❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

Wild_Honey_66 said:

Miles, have you ever been one of the meats in a multiple meat sandwich?

Inquiring minds, and all...

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elli1point1 said:

He's vegan! That's not kosher!

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Yeah what she said!

indiesoul said:

I'm not sure what who is doing what to my buns, but damn. Did I consent to this?

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Who are you trying to fool! You consent to pert near everything!

indiesoul said:

I'm deeply outraged and offended, madam!

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siiigh

*waves a dildo in front of your face and waits for you to amend your statement*

I didn't hear a safe word.

Miles Long said:

I didn't hear a safe word.

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She hasn't got one and she likes it that way.

indiesoul said:

What were we talking about?

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Ah ha ha

Shut up, you know you're up for anything I'd suggest.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

Ah ha ha

Shut up, you know you're up for anything I'd suggest.

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Give her hell, honey!

Are we having Reuben sammys??
Yes please.

indiesoul said:

Be careful what you ask for with this crowd, beautiful.

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I'm surprised it took this long to descend into madness. Lol.

indiesoul said:

Sorry sweetness. Let's get back to talking about body image while I put all the foods in my tummy? #fatgirl #carbs4lyfe

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Hahaha, no no.... sammiches are always good.

Chubby girls get to say fun things like, i have an ass the size of Texas, and my thighs can smother you in a New York second.

I forgot to say earlier, that i think it's important for women of every size and shape to be able to describe themselves without self-deprecation. I've learned that the majority of men are very receptive, and while they may have preferences, are unlikely to turn down a romp with an engaging, playful, imaginative partner who's more about shaking her butt in his face than what size her knickers are.

At least, that's been my experience. YMMV.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

I forgot to say earlier, that i think it's important for women of every size and shape to be able to describe themselves without self-deprecation. I've learned that the majority of men are very receptive, and while they may have preferences, are unlikely to turn down a romp with an engaging, playful, imaginative partner who's more about shaking her butt in his face than what size her knickers are.

At least, that's been my experience. YMMV.

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This. A million times. Because, God forbid, there might just be some men who’d prefer the kind of butt you so eloquently describe.

Sadly, if were to say that I wouldn’t turn down a romp with an engaging, playful, imaginative partner just because she was a bit on the slim side, I’d be concerned it would sound like I was trying to make a point. But actually, it’s just the truth.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

I forgot to say earlier, that i think it's important for women of every size and shape to be able to describe themselves without self-deprecation. I've learned that the majority of men are very receptive, and while they may have preferences, are unlikely to turn down a romp with an engaging, playful, imaginative partner who's more about shaking her butt in his face than what size her knickers are.

At least, that's been my experience. YMMV.

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Mei5ter said:

This. A million times. Because, God forbid, there might just be some men who’d prefer the kind of butt you so eloquently describe.

Sadly, if were to say that I wouldn’t turn down a romp with an engaging, playful, imaginative partner just because she was a bit on the slim side, I’d be concerned it would sound like I was trying to make a point. But actually, it’s just the truth.

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Dammit! The secret is out!

Any man, straight, gay or bi, would NEVER turn down sex with a willing, partner with an open (and dirty) mind and a great attitude were it not for a few asshats who goad them into believing that nothing less than Hollywood perfection is adequate.
N
I feel sorry for those guys, because they are NEVER going to experience life. (Or get laid).

Aside: you can easily find some of those Asshats on Lit in the Story area. They are the ones who feel compelled to describe female characters only via statistics . " Blonde, 115 lb, 5'-6" 44DD-22-34" (yeah I think that's Barbie).

I'll take words every time. Like "A stunning blonde, curvy, with deep hazel eyes, unquenchable lust and an ass the size of Texas." (Speculating on most of that).

Slowly steering us back on track...

PrettyLilPussy19 said:

#11
Body Image (stolen)

Bringing this question from another thread but I'm curious how the kinkier among us will answer.

When it comes to sex/kink how do you feel about your body? When it comes to sex/kink, does it affect how you feel (e.g. size, age, race, disability, gender, etc)
Do you feel like your body type is portrayed or portrayed accurately in porn? Does it bother you? Have you ever seen something represented in a way that made you rethink an attraction?

