8letters
Writing
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
- Posts
- 2,108
These are for a story you can read here.
The story behind the story
One day, the image came to me of a woman being fucked from behind. Then she said that it was okay for him to fuck her because he was fucking her from behind. From that little kernel, the whole story idea flowed out. Fucking her from behind would be culmination of many activities where he was behind her. At first, those activities would be fairly innocent but they would get steadily more sexual until one day he penetrated her from behind. Ironically, the first fuck in the story doesn’t happen at all like I had originally envisioned it.
So the next task was coming up with why are the sister and brother in bed together with her facing away from him. I’m not sure where the idea came from of having the girl be coming out of an abusive relationship. I think for a romantic incest story to work, each of the characters have to be isolated. I had read enough to know abusers to do their best to isolate their partners. So the idea of a young woman coming out of an abusive having only her brother to turn to worked for me.
An abuser would tear the girl down, destroy her self-esteem. Then it came to me - give her a flat chest. In porn stories, the girl almost always has big tits. I had been scaling back on that. Small-titted girls deserve some love too. So a flat-chested heroine it was.
I had the premise. Now I need to work out how the story ramped up. I feel a story like this should start with something innocuous so the first scene is very tame - she tells him she’s broken up with her boyfriend. He comforts here by giving her a back rub. She almost falls asleep. Next night is a small step up - she tells him that her boyfriend was abusive to her and asks if she can sleep in the brother’s bed. From there, things slowly ramp up, typically in response to something Jared has done.
I like my stories to have at some point a “What would you do?” scene. What would you do if your sister’s ex-boyfriend sent you a link to lots of pictures of her having sex? Would you look at them? Would you download them? That was a fun scene for me to write.
As I was going to the bathroom to get ready to go to bed, I thought of the telemarketer scene. I had my vitamin and some water in my mouth when I started giggling about that scene so hard that I thought I was going to spit out my vitamin. Thinking about that scene cracked me up several times. I hope it comes across nearly as funny as I found it.
When it came time to come up with a description of Michelle’s looks, I tried to think of someone who was flat-chested and beautiful. Audrey Hepburn was the only person that came to mind. So I wrote the description of Michelle while looking at a picture of Audrey Hepburn.
I wrote the first version and sent it out to beta-readers. I got responses from nine people, some of it quite in-depth. With that in hand, I started re-writing the story. I made so many changes that I can’t list them all. One of the changes were the names - originally the two main characters where Sierra and Aaron. I wasn’t too wild about those names and someone complained that they were too weird. Michelle was the name of a character from a small scene. I cut the scene and gave her name to the main female character. I wanted a “typical” male name and hit upon Chris. The problem with Chris is that it is both a male and female name and I wanted it obvious from the get go that Chris was male. So I came up with the idea of his name being Christopher though only his family used his full name. Hopefully how Michelle said his name struck a chord with the reader.
I made tweaks to the first two-thirds of the story and then re-wrote most of the story from when Michelle catches Christopher looking at pictures of her to the final sex scene. In my first draft, Michelle liked the pictures as they remind her of the good times with Jared and gave Christopher permission to continue to look at them while jacking off. During the sex session while their parents are at the party, I had Christopher deciding he had to fuck Michelle and then taking her doggie-style. Once he buries himself in Michelle, I had her stop him and say she wasn’t ready to fuck. I felt it was too close to rape. And on the flip side - the first time they do something to give Christopher pleasure, Michelle stops it.
One of the problems with the re-write is that I set the story up for their first fuck to be doggie-style and then they never fuck doggie-style. I could have changed the final sex scene to being doggie-style or being her on top flowing into doggie-style. However, (1) sex scenes are hard to me to write so I wasn’t interested in writing a new one and (2) her on top flowing into doggie-style would have matched the way they fuck in “My Sister Set Me Up on a Blind Date”.
What happens next?
At the end of the story, Christopher and Michelle planned out the next couple of years. So they follow that plan and live happily together.
What do I particularly like about this story?
I like to write about current topics and this story had a lot about domestic abuse and cyberbullying. One thing I had never understood before writing this story is why a woman would ever go back to the man who abused her. After writing it, I think I can see why - while she’s away from her man, her self-esteem improves to the point that she thinks she can keep him in line the next time.
Another I liked about this story is that it featured a flat-chested girl. A girl doesn’t need big tits to be attractive. I can’t remember seeing a story on LitE that had a flat-chested girl as the female main character.
What do I think I might get grief about?
* I hope I presented a girl who had been in an abusive relationship in an realistic and sympathetic way. But I could have fallen into a stereotype without knowing it
* Great Ass and Frigid checks. I’m sure that some people will feel that it should be ‘Great Ass’ and ‘Frigid’ checks or “Great Ass” and “Frigid” checks. My editor wanted ‘Great Ass’ and ‘Frigid’ checks. I’ve researched the issue and I think no quotation marks is the correct way to go, but I’m sure that others will disagree
* I’m doubtful that Chris could have gone through the booking process with Jared, but the story worked a lot better with him hanging with Jared will Jared gets processed
* I hope that the story still comes across as a love story and not as an abuse recovery story
What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None. The details for the sex scenes flowed naturally from the story itself.
I’m looking for beta-readers
Particularly women. I think getting lots of different perspectives helped me greatly improve this story. I tried to incorporate all of the feedback I got. I’m not looking for suggestions; I’m looking for comments about what strikes the reader as wrong or weak.
