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Marriage

I don't think it's old fashioned. I think if you're having/adopting a child it's a lifetime commitment. If you're willing to do that I think there should be a lifetime commitment to each other. Marriage is about more than a piece of paper but if none of that interests you...studies have shown that married men live longer than never been married men
 
Beth87 said:
I don't think it's old fashioned. I think if you're having/adopting a child it's a lifetime commitment. If you're willing to do that I think there should be a lifetime commitment to each other. Marriage is about more than a piece of paper but if none of that interests you...studies have shown that married men live longer than never been married men
Click to expand...

Just another reason I could use to be married.
Anything that helps extend my life at this point is good.
 
Handfasted for er let me see now *mentally counts back* nearly 24 years, married for 11 of those (the first 2, we hadn't got the money for the legal bit, then he was far too unwell for several years to book it).

Doing the legal bit was more about stopping his relatives getting his books and giving me (instead of one of his siblings) the final word on flipping the switch (if it comes to it) when he dies.

The handfasting, or at least the fact that it was renewed, says more about commitment than the legal bit with it's ostensible claims of being a lifelong commitment with the get out that "but you can always get divorced...".
 
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Newly divorced, was married for 14.5 years, the last 2.5 of those were spent separated. I regret getting married. I missed out on a vast majority of formative events a person could experience from ages 18-30.
It was a bad relationship. He was abusive and controlling.
 
I was married for ten years and damn did it get ugly before the divorce. Funny thing was it want the divorce that made it ugly. The fact that we were splitting up meant getting back to acting like adults and working things out and having open frank discussions. Something we hadn't been doing. And a lot of what made it civil is that we had kids to take care of as a team. From what I hear I got lucky. We get along better now than we did for probably the last 2 years of our marriage.

And no I don't regret getting married, I wouldn't be who I am today, where I am, with out her. The kids are just an amazing bonus.

I don't recommend it to anyone though. It's not that I have a negative view of it, I just don't want anyone to go through the downs we did.
 
I want to say I regret it because I wish I wasn't married now but on the whole, I don't. As it stands now, I love my husband's family more than I love my husband and I'm happy to know them. As a family, we've been through a lot with them.

I got married too soon and for the wrong reasons. But also, I am a different person now. Down deep I'm the same; but with age, I'm over a lot of the surface stuff that seems so important to worry about when you're in your 20s and not precocious.

But overall, I believe in marriage. My parents were married 63 years. My husband's parents 50. I just don't see that happening for me.
 
Madmar said:
I want to say I regret it because I wish I wasn't married now but on the whole, I don't. As it stands now, I love my husband's family more than I love my husband and I'm happy to know them. As a family, we've been through a lot with them.

I got married too soon and for the wrong reasons. But also, I am a different person now. Down deep I'm the same; but with age, I'm over a lot of the surface stuff that seems so important to worry about when you're in your 20s and not precocious.

But overall, I believe in marriage. My parents were married 63 years. My husband's parents 50. I just don't see that happening for me.
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I get this, I love my wifes family but somedays I'm like wtf did I get married for...
Dont get me started on intercourse
 
Married...don't regret getting married, just wish I had gotten to explore sexually more before I did get married.
 
tnhardon said:
Married...don't regret getting married, just wish I had gotten to explore sexually more before I did get married.
Click to expand...

Me, too, but I wasn't open enough.


Granted, sex isn't everything. But for those people -- mostly women -- that try to make it as if marriage isn't about sex at all anymore, they're so wrong.

Friend of my mother's got remarried at 70 after becoming a widow (sadly, she just became a widow again after about 15 years with this husband). My Mom told her, Oh, that's good, you need companionship. Her friend replied, Oh, it's MORE than just companionship. You go, girl. More men need more women like her.
 
Madmar said:
Me, too, but I wasn't open enough.


Granted, sex isn't everything. But for those people -- mostly women -- that try to make it as if marriage isn't about sex at all anymore, they're so wrong.

Friend of my mother's got remarried at 70 after becoming a widow (sadly, she just became a widow again after about 15 years with this husband). My Mom told her, Oh, that's good, you need companionship. Her friend replied, Oh, it's MORE than just companionship. You go, girl. More men need more women like her.
Click to expand...

Yeah I wasn't sexually open before I got married, but I found out when I started dating my wife that she had quite a bit of sexual experience. Guess some it is jealousy on my part, but I wish now that I had gotten to have sex with more than just her.
 
Just yesterday I got a copy of our marriage license for insurance purposes.
As I read the dates and names it brought back many memories. According to Lit we were illegal. We did have to get written consent from both parents.
Dollie was a few months short of 18 and I'm two years older than her.

The couple who stood up as witnessses many years ago are still our best friends.
All parents have passed long ago. But after dating for over 59 years, married 58+ our love has passed the tests of time. :heart:

We raised our own three children and adopted and raised our first grandson.
It hasn't always been easy and we've been apart very little.
Without Dollie my life would have never been the same.
Somehow throughout raising kids, school, surgeries, and more we've had time to turn our sexual fantasies into realities. No other woman would have put up with me and my perverted mental disabilites.

I could write a book about our love. Ironically, when we did marry I often wondered if I really loved her. What is love? :heart:
 
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