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This was a question asked on the Audio Thread in the PG and I really suggest, if you have time, to go listen to someone of the answers. They come from on array of body types and races and, I think, speak to the deep insecurities in most of us. Or for those of among us who don't feel that, can maybe help you understand another person's POV. Ok, to answer my own question -

When it comes to sex/kink how do I feel about my body?
Honestly, not great. I feel like sometime's to say you are less than accepting of yourself in all your flaws is, in itself seen as a flaw. I'm firmly in the curvy category. And while, I can look at other women like me and see their curves and their softness and find them 100% desirable and gorgeous, I can not see that in myself. While I know that there are men who purport to prefer these kinds of bodies, I have seen their actions speak louder than their words. When it comes to sex, my body DOES all the things right, it FEELS all the things intensely, but it LOOKS less than ideal. And it's not just about curves, it's the crazy freckles, the wild hair, the glasses, the no-so perfect teeth, it's a hundred things.

Does my body image affect how I look at kink?
Yes, I feel like the ideal submissive is a petite, little, pixie of a girl who can easily be thrown around and flipped upside down, with tits that fit perfectly in your palm and a smooth ass who's first imperfection will be your belt mark. My body type is rarely (if ever? still thinking?) representing in kink porn and ALWAYS is fetishized - curvy, chubby, fat, BBW - ALWAYS. And I know why, it's not to make it easier for the people who are looking for that particular brand of girl, it's to make sure the people who definitely DON'T want to see it won't be offended. My body image is not the only thing that makes me left feeling like a bit of an outsider in the kink community but it's definitely at the top of the list.
It's not self- deprecation (although, I'm a fucking champ at that), it's realism and lifetime of experience. "But you have such a pretty face" or "but your tits are amazing" - kind compliments but I think we all want to be wanted for the sum of our parts and not reduced to two good physical characteristics. I'm clear that I am not everyone's cup of tea, but it is possible that I am someone's flavor and that's all I need.

Have I ever seen something that has made me rethink an attraction?
I have always been more attracted to the person than the looks but I love seeing more "normal" people in porn - real bods, tattoos, scars, etc. On the audio thread a few people talked about when they realized certain bodies could be sexy - always by being exposed to a person or media - and that has just cemented the feeling that we need to be more proactive in including real people here on Lit. I am doing this by including diverse characters in my writing. Maybe I can turn one person on to something they never considered?

Anyway, this was an epic ramble. But it was transparent and true - for me.
As always, I appreciate everyone's thoughts and answers. You guys teach me so much.
plp

And while I can look at other women like me and see their curves and their softness and find them 100% desirable and gorgeous, I can not see that in myself.

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I struggle with this, too.

* * * * * * * *

At the risk of sounding like a perv (which i am ), I've spent a good chunk of time naked over the last few years, becoming comfortable with my body, even if there are things i would change about it, if i could.

I think one of the reasons i am (mostly) at ease with my naked self in front of a partner is because A) when you're as big as i am right now, there's nowhere to hide it! and B) i know i can give my partner pleasure, regardless of how i feel about my looks. And the men i have spoken with have agreed that their Prime Directive is not to assess their partner's figure flaws, but to give them pleasure as well.

We don't see men going around all shy and awkward because they have a flat butt, or their ears stick out, or they're having a bad hair month. They're too excited about getting to poke their wang (or their tongue) into someplace dark and warm and wet. If only we could become less self-conscious and more... selfish? about enjoying ourselves.

What would we sound like? 'Get over here and suck on my saggy tits!' 'Mmm, that's right baby, now paint my tiger stripes with your leaky cock. Fuck yeah, that's hot!'

I dunno, I'm just making this shit up on the fly.

PrettyLilPussy19 if I may, where did your ideal of the perfect sub come from? I ask out of curiosity because it differs so much from my experience. I've always been amazed at the variety of body images of the submissives I've met at munches, play parties, and at kink events. Very few were as you describe. In fact a lot look like how the women have responded here.

Not be critical or argumentative. Truly just curious.

wicked woman said:

PrettyLilPussy19 if I may, where did your ideal of the perfect sub come from? I ask out of curiosity because it differs so much from my experience. I've always been amazed at the variety of body images of the submissives I've met at munches, play parties, and at kink events. Very few were as you describe. In fact a lot look like how the women have responded here.

