's all folks ~
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WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Sunday
Do we not have a Sunday reviewer? I can't keep up with who's doing reviews and who's not. I'm just now reading the poems and not a lot of comments, people. And the board is slow. It must be a Sunday thing.
I just finished reading a really good poem by steve porter: Kalukalukalu
My uncle once showed me when he
Was very much alive in Manhattan,
And I was young and in good health.
LOOKING EAST ON 4TH AND C
CHULA VISTA, CALIF.
By John Baldessari, 1967,
Photo transfer, an acrylic on canvas,
A bland, disturbing black and white
Portrait of a dismal American vista,
Windshield passenger point of view,
Thick, black, vertical poles, slant of
Electric lines and smog choke of sky.
Hopefully, the title and excerpt will be enough to tempt you to read and comment on this poem.
I'll try to mention a few more tonight. If you've read any good poems today, then let us know!
Do we not have a Sunday reviewer? I can't keep up with who's doing reviews and who's not. I'm just now reading the poems and not a lot of comments, people. And the board is slow. It must be a Sunday thing.
I just finished reading a really good poem by steve porter: Kalukalukalu
My uncle once showed me when he
Was very much alive in Manhattan,
And I was young and in good health.
LOOKING EAST ON 4TH AND C
CHULA VISTA, CALIF.
By John Baldessari, 1967,
Photo transfer, an acrylic on canvas,
A bland, disturbing black and white
Portrait of a dismal American vista,
Windshield passenger point of view,
Thick, black, vertical poles, slant of
Electric lines and smog choke of sky.
Hopefully, the title and excerpt will be enough to tempt you to read and comment on this poem.
I'll try to mention a few more tonight. If you've read any good poems today, then let us know!
sack
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2003
- Posts
- 579
Let's see...
I don't know how to do links, but I did enjoy the following poems today (1/16/05):
Coyote Calling- Seranade
A really interesting portrayal, evocative!
Mystery- Tathagata
This poet is the only one I NEVER comment on....how can you improve perfection?? Of course fabulous, we minions can try but will never equal Tath's ability or insight!
Foehn's new poem about the Tsunami was excellent also, "Mis-Naut". Of course, any story or poem by this extremely gifted individual is worth reading.
I also enjoyed SummerMorning's entry about snow and ice, White Snowfields Unfinished. This poem could be interpreted two ways, and I'm not sure which one the author was implying. Read it, in any case... an important addition to Literotica and this is a poet to watch!
Sack
I confess I did not get the simple joke in The Mutt's Catskill. If someone is rolling on the floor in laughter, on the other hand, private message me with your "interpretation"!
I don't know how to do links, but I did enjoy the following poems today (1/16/05):
Coyote Calling- Seranade
A really interesting portrayal, evocative!
Mystery- Tathagata
This poet is the only one I NEVER comment on....how can you improve perfection?? Of course fabulous, we minions can try but will never equal Tath's ability or insight!
Foehn's new poem about the Tsunami was excellent also, "Mis-Naut". Of course, any story or poem by this extremely gifted individual is worth reading.
I also enjoyed SummerMorning's entry about snow and ice, White Snowfields Unfinished. This poem could be interpreted two ways, and I'm not sure which one the author was implying. Read it, in any case... an important addition to Literotica and this is a poet to watch!
Sack
I confess I did not get the simple joke in The Mutt's Catskill. If someone is rolling on the floor in laughter, on the other hand, private message me with your "interpretation"!
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WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Monday and Tuesday
I'll be away for awhile, but when I get back later today I'll do the Tuesday and Monday reviews. I would have done Monday's yesterday but I thought it was covered. Maria is no longer doing Monday. Is anyone covering it, or does anyone want to?
~
I see no one volunteered to do poems for Monday or Tuesday. Shoot! Okay, I'll go read and comment. I'm all weird at the moment so god have mercy on you all!
I'll be back.
~
Okay, Let's start out with a little HATE!
I Hate The Sky
by champagne1982 ©
Serenely blue, roiling black
or clearly midnight shaded,
through all of it there is
the presence of white.
I just love the line about the presence of white. Did I say love? I meant, uh, hate.
More HATE:
What I hate (a triolet)
by BooMerengue ©
If you would know the things I hate
you'd wonder at my memories
and fold your arms and then berate
if you would know the things I hate.
