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How to Manhandle a Woman

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ChatterCock

Really Experienced
Joined
Aug 13, 2015
Posts
113
I am a gentle and respectful guy, but a new potential partner has asked me to be rough with her when I take her. In her words, to manhandle her. Some light bruising is okay with her, as is hair pulling.

How do I do this? What is she looking for? I am not a weightlifter by any means.

I can see myself pulling off her clothes, possibly holding her hands together, maybe guiding her to the bed by pulling her hair, but what are some good pointers?
 
ChatterCock said:
I am a gentle and respectful guy, but a new potential partner has asked me to be rough with her when I take her. In her words, to manhandle her. Some light bruising is okay with her, as is hair pulling.

How do I do this? What is she looking for? I am not a weightlifter by any means.

I can see myself pulling off her clothes, possibly holding her hands together, maybe guiding her to the bed by pulling her hair, but what are some good pointers?
Click to expand...

Grasping the hair firmly near the roots is good (for me, anyway...), also using that as a way to control my head...

There are lots of helpful peeps on the BDSM forums here, they might be able to give some good tips.
 
It's a state of mind more than any physical actions, and that's the hardest here. You should pretend to yourself you're not caring about how she feels. Like you see her first and last time, and your only objective is to get your nuts off, and there's no tomorrow. Stop be afraid to do something wrong. Stop be afraid about her or what she will think after. Stop be afraid from yourself, let the animal out, it is there somewhere, deep down, repressed and denied.

It does not matter how strong you are, it is all a show anyway. Let your actions to be strict, well defined, and most important of all finished with no uncertainty or lingering question waiting approval. Do whatever you want without hesitation, that's the very point, do what you want.
 
LupusDei said:
It's a state of mind more than any physical actions, and that's the hardest here. You should pretend to yourself you're not caring about how she feels. Like you see her first and last time, and your only objective is to get your nuts off, and there's no tomorrow. Stop be afraid to do something wrong. Stop be afraid about her or what she will think after. Stop be afraid from yourself, let the animal out, it is there somewhere, deep down, repressed and denied.

It does not matter how strong you are, it is all a show anyway. Let your actions to be strict, well defined, and most important of all finished with no uncertainty or lingering question waiting approval. Do whatever you want without hesitation, that's the very point, do what you want.
Click to expand...

As someone who loves being manhandled, I don't think that's great advice. The whole dynamic is totally contingent on me utterly trusting that he *does* care how I feel. I know he's watching me every second to see how I'm reacting to whatever he's doing.

As Numeniusa suggested, the hair is a good starting place - a lot of women definitely prefer a good firm hold near the roots, rather than grabbing it at the end and pulling. It's reasonably non-threatening, and a good starting point for gauging her reaction and your own ... it's the first thing my BF ever did to me along those lines and I think we were both a bit surprised by the result. We weren't even doing anything - he just wrapped my hair around his fingers and pulled my head back while looking at me.
Maybe try pushing your fingers in her hair while she's giving you a blow job and guiding her - just a bit to start with, and again pay attention. Some people love gagging - others not so much.

My overall suggestion is to start slow and build up. You'll work it out. And yes, have a trawl around the bdsm threads. (Though remember they're bdsm threads ... most of it probably should come with a 'don't try this at home unless you're bloody sure you know what you're doing and it's all entirely consensual' warning.)

Also, talk. When you've finished doing something and you're just lying around together, talk about what you did, how you felt, ask her how she felt, find out what she'd like to do again, what she might like to push further. Talking is key.

(I've got a thread that is a VERY long discussion of my shift into this sort of sex, if you're interested.)
 
Just another thought ... there's a few great photo threads in the BDSM forums. We often use them as 'testing ground' - I might send him something that I think is 'interesting' and see how he feels about it, for example. That can be a useful way of assessing where your respective turn ons might start. But also be prepared to be surprised - we've broken a LOT of 'hard limits' in the last three years. ;)
 
First of all, there're a lot of instruction videos online for rough sex and beyond. For example, kink.com has an amazing website called kinkuniversity.com, that has a lot of instructional videos for every possible fetish and type of play.
Such as these ones:
Rough sex best positions
Primal play (biting scratching pinning)
Rough sex: pillowcase tricks
How to dominate with your eyes

And that's just from the first page of the site (okay, from the second).

