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Damn!!! I've had 8 Mike's Hard lemonades now and can't get a buzz off it.
Is that what they mean by hard? Hard to get toasted?
Is that what they mean by hard? Hard to get toasted?
ABSTRUSIONS: A Bohemian hangout.
- Thread starter ABSTRUSE
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Hey!!! It's Friday. Does that meanit's stand up comedy night again?
Colleen Thomas
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- Feb 11, 2002
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vella_ms said:ah colly.. at the very least.. i know ill be able to get hugs from you..
Anytime sweety :0
*HUGS*
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There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.
Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"
Two cowboys are leanin' up against the rail at their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from a long day, having a couple of longnecks, just relaxin' and talking, watchin' the women go by. A really beautiful brunette walks by, and the two cowboys look at her, look at each other, smile and one of them says, "I'll give her a 3."
The other cowboy nods slowly, and says, "Yep. She's a 3 for sure."
A little while later another woman, this time a fantastic lookin' redhead, comes walkin' by in front of them.. The first cowboy looks her up and down, smiles, takes a sip from his beer, and says to the second cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4."
The second cowboy agrees and says, "Yep... she sure is a 4."
Time passes on, and the cowboys are still sippin' their beers, just watchin' folks pass. And across the room comes a drop-dead gorgeous blonde. As she comes near them, they both straighten up, and tip their hats back a little for a better look.
The first cowboy smiles real wide, looks at his pal and says, "Damnnn! That one has GOT to be a 6."
The second cowboy nods slowly, grins and says, "Yep. DEFINITELY a 6."
The woman hears them, turns around real sharply and comes right up to the two grinning cowboys. She looks the first one in the eye and says, "Excuse me. But are you two actually standing there rating women?"
The cowboys look kind of embarrassed, but they both nod. One of them says, "Well, yes ma'am, we are, but you don't understand...."
The blonde, even madder, looks at the cowboy and says, "Well, I'll have you know I've been rated far higher than that by far better than YOU."
And the second cowboy says, "But, ma'am, you really don't understand - we use a different kind a rating system...."
The blonde, says, "Oh., and what would THAT be? No one has EVER rated me a SIX before!"
The second cowboy says, "Well, we use the Budweiser method, ma'am."
Taken aback, she asks, "What the hell is the Budweiser method?"
And the first cowboy smiles, looks at her and says slowly, "Well ma'am, that's how many Clydesdales it would take to pull you off my face."
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A redhead won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.
***
How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl.
***
How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.
***
What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed?
A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied. A redhead
let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied.
***
Brunette after sex: "Oh that was great! Love you...wanna marry?"
Blonde after sex: "Next!"
Redhead after sex: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid.
***
Two sailors on shore leave, walking down the street. They spot a beautiful
blonde. The first sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a
blonde?" The second sailor replies that he has. They walk on further and
see an even more beautiful brunette. The first sailor asks "Have you ever
slept with a brunette?" The second sailor replies, "Why yes, in fact I've
slept with brunettes on many occasions." They walk on a little further, and
see a gorgeous redhead, who leaves the other two girls for dead. The first
sailor asks "Have you ever slept with a redhead then?" His companion looks
at him and replies "Not a wink!"
***
What's the redhead dating motto?
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
***
How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
Say something!!!
***
How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait 10 seconds.
*****
A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family."
The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on."
She did and said "I don't fit into these."
"That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!"
She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"
Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"
Two cowboys are leanin' up against the rail at their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from a long day, having a couple of longnecks, just relaxin' and talking, watchin' the women go by. A really beautiful brunette walks by, and the two cowboys look at her, look at each other, smile and one of them says, "I'll give her a 3."
The other cowboy nods slowly, and says, "Yep. She's a 3 for sure."
A little while later another woman, this time a fantastic lookin' redhead, comes walkin' by in front of them.. The first cowboy looks her up and down, smiles, takes a sip from his beer, and says to the second cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4."
The second cowboy agrees and says, "Yep... she sure is a 4."
Time passes on, and the cowboys are still sippin' their beers, just watchin' folks pass. And across the room comes a drop-dead gorgeous blonde. As she comes near them, they both straighten up, and tip their hats back a little for a better look.
The first cowboy smiles real wide, looks at his pal and says, "Damnnn! That one has GOT to be a 6."
The second cowboy nods slowly, grins and says, "Yep. DEFINITELY a 6."
The woman hears them, turns around real sharply and comes right up to the two grinning cowboys. She looks the first one in the eye and says, "Excuse me. But are you two actually standing there rating women?"
The cowboys look kind of embarrassed, but they both nod. One of them says, "Well, yes ma'am, we are, but you don't understand...."
The blonde, even madder, looks at the cowboy and says, "Well, I'll have you know I've been rated far higher than that by far better than YOU."
And the second cowboy says, "But, ma'am, you really don't understand - we use a different kind a rating system...."
The blonde, says, "Oh., and what would THAT be? No one has EVER rated me a SIX before!"
The second cowboy says, "Well, we use the Budweiser method, ma'am."
Taken aback, she asks, "What the hell is the Budweiser method?"
And the first cowboy smiles, looks at her and says slowly, "Well ma'am, that's how many Clydesdales it would take to pull you off my face."
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A redhead won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.
***
How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl.
***
How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.
***
What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed?
A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied. A redhead
let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied.
***
Brunette after sex: "Oh that was great! Love you...wanna marry?"
Blonde after sex: "Next!"
Redhead after sex: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid.
***
Two sailors on shore leave, walking down the street. They spot a beautiful
blonde. The first sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a
blonde?" The second sailor replies that he has. They walk on further and
see an even more beautiful brunette. The first sailor asks "Have you ever
slept with a brunette?" The second sailor replies, "Why yes, in fact I've
slept with brunettes on many occasions." They walk on a little further, and
see a gorgeous redhead, who leaves the other two girls for dead. The first
sailor asks "Have you ever slept with a redhead then?" His companion looks
at him and replies "Not a wink!"
***
What's the redhead dating motto?
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
***
How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
Say something!!!
***
How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait 10 seconds.
*****
A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family."
The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on."
She did and said "I don't fit into these."
"That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!"
She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"
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Honey123 said:
Indeed.
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Honey123 said:
No. Just a fan.
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cloudy said:Well, this is one brunette who's feeling very, um....left out.
Bitch is very becoming on you, Honey, Abs is right.
No need to feel left out. I'm also a brunette fan. And a big fan of great butts. And that you have.
RebeccaLeah
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- Aug 9, 2003
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cloudy said:Well, this is one brunette who's feeling very, um....left out.
Bitch is very becoming on you, Honey, Abs is right.
we brunettes will just have to stick together and fight the anti-sexist remarks.
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RebeccaLeah said:we brunettes will just have to stick together and fight the anti-sexist remarks.
Please do.
Women are more fun in groups.
RebeccaLeah
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- Aug 9, 2003
- Posts
- 9,922
cloudy said:
ahhh, good. I'm actually ready for bed at it's before 2am. but i got draged away from dancing with colly earlier, which sucked. *pout*
how's your night going?
RebeccaLeah
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- Aug 9, 2003
- Posts
- 9,922
Dranoel said:Please do.
Women are more fun in groups.
only if we let you watch.
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cloudy said:
I am a rare breed indeed. Half dragon. Half cowboy. What a combo, eh?
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