An Illustrated Guide to Frisky Euphemisms

Oh, heavens. I just read it. There's an old translation in R. Buchanan, Ballad Stories of the Affections from the Scandinavian (ca. 1869), pp. 32-44. Find it at archive.org.

Wretched translation, but still:

In at the door Sir Ebbe stept,
His drawn sword at his side,
And there beside the bridal bed
He slew the bonnie bride!

Lit wouldn't allow a story that ended this way, right?



Are you kidding? This is prototype Loving Wives BTB. Except that the modern version would have Adelus kidnapped and sold to a Mexican brothel and the brother ruined financially and killed by unknowns in a dark alley.

In at the door Mr. Ebbe stept
Magnum 44 at his side....


;)
 
In older norse literature I once encountered a story - actually a song - called "Ebbe Skammelson" that dates back to the 15th century at least... maybe as far as the 13th century. The story is about a guy - Ebbe - who gets called into service by the king and when he returns home he discovers that his brother has tricked his fiancee into marrying him by telling her a lie about Ebbe being killed in battle. Ebbe asked his former fiancee to give the brother the finger and run away with him, but she refused - marriage was kinda like a big thing and quite irrevocable back in the middle ages. Besides she was no longer a virgin and possibly pregnant. Instead she gave him the "I will always be there for you and love you... like a sister" bullshit speech.

So it ended with him killing both her and the brother for revenge and living the rest of his life as an outlaw.


Now, if that's not totally Loving Wives I don't know what is. ;)

Infidelty is quite a common phenomenon in Homer's Odeyssey. There are quite a few sexually explicit scenes in there. :D

And of course, if we take ancient literature into consideration, who can forget 'Kamasutra'?
 
Are you kidding? This is prototype Loving Wives BTB. Except that the modern version would have Adelus kidnapped and sold to a Mexican brothel and the brother ruined financially and killed by unknowns in a dark alley.

In at the door Mr. Ebbe stept
Magnum 44 at his side....


;)

There's the makings of a good ballad there!

But at Lit you're not supposed to kill for revenge, right?

You can:

Have her hurl herself off a bridge in remorse;

Have her run over by a truck outside the divorce court;

Have her contract AIDS and die;

Have a third party murder her for no good reason;

Have her survive for eighty years and die a bitter spinster;

all kinds of things. But not a killing which the reader is invited to approve of.
 
Infidelty is quite a common phenomenon in Homer's Odeyssey. There are quite a few sexually explicit scenes in there. :D

And of course, if we take ancient literature into consideration, who can forget 'Kamasutra'?

If I remember my ancient Greek lore correctly, Penelope stayed faithful to Odyssey despite a lot of pressure. And he took the opportunity to deal with everybody who had gunned for her as soon as he got home. In other words, a revenge story with a hot and faithful wife.


I haven't read the Kamasutra, but isn't it more like a manual rather than a novel? Like an Indian version of dr. Ruth?




Serafina1210 said:
There's the makings of a good ballad there!

But at Lit you're not supposed to kill for revenge, right?

You can:

Have her hurl herself off a bridge in remorse;

Have her run over by a truck outside the divorce court;

Have her contract AIDS and die;

Have a third party murder her for no good reason;

Have her survive for eighty years and die a bitter spinster;

all kinds of things. But not a killing which the reader is invited to approve of.

Believe you me Serafina - Inside the raw and merciless world of Lit I have read many stories where things got physical in the bad way. I don't recall the titles, but I can give you a few examples...

- Man discovers wife with lover. He waits for them to get finished - then proceeds to shoot them both and subsequently himself.

- Man overhears wife's plan to cheat. He switches the content of her spermacide capsules and lube to something nasty (he is a doctor) and takes off on a fishing trip. The wife and lover both die from severe infections and internal injuries.

- Man discovers his wife and her lover in a trailer having sex. He pours gasoline around it and drops a match.

- Man pays an AIDS-suffering prostitute a few hundred bucks for a vial of her blood and injects it into his cheating wife while she is passed out drunk. Both her and her lover die from the disease.

And those were in Loving Wives. Don't even get me started on Erotic Horror. :rolleyes:
 
- Man discovers wife with lover. He waits for them to get finished - then proceeds to shoot them both and subsequently himself.