I will note that these videos can be found online for free, but weather or not to take the pirate route is your choice.

As for my basic tips, here's for starters:
1) Holding her. The very basic idea is restraining her movements. Hold her hands behind her back, pin her down into the bed, stand behind her and wrap your hand above or below her breasts, holding her down. Pay special attention to restraining her hands - holding them down durind sex or making her hold them behind her back. Free hands are what makes a difference in feeling helpless and opressed - which is what she wants.
2) Navigating her. When you want to change position, have her go down on her knees and suck your cock, lie on her back in bed - do not let her make the motion. Grab her and push her body in a position you want. She doesn't need to struggle or anything, and she'll likely just follow your motion, but the mere fact that you push her insread of asking gently is a powerful thing.
3) Be grabby. You want to touch something - you do that. Grab and squeeze her tits with your hands, don't try to be gentle. Pinch her nipples. Spread her ass cheeks. Pull her skirt up unceremoniously, as if she's a toy and you are pulling the wraps Part of manhandling is touching and grabbing her in all intimate places without restraint. This makes a girl feel owned and that her privacy and sacred areas that are normally worshiped - are your things to do with as you please.
4) Spanking. It's always a surething way to rough sex. You may want to actually put her over the knee and spank her. Or you may give her ass a few good swats without it - during sex from behind, for example.
5) Make her keep positions. For example in missionary, make her hold her hands behind her back. Order her to pull on ehr nipples and pinch them. Make her do restrictive or humiliating stuff.
6) Order her to masturbate. After pulling her around for a bit and establishing the rough sex scene - order her to spread her legs and masturbate for you. Watch calmly her do that.
7) Use your teeth? I don't mean biting - that can leave long-term marks. Just graze her nipple with your teeth when kissing her breasts, or do the came with your inner thigh/labia when you eat her out.
8) Try to not ask for advises, reactions, how she liked it or not. That breaks the mood.
9) Agree on a safeword. It's not bondage yet, but it's getting there. If she's hurt or dislikes something, she needs to have a quick way to communicate it. You hear a safeword - you look at her to gauge if she's in distress or not. If she is - it's reasonable to confirm she wants to continue. If she seems fine but jsut hated a certain thing - move on. Safeword is absolute.

You mentioned hair pulling. It's a bit tricky. Basically, hair can take A LOT of pulling, a person can actually be hanged by the hair and it will endure the body weight. But doing that without hurting too much requires a bit of practice.
Basically the problem here is when a small strand of hair (or even a few hairs) ends up shorter than the rest of the bunch you are holding. If you then pull, the majority of the mane is still relaxed by the time that hair strand is pulled. This will cause intense pain and can even rip the small strands out.
What you want to make sure is that your hold is even over a large mass of hair.
I suggest you to straighten her hair behind her back, then gather it kinda like you are making a pinytail. Make a few gathering (relaxed) passes, making sure that all hair is equally taught. Then you can grab that ponytail firmer and control her with it. Don't pull for the sake of pulling - instead move your hand to make her move - she will have to follow her hair. Make her walk to the right, then quickly switch direction and make her stumble a bit and make a sharp turn. Pull the hair down, making her bend over. Bonus points if you are free enough to give her ass a few spanks.

You mentioned bruising. My advice - avoid it. Hold firm but not the steel gorilla grip. It's better to restrain her movement than to squeeze her wrists hard with your fingers. You can play rough without any bruises. Note though, that some girls may bruise from a feather falling - then it can't really be helped, but still try to avoid it.

Discuss it and agree to keep it simple for the first time. For example, she should not struggle or fight you the first times. She can easily overwhelm you physically or even emotionally, and that will ruin the entire mood for both. Manhandling a struggling person is MUCH more advanced thing.
Empathise that you want to learn and that you may be slow at first but you are doing your best.

