Old 12-21-2013, 10:35 AM   #76
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meanwhile Evil Dick is tearing poems apart, for those that fear to tread in New Poems
This is highly recommended

Walking Jake
byOldbear63
A simple walking the dog poem, eh? This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
at first read you will probably feel a little dissatisfied, and slightly bothered, he is running two different things and intersecting. An extensive comment ( I torn it apart) was left there, and what I said did not cover it all, and I am not going to give you that this is simply lovely writing bullshit.
Standard disclaimer: I do not know this person, only looking at his work, because he leaves comments, I began to notice a few things in previous work, but as said
This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
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Old 12-21-2013, 03:50 PM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
meanwhile Evil Dick is tearing poems apart, for those that fear to tread in New Poems
This is highly recommended

Walking Jake
byOldbear63
A simple walking the dog poem, eh? This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
at first read you will probably feel a little dissatisfied, and slightly bothered, he is running two different things and intersecting. An extensive comment ( I torn it apart) was left there, and what I said did not cover it all, and I am not going to give you that this is simply lovely writing bullshit.
Standard disclaimer: I do not know this person, only looking at his work, because he leaves comments, I began to notice a few things in previous work, but as said
This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
would like to second this, I have left my comments there as well, it is a really good piece of writing in my opinion
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Old 12-21-2013, 04:38 PM   #78
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also Quartet by twelveoone , dance barefoot by butters and just for fun Ode to A Barbequed Rib by LeopoldNicholas
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Old 12-23-2013, 02:01 PM   #79
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Go read 95% return on your investment today.
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Old 12-26-2013, 09:30 AM   #80
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Quartet

I also liked very much the poem "Quartet" by Twelveoone, mentioned above.
Well done, keep the music going!

Last edited by pelegrino : 12-26-2013 at 09:36 AM.
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Old 12-26-2013, 11:43 PM   #81
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Thumbs up Long live free wild life!

This one touches me much:
A Day At The Zoo

Last edited by pelegrino : 12-26-2013 at 11:45 PM.
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Old 12-27-2013, 07:41 AM   #82
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Quote:
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This one touches me much:
A Day At The Zoo
Agreed, but is it a good poem?
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:11 AM   #83
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Well... many times I cannot really tell what a good poem is. I think this one is a good poem though.
It made me feel like I was there, watching the caged animal, feeling its eyes penetrating my soul, and ashamed at my inability to reply to its silent question.
that's all. What is a good poem?
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:27 AM   #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino View Post
Well... many times I cannot really tell what a good poem is. I think this one is a good poem though.
It made me feel like I was there, watching the caged animal, feeling its eyes penetrating my soul, and ashamed at my inability to reply to its silent question.
that's all. What is a good poem?
If you liked the poem and it made you feel something, it is a good poem in your opinion and worthy of that recommend you gave it. oneiria writes well, go and read the body of work on their submission page. Reading others poetry not only teaches you what good poetry is, it also improves your own writing.
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:30 AM   #85
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I think this one by demure 101 is really grooving:
Uncertain Pleasures
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:45 AM   #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neonurotic View Post
If you liked the poem and it made you feel something, it is a good poem in your opinion and worthy of that recommend you gave it. oneiria writes well, go and read the body of work on their submission page. Reading others poetry not only teaches you what good poetry is, it also improves your own writing.
I know all that stuff, sir. I do it all my life, but like I said, many times I still don't know what a good poem is, nor do I care for that matter. If it clicks, it clicks. My question was only rhetorical.

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Old 12-28-2013, 06:48 AM   #87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino View Post
Well... many times I cannot really tell what a good poem is. I think this one is a good poem though.
It made me feel like I was there, watching the caged animal, feeling its eyes penetrating my soul, and ashamed at my inability to reply to its silent question.
that's all. What is a good poem?
Pelegrino and ishtat wonder about A Day at the Zoo.

This poem is good all the way until and including words watch you (in the line next to the last line). Then the last three words: and ask, / Why? have lost it--the poem was released prematurely.

