Gentlemen: Can you explain the appeal of cuckolding?

I think an important step in understanding cuckolding is to recognize that our own bias and starting assumptions are not as universal as we imagine.

Consider that in some cultures a man would lose his mind if another man so much as sees his wife's face uncovered and fully expects her to be a virgin before meeting him. He really feels that way and in the absence of exposure to different cultures he might have a very hard time believing other men might not feel the same way. In his mind a man who "allows" his wife to frolick on the beach in a bikini or greet other men by hugging them must lack something of his manhood. It could not possibly be a different attitude or set of values.

But in western culture millions of men really, sincerely genuinely do not have any problem with other men seeing their wife in a bikini or giving them a hug goodbye. Moreover they would consider it oppressive to deny her that latitude. And they accept that they enjoy no such equivalent potential for positive attention - even a guy with a great body knows he will not garner as much attention as an equally attractive woman.

Now try to transport yourself into that other culture I describe. Would you not want to see a more liberal approach to women? Would you not want to liberate your wife from those oppressive expectations? Would you not find the women who rebel to be more sexy and appealing than those who comply? Would you not look at your wife in a skirt and heels compared to the others in head to toe covering and think 'fuck ya that is the woman I want'? Should you feel otherwise because the locals call her a whore.

Realistically the average wife is more able to find and manage multiple sex partners than the average husband. She has greater physical capacity and opportunity. There are lots of wives who are sexually unsatisfied because their husband lacks the ability to satisfy them and those women could find satisfaction elsewhere. Most husbands twist themselves up in knots convincing themselves this could never be either because they are a stud or their wife only wants whatever it is they offer.

Some cuckolds are simply men who recognize this bullshit and prefer to accept reality. They don't feel constrained by the traditional view of relationships. They are relieved to not have to conform to those expectations and find their wife's unwillingness to conform to be sexy and appealing.

Humiliation is a different thing. The cuckold who simply doesn't accept society's view of sexual propriety isn't humiliated by his wife's actions any more so than the man who sees no problem with his wife wearing a bikini at a public beach.

To me the man who enjoys humiliation is somewhat analogous to one who enjoys pain. It is a sort of emotional and psychological pain. While I may not enjoy it I know some people do for a variety of complex reasons.

It is also connected to submission which in my observation involves an element of craving absolute acceptance in the exchange for compliance. The cuckold knows he is no stud. Most men are not. But the "humiliating" experience is to the cuckold simply the means or event through which he is relieved of this unrealistic expectation.

Whenever I read the simplistic assertions such as "cuckolds are channeling homosexual desires" I am reminded of the course back in university call Abnormal Psychology. It always raised the question of what is normal and who defines that - mostly old white traditional men mostly over the last 100 years.

Maybe done cuckolds are channeling homosexual desires. Or maybe some are just open-minded enough to explore their own sexuality. Or maybe our view of normal is all wrong.

Technically, we've been describing a wittol: a man who is aware and tolerant of his wife's infidelity or an acquiescent cuckold. Words get slippery. Meanings change and I think the idea of cuckold is morphing. Does being a cuckold or wittol require being humiliation?

Some might argue that any man who allows his woman to sleep with another man is automatically being humiliated. That, for whatever reason, the husband must not be "enough" for his wife. Personally, I find this argument full of presumption and bullshit. As I said earlier, I can give my wife lots of things - but I cannot give her the thrill of a first time with a new lover. It's impossible. And if you've known the joy of being with more than one or two partners within your lifetime, then you should be able to appreciate the singularly unique thrill of discovering a new partner.

I wholly reject the concept of ownership of another person. I do not own my wife. Nor do I rule her. Equally so, she does not own or rule me. We're partners who choose to be together. While we occasionally make unilateral decisions that may affect our partnership, it's done with the knowledge that we respect the other person's ability to make a good decision.

I take joy in my wife's pleasure, whether it's because of my actions or the whether it's found within the arms of another man doesn't lessen or cheapen the pleasure I have in knowing my wife is happy. And, for us, it works the opposite way, too.

