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Old 02-13-2017, 09:32 PM   #101
SunlitAsrai18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chubbylilsubby View Post
You are very luck! I've been wanting to find a Dom like this for so long. I have had four in the last 20 years, none very considerate or really understanding and I now question if I am a sub anymore because of it. I am tired of being treated like a nonentity. I take care of others and have my whole life, but in a relationship I am treated like a human piece of garbage and I understand I brought that on myself. But if I'm not a sub, I no longer know what the hell I am. I love having that strong man lead me and own me, but it always seems to come at a price. With disrespect and little regard for my feelings or safety. I have never felt this uncertain about anything in my life. I'm tired of men sending me the most disrespectful and truly disgusting messages on here too. I feel I am having an identity crisis! lol
I feel like I wrote this. Lol.
I don't understand these PMs that go straight into Little girl and are bizarre to the point of being funny. I keep wondering that if this makes me feel like punching them in the nose, am I even truly submissive? I am confused as well and I just wish I had found the right Dom for me.
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Old 02-17-2017, 10:32 PM   #102
tairaruth
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Originally Posted by aluzion View Post
What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.
Cheesy!

However, being new to this...or not even new, just looking heh (yeah, chicken, right?), I'd like to thank all who responded to the cheesy questions above. Personally, I've been wrestling with this over and over for a while now .. ever since this one dude asked me the weirdest question a couple of months or so ago: 'what do I like?'. Don't know about for anyone else, but for me that question was an absolute mind-fuck. A dude who wanted to know what -I- liked? Was he for real? I mean, I'm not a spring chicken here and after a good 1/2 century of being on the planet, no one has -ever- asked me that question before. Especially regarding sex.

So, this begged the question .. do I be honest with him? Or .. should I just give him the stock 'block' response that keeps me nice and safe in my not-so-perfect-perfect-life? I could tell him what I -don't- like. That ones easy. I don't like dudes who can't take responsibility for themselves, who need someone around to blame for their mess-ups, who say one thing and do something completely different. I don't like dudes who are strung out on dope, unreliable, uncouth, undisciplined. But .. to admit even to myself what I like let alone tell someone else... now that's a challenge and a half.

So, for now, I'm looking and asking questions, and discussing and self-examining because really, I'm thinking that's what it all comes down to, isn't it? The self. Responsibility for the self, honesty with the self, acknowledgement for the self and finally acceptance and accountability .. for the self by two individuals who form a partnership based upon their -own- interwoven desires. At least, that's what I'm thinking. And perhaps the whys don't matter so much, as in many things when it comes to psychology and life. What matters is the 'is' far, far more than the why.

Kind of like admitting you like the colour red when everyone around you likes yellow and green and blue and, well, liking the colour red just means you might be that little bit strange. And admitting this .. oh my .. better hide .. how can -anyone- like the colour red? Perhaps they like the colour red because it reminds them of roses, or they can trace it back to that time when they were seven and someone didn't buy them the red dress, or some amazing shit like that. Perhaps it's because the nurse dropped them on their head when they were tiny, or the doctor who delivered them had red hair, or their parents had red wine on the day of their conception.

Who knows.

Anyways .. I said I'd like to thank those who replied because I gained a wee bit of insight even though it wasn't me who asked the questions or begged the responses. Was good hearing from y'all.
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Old 03-04-2017, 10:14 AM   #103
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Talking Nicely put

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Originally Posted by gracie920101 View Post
Submission only in the bedroom is where we are in right now although it's appears to be taking over more aspects of our life lately.
In my vanilla life I'm in control, expect my requests and directions to be followed and my office looks more than a little OCD organized. When I get home, I shed that persona as much as possible as I'm ready to have someone else have to deal with stuff. All it takes is a tone of voice or that look and I'm headed into the bedroom to settle into my wait position.
It's a struggle at times when my logic tries to overrule my heart and can definitely make for some interesting discipline in order for me to yield control. And boy can my mouth get me into trouble before I yield! But the feeling when I do....oh my! The feeling that I have pleased him makes my heart smile.
The best way I can describe it is after pleasing him, I feel like I actually glow from having all those mushy feelings that I can't allow myself during my day. It's a feeling that I crave over and over again.
And rereading that last sentence screams "addict" to me so...do it again! Please, sir?

