Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Poetry Feedback & Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 01-16-2018, 08:50 AM   #1
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
Anytine but Valentine Challenge



A while back Harry sponsored an Anything but Spring challenge which was well received and great fun.

It ain't spring yet but V'day is now less than a month away. If you like me live in dread of a forced dinner in the cold corner of an overcrowded, overpriced restaurant and the obligatory flowers and chocolate (although I'm of two minds about that), then this challenge is for you. But if, au contraire, this day is the highlight of an otherwise dreary February, put pen to paper and tell us why. Even if you are totally indifferent, cast aside your colic (or this year's flu) for moment and speak to us of nothingness.

Send me your rhyming verse of any form by private message, I'll start them posting on Feb. 7 with the authors revealed on Feb. 14.

__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-21-2018, 09:02 AM   #2
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
Entries are starting to trickle in. If there are more than 5 on Feb. 4, I'll start posting them in a separate thread then. This thread will be for comments and carefully considered guesses as to authorial attribution.
__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-25-2018, 04:27 PM   #3
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
A little background music while writing your Anytine but Valentine tome.
__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-25-2018, 09:32 PM   #4
HarryHill
Just Chilling
 
HarryHill's Avatar
 
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 8,044
I'm in
...
__________________

Voyages II < finished at last

0 days accident free


"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry

Last edited by HarryHill : 01-25-2018 at 09:51 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-26-2018, 05:02 PM   #5
butters
Literotica Guru
 
butters's Avatar
 
butters is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: home
Posts: 62,195
oh shit - had mine all ready to go, written today, then saw the challenge calls for RHYMING! *back to drawing board* that'll teach me to pay attention.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-26-2018, 09:47 PM   #6
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
No problem, ther is lots of time
__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2018, 09:32 AM   #7
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
By popular demand the rules have been relaxed
and non-rhyming entries won't be taxed
by rejection on inspection
but entries that rhyme
are still more sublime.
__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2018, 04:47 PM   #8
greenmountaineer
Literotica Guru
 
greenmountaineer is online now
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,369
I chuckled at “Calcium,” and the rhyme was effective, except for the last couplet IMO. It felt forced to me, and I think there could have been a better contrast to his girl getting candy, which, of course, doesn’t have to be contrasted, but I think an opportunity missed.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2018, 05:16 PM   #9
HarryHill
Just Chilling
 
HarryHill's Avatar
 
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 8,044
link the poems to this thread , fishy.
__________________

Voyages II < finished at last

0 days accident free


"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2018, 06:32 PM   #10
greenmountaineer
Literotica Guru
 
greenmountaineer is online now
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,369
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmountaineer View Post
I chuckled at “Calcium,” and the rhyme was effective, except for the last couplet IMO. It felt forced to me, and I think there could have been a better contrast to his girl getting candy, which, of course, doesn’t have to be contrasted, but I think an opportunity missed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryHill View Post
link the poems to this thread , fishy.
As requested http://forum.literotica.com/showpost...09&postcount=4
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2018, 07:19 PM   #11
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
The thread starts here Anytine but Valentine Challenge - poems only

Entries accepted until Feb 9.
__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here

Last edited by Piscator : 02-05-2018 at 07:30 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-06-2018, 06:22 PM   #12
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
In Calcium the 3 of the stanzas are all of different rhyme forms. I think the first is Ballad, the second Rhyming couplets and I'm not sure what the third is, I'm sure someone will enlighten me Then back to a Rhyming couplet at the end I don't know if this is deliberate or not but I did find it rather unsettling.
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-06-2018, 06:33 PM   #13
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
one more

There's a sneaky near rhyme in the middle

"And those of us,
lucky enough, graced with a squeeze,
pay the piper, and the florist,
and the Matre'D,"
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-06-2018, 06:35 PM   #14
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
Your love ran out

A triolet. 2nd and last lines look a bit long to me, but all the rhymes are there in the right places.
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-06-2018, 06:39 PM   #15
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
Rhymes with Love

All the end of lines rhyming with love is a bit much! But saying that I do appreciate what you did there.
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-06-2018, 06:43 PM   #16
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
Anything but

Second line should be love I think. Sneaks in as rhyming with a near rhyme.
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-06-2018, 06:52 PM   #17
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
Hiding

Stanza 3 has no rhymes that I can see, unlike the rest and two Ices rather close together, Every day is Valentine's day is a nice sentiment. I being English am not sure what settlement dates are!
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-09-2018, 10:18 PM   #18
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
Hiding

I see Hiding has been edited. Here we have rhyming couplets for stanzas 1.2 and 5 interspersed with well I'm not sure what. I did think Rhyming Triplets so went and did some research and no not those. So I tried a Tercet and I'm not sure that fits either, so it'll need someone like Tzara to stop me wondering, or perhaps the author will be kind enough to tell me after the Challenge is over
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits

Last edited by UnderYourSpell : 02-09-2018 at 10:21 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-11-2018, 04:39 PM   #19
HarryHill
Just Chilling
 
HarryHill's Avatar
 
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 8,044
Did I win?
__________________

Voyages II < finished at last

0 days accident free


"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-11-2018, 08:11 PM   #20
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
everyone is a winner
__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-11-2018, 10:51 PM   #21
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryHill View Post
Did I win?
Tell me which one is yours and I'll let you know
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-13-2018, 09:28 PM   #22
Piscator
Literotica Guru
 
Piscator's Avatar
 
Piscator is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 787
Authors attributed with poems in Anytine but Valentine Challenge - poems only thread
__________________
Piscator

Something's fishy here
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-13-2018, 09:33 PM   #23
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
 
UnderYourSpell's Avatar
 
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,782
Well done Piscator and thank you for running this challenge
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-13-2018, 10:33 PM   #24
HarryHill
Just Chilling
 
HarryHill's Avatar
 
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 8,044
tanks fishy, was fun
__________________

Voyages II < finished at last

0 days accident free


"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-14-2018, 08:38 AM   #25
greenmountaineer
Literotica Guru
 
greenmountaineer is online now
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,369
Thanks, Fisherman
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:18 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.