Not be critical or argumentative. Truly just curious.

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Ah no problem.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm so green to all this so, of course, my "ideal" sub (and that certainly could have been phrased better) comes from media, porn, and conversation.
I think my first conversation with any kind of Dom involved him telling me his preference for a petite woman and why. And that's certainly his right to be attracted to what he wanted!! But it was a foundational conversation for me.

I just havent had as much experience irl for a multitude of reasons. I'm sure if I did/do my feelings would/will change entirely. I'm still learning and growing as a human, much less a kinky human. Those are my feelings now. Check back in 6 months and they may be entirely different. Thanks for probing deeper. I have no problem with that.

(And how appropriate that Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen just came on my shuffle )

wicked woman said:

PrettyLilPussy19 if I may, where did your ideal of the perfect sub come from? I ask out of curiosity because it differs so much from my experience. I've always been amazed at the variety of body images of the submissives I've met at munches, play parties, and at kink events. Very few were as you describe. In fact a lot look like how the women have responded here.

Not be critical or argumentative. Truly just curious.

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This.

On fact, most “real life” subs I know tend to be bigger.

We really need to get over the black and white airbrushed.

I’m going to answer this in depth, but I wanted to say the ONE thing I am ever punished for is putting myself down, even as a joke.
Not allowed.
He makes me pinch my tongue and apologize. Or he does, which hurts more. And he makes me repeat what I said, and then change it.

He loves my body. I think he’s a little kooky for that, but don’t tell him, or illhave to pinch my tongue.

PLP, are you on FetLife? There are some incredibly sexy, kinky women there who don't fit any stereotype. I have a friend who likes the big girls and he and i used to message each other when one of us found a new curvy goddess. Dressed to kill in corset and strapon, tied up and gagged by a dude with pierced nipples, or naked as a jay bird and showing off her stuff. It takes some digging but they're there, and it's awesome.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

PLP, are you on FetLife? There are some incredibly sexy, kinky women there who don't fit any stereotype. I have a friend who likes the big girls and he and i used to message each other when one of us found a new curvy goddess. Dressed to kill in corset and strapon, tied up and gagged by a dude with pierced nipples, or naked as a jay bird and showing off her stuff. It takes some digging but they're there, and it's awesome.

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I am.
It's just a personal feeling. Nothing at all that speaks to anyone else's beauty or desirability.

PrettyLilPussy19 said:

Ah no problem.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm so green to all this so, of course, my "ideal" sub (and that certainly could have been phrased better) comes from media, porn, and conversation.
I think my first conversation with any kind of Dom involved him telling me his preference for a petite woman and why. And that's certainly his right to be attracted to what he wanted!! But it was a foundational conversation for me.

I just havent had as much experience irl for a multitude of reasons. I'm sure if I did/do my feelings would/will change entirely. I'm still learning and growing as a human, much less a kinky human. Those are my feelings now. Check back in 6 months and they may be entirely different. Thanks for probing deeper. I have no problem with that.

(And how appropriate that Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen just came on my shuffle )

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Thanks for responding. Hopefully, as you gain a bit more exposure, what you see will add a new dimension to your experience so far.

Out of curiosity, does anyone - male or female - really notice the body types and appearance of men in porn?

Being male and straight I think I must just filter them out. I have a vague impression they have no body hair, lots of muscles, and (I guess?) above average sized penises. But I don’t watch enough kink porn to know if this is a more mainstream porn thing, and whether there’s a greater variety of men represented in kink?

Mei5ter said:

Out of curiosity, does anyone - male or female - really notice the body types and appearance of men in porn?

Being male and straight I think I must just filter them out. I have a vague impression they have no body hair, lots of muscles, and (I guess?) above average sized penises. But I don’t watch enough kink porn to know if this is a more mainstream porn thing, and whether there’s a greater variety of men represented in kink?

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I watch homemade porn almost exclusively, so the people look like... people. Mostly white, hardly any Asian men, Germans are a kinky bunch of fuckers, and Russian women are super dom. Oh, the French are perverts, too.