bdsm turns me on...would like advice from subs

My husband and I have had rough sex on a few occasions, but we are wanting to ramp it up. I would like to know more about this lifestyle and suggestions for newbies. My husband has always been intrigued by bdsm and is very excited that I'm on board with it, but I want to start at a beginners level..
Tied up, nipple clamps, whipped etc....any other ideas would be appreciated so that my husband/master can discuss them

If you look at the top of the main BDSM Forum page you'll see a thread labeled "Library." Go there and wander around to see all the different topics that have been archived there. Chances are, you'll find more than a few on how to get started and in those places you'll find contributions from very serious long-time BDSMers who are no longer active here. In other words, there's lots of wisdom already in place for you to browse at your leisure.

That said, be sure to look for discussions about books on BDSM because there are some excellent books to be had. And, since Amazon is your friend, you won't have to buy them under the watchful eye of that prudish bookseller in your town.

Enjoy. Join in the conversations here and get to know folks. The room is warm, the people are friendly, and the drinks are free.

Read stories and see how it makes you feel. If you get wet you know you want to give it a go and just explore. Been submissive for well over 30 years just enjoy yourselves. Some things you will hate but others really like. Now me I just love a good spanking but done with a cane can become a punishment as I don’t like it.

Remember that trust is #1, when you are in the totally controlled situation you have to TRUST that person. Also when you find something you want to try, talk to each other and express both of your expectations, after you have experimented for a while you will learn what each other prefers to feel comfortable with.

Remember that it's okay to try things. Also remember that it's okay *not* to try them.

Before you and your husband try anything, discuss the concept as a whole with each other. Make sure you agree on what BDSM means to you, and what it means that he's your Master.

When you find something you want to try, discuss it. Make sure you're on the same page about wanting to do it. Have agreements in place about what happens if one of you can't handle something or realize you don't actually want it. (For example, set a safe word you can use if you're unable to handle what he's doing.) Just because *one* of you wants to try something doesn't mean the other has to agree; you both have the right to set limits about activities you're unwilling or unable to engage in, unless you've already agreed to give up that right.

Is he your Master, as in you're his slave, or is he your Dominant and you're his submissive? Or is it just that he's topping you, and you're bottoming for him? There are a lot of variations among the possible dynamics, and it's important that you both agree on what your specific dynamic is.

Do a lot of reading. In addition to the information and advice you'll find here, there's another site online that's all about kink (sorry, I can't remember if it's okay to name other websites on here...), where you can also get some good advice and information. Research things. Find classes in your area; if you live in or near a major city, or even if not in some parts of the country, there's likely to be a kink community that offers educational opportunities about various aspects of kink and BDSM. The other site I mentioned is a good way to find events where you can connect with the community in your area.

Most importantly, communicate. BDSM isn't only about rough sex; there's a lot more to it. And as SissySalina says, it's about trust, and in order to trust each other enough to engage in this, it's important to discuss EVERYTHING and agree on what you're doing and how.

This thread is three years old.

Information is always good - so pushing an old thread to the top isn't a bad thing.

Just curious why people respond to a two year old thread with advice, as if the person who posted the question 2 years ago is hanging around. Having said that, a few folks have come back and chimed in years later! That's always a pleasant surprise!!

cookiecat said:

This thread is three years old.

Information is always good - so pushing an old thread to the top isn't a bad thing.

Just curious why people respond to a two year old thread with advice, as if the person who posted the question 2 years ago is hanging around. Having said that, a few folks have come back and chimed in years later! That's always a pleasant surprise!!

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Because you never know who may need the info, and it is still relevant today.

SissySalina said:

Remember that trust is #1, when you are in the totally controlled situation you have to TRUST that person.

Click to expand...

Trust is not a unit to measure safety in.

The good guy will be a good guy, whether you trust him or not, the bad guy will be a bad guy whether you trust him or not.

Humans are not screwed over by people they don't trust, they are screwed over by people they do trust.

Primalex said:

Trust is not a unit to measure safety in.

The good guy will be a good guy, whether you trust him or not, the bad guy will be a bad guy whether you trust him or not.

Humans are not screwed over by people they don't trust, they are screwed over by people they do trust.

Click to expand...

Well said and absolutely true. Unfortunately, it is always the people you trust who hold the power to cause the most pain.

SissySalina said:

Because you never know who may need the info, and it is still relevant today.

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Right. I said that.

My question was to the person who found the thread, how he found it, why the reply as if the OP asked it today.

Doesn't really matter. I was just curious.