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"To keep the review thread clean..."

Thank you to 1201 for recommending and commenting on Shoot the Moon and Misogyny's Morning Wood. As well as to OldBear, GM and Ash for commenting.

Thanks to OldBear for commenting on Bench Warmers and commenting and Fav'ing Roll With It, I think you're fun too.
 
thnx Old Timer for commentin' on BDSM2 esp. as I know how much U detest bdsm ??!! & thnx Clearday for comments on Commentin' in an Unspoken Contract !!?
 
Ashesh9 said:
thnx Old Timer for commentin' on BDSM2 esp. as I know how much U detest bdsm ??!! & thnx Clearday for comments on Commentin' in an Unspoken Contract !!?
Click to expand...
do not confuse rage with age

I AM TIMELESS

(or rather can't keep track off...)
 
Thank you to Ashesh, GM, OldBear, 1201, Cleardaynow and everyone from the Summer Challenge thread for your comments on Shoot The Moon.

Thanks to Susansnow for the fav and to Ashesh, OldBear, 1201, Pen, Magnetron and Tsotha for the reactions and comments on Misogyny's Morning Wood.

For Mixed Medium, thank you 1201 and Ashesh?! (Did you look again, see it for what it is?) for commenting.

Thanks also to 1201 and GM for commenting on Daisy, Chained. Fun bit o fluff that one.

Cleardaynow, thanks for your comments on Bench Warmers and Thought's Circle of Life.

And again to Ashesh for your comments on Love and Leaving and Strange Devices.
 
thanks, 1201, for commenting on Yahoo Accounts
I think you are absolutely right on the point you made, and it escaped me completely that the whole thing does not climax rightly. As it is I've got two easy options:
1. Interchange verses 3 & 4.
2. Add a 5th stanza

and a harder one:
Re-work the whole thing.

Thanks a lot for the help, much appreciated!
 
thanx to GM & OldBear for commentin' on Children of Gaza & to Ye Ageless Timer 'n Tazz for their Take on Lois vs Lana !!
 
Thanks to HoneyA & Magnetron for comments on the Children of Gaza , to Tod for comments on 2Thorns , to HoneyA & Trix for a critique of A Solitary Child & to HoneyA for comments on Wifey's Booty : Hubby's Prize
 
Thanks to Ash, Trixie, Cleardaynow, Honey Adored, and 1201 for taking the time to provide some thought provoking comments on "A Poem Billy Wrote in High School"
 
Thanks to Ash, Trix, 1201, and ishtat for comments on "Broken Villanelle." Valid point, 1201, regarding similes. I have tendency to overuse them when with a little more effort I can find a metaphor.
 
Thanks to Ash, HoneyAdored and OldBear for your comments on Holes.

And Angeline who's writing inspired it.
 
Thanks to GM & Old Bear for comments on a Solitary Child & to OB for Fave-ing same & & to OB for comment on .....?
 
greenmountaineer said:
Thanks to Ash, Trix, 1201, and ishtat for comments on "Broken Villanelle." Valid point, 1201, regarding similes. I have tendency to overuse them when with a little more effort I can find a metaphor.
Click to expand...
Don't misunderstand me. Here in my opinion, the fact that is a simile makes it a more "truthful" poem. Truthful in the sense that it is true to the voice in (and of) the poem.
A metaphor in this respect would add a power to the statement, but would be inappropriate in the context.
I pointed it out as I thought is was a deliberate choice.
 
Ashesh9 said:
Thanks to GM & Old Bear for comments on a Solitary Child & to OB for Fave-ing same & & to OB for comment on .....?
Click to expand...
this one Ash?http://www.literotica.com/p/a-single-child

Don't you think you are overplaying your hand? Your response to Trix?
As it being an impulse move, because you are:
1. a Parent 2. a Humane Being &3. a Poet !?!
I assume so is Trix, a parent, (probably a mother which counts more as it is at least a nine month investment) a humane being, and a far better poet, not to mention yours truly who also qualifies (probably not to the degree as trix in al least two of the catagories), you know, the subject here:

there was this Ageless Wonder
tryin' harrd to write poetry 'e used to flounder
so he passed Comment
in New Poems Segment
this numerical Timeless Bounder .....????!!!!

If you want something so sensitive as your goddamn sentiment, not to be offended show some in your goddamn poem. i.e ??!!!!????
Which at least three people pointed out is probably not the way to go, Tess, CDN and yours truly, all of whom are far better writers than you. Why did we bother?
Writing seems to be a joke to you, in which case I should have asked "a kid in the rain, where is the punchline?"

Or are you playing some weird role of agent provocateur?

