Looking for an editor: BDSM, Chastity, Tease, Denial, Dom Female Sub Male

Sorry for the long title but I wanted to get straight to the point to avoid wasting your valuable time.

I've written a couple of stories before:
https://www.literotica.com/s/back-so-soon [STRAIGHT, SHORT]
https://www.literotica.com/s/progression-ch-01-finally [GAY, LONG]

As you can probably tell I'm quite new to writing. I've never had an editor for my past two stories but I have written a new story that I would love to get some advice from the editors on here.

The basic plot of the story is a women in her mid twenties is getting ready for bed, when a male in his mid twenties breaks into her house. In self defense she hits him over the head with a baseball bat knocking him unconscious. As she is in the BDSM scene, her basement has been turned into a dungeon where she decides to hold him until the police arrive. As the story unfolds the women ends up training the burglar to be her submissive sex toy.

The themes will definitely not be to everyones taste, therefore I don't want to offend anyone who would be uncomfortable with the following topics:
- BDSM
- Dominant Female
- Submissive Male
- Non-consent (although he is eventually given the choice to leave but decides to stay)
- Male anal
- Foot/Body/Oral/etc worship
- Chastity/Tease/Denial etc

No expectations or demands from my end. I'm simply happy for the help if anyone can spare some time. It's currently 13 pages long, but even if someone could spare some time to review the first few pages it'd be such a huge help.

I believe I'm allowed to post a few paragraphs so I've posted the first three here.

klapperz said:

Chloe sat with her legs up on the sofa watching the television. She was comfortable, wearing a loose pair of jogging bottoms and a baggy t-shirt. It was almost midnight by the time the film ended. She stood up and stretched, gently pressing her boobs together, then yawned as she made her way upstairs to the bathroom.

She untied her long black hair and removed her t-shirt. She was wearing no bra, but her boobs were firm, slightly more than a handful. She pulled off her jogging bottoms and underwear, revealing her smooth, fully shaven pussy. Naked, she opened the bathroom door and stepped inside before turning the water on.

As the cold water started, her nipples perked up. She ran her hands over them while she waited for the warmth. She then took the shower head off the wall and sat with her legs crossed on the floor. Holding the shower near her pussy, she aimed it at her clit and hole. After a few minutes, she was almost ready to cum and started to use her fingers to massage her clit.

Click to expand...

If you would be willing to spend any of your valuable time to help me I would of course (with your approval) love to thank you publicly in the story when published (both on Literotica and anywhere else). I'm also happy for any other types of compensation that falls inline with Literotica's rules.

I can also provide the story in any format you want. Currently it's just in Google Docs, but name the format and I'll make it happen.

Also I have checked the story for basic spelling and grammar errors (using grammarly and my own proof reading). But no system is foolproof so I'm sure some mistakes will get through. Mostly it would be great to know what mistakes I've made as a new writer, anything that is confusing or annoying habits I have.

Thanks for reading this long post and sorry if this doesn't suite your interests.