She is 100% heterosexual. She doesn't have an interest in being with another woman. I don't share that singularity. While I prefer women, but I have had a good time with other men, too. Unlike her, I can share, albeit secondhand, the fun of her being with another man. I know how it feels to have taste another man's semen, to feel his thrill, and we can talk about it as a shared pleasured.

On the flip side, she can appreciate my tales of being with another man, but not another woman. So, when I'm with another woman, it's something I do alone. I'm okay with that.

BuckyDuckman said:

Technically, we've been describing a wittol: a man who is aware and tolerant of his wife's infidelity or an acquiescent cuckold. Words get slippery. Meanings change and I think the idea of cuckold is morphing. Does being a cuckold or wittol require being humiliation?

Some might argue that any man who allows his woman to sleep with another man is automatically being humiliated. That, for whatever reason, the husband must not be "enough" for his wife. Personally, I find this argument full of presumption and bullshit. As I said earlier, I can give my wife lots of things - but I cannot give her the thrill of a first time with a new lover. It's impossible. And if you've known the joy of being with more than one or two partners within your lifetime, then you should be able to appreciate the singularly unique thrill of discovering a new partner.

I wholly reject the concept of ownership of another person. I do not own my wife. Nor do I rule her. Equally so, she does not own or rule me. We're partners who choose to be together. While we occasionally make unilateral decisions that may affect our partnership, it's done with the knowledge that we respect the other person's ability to make a good decision.

I take joy in my wife's pleasure, whether it's because of my actions or the whether it's found within the arms of another man doesn't lessen or cheapen the pleasure I have in knowing my wife is happy. And, for us, it works the opposite way, too.

She is 100% heterosexual. She doesn't have an interest in being with another woman. I don't share that singularity. While I prefer women, but I have had a good time with other men, too. Unlike her, I can share, albeit secondhand, the fun of her being with another man. I know how it feels to have taste another man's semen, to feel his thrill, and we can talk about it as a shared pleasured.

On the flip side, she can appreciate my tales of being with another man, but not another woman. So, when I'm with another woman, it's something I do alone. I'm okay with that.

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The humiliation point is very salient. Many traditional definitions of cuckold assume the man is humiliated. But isn't that an emotion he feels? We talk about controlling our emotions but that usually refers to how we react to our emotions. If you are hurt or angry you can put on a happy face but you are still hurt and angry. Likewise if the cuckold for whatever reason doesn't feel humiliated is he a cuckold? People can say he should feel humiliated.......that doesn't make it so.

policywank said:

Consider that in some cultures a man would lose his mind if another man so much as sees his wife's face uncovered and fully expects her to be a virgin before meeting him. He really feels that way and in the absence of exposure to different cultures he might have a very hard time believing other men might not feel the same way. In his mind a man who "allows" his wife to frolick on the beach in a bikini or greet other men by hugging them must lack something of his manhood. It could not possibly be a different attitude or set of values.

But in western culture millions of men really, sincerely genuinely do not have any problem with other men seeing their wife in a bikini or giving them a hug goodbye. Moreover they would consider it oppressive to deny her that latitude. And they accept that they enjoy no such equivalent potential for positive attention - even a guy with a great body knows he will not garner as much attention as an equally attractive woman.

Now try to transport yourself into that other culture I describe. Would you not want to see a more liberal approach to women? Would you not want to liberate your wife from those oppressive expectations? Would you not find the women who rebel to be more sexy and appealing than those who comply? Would you not look at your wife in a skirt and heels compared to the others in head to toe covering and think 'fuck ya that is the woman I want'? Should you feel otherwise because the locals call her a whore.

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Your thought exercise isn't possible because we're all biased. If I grew up in a stricter culture, I might prefer it. Believe it or not, there are women in those cultures who prefer it because they grew up that way, and don't want to be "liberated." The word in and of itself is culturally chauvinist in this context.

