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12-21-2013, 11:35 AM
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#76
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ground zero
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,882
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meanwhile Evil Dick is tearing poems apart, for those that fear to tread in New Poems
This is highly recommended
Walking Jake
byOldbear63©
A simple walking the dog poem, eh? This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
at first read you will probably feel a little dissatisfied, and slightly bothered, he is running two different things and intersecting. An extensive comment ( I torn it apart) was left there, and what I said did not cover it all, and I am not going to give you that this is simply lovely writing bullshit.
Standard disclaimer: I do not know this person, only looking at his work, because he leaves comments, I began to notice a few things in previous work, but as said
This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
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12-21-2013, 04:50 PM
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#77
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Literotica Guru
todski28 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,649
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone
meanwhile Evil Dick is tearing poems apart, for those that fear to tread in New Poems
This is highly recommended
Walking Jake
byOldbear63©
A simple walking the dog poem, eh? This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
at first read you will probably feel a little dissatisfied, and slightly bothered, he is running two different things and intersecting. An extensive comment ( I torn it apart) was left there, and what I said did not cover it all, and I am not going to give you that this is simply lovely writing bullshit.
Standard disclaimer: I do not know this person, only looking at his work, because he leaves comments, I began to notice a few things in previous work, but as said
This is one of the few I go back to just to see what really happened.
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would like to second this, I have left my comments there as well, it is a really good piece of writing in my opinion
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12-21-2013, 05:38 PM
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#78
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Just Chilling
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 8,471
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__________________
Fairyland Theatre a three act comedy in prose and poetry... A sheened pearl of ice in the feeble dawn,
cracked, flawed, a chip gone, ghostly quiet in a misty fen, shattered with the first roar, melted with flames.
0 days accident free
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
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12-23-2013, 03:01 PM
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#79
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Just Chilling
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 8,471
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Go read 95% return on your investment today. 
__________________
Fairyland Theatre a three act comedy in prose and poetry... A sheened pearl of ice in the feeble dawn,
cracked, flawed, a chip gone, ghostly quiet in a misty fen, shattered with the first roar, melted with flames.
0 days accident free
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
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12-26-2013, 10:30 AM
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#80
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 989
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Quartet
I also liked very much the poem "Quartet" by Twelveoone, mentioned above.
Well done, keep the music going!
Last edited by pelegrino : 12-26-2013 at 10:36 AM.
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12-27-2013, 12:43 AM
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#81
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
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Long live free wild life!
This one touches me much:
A Day At The Zoo
Last edited by pelegrino : 12-27-2013 at 12:45 AM.
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12-27-2013, 08:41 AM
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#82
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Literotica Guru
ishtat is offline
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Outback Again
Posts: 3,761
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino
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Agreed, but is it a good poem? 
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12-28-2013, 02:11 AM
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#83
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
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Well... many times I cannot really tell what a good poem is. I think this one is a good poem though.
It made me feel like I was there, watching the caged animal, feeling its eyes penetrating my soul, and ashamed at my inability to reply to its silent question.
that's all. What is a good poem?
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12-28-2013, 02:27 AM
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#84
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Share some skin
Neonurotic is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Venice of Japan
Posts: 1,388
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino
Well... many times I cannot really tell what a good poem is. I think this one is a good poem though.
It made me feel like I was there, watching the caged animal, feeling its eyes penetrating my soul, and ashamed at my inability to reply to its silent question.
that's all. What is a good poem?
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If you liked the poem and it made you feel something, it is a good poem in your opinion and worthy of that recommend you gave it. oneiria writes well, go and read the body of work on their submission page. Reading others poetry not only teaches you what good poetry is, it also improves your own writing.
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12-28-2013, 02:30 AM
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#85
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Europe
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I think this one by demure 101 is really grooving:
Uncertain Pleasures
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12-28-2013, 02:45 AM
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#86
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neonurotic
If you liked the poem and it made you feel something, it is a good poem in your opinion and worthy of that recommend you gave it. oneiria writes well, go and read the body of work on their submission page. Reading others poetry not only teaches you what good poetry is, it also improves your own writing.
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I know all that stuff, sir. I do it all my life, but like I said, many times I still don't know what a good poem is, nor do I care for that matter. If it clicks, it clicks. My question was only rhetorical.
Last edited by pelegrino : 12-28-2013 at 03:03 AM.
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12-28-2013, 07:48 AM
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#87
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Literotica Guru
Senna Jawa is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: sqrt(-1)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino
Well... many times I cannot really tell what a good poem is. I think this one is a good poem though.
It made me feel like I was there, watching the caged animal, feeling its eyes penetrating my soul, and ashamed at my inability to reply to its silent question.
that's all. What is a good poem?
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Pelegrino and ishtat wonder about A Day at the Zoo.
This poem is good all the way until and including words watch you (in the line next to the last line). Then the last three words: and ask, / Why? have lost it--the poem was released prematurely.