Couldn't figure out how to do a standing ovation for this but will definitely show your comment to my sub!
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Old 03-08-2017, 07:14 AM   #104
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For me, submissive means knowing how to satisfy my lady; all her desires, all her wants, all her needs, in and out of the bedroom. It does not mean inaction, it means action. It means taking care of her.
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Old 03-12-2017, 03:57 PM   #105
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Why do I like being submissive?

Because I feel like a bumblebee or some other flying creature, out of control, a wild thing, wings madly flapping, and I can't make it stop on my own.

I need someone to catch me and hold me safely.
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Old 03-12-2017, 04:54 PM   #106
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chubbylilsubby View Post
You are very lucky! I've been wanting to find a Dom like this for so long. I have had four in the last 20 years, none very considerate or really understanding and I now question if I am a sub anymore because of it. I am tired of being treated like a nonentity. I take care of others and have my whole life, but in a relationship I am treated like a human piece of garbage and I understand I brought that on myself. But if I'm not a sub, I no longer know what the hell I am. I love having that strong man lead me and own me, but it always seems to come at a price. With disrespect and little regard for my feelings or safety. I have never felt this uncertain about anything in my life. I'm tired of men sending me the most disrespectful and truly disgusting messages on here too. I feel I am having an identity crisis! lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunlitAsrai18 View Post
I feel like I wrote this. Lol.
I don't understand these PMs that go straight into Little girl and are bizarre to the point of being funny. I keep wondering that if this makes me feel like punching them in the nose, am I even truly submissive? I am confused as well and I just wish I had found the right Dom for me.

It seems you both are questioning your submissive nature or being rather than your choice of partners. Being submissive is a far cry from being someone's door mat or piece of trash. You both need to do some self examination and see what it is in yourself that makes you doubt yourself. Look to some of the very strong, very literate, very knowing of themselves subs that post here. Follow their lead.

Never allow someone to devalue you in any way. However, if you place little value on yourself, you are setting yourself up for that very thing to occur. Be strong, be proud, and be yourselves. Don't settle. Never settle. If you value yourself, others will value you.

Nowhere in BDSM or a D/s relationship does it say, the sub is of less value. Find some positive role models, mentors, teachers...get whatever help and assistance you need to ensure that you're never treated as less again.

Always remember... BDSM and abuse are TWO totally different things. Don't accept or pretend one is the other.

Be well and be strong. Best of success to you.
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Old 03-13-2017, 08:36 AM   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aluzion View Post
What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.
I'm a switch and what I like about being submissive is the mix of fear and trust. If a dom ties me up there's that fear and uncertainty of not knowing what she's going to do. Add a blind fold and I can't even see it coming. I have to trust my partner to respect my boundries and safe word (and i would never be put in either let alone both situations without it) and there's something deeply beautiful about that trust.
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Old 03-13-2017, 11:11 PM   #108
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gracie920101 View Post
Submission only in the bedroom is where we are in right now although it's appears to be taking over more aspects of our life lately.
In my vanilla life I'm in control, expect my requests and directions to be followed and my office looks more than a little OCD organized. When I get home, I shed that persona as much as possible as I'm ready to have someone else have to deal with stuff. All it takes is a tone of voice or that look and I'm headed into the bedroom to settle into my wait position.
It's a struggle at times when my logic tries to overrule my heart and can definitely make for some interesting discipline in order for me to yield control. And boy can my mouth get me into trouble before I yield! But the feeling when I do....oh my! The feeling that I have pleased him makes my heart smile.
The best way I can describe it is after pleasing him, I feel like I actually glow from having all those mushy feelings that I can't allow myself during my day. It's a feeling that I crave over and over again.
And rereading that last sentence screams "addict" to me so...do it again! Please, sir?
my ex master calls what I'd get when serving him my "slutty glow". i would have crawled and kissed his feet if he said to. it clicks for me, and it feels right, serving and pleasing my man makes me happy, at peace, and wet. i love to serve.
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Old 03-13-2017, 11:19 PM   #109
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I love your response LearningSlut. It's clear you would be a wonderful submissive. I'd love to visit with you sometime.
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Old 03-13-2017, 11:30 PM   #110
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Originally Posted by whistling_toad View Post
I love your response LearningSlut. It's clear you would be a wonderful submissive. I'd love to visit with you sometime.
thank You Sir, I'd like that
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Old 03-13-2017, 11:35 PM   #111
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I'd love to send a message, but your private messages are turned off. Is there a way to reach you?
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Old 03-13-2017, 11:49 PM   #112
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i sent You an im on Yahoo Sir
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Old 03-31-2017, 05:24 PM   #113
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Originally Posted by cascadiabound View Post
Why do I "like" being submissive?

