As The Hospital Pervs

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You know what I am going to do with my next boyfriend?

I am going to strap him to a chair, wrap his erect penis with non-adherent gauze saturated with surgical lube and cover it with Kling wrap.

It’s going to be a piece of art. Then I will jerk it off till he explodes inside the bandages.

After that I will say: I think you need a dressing change.


see, you are an optimist after all
 
A resident wrote me a little sticky note that says: You can do it.
I wrote him a little sticky note back that says: You can do it too.

And then we signed our names on the notes and discussed that in 5 years from now we are going to pull out the sticky notes from our pockets, laugh at each other and remember our vulnerable times in the intensive care unit setting.

Unfortunately, I forgot about the note and it got washed with my dirty work clothes.
 
A resident wrote me a little sticky note that says: You can do it.
I wrote him a little sticky note back that says: You can do it too.

And then we signed our names on the notes and discussed that in 5 years from now we are going to pull out the sticky notes from our pockets, laugh at each other and remember our vulnerable times in the intensive care unit setting.

Unfortunately, I forgot about the note and it got washed with my dirty work clothes.

well perhaps you will find some other sticky note in there that says "go fuck yourself". Won't he be surprised!!
 
I am pretty sure the relative of my patient flirts with me because he thinks my hemostats are a pot-smoking tool.
 
they aren't?
He imagines this?
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i thought hemostats were something else. like a pipe.

or it could just be that i'm an idiot, that seems like a more realistic answer
 
Look! It's a couple of hemostats. They are lovers.

Hemostats.jpg

haha, i like that the one is sorta curved up at the end ;-)

so on a side note, it turns out i'm something of a ninja at Words With Friends. either that, or all my friends are stupid or new to the english language or something
 
hmmm-
If you have a long, hot, sweaty, naked session in bed, with someone who smokes leaf, will you register positive for THC ? (skin to skin)
How about a sperm injection, with no protection ? Will THC show up, on a drug test? Is there THC in his body fluids ? (oops, It stuck to the walls?)
 
haha, i like that the one is sorta curved up at the end ;-)

so on a side note, it turns out i'm something of a ninja at Words With Friends. either that, or all my friends are stupid or new to the english language or something
I haven't played in a while.
 
hmmm-
If you have a long, hot, sweaty, naked session in bed, with someone who smokes leaf, will you register positive for THC ? (skin to skin)
How about a sperm injection, with no protection ? Will THC show up, on a drug test? Is there THC in his body fluids ? (oops, It stuck to the walls?)
Hahaha! I don't think so about the drug test. I do know that I have a perverted second cousin that always told me his wife can't stand the smell of his pot sweat. I also heard that it makes the sperm stoned, and they swim slower but I am not sure, for sure.
 
It seems that my neurons are soaked with over-work-load. I need some meaningless activity in my life for the next few days. Something I can do without thinking.
 
I am sooooo happeeee. I didn’t see this sticker till I got in my car, after work. At least he didn’t put a ‘kick me’ sticky on my back.

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i'm happee, but i've never been happeee
you're lucky
Sometimes, I am lucky.
Next time I see him I am going to tell him: There is no place for happeee around here. No laughing is allowed!

You need a small-fast-acting dose.
 
:eek:

Caregivers, including ICU nurses, who work under extremely stressful conditions exhibit symptoms similar to those seen in persons who personally underwent a severe trauma. This response has been labeled secondary posttraumatic stress disorder.
 
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