Boo Hates with her triolet. She has a different approach. Champ hates the sky and tells us why, but Boo is bit more mysterious and leaves me wondering about her memories.
And OT HATES, too. He gives us a worthy hate with:
I Hate Time
by OT ©
depleting passion
with ticking and tocking
mocking with mirrors
showing shadows that sag
Great lines with ticking and tocking and mocking.
Once again, Boo HATES:
What I hate... (a sonnet)
by BooMerengue ©
I hate it when you say you know me well
and then you ask me why I cry at night
you plot and scheme so that you can be right
and all the time I'm hiding in my shell
This left me feeling a bit sad.
Please read all the poems that were inspired by the Hate Thread.
I will return soon with more poetry.
I'll be away for awhile, but when I get back later today I'll do the Tuesday and Monday reviews. I would have done Monday's yesterday but I thought it was covered. Maria is no longer doing Monday. Is anyone covering it, or does anyone want to?
~
I see no one volunteered to do poems for Monday or Tuesday. Shoot!
Okay, I'll go read and comment. I'm all weird at the moment so god have mercy on you all!I'll be back.
~
Okay, Let's start out with a little HATE!
I Hate The Sky
by champagne1982 ©
Serenely blue, roiling black
or clearly midnight shaded,
through all of it there is
the presence of white.
I just love the line about the presence of white. Did I say love? I meant, uh, hate.
More HATE:
What I hate (a triolet)
by BooMerengue ©
If you would know the things I hate
you'd wonder at my memories
and fold your arms and then berate
if you would know the things I hate.
Boo Hates with her triolet. She has a different approach. Champ hates the sky and tells us why, but Boo is bit more mysterious and leaves me wondering about her memories.
And OT HATES, too. He gives us a worthy hate with:
I Hate Time
by OT ©
depleting passion
with ticking and tocking
mocking with mirrors
showing shadows that sag
Great lines with ticking and tocking and mocking.
Once again, Boo HATES:
What I hate... (a sonnet)
by BooMerengue ©
I hate it when you say you know me well
and then you ask me why I cry at night
you plot and scheme so that you can be right
and all the time I'm hiding in my shell
This left me feeling a bit sad.
Please read all the poems that were inspired by the Hate Thread.
I will return soon with more poetry.
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WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Tuesday Part 2
Make sure to check out the "Hate" poems in the above post.
Passion's rehabilitation
by Ginger_Anne ©
We are addicted to the same drug.
It oozes from pores as vapor and slick
spit and fingered, both greedy for the last
lick of fingers like batter from the bowl.
Now that's greedy. Love the finger/batter description.
By the way, this is Ginger Anne's first submission at lit, so please welcome her with comments and votes.
----------
Broken Dreams
by RazzRajen ©
Twisted was the frond, gasping
the hewn channeled troughs
like becalmned sails
over fused silica
Razz is a poet who has recently returned with some new poetry. His words are always quite interesting and I hope you'll take a moment to check out his latest offering.
Make sure to check out the "Hate" poems in the above post.
Passion's rehabilitation
by Ginger_Anne ©
We are addicted to the same drug.
It oozes from pores as vapor and slick
spit and fingered, both greedy for the last
lick of fingers like batter from the bowl.
Now that's greedy. Love the finger/batter description.
By the way, this is Ginger Anne's first submission at lit, so please welcome her with comments and votes.
----------
Broken Dreams
by RazzRajen ©
Twisted was the frond, gasping
the hewn channeled troughs
like becalmned sails
over fused silica
Razz is a poet who has recently returned with some new poetry. His words are always quite interesting and I hope you'll take a moment to check out his latest offering.
duckiesmut
1....2....65...374
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2003
- Posts
- 810
Monday's reviews...Just my thoughts, so please have mercy.
Planet of Apes
By Randy Grail
This image is delicious…
“There, when I lap
dew from your skin
and dawn from your eyes,
we will lay modern man to rest.”
…as is the rest of the poem…now go scurry and read it.
Bags
By spence5969
“Cast away, adrift
in the crush of humanity,
a lack of sanity
pervades the day.”
