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Old 06-17-2012, 05:01 PM   #51
FurryFury
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Me too! So sorry this happened to you. Glad you finally got what you needed though.

Then there are those you advocate for that act like jerks and ruin in part of in whole, your attempts at helping them help themselves or get the care, or services they need.



Quote:
Originally Posted by desertslave View Post
Sometimes it's out of pure frustration and a healthy dose of skepticism. I've been blessed with an excellent primary doc who is very willing to send me to specialists for whatever I need if he feels it's something out of his depth; however, I've heard countless stories of doctors who are significantly less than responsive to physical OR mental problems.

My knees had been going to hell for several years when I finally went crying to my doc. I was only 44 at the time, but I've had a lifetime of injuries and injustices done to them. The first surgeon I saw agreed that they were basically at the end stage of their usefulness, but flat out refused to discuss joint replacement because he felt that I was too young. I waited a few years, doing whatever time-buying procedures my primary doc (who has a sports med sub specialty) could come up with. Three years later I went to a 2nd surgeon. He expressed concern over the age thing but was willing, if I lost some weight first. Not unreasonable, but seriously, when you're in severe, chronic pain the idea of exercising the offending objects really isn't funny. Surgeon 2 then dropped my insurance, right after I met his weight goal. The crying jag wasn't pretty. I finally got my new knees three years ago, and I will love that surgeon until the die I expire!

The point is, if someone has experience roadblocks in their healthcare before, they may not have nearly as much faith in their doctor, their insurer, or even themselves to the extent that they may need in order to pursue and even demand the care that they need. Additionally, they may not have the knowledge necessary to fight for themselves. I was a medical assistant for over 15 years, so I know the language and know the ropes quite well.

I wish everyone who is suffering an illness could have an advocate to negotiate on their behalf. Expecting those in mental or physical pain to be up to the task is often unrealistic.
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Old 06-17-2012, 05:04 PM   #52
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Good for you and good on your mom! Also HELLS yes! *group hug!*



Btw, some people find me irritating because I'm "too cheerful" and/or "too energetic" which I guess means to them that my life is better or more in some way then theirs. Nope. I'm fighting. My way. Most of the time it works well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Licia View Post
There is definitely no shame in seeking treatment. My mom knew that what I was going through was bigger than her and her daughter. She placed me in therapy more than once. Strange, dealing with simultaneous love and anger over the enitre situation. Thankfully, I was wise enough at that young age to realize that she was only trying to help me.

The real irony began when she asked if I had an interest in martial arts. She is not a fighter any shape or form, but ... by God her daughter was not going to suffer. She didn't understand me, but she recongnized early I needed a different sort of mental and physical discipline.

And she was right!

*group hug*

It's refreshing to see so many who would offer courage, heart and support.
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Old 06-17-2012, 06:10 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FurryFury View Post
I love you ladies but how does it make sense to not seek help and yes, go through as many as it takes to find the right person to help, when you need it?

This:

Quote:
Originally Posted by ownedsubgal View Post
the ingrained lack of regard or concern for your humanity, your personal story, your needs, in deference to worshiping the DSM as gospel law and blind prescribing of medication. you take the unbelievably frightening and courageous move of putting yourself out there, admitting to a strange outside source, "yes, i need help," only to be disregarded or treated as less than human.
And this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertslave View Post
Sometimes it's out of pure frustration and a healthy dose of skepticism.
I do not care anymore. The frustration of trying to find a doctor who's head isn't up his ass is way worse than coping. I don't have the patience, I don't have the time, and I DO NOT have the strength to talk to people who are morons and don't give a fuck.
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Old 06-17-2012, 06:20 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FurryFury View Post
Good for you and good on your mom! Also HELLS yes! *group hug!*



Btw, some people find me irritating because I'm "too cheerful" and/or "too energetic" which I guess means to them that my life is better or more in some way then theirs. Nope. I'm fighting. My way. Most of the time it works well.


I share the same optimistic curse.
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Old 06-17-2012, 06:54 PM   #55
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That I understand though I personally feel this way most often about medical doctors than counselors and all that area of "helping professions."

*hugs*



Quote:
Originally Posted by graceanne View Post
This:



And this:



I do not care anymore. The frustration of trying to find a doctor who's head isn't up his ass is way worse than coping. I don't have the patience, I don't have the time, and I DO NOT have the strength to talk to people who are morons and don't give a fuck.
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Old 06-17-2012, 06:55 PM   #56
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Don't hate us because we seem chipper! LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Licia View Post


I share the same optimistic curse.
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Old 06-17-2012, 06:56 PM   #57
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Now what about people who don't take the meds that they need to be safe to themselves and others? Any ideas?
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Old 06-17-2012, 07:35 PM   #58
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God, I feel like such an exhibitionist right now. I promise, I will stop talking about myself now. I just hope that maybe, if there's somebody lurking and reading who has this kind of problem, they'll see that there's a way out.

Also, if anybody wants to PM me about shit they don't wanna talk about in the thread, my PM box is open. I don't tell secrets that aren't mine to tell.
I hope you don't stop talking. The couple of times that you have spoken about your bipolar, you have given me such insight on what my 16-year-old niece is going through.