The Amish are a great example. At their coming of age they are granted the option of leaving the church or being baptized. They are even granted wide latitude to indulge in "deviant" behavior. Most return to the church freely.

policywank said:

The humiliation point is very salient. Many traditional definitions of cuckold assume the man is humiliated. But isn't that an emotion he feels? We talk about controlling our emotions but that usually refers to how we react to our emotions. If you are hurt or angry you can put on a happy face but you are still hurt and angry. Likewise if the cuckold for whatever reason doesn't feel humiliated is he a cuckold? People can say he should feel humiliated.......that doesn't make it so.

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That's much to my point of mentioning how the definition seems to be changing. Humiliation can be a fun, sexual device. Our most erogenous zone rests between our ears and not between our legs.

Some, like the troll who posted earlier, automatically assume that if a man "let's" his wife lie with another man, that he's somehow less of a man. That doesn't make it so.

Personally, I get off hearing about my wife's exploits with other men. I enjoy her sexuality. She enjoys how excited and delighted I get by hearing her stories and the sex we have immediately afterwards. There's no humiliation expressed nor felt by me. I don't feel like less of a man. Hell, if anything, I think I'm more of a man.

However, if adding humiliation to the equation makes it hotter? I say go for it! I love when a phone sex operator will giggle and tease me about being a cocksucking sissy and/or fag while I'm talking to her. (A PSO because my wife can't bring herself to say those things, LOL.) I believe I can appreciate the thrill of humiliation, but are you suggesting that if the husband isn't being humiliated, then they aren't really a cuckold?

HoldYouDown said:

The Amish are a great example. At their coming of age they are granted the option of leaving the church or being baptized. They are even granted wide latitude to indulge in "deviant" behavior. Most return to the church freely.

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Most return to the security of the familiar life they have practiced and the loving affection of their families. If they had a chance to become more familiar with modern society AND still maintain the loving support of their family, would they still make the same choice? Perhaps, but I think it's not the same slam dunk, IMHO.

Some cuckolds are simply men who . . .

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CUCKOLD means when the husband is NOT aware of his wife's infidelity. (USE YOUR DICTIONARY!!!!!!)

When the husband shares, perhaps even encourages sharing, HE IS A "SHARER".

(An "open marriage" is yet another animal, also NOT "cuckoldry")

MilkFountain said:

CUCKOLD means when the husband is NOT aware of his wife's infidelity. (USE YOUR DICTIONARY!!!!!!)

When the husband shares, perhaps even encourages sharing, HE IS A "SHARER".

(An "open marriage" is yet another animal, also NOT "cuckoldry")

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Scroll up MilkFountain and check out post #104 where I point out that we're technically referring to a wittol. Shocker: definitions change with usage and location, get used to it.

My wife has sex with other men because she craves greater sexual gratification. She has made it clear that I cannot provide that, and I find that humiliating. That humiliation plays a role in my excitement. My wife never demeans me or is mean-spirited, but she's honest about the fact that her lovers are very satisfying to her.

BuckyDuckman said:

Scroll up MilkFountain and check out post #104 where I point out that we're technically referring to a wittol. Shocker: definitions change with usage and location, get used to it.

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Originally Posted by MilkFountain
CUCKOLD, look it up. Stop sloppily misusing and mistreating the English language; stop spreading your ignorance.

Can't tell if you're more interested in being the grammar police or interested in a conversation. Like I said on the forum, definitions change. Shocker: many definitions of wittol reference cuckoldry, as in "a willing cuckold."

Both, I welcome a conversation and, I am a grammar policeman, editor of a newspaper you surely read.

NTW, "willing cuckold" is an oxymoron. Wrong again. Laymen speakers of all languages assume the right to shift, modify, and tweak the meanings of words . . . at the expense of using a word precisely and not confusing it with others.

why a cuck?

