Editing help for a new writer

Good afternoon,

I have recently started writing and I would love to know if someone out there could proof read my work and give me pointers.

My first story is under Erotic coupling but I am hoping to develop this story with more chapters which may go under 'Anal' as well as 'group sex'.

This is my first work: https://www.literotica.com/s/london-adventures-01

As you probably can see I need help with punctuation.

I am open to feed back and positive criticism.

Thanks
Dan

I'll give it a look. Send me a PM with your email address and I'll send you an edited version of the story in Word format if that's okay with you.