- Man overhears wife's plan to cheat. He switches the content of her spermacide capsules and lube to something nasty (he is a doctor) and takes off on a fishing trip. The wife and lover both die from severe infections and internal injuries.

- Man discovers his wife and her lover in a trailer having sex. He pours gasoline around it and drops a match.

- Man pays an AIDS-suffering prostitute a few hundred bucks for a vial of her blood and injects it into his cheating wife while she is passed out drunk. Both her and her lover die from the disease.

And those were in Loving Wives. Don't even get me started on Erotic Horror. :rolleyes:

All I can say is: Eek!
 
All I can say is: Eek!

Yeah, some Litters seem to have more issues than the N.Y. Times. Especially that Anonymous dude. I usually go for a more benign conclusion to my stories - a fact which hasn't endeared me much to the readers judging from the feedback I get. Some of it would hurt really bad... that is, if I cared... :rolleyes:
 
Yeah, some Litters seem to have more issues than the N.Y. Times. Especially that Anonymous dude. I usually go for a more benign conclusion to my stories - a fact which hasn't endeared me much to the readers judging from the feedback I get. Some of it would hurt really bad... that is, if I cared... :rolleyes:

In LW, if it's not a death threat it counts as positive feedback.
 
Lunch Time

dainii (c)


"She swirled her tongue around the head..."


Tongue.jpg
 
You guys are all too damn talented!!!!

(I mean that as a compliment)
 
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Portrait of a new student who's realised that there's more to un-parented life than a smart phone and the nearest Starbucks.


Actually this particular student is doing rather well in her field at the moment, despite taking a lot of punishment (literally) in the process... :)

fifty_shades_of_grey.jpg
 
"That pushed Eric over the edge, and he announced that he was cumming..."


push_cliff.jpg



Oh, that's gold man, ridiculously funny!

Hilarious and brilliant all the way, thanks. My vote for No 1 (so far) must be the fall guy :)
 
... at Lit you're not supposed to kill for revenge, right?

You can:

Have her hurl herself off a bridge in remorse;

Have her run over by a truck outside the divorce court;

Have her contract AIDS and die;

Have a third party murder her for no good reason;

Have her survive for eighty years and die a bitter spinster;

all kinds of things. But not a killing which the reader is invited to approve of.

I just finished PRICKLY PAIRS (linked below) with Divine Justice pouring down on the cheaters, and the cheated getting away with clean hands and a fresh start. Is holy retribution (or blind fate) more humane than personal violence?

In UNDER HIS EYES (also linked below) the cheater accidentally kills the cheated, and still gets away scot-free. LW readers really did NOT like that ending. Is directed willful violence more acceptable than inadvertent manslaughter?

Let's see, what are some humane ways to terminate cheaters? They fall into a pool of quicksand. They're bitten by venomous creatures or devoured by wild carnivores. They're crushed or swept away by rockslide / landslide / mudslide / tsunami. They're pulped in a traffic wreck (I've seen this in a few tales). They're trampled by a panicked mob. Yeah, the fickle finger of fate is a handy device.
 
So Funny

This thread cannot be allowed to die. So funny.

I must self-report:

Tifany's Timidities Ch. 3
by Inkyscandal
www.literotica.com/s/tiffanys-timidities-ch-03

"Release ascended within her like a firework, riding a blaze of long-stored fuel into the untracked wilds of her libido."

Hahhahahahahhah. Granted, I wanted it to be a laugh-line, partly, but it also fit with the story. Feel free to Photoshop to death, it deserves it!
 
This thread cannot be allowed to die. So funny.

I must self-report:

Tifany's Timidities Ch. 3
by Inkyscandal
www.literotica.com/s/tiffanys-timidities-ch-03

"Release ascended within her like a firework, riding a blaze of long-stored fuel into the untracked wilds of her libido."

Hahhahahahahhah. Granted, I wanted it to be a laugh-line, partly, but it also fit with the story. Feel free to Photoshop to death, it deserves it!

Love the "untracked wilds"
 
In celebration of LC's latest accomplishment...


Siblings with Benefits Ch. 08

lovecraft68 (c)


"Laura let out a startled yelp then cried out even louder as she came like a rocket..."


rocket19.jpg



Congrats. :)

Wow, I just decided to catch up on the thread and here I am being featured in it.

I am flattered and annoyed, should have been she went off like a rocket...."

Nice take.
 
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