I was raised by a single mom who hated men and two bully older sisters. This is why I turned out to be a submissive sissy. Having accepted my role in life I did attempt to have a normal relationship with a younger woman but found that I was not fulfilling her sexually. I gave her permission to find cock outside of our bed and she took full advantage of it. She had already dommed over me as we played heavily in the bdsm world. I really loved humiliation and was quite bi curious.
She eventually just turned it into her cheating and me getting nothing out of the cheating. We split and that's when we finally figured out the cuckolding thing. She was 32, I was 47 and she ended up with our son's 19 year old best friend. She cucked me with him for almost three years. It was a mutually beneficial situation as she wasn't the biggest fan of the blowjob but she had her own surrogate to service her lover at will. I loved it and got my fill of cum and humiliation so it was a win win.
She has had me service her and her lovers since but is now in a vanilla situation so there is no more cuckolding at the moment.

Mystories189 said:

I don't know if my thing is cuckolding or the hot wife thing. I don't care much about the guy who's interested or hooking up with my wife, I just get turned on by the idea that my wife is desired by others. It makes her hot to me. Being a flirt and a slut makes her hot. theres also a taboo and bad girl part of it. I don't think it's an underlying homosexual tendency, it's all about what she does.

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I would like to have my wife talk to me about having sex with or more specifically oral sex with other men. While I masturbate.. I think with me, I would like to be dommed by her and I get off on the eroticism of humiliation

One Step Nearer

Just remember when reading this, it's all consensual and all enjoy!

Around eleven years ago hubby and I began exploring fantasies in the bedroom, some of which were physical others mental. One of those was me having a lover; hubby brought that in with hot comments at the point of my orgasm initially. That moved on to explicit talk at times, role play and then naughty whispers in public. Nine years ago we stepped into reality having our first threesome with another guy.

Let me make it clear at this point, hubby isn’t bisexual or submissive; he enjoys me having pleasure, lots of it.

Having had a pleasurable experience we had a few more, all good on the whole, but I noticed that hubby became less involved and spent more time watching. With open discussion it became obvious hubby preferred to watch and have me after that share at the time. That led to where we were last year (2016) where we chose lovers on line from dating sites and I made contact and, if suitable, brought them back for sex.
Unbeknownst to them the lounge and bedroom were wired for sound and video with hidden cams and mics and hubby was watching remotely from a room over the garage. This wasn’t something that consumed our sex life, occurring 4-5 times a year.

Valentine’s Day 2016 saw a change in that I had a gift waiting on the bed in the form of a naked mixed race male, something hubby arranged behind my back, which hubby left me to enjoy, me knowing he would be watching.
A short while later, again with open frank discussion, hubby asked for me alone to choose my lover. I acceded to his wish but with a proviso in that as it would be a total surprise for him he was not to “jack off” while watching and save himself for me after as usual. I jokingly bought him a cock cage. Hubby insisted I lock him up and he enjoys the frustration it creates and certainly creates a benefit for me after my lover leaves.

I started picking black lovers and hubby agreed the contrast in skin colour added to the eroticism of my unfaithfulness and his voyeuristic pleasure. At the same time we introduced my long term female lover of ours, Karen,to "support" hubby during my "play time" as well as a second female in the bedroom. She, adding to hubbies frustrations, being dressed provocatively and commenting on my activity with my lover during and joining us after.
Then came one special lover, I have never followed up with subsequent invites previously but this guy was something special. In discussions with hubby and Karen it was decided to "give him a second go".

This led to several more "meetings" with him, more activity than usual,*and subsequently an invite.*
I was asked to attend a "party" with him in early November, he gave me all the details and left me to think about it and decide. Of course this was discussed with hubby and Karen, the "party" would be held at a private residence where all the males were black, and the women married, unfaithful and with their lover. The dress code was simple, the men would be smart casual, the women in just heels and either stockings or holdups and a choker that they would choose on arrival. Although all the women were "on display" selecting a white choker meant you were exclusive and "off limits", a red choker indicated you may*had to be asked but had the right to decline, black meant you*could not refuse any advance. There were rules the men had to abide by or be ejected such as respecting the above and, whether red or black, the right to insist on protection. Along with the hopes of my lover, hubby and Karen both thought I should go for black.
I attended the party, but that's another story, feeling secure as additionally we would be relocating and that information I hadn't passed on to my lover.

