███████████ Mueller Investigation Results Thread ███████████

Jesus Christ.

A Certificate of Live Birth may qualify as a birth certificate (No. 4 on List C of the Lists of Acceptable Documents) if it is an original or a certified copy that is issued by a state, county, municipal authority, or outlying possession of the United States and bears an official seal. Versions of birth certificates can vary greatly based on the issuing authority and year of birth.

https://www.uscis.gov/i-9-central/i...ificate-live-birth-acceptable-list-c-document

Watching retard birthers trying to justify being retard birthers is always hilarious.

HisArpy said:

There are so many things in this statement which are incorrect I cannot even begin to respond to them except to say:

Please look at the requirement for "Real ID" to see if your D.L is "Proof" of US citizenship.

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Dude... I looked it up to see what you were on about and I think you must just not have gotten an ID in the last forever, because apparently they didn't USED to be, but I'm not ancient, so yeah, my driver's license is proof of citizenship, and an ID, and a passport. Because I'm an adult. Adults are not expected to carry around their birth certificates. Because that's fucking crazy.

Take your license out of your wallet. Now flip it around and look at the back of it. Do you see that black strip? When the cop scans that, he sees EVERY goddamn thing. He sees all the crimes you've committed, where you rest your little head at night, what your fucking fingerprints look like, and yes- GASP your citizenship status.

The only way you would not know that is if you had been in a coma since before I could drive, woke up a few days ago, and haven't gotten your license renewed yet. This Big Brother surveillance state world is all I know, and call me crazy, but I like that my wiretap can turn on the TV and my government-ID chip means I don't have to carry a bunch of shit around. Welcome to the future, I guess. Everyone else already lives here.

Let this go. You're just wrong about a thing.

Kirkrapine said:

That is no safe bet. Trump has been playing fast and loose with the law for decades -- he must be guilty of a great many offenses indictable if not (because they predate his tenure in office) impeachable, and he won't be in the WH forever. And his family is complicit.

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Here's what's wrong with your analysis, your superstition bolded above.

CandiCame said:

Dude... the Certificate of Live Birth is the one they give you at the hospital that you have to fill out because if you don't they'll get mad at you. It absolutely is proof that you were born. The dad HAS to sign it, they make a whole big thing about it. I know I can't remember a hat, but I can pull that certificate out and look at it. They gave me, specifically, a copy (they were REAL into the DAD, not the MOM being the one to do/get this shit. They were kinda mean about it. Not like mean mean, but like... intense. Like, you would be considered a dick among the dad community for the rest of your life if you weren't the one to fill this out and shit.) It's in the baby book. Once you sign that, apparently you're officially a dad. I don't know what else it does but they pound that shit into your head. You sign that, you are Dad now. You'll get overpowering urges to make shitty jokes, you'll build a deck, you'll have an urge to wear khaki that you will fight until your dying day because you know goddamn well you look awful in it.

I don't know if you can use it to get an ID or whatever, but I know for a fact it's an official document and if you sign it you'll sure as fuck have to pay child support if it ever comes up. Like if you sign that, you don't have to be married to be "assumed" the dad, but if someone (like a jackass caseworker) wants to dispute it, they can and then you'll have to take a DNA test, but my understanding is that it makes you the "legal" dad like being married to the mom does. Point is, it can and will be used in family court, so it has to be an official document. My experience is in that regard.

I can't actually remember the last time I ever looked at my own birth certificate. Because I got a driver's license like an adult, and a social security card, and those two things are considered proof of my citizenship by everyone except the batshit insane. If you've got an ID and a SS#, you'll never really need that birth certificate again.

At least, I haven't.

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None of the items I've bolded above are either by themselves or collectively proof of citizenship.

Rightguide said:

None of the items I've bolded above are either by themselves or collectively proof of citizenship.

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Click the link in the post I made right above yours to see how wrong you are. It'll be fun. You'll learn a new thing.

Why even bother with these birther idiots?

CandiCame said:

Click the link in the post I made right above yours to see how wrong you are. It'll be fun. You'll learn a new thing.

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An enhanced drivers license is not what 95% of Americans have in their pockets. When they do they will have proof of citizenship because in order to get one you have to present a standard certificate of birth with a state embossed seal affixed, and that attests to the birth place of your parents. If you are a female and married you also must have the above plus a marriage license to prove why your name was changed.

KeithD said:

Why even bother with these birther idiots?

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Last term's birthers are this term's #MAGA fuckfaces.

They always hold out on that one little edge of rhetorical cognitive dissonance because they can never say an affirmative "yes" or "no" to do you believe President Barack Obama is an American citizen?

We had to suffer through that racist othering bullshit for over three years. They got plenty of middle fingers to eat if they're hungry for more.

Q: How do you know if deplorables are scared of what Mueller is going to do?

A: When they try to turn a Mueller thread into an Obama birther thread.

*sage nod*

HisArpy said:

There are so many things in this statement which are incorrect I cannot even begin to respond to them except to say:

Please look at the requirement for "Real ID" to see if your D.L is "Proof" of US citizenship.

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Lol... you are in league with botanydummy on your insistence to spread thick the evidence of your vast stupidity.