It IS who I am. I am at my best when I do not fight it.

If the question is why do I "like" being submissive... I must answer that I like it because it is the truest expression of myself.

And when I am honestly exploring and living that... I am at my happiest.
This is beautifully expressed and exactly how it feels to me as well. It is just who I am and it makes me blissfully happy on every level.

I don't just like it. I am not me without it.
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Old 03-31-2017, 05:51 PM   #114
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild_Honey_66 View Post
Why do I like being submissive?

Because I feel like a bumblebee or some other flying creature, out of control, a wild thing, wings madly flapping, and I can't make it stop on my own.

I need someone to catch me and hold me safely.
This.
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Old 04-03-2017, 09:37 AM   #115
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Originally Posted by babslovesherdaddy View Post
When I am being dominated, I feel wanted, loved, and cared for. I love to submit because it makes me free. It relieves me of the responisibility that I have in other areas of my life. It is liberating.

And being humiliated is just the icing on the cake.
I so feel the same way that you do.
Thanks for sharing this.
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Old 04-04-2017, 12:30 AM   #116
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I'm a naturally timid and docile person, so following orders comes naturally to me. I also take joy in pleasing other people. Seeing a smile on the face of someone I care about makes me feel happy and fulfilled, and the same carries over to sex.

Now, the kinkier stuff that I'm into... Maybe it has something to do with watching and reading too much Japanese animated porn, but that could be sort of a chicken or the egg situation as well. I don't know where most of it comes from, if it comes from anywhere.
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Old 04-04-2017, 11:16 AM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babslovesherdaddy View Post
When I am being dominated, I feel wanted, loved, and cared for. I love to submit because it makes me free. It relieves me of the responisibility that I have in other areas of my life. It is liberating.

And being humiliated is just the icing on the cake
.

This ...
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Old 04-05-2017, 09:47 AM   #118
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Originally Posted by littleflower13 View Post
I'm a naturally timid and docile person, so following orders comes naturally to me. I also take joy in pleasing other people. Seeing a smile on the face of someone I care about makes me feel happy and fulfilled, and the same carries over to sex.

Now, the kinkier stuff that I'm into... Maybe it has something to do with watching and reading too much Japanese animated porn, but that could be sort of a chicken or the egg situation as well. I don't know where most of it comes from, if it comes from anywhere.
Wow. You sound like such an interesting person. 😎
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Old 04-05-2017, 11:55 AM   #119
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Its so fun....

to be the bottom. Let him decide everything, at least in the bedroom. Let him get hard and perform. Let him select the positons. After a lifetime of being a macho dude, I take great delight in being the total femme bottom, obedient to the Nth degree. Cock worship doesnt begin to explain it....

In the outside world, two fun guys, well educated and travelled, curious, tolerant, and friendly....
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Old 04-14-2017, 03:47 AM   #120
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I'm glad everyone has been posting to this thread, been excited to read your thoughts!
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Old 04-16-2017, 11:06 AM   #121
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Presently, I'm not fond of my submissive tendencies. I see them as weaknesses because I'm not "supposed' to need anyone. The notion that I *do* disturbs me. I fight it...A lot.

I hate being vulnerable to someone else. I crave it, but I shun it because of the connotations and...... Well, I've kissed a lot of frogs, it seems.

You get to a point where.." Nope, not gonna even try to again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. "

It took more than twice...But, you get the picture..Lol.

I'd "like" to believe again, really..But it will take an extraordinary human being an act of God to earn my submission again.
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Old 04-16-2017, 11:08 AM   #122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubenesqueAphrodite View Post
Presently, I'm not fond of my submissive tendencies. I see them as weaknesses because I'm not "supposed' to need anyone. The notion that I *do* disturbs me. I fight it...A lot.

I hate being vulnerable to someone else. I crave it, but I shun it because of the connotations and...... Well, I've kissed a lot of frogs, it seems.

You get to a point where.." Nope, not gonna even try to again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. "

It took more than twice...But, you get the picture..Lol.