I have and can read tons of information on bipolar, but it doesn't give me what your posts have given me. I am very grateful for you sharing. Thank you!


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Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post
I sometimes have periods of anxiety and depression (Winter. Dear god, winter is not my friend.)
I had to look twice and see if it was actually me that posted this. And DAMN that anxiety and the havoc it causes with my sleep.

I agree with you regarding exercising. My job can be very intense and stressful, which can send my anxiety out of control. Exercising before work definitely helps with that. I am sure my co-workers are happy that I do.
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Old 06-17-2012, 07:40 PM   #59
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Now what about people who don't take the meds that they need to be safe to themselves and others? Any ideas?
I can sort of understand. Some meds have some pretty rough side effects.

I remember a horrible shooting at a shopping mall in PA, back in the mid 80s. The young woman who did it HAD been on meds, but reportedly she hated the way they made her feel. Her mother was raked over the coals for not being....mother enough (?) and making her (a legal adult) take her meds. The shooter had been in and out of the local psych hospital. She was miserable either way.
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Old 06-17-2012, 08:13 PM   #60
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I can understand about the meds. The ones I'm taking aren't the right ones but so far they've been the best. I'm less willing to talk and do things with others than I've ever been though. Most of you here probably don't even really remember me. I can't remember the last time I actively participated here or even elsewhere. I don't know that the meds are the reason I don't care to do much now. I know they contribute to it though. I wonder at what point it really becomes mental illness. We know so little about the mind. Meh. I'm just rambling on. I'm just glad that there is this discussion going on. It may inspire me to lurk some more.
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Old 06-17-2012, 10:42 PM   #61
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That's true some do.

In my girl's case, she is often nauseous from hers. If she takes them regularly that gets to be less though. She rarely takes them regularly.

When she takes them she is happier overall, better able to manage her studies and not attack those she is closest too all the time.

When she is off, she becomes teary and belligerent by turns.

Now you would think enough times on and off she'd "get it" but no.

My mother OTOH, her fav method of trying to kill herself is drugs. The doctors are always will give her more. Plus she drinks and now she is on extremely strong pain meds.

At one time I was given the chore of making sure she took her drugs but with an adult which both of them are, why don't folks understand you can't control anyone else without them letting you?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertslave View Post
I can sort of understand. Some meds have some pretty rough side effects.

I remember a horrible shooting at a shopping mall in PA, back in the mid 80s. The young woman who did it HAD been on meds, but reportedly she hated the way they made her feel. Her mother was raked over the coals for not being....mother enough (?) and making her (a legal adult) take her meds. The shooter had been in and out of the local psych hospital. She was miserable either way.
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Old 06-17-2012, 10:42 PM   #62
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It's been a while but yes. I remember you! *hugs* Glad to see you come around again!



Quote:
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I can understand about the meds. The ones I'm taking aren't the right ones but so far they've been the best. I'm less willing to talk and do things with others than I've ever been though. Most of you here probably don't even really remember me. I can't remember the last time I actively participated here or even elsewhere. I don't know that the meds are the reason I don't care to do much now. I know they contribute to it though. I wonder at what point it really becomes mental illness. We know so little about the mind. Meh. I'm just rambling on. I'm just glad that there is this discussion going on. It may inspire me to lurk some more.
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:08 AM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramarineblue View Post
I can understand about the meds. The ones I'm taking aren't the right ones but so far they've been the best. I'm less willing to talk and do things with others than I've ever been though. Most of you here probably don't even really remember me. I can't remember the last time I actively participated here or even elsewhere. I don't know that the meds are the reason I don't care to do much now. I know they contribute to it though. I wonder at what point it really becomes mental illness. We know so little about the mind. Meh. I'm just rambling on. I'm just glad that there is this discussion going on. It may inspire me to lurk some more.
Of course we remember you, silly goose. *hugs*
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:56 AM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FurryFury View Post
That I understand though I personally feel this way most often about medical doctors than counselors and all that area of "helping professions."

*hugs*

strange, i've had some pretty great luck (personality-wise) with medical doctors in my time. from dermatologists to orthodontists to optometrists to GPs, i've been treated by some excellently qualified, genuinely caring, open-minded and understanding individuals. the only exception to this would be gynos....for whatever reason they have all been true arseholes. but in general yeah, i dig MDs. it's only the head docs who approach me with coldness and rote academics. maybe when you reach a certain level of "crazy" they just don't care as much.
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Old 06-18-2012, 01:02 AM   #65
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Quote:
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strange, i've had some pretty great luck (personality-wise) with medical doctors in my time. from dermatologists to orthodontists to optometrists to GPs, i've been treated by some excellently qualified, genuinely caring, open-minded and understanding individuals. the only exception to this would be gynos....for whatever reason they have all been true arseholes. but in general yeah, i dig MDs. it's only the head docs who approach me with coldness and rote academics. maybe when you reach a certain level of "crazy" they just don't care as much.
Or maybe they're just ALL morons. People tell me, all the time, that I should become a shrink cause I'm a good listener. I won't do it, cause as far as I can tell becoming a psychologist makes you stupid, insensitive, and incapable of helping anyone.

