Do men really care if their partner cums?

Hubs always makes sure I orgasm several times. He also takes a long time to come though, and I easily have multiple orgasms.
 
Of course

If your partner cums, thasss a good sign U get invited back for seconds. And, you get the delight of seeing another human in total bliss.
 
I care. It is even more important that she cum first or that we can cum together
 
I feel cheated and a little hurt if my partner doesn't cum. However, the demands of life occasionally win and make it too difficult for her. In those times I've come to understand I'll do more harm than good if I keep trying. I let her guide me and my efforts for the best outcome for her.

That is absolutely the most sensible answer I've seen here. It's rare that my wife doesn't cum...and cum first, but there are those moments as beautifully described above.

My frustration is sometimes trying to get her to cum again. When we first became intimate she told me she never has multiple orgasms, but as a couple we have proven that to be wrong but it doesn't always happen (especially as we age) and we certainly don't always try for that lofty goal.

There are, however, those rare occasions that we have to realize that there's more to intimacy and pleasure than an orgasm. This is a two way street and I'm sometimes the one that doesn't ejaculate. I specifically say "ejaculate", as opposed to climaxing or cumming, as there are times that the pleasurable sensations are great, and I feel that I've cum, sometimes over and over again, without ejaculating. This is especially true when I'm on the receptive end during anal play but also during vanilla intercourse.

We've realized over many years of a great marriage, and in attempting to age gracefully together, that no one is to blame if one of us doesn't cum and no one needs to feel guilty. We still revel in the afterglow of intimacy and the pleasure at our lover's touch.
 
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That is absolutely the most sensible answer I've seen here. It's rare that my wife doesn't cum...and cum first, but there are those moments as beautifully described above.

My frustration is sometimes trying to get her to cum again. When we first became intimate she told me she never has multiple orgasms, but as a couple we have proven that to be wrong but it doesn't always happen (especially as we age) and we certainly don't always try for that lofty goal.

There are, however, those rare occasions that we have to realize that there's more to intimacy and pleasure than an orgasm. This is a two way street and I'm sometimes the one that doesn't ejaculate. I specifically say "ejaculate", as opposed to climaxing or cumming, as there are times that the pleasurable sensations are great, and I feel that I've cum, sometimes over and over again, without ejaculating. This is especially true when I'm on the receptive end during anal play but also during vanilla intercourse.

We've realized over many years of a great marriage, and in attempting to age gracefully together, that no one is to blame if one of us doesn't cum and no one needs to feel guilty. We still revel in the afterglow of intimacy and the pleasure at our lover's touch.

You make some great points and I like the quote you used also.

I love the way this discussion has blossomed, I hope this is okay with the originator of this thread. I think what some of us are trying to do is look at the big picture of a intimate relationship. Sometimes orgasm is not easy. I have been with a lady who could have multiple orgasms and could cum easily. However even with her there were times when I could tell she had a "dud" orgasm or just not as intense as our last session and I ended up feeling bad. It wasn't until much later did I realize the ups and downs of relationships as well as family/society that can effect things in the bedroom. I am still learning today but a general concern for your woman and her needs will include her orgasms as well as deeper needs of intimacy, touching, and loving.

As far as my orgasms go, I also have found there are many ways I can cum. Some of these don't include ejaculation. For example, sometimes my gf gets on top of me and while we are kissing she ends up dry humping herself to orgasm against my pubic bone. When she eventually cums, I find my body also tightening up, pleasure flowing through me as I hold her tight. It feels wonderful even though I don't ejaculate. It feels very similar to an orgasm. Maybe women have similar experiences, but the key to me is it only works in a relationship where I am in love with the woman.

ES
 
For me it has always been more important that my partner comes than I do, but I suspect that is part on my inherent submissiveness.

I do recall a 'joke' when I was at High School in the early 1970's: "How does a real man know when his girlfriend has come? A 'real man' doesn't care." I didn't laugh at it then and 45 years later it still isn't amusing.
 
Yes

Yes, guys do care, if the responses here are representative. Though I've known women who've told me that their boyfriends or husbands don't care at all! Mystery.
 
I think caring if a woman or man cums is a small part of a big picture. A considerate lover in bed is a considerate person outside of bed. A selfish love in bed is selfish out of bed.
 
I care very much. A lot of the pleasure I get from sex is satisfying my partner.
 
Yes, guys do care, if the responses here are representative. Though I've known women who've told me that their boyfriends or husbands don't care at all! Mystery.

I guess that people here are more open about the pleasures of sex, and thus the importance of pleasuring the partner.
 
I think caring if a woman or man cums is a small part of a big picture. A considerate lover in bed is a considerate person outside of bed. A selfish love in bed is selfish out of bed.
Great thought and I completely agree.
/snip
That is great that you can satisfy your partner with no thought of reciprocation. Many times as men, we are trained to satisfy the woman first with no thought of our own pleasure. It is nice when you are in a relationship and the woman can take over, telling the man to sit back and just enjoy himself.
I think society, in general is moving in a matriarchy direction. I have had decent lovers but never had one whose only concern was my orgasm or how much I was enjoying myself. Which is perplexing to me because although I am not necessarily an orgasm chaser during sex, I prefer to focus on atmosphere, the end goal should be release of sexual tension right? I can't wrap my head around why wouldn't you want that - no matter the gender or sexuality. If he is laying back, I'm going to get mine before he gets his. Guaranteed.
 
Of course. If my climax is my only consideration then I may as well just masturbate. I want to see her come....as often as possible.

When I am chatting here I probably come once for every 5-10 orgasms my partner tells me she has. Of course, I'm often at work so I don't have much of a choice 😆
 
Of course

Every man wants his partner to cum; he knows how good it feels. I always want to be invited back for seconds. My woman will cum in 3 minutes and I know she loves it. My Daddy cums too, and I know he likes it.
 
I had one lover that thought it was all about him and never took care of me. Needless to say we didn't last long
 
I had one lover that thought it was all about him and never took care of me. Needless to say we didn't last long

My friend is in hospital for an acute case of premature ejaculation. Last I heard it was still touch and go...
 
I want to be good for my lover and she wants to be good for me. On those times she is real good, I climax first. We enjoy the moment and I tell her that I owe her one [some.]
 
I want to be good for my lover and she wants to be good for me. On those times she is real good, I climax first. We enjoy the moment and I tell her that I owe her one [some.]

same here. most times we both orgasm, but if she doesn't, I don't wait too long to return the favor
 
I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely? :rose:

I get more out of my partner climaxing than my own climax, so, yes.

Then again, I'm not sure how typical I am.
 
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