I’m often not a fan of rhyme in poetry, but this segment caught and held my eye.
sex before sleep in the dark
By MaxiFree4
“Your voice is like throaty joy
Wriggling up my thighs
Trembling in my joints
Quieter than a whimpered sigh.”
I had to go take a walk after reading this one at work. “Throaty joy” gets me every time. The third stanza took me a few reads, and I’m still fairly certain it could use some re-working (but the second more than makes up for it ).
Surrender, Seratonin!
By Angeline
“Who wants to go ballroom dancing
with those besotted neurons misfiring,
pissing anxiety down my spine?”
I think I’m in love with your ability to use mix-matched words that produce such perfect mental pictures. The breakneck speed of the poem slips into a lulling, reflective end.
Sweet Dreams
By Substance
Too sweet not to mention, and too short to include a clip.
Planet of Apes
By Randy Grail
This image is delicious…
“There, when I lap
dew from your skin
and dawn from your eyes,
we will lay modern man to rest.”
…as is the rest of the poem…now go scurry and read it.
Bags
By spence5969
“Cast away, adrift
in the crush of humanity,
a lack of sanity
pervades the day.”
I’m often not a fan of rhyme in poetry, but this segment caught and held my eye.
sex before sleep in the dark
By MaxiFree4
“Your voice is like throaty joy
Wriggling up my thighs
Trembling in my joints
Quieter than a whimpered sigh.”
I had to go take a walk after reading this one at work. “Throaty joy” gets me every time. The third stanza took me a few reads, and I’m still fairly certain it could use some re-working (but the second more than makes up for it
).Surrender, Seratonin!
By Angeline
“Who wants to go ballroom dancing
with those besotted neurons misfiring,
pissing anxiety down my spine?”
I think I’m in love with your ability to use mix-matched words that produce such perfect mental pictures.
The breakneck speed of the poem slips into a lulling, reflective end. Sweet Dreams
By Substance
Too sweet not to mention, and too short to include a clip.
Last edited:
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
More Tuesday
I'm still trying to read the poems. Sorry to be such a slow poke, today.
Lullaby
by Tathagata ©
Hidden from blinding sunrise
Concealed from incalculable night
I'll sprinkle you with dreams
This is wonderfully lovely.
Edited to add the happyhooker:
still wet
Frustration! gripped my body,
You stopped! This cannot be.
But then you led me back,
To the deserted, B&B.
( The tele room, the leather chair,
Your tongue on my clit, my legs in the air,
Whipped up a frenzy in my brain,
Until I thought I’d go insane.)
It's rhyming erotica but it does have some fun moments and happyhooker did a good job with the rhyme.
I'm still trying to read the poems. Sorry to be such a slow poke, today.
Lullaby
by Tathagata ©
Hidden from blinding sunrise
Concealed from incalculable night
I'll sprinkle you with dreams
This is wonderfully lovely.
Edited to add the happyhooker:
still wet
Frustration! gripped my body,
You stopped! This cannot be.
But then you led me back,
To the deserted, B&B.
( The tele room, the leather chair,
Your tongue on my clit, my legs in the air,
Whipped up a frenzy in my brain,
Until I thought I’d go insane.)
It's rhyming erotica but it does have some fun moments and happyhooker did a good job with the rhyme.
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G
Guest
Guest
Wednesday, 1/19
Hello Poets
Who would've guessed it? It's about to rain again in Seattle. ha—but at least it's warm enough I can wear shorts, eh? There is nothing dull about the new poems that hit the new list this morning, and here is a couple that I enjoyed out of them...
Eleanora Day's continuing literary art piece, Amante XIII falls on my day for review and I am glad. The feeling in poem reads like homemade comfort in a bowl.
- neo
Hello Poets
Who would've guessed it? It's about to rain again in Seattle. ha—but at least it's warm enough I can wear shorts, eh? There is nothing dull about the new poems that hit the new list this morning, and here is a couple that I enjoyed out of them...
Eleanora Day's continuing literary art piece, Amante XIII falls on my day for review and I am glad. The feeling in poem reads like homemade comfort in a bowl.
Randi Grail's witty write, Musings On A Cock AV had me snickering (actually guffawing coffee on my monitor) in the Suddenly Passion thread and here I remain.
That's all folks, what I considered good poetry. Go out support your own by commenting, voting and have a happy kind of a day .
- neo
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