Rough sex doesn't mean you are cold and uncaring! It means you are passionate and possessive, you want to own her, overwhelm her. You want her so much you are owning her entirely, weather she wants it or not. That's the type of vibe and mentality you want to adopt. It's not about satisfying yourself only! It's about both her and yourself, but your passion burn hot until it scorches, until you devour her and she becomes losing herself in it.

Good luck.
 
Last edited:
The secret to amazing sex - communication!

Great communication is in place before you have even started so I am sure it will continue. Just follow her lead, she will guide you along until you are confidant.

Just remember "manhandle" does not necessarily mean dominance, though I'm sure she would communicate that with you as well if that is her thing.

It can be a little confronting to have someone request or even demand what your instincts tell you to stop short of, but remember as long as the communication is flowing you will be offering exactly what makes her happy.

Be honest of this being a new experience and just ask that she initially guide you. Let her feel confidant that you will listen. If she says "harder" then go harder. She will let you know if it is too much.

Everyone is different so the only suggestion I will offer is ask, listen and respond. Then pay attention to the results of your efforts. If you are doing it right she will let you know.

Congratulations on discovering a potential partner who is open with communication and expressing desires. You are likely to be in for the time of your life.

I had a partner who was into pain. Very confronting for me initially, but pleasure of my partners is always paramount. In the years we were together I never "got off" on delivering the pain, but I was rewarded for witnessing the pleasure it provided for them and of their giving in return and understanding of my pleasures. So whatever the requested manhandling may be in your situation, rise up to the occasion and have fun. If she is important to you I'm sure you will learn fast.

Be open to learn and experience, that will overcome insecurities. Oh, don't be afraid to have a good laugh if it gets clumsy from time to time - you will get better at it.
 
Nezhul said:
First of all, there're a lot of instruction videos online for rough sex and beyond. For example, kink.com has an amazing website called kinkuniversity.com, that has a lot of instructional videos for every possible fetish and type of play.
Such as these ones:
Rough sex best positions
Primal play (biting scratching pinning)
Rough sex: pillowcase tricks
How to dominate with your eyes

And that's just from the first page of the site (okay, from the second).

I will note that these videos can be found online for free, but weather or not to take the pirate route is your choice.

As for my basic tips, here's for starters:
1) Holding her. The very basic idea is restraining her movements. Hold her hands behind her back, pin her down into the bed, stand behind her and wrap your hand above or below her breasts, holding her down. Pay special attention to restraining her hands - holding them down durind sex or making her hold them behind her back. Free hands are what makes a difference in feeling helpless and opressed - which is what she wants.
2) Navigating her. When you want to change position, have her go down on her knees and suck your cock, lie on her back in bed - do not let her make the motion. Grab her and push her body in a position you want. She doesn't need to struggle or anything, and she'll likely just follow your motion, but the mere fact that you push her insread of asking gently is a powerful thing.
3) Be grabby. You want to touch something - you do that. Grab and squeeze her tits with your hands, don't try to be gentle. Pinch her nipples. Spread her ass cheeks. Pull her skirt up unceremoniously, as if she's a toy and you are pulling the wraps Part of manhandling is touching and grabbing her in all intimate places without restraint. This makes a girl feel owned and that her privacy and sacred areas that are normally worshiped - are your things to do with as you please.
4) Spanking. It's always a surething way to rough sex. You may want to actually put her over the knee and spank her. Or you may give her ass a few good swats without it - during sex from behind, for example.
5) Make her keep positions. For example in missionary, make her hold her hands behind her back. Order her to pull on ehr nipples and pinch them. Make her do restrictive or humiliating stuff.
6) Order her to masturbate. After pulling her around for a bit and establishing the rough sex scene - order her to spread her legs and masturbate for you. Watch calmly her do that.
7) Use your teeth? I don't mean biting - that can leave long-term marks. Just graze her nipple with your teeth when kissing her breasts, or do the came with your inner thigh/labia when you eat her out.
8) Try to not ask for advises, reactions, how she liked it or not. That breaks the mood.
9) Agree on a safeword. It's not bondage yet, but it's getting there. If she's hurt or dislikes something, she needs to have a quick way to communicate it. You hear a safeword - you look at her to gauge if she's in distress or not. If she is - it's reasonable to confirm she wants to continue. If she seems fine but jsut hated a certain thing - move on. Safeword is absolute.