Since we moved there has been no play of that kind other than a couple of visits from Karen. Karen is missing us and leading on from the last visit is now in the process of moving down and in with us having secured employment down here. Karen will have the annex, should she want space, sharing one of the rooms with hubby who is in the process of equiping the house with the same facilities for our entertainment.

During this time, Benjamin has emailed, text and rang, he knows we have moved but still wants more of me. Hubby and Karen have seen the emails and texts and, between them, heard the calls. Ben is asking for exclusivity, to cuckold hubby in that he can't have me. Ben is cool with Karen and has declared he would only share me with one other, his younger brother, as he felt uncomfortable with my behaviour at the "party" (it was his desire for us to attend and me wear a black choker). Ben is not aware he was, all but that one time, watched and that has been the mainstay of our activities to date, this would be a big departure. It is under consideration, I know hubby would be well looked after by Karen in my absence, but is this what we want? Is it what I want? This would be a major change in the dynamics, can I willingly deny hubby my body just reliant on Karen in the times between seeing Ben, Would I be happy knowing Karen is serving those needs, although not while I'm with Ben!

The decision has been made and Ben is out of the equation, it just wouldn't work for us!

It has now been some time since Karen moved in with us and it's working beautifully, she blended in flawlessly. We have begun playing again and, in addition to us watching me with a lover, I get to see what Karen and hubby get up to while I'm busy lol.
It's only been a couple of times but both have been fun and plans are in place for the next one.
Hubby is being treated deliciously by Karen not only physically but mentally with her commentary while I'm being fucked. How she manages to keep him from coming is a credit to her skills especially when coming herself on my dildo and still has her hand wrapped around him!

The locals still can't work us out fully bless them especially as we now sport identical wedding band.
Lol a white witch married the three of us on the winter solstice. The wedding night was soooo much fun! Role on summer when we can visit the nudist beach!

08-1-2019 Update
It's been over a year since Karen joined us and we have celebrated out "anniversary" we are playing other games but have not forgotten our routes ans will be back to that soon

Penny

Hot1Penny said:

Just remember when reading this, it's all consensual and all enjoy!

Around nine years ago hubby and I began exploring fantasies in the bedroom, some of which were physical others mental. One of those was me having a lover; hubby brought that in with hot comments at the point of my orgasm initially. That moved on to explicit talk at times, roleplay and then naughty whispers in public. Seven years ago we stepped into reality having our first threesome with another guy.

Let me make it clear at this point, hubby isn’t bisexual or submissive; he enjoys me having pleasure, lots of it.

Having had a pleasurable experience we had a few more, all good on the whole, but I noticed that hubby became less involved and spent more time watching. With open discussion it became obvious hubby preferred to watch and have me after that share at the time. That led to where we were last year (2016) where we chose lovers on line from dating sites and I made contact and, if suitable, brought them back for sex.
Unbeknown to them the lounge and bedroom were wired for sound and video with hidden cams and mikes and hubby was watching remotely from a room over the garage. This wasn’t something that consumed our sex life, occurring 4-5 times a year.

Valentine’s Day 2016 saw a change in that I had a gift waiting on the bed in the form of a naked mixed race male, something hubby arranged behind my back, which hubby left me to enjoy, me knowing he would be watching.
A short while later, again with open frank discussion, hubby asked for me alone to choose my lover. I acceded to his wish but with a proviso in that as it would be a total surprise for him he was not to “jack off” while watching and save himself for me after as usual. I jokingly bought him a cock cage. Hubby insisted I lock him up and he enjoys the frustration it creates and certainly creates a benefit for me after my lover leaves.

I started picking black lovers and hubby agreed the contrast in skin colour added to the eroticism of my unfaithfulness and his voyeuristic pleasure. At the same time we introduced a long term female lover of ours, Karen,*to*support*hubby during my "play time" as well as*a second female in the bedroom. She, adding to hubbies frustrations, being dressed provocatively and commenting on my activity with my lover during and joining us after.
Then came one special lover, I have never followed up with subsequent invites previously but this guy was something special. In discussions with hubby and Karen it was decided to "give him a second go".