Happy New Year,
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12-28-2013, 01:12 PM
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#88
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Share some skin
Neonurotic is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Venice of Japan
Posts: 1,388
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Recommending this one today since it wasn't yesterday: On the Origin of Language by greenmountaineer. Go read if you haven't. It's good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino
I know all that stuff, sir. I do it all my life, but like I said, many times I still don't know what a good poem is, nor do I care for that matter. If it clicks, it clicks. My question was only rhetorical.
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You're mistaken if you thought my reply to your question was condescending. I thought you were new to the forums and new to poetry so I gave a more amiable response to you in what might have been perceived as a biting a reply from Ishtat. Obviously not.
Anyway, welcome to the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum.
Last edited by Neonurotic : 12-28-2013 at 01:34 PM.
Reason: keeping on topic
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12-28-2013, 08:13 PM
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#89
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 989
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Senna Jawa
Pelegrino and ishtat wonder about A Day at the Zoo.
This poem is good all the way until and including words watch you (in the line next to the last line). Then the last three words: and ask, / Why? have lost it--the poem was released prematurely.
Happy New Year,
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No sir, I don't wonder about "A Day In The Zoo". I stated clearly that it touches me very much and I like it.
Happy New Year, too!
Last edited by pelegrino : 12-28-2013 at 09:40 PM.
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12-28-2013, 09:23 PM
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#90
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 989
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neonurotic
Recommending this one today since it wasn't yesterday: On the Origin of Language by greenmountaineer. Go read if you haven't. It's good.
You're mistaken if you thought my reply to your question was condescending. I thought you were new to the forums and new to poetry so I gave a more amiable response to you in what might have been perceived as a biting a reply from Ishtat. Obviously not.
Anyway, welcome to the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum.
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No sir, I did not think your reply was condescending but tiresome. You seem to assume many things as you yourself say:
1. That I have not read other poems by oneiria. I have, quite a few.
2. That I am new to poetry. I am not, but poetry is new to me every day.
3. That I may perceive Ishtat's question "as a biting a reply". However that may be, I would reply to him only if I wanted to.
If you say that your response was more amiable, then I take it as such.
Thank you very much for your welcome. No offence intended.
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12-29-2013, 12:31 AM
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#91
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Literotica Guru
Senna Jawa is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: sqrt(-1)
Posts: 3,034
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino
I don't wonder about "A Day In The Zoo".
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I stand corrected.
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12-29-2013, 02:03 PM
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#92
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ground zero
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,882
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now if I did shit like this, (which I do now) some moder-rator would swoop down upon my ass and remind me that this belongs in another thread i.e. PFD diss con cusion
Clean up in Aisle One.
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12-30-2013, 02:49 AM
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#93
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 989
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I enjoyed reading and I recommend for today:
Wind And Rain and Conscience by demure101
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01-03-2014, 02:21 PM
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#94
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Just Chilling
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 8,471
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I took a fast look in nps today recommending the only two I read. Driving South by Oldbear63 and Delicious Possibility by Ashesh9
__________________
Fairyland Theatre a three act comedy in prose and poetry... A sheened pearl of ice in the feeble dawn,
cracked, flawed, a chip gone, ghostly quiet in a misty fen, shattered with the first roar, melted with flames.
0 days accident free
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
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01-05-2014, 09:25 AM
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#95
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Gerund Whore
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,932
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I do think theoncomingstorm has 'borrowed' My 2014 Life Rules a list poem from Facebook where I read the same list just the other day.
Also And I know things now... by Butterflies512 has some 'borrowed' lines too, the most famous of which is 'go gentle into the good night' by Dylan Thomas and 'sisters of our hearts' is a novel title by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni.
Not recommendations but to inform
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
Last edited by UnderYourSpell : 01-05-2014 at 06:43 PM.
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01-05-2014, 09:51 AM
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#96
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Literotica Guru
butters is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: home
Posts: 62,851
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recommending Snowscape by oneiria
one word i'd suggest trimming, and not entirely sure the title adds anything but it doesn't distract, either.
__________________
William Dement (the father of sleep medicine) said:
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."
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01-05-2014, 10:13 AM
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#97
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Literotica Guru
butters is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: home
Posts: 62,851
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greenmountaineer's washing dishes with the dalai lama (better than the dali llama though perhaps not as funny. sorry.)
simple, strong message, delivered through the medium of doing something simple well. almost meditative, with its chant-like structuring.
__________________
William Dement (the father of sleep medicine) said:
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."
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01-09-2014, 06:30 AM
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#98
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Literotica Guru
todski28 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,649
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moonstruck by neoneurotic, as is often the case neo packs so much into short compact lines, rarely wastes a word.
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01-09-2014, 11:33 AM
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#99
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Literotica Guru
pelegrino is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 989
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I agree with the above comment and I second the recommendation
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01-09-2014, 07:59 PM
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#100
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Literotica Guru
ishtat is offline
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Outback Again
Posts: 3,761
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Moonstruck by Neo, and the Stoning one by Greenmountaineer are the pick for the 9th January. I had to read GMT's two or three times to get full value - a common experience with this poet - but worth while.
There is also some particularly good stuff on the "Discipline" thread. Read 'em all, there's only a few.
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