Happy New Year,
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:12 PM   #88
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Recommending this one today since it wasn't yesterday: On the Origin of Language by greenmountaineer. Go read if you haven't. It's good.




Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino View Post
I know all that stuff, sir. I do it all my life, but like I said, many times I still don't know what a good poem is, nor do I care for that matter. If it clicks, it clicks. My question was only rhetorical.
You're mistaken if you thought my reply to your question was condescending. I thought you were new to the forums and new to poetry so I gave a more amiable response to you in what might have been perceived as a biting a reply from Ishtat. Obviously not.

Anyway, welcome to the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum.
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Last edited by Neonurotic : 12-28-2013 at 12:34 PM. Reason: keeping on topic
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Old 12-28-2013, 07:13 PM   #89
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Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by Senna Jawa View Post
Pelegrino and ishtat wonder about A Day at the Zoo.

This poem is good all the way until and including words watch you (in the line next to the last line). Then the last three words: and ask, / Why? have lost it--the poem was released prematurely.

Happy New Year,

No sir, I don't wonder about "A Day In The Zoo". I stated clearly that it touches me very much and I like it.

Happy New Year, too!

Last edited by pelegrino : 12-28-2013 at 08:40 PM.
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Old 12-28-2013, 08:23 PM   #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neonurotic View Post
Recommending this one today since it wasn't yesterday: On the Origin of Language by greenmountaineer. Go read if you haven't. It's good.






You're mistaken if you thought my reply to your question was condescending. I thought you were new to the forums and new to poetry so I gave a more amiable response to you in what might have been perceived as a biting a reply from Ishtat. Obviously not.

Anyway, welcome to the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum.

No sir, I did not think your reply was condescending but tiresome. You seem to assume many things as you yourself say:
1. That I have not read other poems by oneiria. I have, quite a few.
2. That I am new to poetry. I am not, but poetry is new to me every day.
3. That I may perceive Ishtat's question "as a biting a reply". However that may be, I would reply to him only if I wanted to.

If you say that your response was more amiable, then I take it as such.
Thank you very much for your welcome. No offence intended.
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:31 PM   #91
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Quote:
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I don't wonder about "A Day In The Zoo".
I stand corrected.
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Old 12-29-2013, 01:03 PM   #92
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now if I did shit like this, (which I do now) some moder-rator would swoop down upon my ass and remind me that this belongs in another thread i.e. PFD diss con cusion
Clean up in Aisle One.
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Old 12-30-2013, 01:49 AM   #93
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I enjoyed reading and I recommend for today:
Wind And Rain and Conscience by demure101
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Old 01-03-2014, 01:21 PM   #94
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I took a fast look in nps today recommending the only two I read. Driving South by Oldbear63 and Delicious Possibility by Ashesh9
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:25 AM   #95
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I do think theoncomingstorm has 'borrowed' My 2014 Life Rules a list poem from Facebook where I read the same list just the other day.
Also And I know things now... by Butterflies512 has some 'borrowed' lines too, the most famous of which is 'go gentle into the good night' by Dylan Thomas and 'sisters of our hearts' is a novel title by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni.
Not recommendations but to inform
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:51 AM   #96
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recommending Snowscape by oneiria

one word i'd suggest trimming, and not entirely sure the title adds anything but it doesn't distract, either.
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Old 01-05-2014, 09:13 AM   #97
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greenmountaineer's washing dishes with the dalai lama (better than the dali llama though perhaps not as funny. sorry.)

simple, strong message, delivered through the medium of doing something simple well. almost meditative, with its chant-like structuring.
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Old 01-09-2014, 05:30 AM   #98
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moonstruck by neoneurotic, as is often the case neo packs so much into short compact lines, rarely wastes a word.
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Old 01-09-2014, 10:33 AM   #99
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I agree with the above comment and I second the recommendation
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:59 PM   #100
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Moonstruck by Neo, and the Stoning one by Greenmountaineer are the pick for the 9th January. I had to read GMT's two or three times to get full value - a common experience with this poet - but worth while.

There is also some particularly good stuff on the "Discipline" thread. Read 'em all, there's only a few.
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