Oh, it is all impulse...right, rein it in.
And if you think that for some reason, you are the better poet, I would love to know the reason. I am a student of these things.
 
ans. to the Ageless wonder

twelveoone said:
ps ash
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1056331
You also may want to check out
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=904458&page=11
here

you don't have to thank this Ageless Wonder
tryin' harrd to write poetry 'e used to flounder
so he passed Comment
in New Poems Segment
this numerical Timeless Bounder .....????!!!!

I am used to and quite immune to this bullshit around here.

And I do know how to vote, you've been gettin' gifty fives, gimme a reason.
Click to expand...

why do you have to read my poems if they are soooo inferior ?????!!!! why don't you ignore my writings instead of choosin' to give UNSOLICITED advice ???? or are you carryin' the White Man's Burden of Civilizin' the Natives ?????!!!!!
 
twelveoone said:
this one Ash?http://www.literotica.com/p/a-single-child

Don't you think you are overplaying your hand? Your response to Trix?
As it being an impulse move, because you are:
1. a Parent 2. a Humane Being &3. a Poet !?!
I assume so is Trix, a parent, (probably a mother which counts more as it is at least a nine month investment) a humane being, and a far better poet, not to mention yours truly who also qualifies (probably not to the degree as trix in al least two of the catagories), you know, the subject here:

there was this Ageless Wonder
tryin' harrd to write poetry 'e used to flounder
so he passed Comment
in New Poems Segment
this numerical Timeless Bounder .....????!!!!

If you want something so sensitive as your goddamn sentiment, not to be offended show some in your goddamn poem. i.e ??!!!!????
Which at least three people pointed out is probably not the way to go, Tess, CDN and yours truly, all of whom are far better writers than you. Why did we bother?
Writing seems to be a joke to you, in which case I should have asked "a kid in the rain, where is the punchline?"

Or are you playing some weird role of agent provocateur?

Oh, it is all impulse...right, rein it in.
And if you think that for some reason, you are the better poet, I would love to know the reason. I am a student of these things.
Click to expand...

actually you are so strait-jacketed in your thinkin' in some earlier place U have commented Ash is a Plant of some other Anon. & also being a Hindu I am surprised @ his mentioning Meat eating !!???
What do you know of Hinduism , U old Ignoramus , you only know poetry & not much else ??!!!@#$#$%^^&&*
 
twelveoone said:
this one Ash?http://www.literotica.com/p/a-single-child

Don't you think you are overplaying your hand? Your response to Trix?
As it being an impulse move, because you are:
1. a Parent 2. a Humane Being &3. a Poet !?!
I assume so is Trix, a parent, (probably a mother which counts more as it is at least a nine month investment) a humane being, and a far better poet, not to mention yours truly who also qualifies (probably not to the degree as trix in al least two of the catagories), you know, the subject here:

there was this Ageless Wonder
tryin' harrd to write poetry 'e used to flounder
so he passed Comment
in New Poems Segment
this numerical Timeless Bounder .....????!!!!

If you want something so sensitive as your goddamn sentiment, not to be offended show some in your goddamn poem. i.e ??!!!!????
Which at least three people pointed out is probably not the way to go, Tess, CDN and yours truly, all of whom are far better writers than you. Why did we bother?
Writing seems to be a joke to you, in which case I should have asked "a kid in the rain, where is the punchline?"

Or are you playing some weird role of agent provocateur?

Oh, it is all impulse...right, rein it in.
And if you think that for some reason, you are the better poet, I would love to know the reason. I am a student of these things.
Click to expand...

Trix asked me a question & I replied to her [ she did Not feel offended by my reply but You rushed into an area which was totally between two individuals & nothin' to do with you ] .Also you keep on postin' Offensive personal comments e.g. all of whom are better Poets than you : WHY ???????
if you feel so strongly that you are so superior to me as a Poet why don't you take out a 30-sec Ad in CNN stating " 1201 is a FAAAAR Superior poet compared to ashesh9 " ?????!!!! Tell the whole world to wake up to your Glory , o Ageless Wonder ......... U might even attract some Hollywood Moghul with a Bound script for a made to order Ageing Megalomaniac ............
 
A comment on commenting

I've begun a thread to revive some of the older poems on Lit, put them under the nose of newbies like myself.

Though some, perhaps many of the poets who's pieces I'm linking to are no longer active here. I still encourage comments.

Comments aren't just for the originating poet. They give insight all who read it. Whether it's simply the possibly differing emotions evoked or actual insights into the structure of the piece. These are good things for other poets to hear and think about. Digesting and incorporating all the good information and advice from comments will take me a while, years I suspect, but I've got little hope of change/improvement without the insights garnered here from the perspective of others.

So to those of you inclined to comment, a heartfelt thanks. I personally only comment on pieces that I connect with or come oh so close to connecting with. Even though I feel silly doing so in some cases "you've got to give a little, take a little, let your poor heart break a little..."
 
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