Changing the words around and/or having the last word doesn't make either of you fools correct.


Jeezus.

RoryN said:

Q: How do you know if deplorables are scared of what Mueller is going to do?

A: When they try to turn a Mueller thread into an Obama birther thread.

*sage nod*

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HisArpy said:

I actually have a certified copy of my "Certificate of Birth Registration". Guess what - it's STILL not "official" proof sufficient to prove I was born where it says I was.

You can go around and around and around on this with all kinds of made-up examples and personal reasons, but I KNOW FOR A FACT that what you're saying, ain't so.

You can either accept that or not. But, based on my own experiences, what Obama provided isn't "proof" he was born when/where he says. It may have been accepted as sufficient, but it's still not "proof". The 2 things aren't synonymous even if you want them to be.

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According to the state (both where I was born and where I reside), it damn sure is. I used to have a photocopy of mine just like the picture below:



The only difference was that mine had been notarized by my mother (she was a notary at the time). Now I'm not sure if that made any difference to the validity of the document but that is neither here nor there.

Point being, with that document I was able to:

Attend public school
Get a social security card
Get a passport
Get a drivers license
Get into state university
Get into the military
Get various travel visas
Get a pilots license
Get a CDL
Get a CCW
Obtain an FFL

All of this prior to the Real ID Act of 2005. Since that act I've had to order a state issued certificate from AZ Dept of Records. The ONLY difference from the one I had and the one I recently received is the new one is the exact same thing as before and looks exactly like the one pictured above EXCEPT its printed on a paper issued by the state (state seal watermark and a foil medallion embossed with the registrars seal).

Sorry, I don't buy your premise. That document shown above has been accepted as proof by EVERY government agency I have ever dealt with in the last fifty years.

RoryN said:

Q: How do you know if deplorables are scared of what Mueller is going to do?

A: When they try to turn a Mueller thread into an Obama birther thread.

*sage nod*

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Applause.

Rightguide said:

An enhanced drivers license is not what 95% of Americans have in their pockets. When they do they will have proof of citizenship because in order to get one you have to present a standard certificate of birth with a state embossed seal affixed, and that attests to the birth place of your parents. If you are a female and married you also must have the above plus a marriage license to prove why your name was changed.

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No, you don't. Everything in this post is bullshit you made up. You probably already have one because most states either already use them, or will be using them exclusively in the next couple of years.

You know how I got mine? I walked in, said, "I want to renew my driver's license."

The older lady bitched about how fucking hot it was in the court house, and she was correct to do so. Then she told me to go take a picture, and said I was a good looking young man, which she was also right to do. Then she started in on small talk, as old people are want to do, and I didn't know how to get out of the conversation, but I was dying to, because it was hot as fuck in there, but I had to sit there and listen to her, because she was old, and I kept hinting that I wanted to leave, and then she told me to give her the $50 or whatever. As I was paying her, she said, "By the way this works as a passport now."

And I was like, "That's nice. I don't really travel though."

Then she gave me my new license and I left.

That's it. That's the whole experience. You absolutely don't need a goddamn thing, and I suspect you knew that, you lying liar.

Edit: Also just the absolute fucking sexism where you assume that you need a REASON for a name change, and that women and ONLY women change their name for marriage. What a fuckwad.

Just... honestly.

Jesus.

RoryN said:

Q: How do you know if deplorables are scared of what Mueller is going to do?

A: When they try to turn a Mueller thread into an Obama birther thread.

*sage nod*

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It's just aggravating watching then act like they don't know what a birth certificate or driver's license are when we ALL KNOW THEY FUCKING DO. WHY ARE THEY LYING ABOUT BASIC SHIT LIKE WE DON'T ALL KNOW IT'S A LIE!?

We've all had birth certificates. We've all had IDs. We all know what this shit is. Why keep up the ruse that just makes them look like dumbasses? Why are they being stupid on purpose? It's aggravating.

Rightguide said:

None of the items I've bolded above are either by themselves or collectively proof of citizenship.

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Shaddup, vettebirther.

Rightguide said:

Here's what's wrong with your analysis, your superstition bolded above.

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No one will be more surprised than you if he turns out to be innocent.

CandiCame said:

No, you don't. Everything in this post is bullshit you made up. You probably already have one because most states either already use them, or will be using them exclusively in the next couple of years.

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When I renewed my drivers license the last time they weren't available when I renew in 2020 I will apply for one, but nothing I posted is incorrect. When you mentioned a driver's license proving citizenship you didn't mention it was an enhanced drivers license. A regular license is not proof of citizenship, nor is a SS number, or a certificate of live birth. Try proving citizenship with those documents in applying for a high security clearance or a passport, it isn't enough. For a passport or security clearance that's going to be investigated by the Department of Personnel Security and Suitability you'll need a "certified" (having an embossed registrar's seal) copy of your long form birth certificate with the information I outlined previously. Do not doubt me.