This led to several more "meetings" with him, more activity than usual,*and subsequently an invite.*
I was asked to attend a "party" with him in early November, he gave me all the details and left me to think about it and decide. Of course this was discussed with hubby and Karen, the "party" would be held at a private residence where all the males were black, and the women married, unfaithful and with their lover. The dress code was simple, the men would be smart casual, the women in just heels and either stockings or holdups and a choker that they would choose on arrival. Although all the women were "on display" selecting a white choker meant you were exclusive and "off limits", a red choker indicated you may*had to be asked but had the right to decline, black meant you*could not refuse any advance. There were rules the men had to abide by or be ejected such as respecting the above and, whether red or black, the right to insist on protection. Along with the hopes of my lover, hubby and Karen both thought I should go for black.
I attended the party, but that's another story, feeling secure as additionally we would be relocating and that information I hadn't passed on to my lover.

Since we moved there has been no play of that kind other than a couple of visits from Karen. Karen is missing us and*leading on from the last visit is now in the process of moving down and in with us having secured employment down here. Karen will have the annex, should she want space, sharing one of the rooms with hubby who is in the process of equiping the house with the same facilities for our entertainment.

During this time, Benjamin has emailed, text and rang, he knows we have moved but still wants more of me. Hubby and Karen have seen the emails and texts and, between them, heard the calls. Ben is asking for exclusivity, to cuckold hubby in that he can't have me. Ben is cool with Karen and has declared he would only share me with one other, his younger brother, as he felt uncomfortable with my behaviour at the "party" (it was his desire for us to attend and me wear a black choker). Ben is not aware he was, all but that one time, watched and that has been the mainstay of our activities to date, this would be a big departure. It is under consideration, I know hubby would be well looked after by Karen in my absence, but is this what we want? Is it what I want? This would be a major change in the dynamics, can I willingly deny hubby my body just reliant on Karen in the times between seeing Ben, Would I be happy knowing Karen is serving those needs, although not while I'm with Ben?

So many questions, so few coherent answers at the moment, Ben is patient, he thinks it's just me deciding, and that I'll deal with hubby if I decide to go through with it. I'll keep you posted.

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wow,very very interesting. Be wise in your decision.

Don't worry it won't be a quick decision maxmagg, not something to be taken lightly as it now effects the three of us!

HoldYouDown said:

Your thought exercise isn't possible because we're all biased. If I grew up in a stricter culture, I might prefer it. Believe it or not, there are women in those cultures who prefer it because they grew up that way, and don't want to be "liberated." The word in and of itself is culturally chauvinist in this context.

The Amish are a great example. At their coming of age they are granted the option of leaving the church or being baptized. They are even granted wide latitude to indulge in "deviant" behavior. Most return to the church freely.

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It isn't possible to live an unbiased existence but that wasn't the point. The thought exercise was about imagining a different set of biases. The comparison was meant to illustrate that we do each hold biases and none of us can say that ours represents some universal immutable truth. There is no reason to presume that all men who have a liberal attitude towards their wife's sexual activity are "wrong" or "defective" as opposed to simply have a different set of values or biases.

So to borrow the Amish example my point has nothing to do with whether they choose to return to the church or not. It has to do with the possibility of a set of equally valid and sincerely held biases and recognizing them as such rather than some universal immutable truth. They recognize that some may not return based upon a personal decision.....and don't seek to validate or invalidate the underlying reasons (or biases).

BuckyDuckman said:

That's much to my point of mentioning how the definition seems to be changing. Humiliation can be a fun, sexual device. Our most erogenous zone rests between our ears and not between our legs.

Some, like the troll who posted earlier, automatically assume that if a man "let's" his wife lie with another man, that he's somehow less of a man. That doesn't make it so.