You mentioned hair pulling. It's a bit tricky. Basically, hair can take A LOT of pulling, a person can actually be hanged by the hair and it will endure the body weight. But doing that without hurting too much requires a bit of practice.
Basically the problem here is when a small strand of hair (or even a few hairs) ends up shorter than the rest of the bunch you are holding. If you then pull, the majority of the mane is still relaxed by the time that hair strand is pulled. This will cause intense pain and can even rip the small strands out.
What you want to make sure is that your hold is even over a large mass of hair.
I suggest you to straighten her hair behind her back, then gather it kinda like you are making a pinytail. Make a few gathering (relaxed) passes, making sure that all hair is equally taught. Then you can grab that ponytail firmer and control her with it. Don't pull for the sake of pulling - instead move your hand to make her move - she will have to follow her hair. Make her walk to the right, then quickly switch direction and make her stumble a bit and make a sharp turn. Pull the hair down, making her bend over. Bonus points if you are free enough to give her ass a few spanks.

You mentioned bruising. My advice - avoid it. Hold firm but not the steel gorilla grip. It's better to restrain her movement than to squeeze her wrists hard with your fingers. You can play rough without any bruises. Note though, that some girls may bruise from a feather falling - then it can't really be helped, but still try to avoid it.

Discuss it and agree to keep it simple for the first time. For example, she should not struggle or fight you the first times. She can easily overwhelm you physically or even emotionally, and that will ruin the entire mood for both. Manhandling a struggling person is MUCH more advanced thing.
Empathise that you want to learn and that you may be slow at first but you are doing your best.

Rough sex doesn't mean you are cold and uncaring! It means you are passionate and possessive, you want to own her, overwhelm her. You want her so much you are owning her entirely, weather she wants it or not. That's the type of vibe and mentality you want to adopt. It's not about satisfying yourself only! It's about both her and yourself, but your passion burn hot until it scorches, until you devour her and she becomes losing herself in it.

Good luck.
Click to expand...
Love this, wish there was a way to save posts made in threads
 
ChatterCock said:
I am a gentle and respectful guy, but a new potential partner has asked me to be rough with her when I take her. In her words, to manhandle her. Some light bruising is okay with her, as is hair pulling.

How do I do this? What is she looking for? I am not a weightlifter by any means.

I can see myself pulling off her clothes, possibly holding her hands together, maybe guiding her to the bed by pulling her hair, but what are some good pointers?
Click to expand...

What do you do? You don't. Crazies like this seem yto await the opportunity for you to get them angry, then it's off to the police where they tell of all the emotional and physical trauma they have suffered at your hands because of your lusty appetites. Tell her to forget about it, or have her sign a waiver stating this is what she wants you to do. Trust me, CYA was invented for a reason.
 
kurrginatorX said:
What do you do? You don't. Crazies like this seem yto await the opportunity for you to get them angry, then it's off to the police where they tell of all the emotional and physical trauma they have suffered at your hands because of your lusty appetites.
Click to expand...

What a bizarre and misguided thing to say.

Tell her to forget about it, or have her sign a waiver stating this is what she wants you to do. Trust me, CYA was invented for a reason.
Click to expand...

Yeah, nah. Bad idea.

In many places, it isn't possible to give legal consent to "assault", and people who engage in BDSM can be prosecuted even if everybody agrees that everything that happened was consensual. In such cases, a waiver is far more useful for the prosecution than for the defense. It helps establish that the "assault" occurred (which is very important for the prosecutor when the "victim" isn't cooperative) and it establishes premeditation, which will earn an increase on the sentence.
 
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