Rightguide said:

When I renewed my drivers license the last time they weren't available when I renew in 2020 I will apply for one, but nothing I posted is incorrect. When you mentioned a driver's license proving citizenship you didn't mention it was an enhanced drivers license. A regular license is not proof of citizenship, nor is a SS number, or a certificate of live birth. Try proving citizenship with those documents in applying for a high security clearance or a passport, it isn't enough. For a passport or security clearance that's going to be investigated by the Department of Personnel Security and Suitability you'll need a "certified" (having an embossed registrar's seal) copy of your long form birth certificate with the information I outlined previously. Do not doubt me.

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You don't know any of that to be true. It's like the old saying, "You ain't gotta lie to kick it." Just fucking stop with your demonstrably false bullshit.
Candi smoked your ignorant ass and the best you could do is deflect and lie some more.

Rightguide said:

When I renewed my drivers license the last time they weren't available when I renew in 2020 I will apply for one, but nothing I posted is incorrect. When you mentioned a driver's license proving citizenship you didn't mention it was an enhanced drivers license. A regular license is not proof of citizenship, nor is a SS number, or a certificate of live birth. Try proving citizenship with those documents in applying for a high security clearance or a passport, it isn't enough. For a passport or security clearance that's going to be investigated by the Department of Personnel Security and Suitability you'll need a "certified" (having an embossed registrar's seal) copy of your long form birth certificate with the information I outlined previously. Do not doubt me.

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I mean... you're just wrong about this. Like, that's really all this is.

Edit: Also, I didn't mention a "regular" driver's license because no one I know has one. They've not been a thing since I have been able to drive. I've had that strip with all my information on it, I've had the little hologram of my face, I've had all those features (expect the passport, that's new, but it's always been linked to my citizenship and whatnot, the passport thing is new to Ky, I had a conversation about it with the lady, as I mentioned before. I think it's a money scheme because it's $20 extra and you can't opt out of it) since I've been in the world.

You probably already have this kind of license. Seriously, go get your wallet. Take out your license, flip it over and look at the back. If there's a black strip across the top, that's the thing that lets the cops or whoever scan it and confirm your citizenship. Go look at your wallet. I'll be super shocked if you have a "regular" license because I don't know where the fuck you would get it. I didn't know it was an option until this thread, because as long as I've been alive, it's not been an option. I'm not special. I'm not 5% of anything. I'm in the 95% of people. The vast majority of people have the kind of license I have. You don't have to do anything special, you get it as a teenager (flipped sideways so that they can tell at a glance that you're too little to drink) and then you go get it renewed with ZERO paperwork.

They ask a couple of questions, like if you've moved, they take a new picture that is gonna look like shit regardless of how hot you are, they ask you for money, then they give it to you. That's the whole process.

AND YOU KNOW THAT. YOU AREN'T FOOLING ANYONE.

Why the fuck do you think the cop scans it when you get stopped? They're checking the database to see if you've got any warrants out or anything- part of that would be your citizenship status. That's why ICE people ask for driver's licenses.

Luk said:

You don't know any of that to be true. It's like the old saying, "You ain't gotta lie to kick it." Just fucking stop with your demonstrably false bullshit.
Candi smoked your ignorant ass and the best you could do is deflect and lie some more.

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Maybe they actually do make him bring all that shit because the particular people at his DMV fucking hate him and know that he'll believe them instead of pushing it.

Because, honestly, I can see that.

Me: Hi, I'm here to renew my driver's license.
Worker: Here you go, sir, you're a nice young man, always good to see you. How's your mom & them?
Signpost: I'm here to renew my driver's license
Worker: Ok, fill out all these forms in triplicate, go downstairs and get a copy of your birth certificate, go to the third floor and get a copy of your marriage license, and bring me another form of photo ID, because I fucking hate you. I don't need any of that, but I really, really want to eat up your whole fucking day.

RoryN said:

I can tell you're scared.

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Why don't you do threads featuring women with really nice tits? I enjoy these weekly "the end is near" threads about Trump because everyone deserves a chuckle over the serious reaching people are doing here, but Internet tits are a seriously untapped resource when you think of how many attractive women have bared themselves and how many of those pictures have not appeared on Lit.
Contribute something worthwhile, RoryN, other than an occasional self-imposed 12-month exile.

OldJourno said:

Why don't you do threads featuring women with really nice tits? I enjoy these weekly "the end is near" threads about Trump because everyone deserves a chuckle over the serious reaching people are doing here, but Internet tits are a seriously untapped resource when you think of how many attractive women have bared themselves and how many of those pictures have not appeared on Lit.
Contribute something worthwhile, RoryN, other than an occasional self-imposed 12-month exile.

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Well this is it then. In a week, 10 days at the most, Rory will be posting women with really nice tits before everyone here, expanding the levels of erotica as the conservatives everywhere continue droning on about politics. The Mueller investigation will further frustrate them, proving anything concerning Cheeto will make them triggered with real ecstatic fits and running to suburban hotels with access to popular television series.
Boobs will have prevailed. Literotica will return to normalcy.






hyuk!

RoryN said:

Q: How do you know if deplorables are scared of what Mueller is going to do?

A: When they try to turn a Mueller thread into an Obama birther thread.

*sage nod*

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I hope you're aware that, in this thread, it was Cow shitter who first used the term "birther." It was in Post 25.