Personally, I get off hearing about my wife's exploits with other men. I enjoy her sexuality. She enjoys how excited and delighted I get by hearing her stories and the sex we have immediately afterwards. There's no humiliation expressed nor felt by me. I don't feel like less of a man. Hell, if anything, I think I'm more of a man.

However, if adding humiliation to the equation makes it hotter? I say go for it! I love when a phone sex operator will giggle and tease me about being a cocksucking sissy and/or fag while I'm talking to her. (A PSO because my wife can't bring herself to say those things, LOL.) I believe I can appreciate the thrill of humiliation, but are you suggesting that if the husband isn't being humiliated, then they aren't really a cuckold?

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No I am not suggesting that if the husband isn't being humiliated he isn't a cuckold. Quite the opposite whether he feels humiliated or not is substantially a question of his own attitude not a cuckold definition.

Based upon my own review of definitions "cuckold" really only addresses a man whose wife has sex with other men. It is asserted that the man is typically the object of derision but that speaks to how other people see him not how he sees himself. The definitions I have found also don't address whether he knows of his wife's sexual activity. So it is possible that he knows she is fucking other guys and it doesn't bother him - perhaps unlikely but not impossible.

Although the definitions (note that is intentionally plural) do strongly suggest that the cuckold's wife is violating a trust which would seem to exclude the husband's consent. But then most of the definitions come from a time when people (including the ones setting definition) simply couldn't imagine consensual non-monogamy without humiliation. They did not allow for the possibility.

i can't say that the popular version of being a cuckold appeals to me, but I admit to fantasizing about sharing my wife especially watching her pleasure another guy. We have tried that a couple of times ....................one time was fantastic and 2nd time was a dud as the other guy was young and nervous.

For me, it's about her pleasure and showing off what a hot woman I have plus the 'risk factor' which spices it up a bit. I like to be the director and call the shots and it gives me the opportunity to play out my hidden bi-curious side.

https://www.smut6.com/videos/how-to-cuckold/
decent explanation video

policywank said:

No I am not suggesting that if the husband isn't being humiliated he isn't a cuckold. Quite the opposite whether he feels humiliated or not is substantially a question of his own attitude not a cuckold definition.

Based upon my own review of definitions "cuckold" really only addresses a man whose wife has sex with other men. It is asserted that the man is typically the object of derision but that speaks to how other people see him not how he sees himself. The definitions I have found also don't address whether he knows of his wife's sexual activity. So it is possible that he knows she is fucking other guys and it doesn't bother him - perhaps unlikely but not impossible.

Although the definitions (note that is intentionally plural) do strongly suggest that the cuckold's wife is violating a trust which would seem to exclude the husband's consent. But then most of the definitions come from a time when people (including the ones setting definition) simply couldn't imagine consensual non-monogamy without humiliation. They did not allow for the possibility.

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Apart from the last two sentences I agree with everything you say.

In my opinion, drawn from reading a lot of ancient erotica going back to the 17th century, there has never been an age where "consensual non-monogamy without humiliation" has not existed. I believe it's a practice that probably dates back to the invention of monogamy itself.

Well, the Cuck thing isn't all that great for me. I'm more drawn to the hotwife thing. No guy contact or cream pies. Just voyeuristic. I think it's the swirl of emotions and feeling alive. Eroticism, arousal, jealousy, envy and just seeing her getting pleasure.

policywank said:

Now try to transport yourself into that other culture I describe. Would you not want to see a more liberal approach to women? Would you not want to liberate your wife from those oppressive expectations? Would you not find the women who rebel to be more sexy and appealing than those who comply? Would you not look at your wife in a skirt and heels compared to the others in head to toe covering and think 'fuck ya that is the woman I want'? Should you feel otherwise because the locals call her a whore.

Realistically the average wife is more able to find and manage multiple sex partners than the average husband. She has greater physical capacity and opportunity.

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You make a lot of assumptions and generalizations here. Take these parts out, and I could buy your argument

I think that policywank is making valid assumptions. They fit very well with my observations over my lifetime.