The story behind the story
One day, the image came to me of a woman being fucked from behind. Then she said that it was okay for him to fuck her because he was fucking her from behind. From that little kernel, the whole story idea flowed out. Fucking her from behind would be culmination of many activities where he was behind her. At first, those activities would be fairly innocent but they would get steadily more sexual until one day he penetrated her from behind. Ironically, the first fuck in the story doesn’t happen at all like I had originally envisioned it.
So the next task was coming up with why are the sister and brother in bed together with her facing away from him. I’m not sure where the idea came from of having the girl be coming out of an abusive relationship. I think for a romantic incest story to work, each of the characters have to be isolated. I had read enough to know abusers to do their best to isolate their partners. So the idea of a young woman coming out of an abusive having only her brother to turn to worked for me.
An abuser would tear the girl down, destroy her self-esteem. Then it came to me - give her a flat chest. In porn stories, the girl almost always has big tits. I had been scaling back on that. Small-titted girls deserve some love too. So a flat-chested heroine it was.
I had the premise. Now I need to work out how the story ramped up. I feel a story like this should start with something innocuous so the first scene is very tame - she tells him she’s broken up with her boyfriend. He comforts here by giving her a back rub. She almost falls asleep. Next night is a small step up - she tells him that her boyfriend was abusive to her and asks if she can sleep in the brother’s bed. From there, things slowly ramp up, typically in response to something Jared has done.
I like my stories to have at some point a “What would you do?” scene. What would you do if your sister’s ex-boyfriend sent you a link to lots of pictures of her having sex? Would you look at them? Would you download them? That was a fun scene for me to write.
As I was going to the bathroom to get ready to go to bed, I thought of the telemarketer scene. I had my vitamin and some water in my mouth when I started giggling about that scene so hard that I thought I was going to spit out my vitamin. Thinking about that scene cracked me up several times. I hope it comes across nearly as funny as I found it.
When it came time to come up with a description of Michelle’s looks, I tried to think of someone who was flat-chested and beautiful. Audrey Hepburn was the only person that came to mind. So I wrote the description of Michelle while looking at a picture of Audrey Hepburn.
I wrote the first version and sent it out to beta-readers. I got responses from nine people, some of it quite in-depth. With that in hand, I started re-writing the story. I made so many changes that I can’t list them all. One of the changes were the names - originally the two main characters where Sierra and Aaron. I wasn’t too wild about those names and someone complained that they were too weird. Michelle was the name of a character from a small scene. I cut the scene and gave her name to the main female character. I wanted a “typical” male name and hit upon Chris. The problem with Chris is that it is both a male and female name and I wanted it obvious from the get go that Chris was male. So I came up with the idea of his name being Christopher though only his family used his full name. Hopefully how Michelle said his name struck a chord with the reader.
I made tweaks to the first two-thirds of the story and then re-wrote most of the story from when Michelle catches Christopher looking at pictures of her to the final sex scene. In my first draft, Michelle liked the pictures as they remind her of the good times with Jared and gave Christopher permission to continue to look at them while jacking off. During the sex session while their parents are at the party, I had Christopher deciding he had to fuck Michelle and then taking her doggie-style. Once he buries himself in Michelle, I had her stop him and say she wasn’t ready to fuck. I felt it was too close to rape. And on the flip side - the first time they do something to give Christopher pleasure, Michelle stops it.
One of the problems with the re-write is that I set the story up for their first fuck to be doggie-style and then they never fuck doggie-style. I could have changed the final sex scene to being doggie-style or being her on top flowing into doggie-style. However, (1) sex scenes are hard to me to write so I wasn’t interested in writing a new one and (2) her on top flowing into doggie-style would have matched the way they fuck in “My Sister Set Me Up on a Blind Date”.
What happens next?
At the end of the story, Christopher and Michelle planned out the next couple of years. So they follow that plan and live happily together.
What do I particularly like about this story?
I like to write about current topics and this story had a lot about domestic abuse and cyberbullying. One thing I had never understood before writing this story is why a woman would ever go back to the man who abused her. After writing it, I think I can see why - while she’s away from her man, her self-esteem improves to the point that she thinks she can keep him in line the next time.
Another I liked about this story is that it featured a flat-chested girl. A girl doesn’t need big tits to be attractive. I can’t remember seeing a story on LitE that had a flat-chested girl as the female main character.
What do I think I might get grief about?
* I hope I presented a girl who had been in an abusive relationship in an realistic and sympathetic way. But I could have fallen into a stereotype without knowing it
* Great Ass and Frigid checks. I’m sure that some people will feel that it should be ‘Great Ass’ and ‘Frigid’ checks or “Great Ass” and “Frigid” checks. My editor wanted ‘Great Ass’ and ‘Frigid’ checks. I’ve researched the issue and I think no quotation marks is the correct way to go, but I’m sure that others will disagree
* I’m doubtful that Chris could have gone through the booking process with Jared, but the story worked a lot better with him hanging with Jared will Jared gets processed
* I hope that the story still comes across as a love story and not as an abuse recovery story
What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None. The details for the sex scenes flowed naturally from the story itself.
I’m looking for beta-readers
Particularly women. I think getting lots of different perspectives helped me greatly improve this story. I tried to incorporate all of the feedback I got. I’m not looking for suggestions; I’m looking for comments about what strikes the reader as wrong or weak.
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