I'd "like" to believe again, really..But it will take an extraordinary human being an act of God to earn my submission again.
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Old 04-16-2017, 11:16 AM   #123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubenesqueAphrodite View Post
Presently, I'm not fond of my submissive tendencies. I see them as weaknesses because I'm not "supposed' to need anyone. The notion that I *do* disturbs me. I fight it...A lot.

I hate being vulnerable to someone else. I crave it, but I shun it because of the connotations and...... Well, I've kissed a lot of frogs, it seems.

You get to a point where.." Nope, not gonna even try to again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. "

It took more than twice...But, you get the picture..Lol.

I'd "like" to believe again, really..But it will take an extraordinary human being an act of God to earn my submission again.
Love the new AV.

YES. So much of this was me. After being hurt, why open up again?
And if I do open up, why the fuck should I be submissive when I worked so hard to be me. To be whole. To be strong.

I've realized through being with that "extraordinary person" you talk about (they do exist!) that I don't have to give up one ounce of me, of my strength, to submit, even when I am giving him all of me and I'm his, I'm also still my own. If that makes sense. He helped cultivate my wholeness so I can break down in his arms and not lose myself.
He makes me want to open my heart and be this with him, because he will never hurt me. He cherishes my core strength even as my ass is getting spanked or I'm his slut. I trust him. I want to give myself to him. He made me this way.
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Old 04-16-2017, 02:34 PM   #124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FantasySlut View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Farawyn View Post
Love the new AV.

YES. So much of this was me. After being hurt, why open up again?
And if I do open up, why the fuck should I be submissive when I worked so hard to be me. To be whole. To be strong.

I've realized through being with that "extraordinary person" you talk about (they do exist!) that I don't have to give up one ounce of me, of my strength, to submit, even when I am giving him all of me and I'm his, I'm also still my own. If that makes sense. He helped cultivate my wholeness so I can break down in his arms and not lose myself.
He makes me want to open my heart and be this with him, because he will never hurt me. He cherishes my core strength even as my ass is getting spanked or I'm his slut. I trust him. I want to give myself to him. He made me this way.
I know, Darlin'..I know.
Extremely happy for you two

The man who ruined me, took me, changed me, helped Me believe in myself...It was wonderful.

And then he began withdrawing. Slowly at first.. Then for longer periods of time.

Then nothing..For weeks..Then a few months went by..

I thought he was dead.. That was a better alternative than the reality.

But..Noooooo...

Out of the fucking BLUE I get a message asking me how I've been.

Just fucking peachy....

I honestly feel like I was some sort of project for him. A ball of clay that he could take and mold into whatever he liked, and I complied. I was pliant, obedient, trusting, and for a little while at least I felt loved and cherished.

It was a really good feeling.

You don't just offer that up to someone, then take it away when you think you're finished....

So, my advice, for what it's worth, just be careful. Do not believe anyone any farther than you can throw them. Lol.

Be stingy as Hell with you're submission. Both ladies and gents. And, if I'm anything​ in way of an example... Don't be afraid to tell someone to fuck off..

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Bad angel, let me be
I'm standing at the cross roads
Of Temptation and Salvation Street...

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Old 05-24-2017, 10:35 PM   #125
cliteatingman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeena13 View Post
I'm not sure why I enjoy being submissive either. Maybe because in other aspects of my life I'm very much a go getter, work, take care of the family etc... but in the bedroom I really just want to give up control even if for a little bit. I don't know why it gives me the tingles so to speak. Maybe it's just knowing that someone is taking care of me for once?
That makes sense!
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I LOVE thee not for sacred chastity.
Who loves for that? nor for thy sprightly wit:
I love thee not for thy sweet modesty,
Which makes thee in perfection's throne to sit.
I love thee not for thy enchanting eye,
Thy beauty, ravishing perfection:
I love thee not for that my soul doth dance,
And leap with pleasure when those lips of thine,
Give musical and graceful utterance,
To some (by thee made happy) poet's line.
I love thee not for voice or slender small,
But wilt thou know wherefore? Fair sweet, for all...

'Faith, wench! I cannot court thy sprightly eyes,
With the base viol placed between my thighs:
I cannot lisp, nor to some fiddle sing,
Nor run upon a high stretching minikin...
Not I, by cock! but I shall tell thee roundly,
Hark in thine ear, zounds I can **** thee soundly.

Christopher Marlowe
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