But then, maybe it's cause a lot of psychologist get into psychology because of their own issues, and aren't actually qualified to help anyone.
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:53 AM   #66
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I do think if you are like my mother who won't let anything or anyone help her and acts out a lot doctors just give up on you and/or threaten you occasionally to try to knock some sense in you.

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Old 06-18-2012, 10:59 AM   #67
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I do think if you are like my mother who won't let anything or anyone help her and acts out a lot doctors just give up on you and/or threaten you occasionally to try to knock some sense in you.

unfortunately you don't have to have the make-up your mother does for those docs to treat you like crap.

i think Grace might have something with her "heal thyself" theory.
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Old 06-18-2012, 11:03 AM   #68
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I do get fed up and "heal myself" at times. Yep.



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unfortunately you don't have to have the make-up your mother does for those docs to treat you like crap.

i think Grace might have something with her "heal thyself" theory.
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:17 PM   #69
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I want to go back and read what I have missed in the conversation, but what I would like to do right now is offer a link to any who are interested in reading about new research on genetic factors.

A few years ago while I was studying medical transcription, genetic links to depression were a personal interest of mine because so many of us are symptomatic in the family. Cardiovascluar and the lymphatic systems were also areas of interest because we suffer much death from heart disease and cancer.

My grandmother has epilepsy, and she is the queen of mean. For a long time, she was just queen of mean because I had no idea she had epilepsy. It was this (yet another) dark family secret which was kicked out of the closet when she had a grandmal seizure. I was fourteen and alone when it occured. I recognized the event as a seizure and called an ambulance. The dispatcher on the other end of the line was annoying, but I knew the dude was only trying to keep me calm. I was upset, but I was still rational.

She is on medication, but she exercises choice on when and if she takes it on time. I get why she has a love and hate relationship with not only the meds but also reminders given to her. She is an intelligent lady who lived in a culture... yeah, we all know that drill.

I've only recently begun to understand the scientific link with behavior which seems inappropriate and irrational. This is due to self reflection, education, and conscious effort at relization. I write this not to project onto others.

One thing I want to do with my life is exercise my choice in my own behavior, probably in spite of my depression, and not take it out on everyone else. Tis my goal to become a new and enlightened genesis: humanity.
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:24 PM   #70
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I can understand about the meds. The ones I'm taking aren't the right ones but so far they've been the best. I'm less willing to talk and do things with others than I've ever been though. Most of you here probably don't even really remember me. I can't remember the last time I actively participated here or even elsewhere. I don't know that the meds are the reason I don't care to do much now. I know they contribute to it though. I wonder at what point it really becomes mental illness. We know so little about the mind. Meh. I'm just rambling on. I'm just glad that there is this discussion going on. It may inspire me to lurk some more.
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:26 PM   #71
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I do think if you are like my mother who won't let anything or anyone help her and acts out a lot doctors just give up on you and/or threaten you occasionally to try to knock some sense in you.

It isn't uncommon for doctors to limit (or simply refuse to take) certain types of mental illness - most often it's Borderline Personality Disorder, because it's such an exhausting, difficult, frustrating illness.

(Says the daughter of an unmedicated, Bi-polar I, BPD parent who has been dropped by more therapists than she can count.)
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:50 PM   #72
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The young woman who did it HAD been on meds, but reportedly she hated the way they made her feel.
They siphoned the care out of me.

Not good.

Not good, at all.

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Old 06-18-2012, 12:58 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by Licia View Post
They siphoned the care out of me.

Not good.

Not good, at all.

Jeremy

I am the spawn of Generation X.

We're a bit older and wiser, but we are still around.
HUGS! To you and, really, to everyone in this thread!
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Old 06-18-2012, 02:17 PM   #74
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Or maybe they're just ALL morons. People tell me, all the time, that I should become a shrink cause I'm a good listener. I won't do it, cause as far as I can tell becoming a psychologist makes you stupid, insensitive, and incapable of helping anyone.

But then, maybe it's cause a lot of psychologist get into psychology because of their own issues, and aren't actually qualified to help anyone.
You may be right, grace.

Many scientific minded people get into their profession for the dual purpose of answering their own questions and offering assitance to their fellow human being.

I think we can all agree through collective experience that a lot of doctors come off as cold and clinical, but I would say most of that is a byproduct of how the doctor's brain functions. They sorta cannot help the fact that they are social morons, and it is why they are required to learn bed side manner and ethics. I also think this is why nurses, assistants, transcriptionist etc are integral. No one person is capable of handling the work it takes to heal just one person.

History has already shown us the insanity and brutality of a doctor who is divorced from compassion: a monstrous danger to society.

Einstien was a genius not because of his mental organ. He was a genius because he was still able to relate to the people around him.
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Old 06-18-2012, 02:24 PM   #75
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sdineen is offline
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Location: nj
Posts: 1,111
;l

Quite correct. The businesslike, harsh approach, has turned me off to many helpers. Any form of humanity has been rejected as overprotective.
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