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Old 02-27-2019, 05:49 PM   #1251
newhere2learn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ars119 View Post
Yes mine does. You hit the nail right on the head!
It's a silent dominance thing. As the guy you're on the back foot. If she gives you sex, you pander to her. She's won. If she withhold, but still gives a hint that it may happen, without ever realising you subconsciously start to try and woo her.

Case/point I got 50% as much sex last week, as I did in the whole of the prior year. Why? Because she was spoiled for her birthday. So felt like a princess.

One round of sex was prior to the gifts and weekend away. The "ooh I'm excited" phase.

Round two was during the weekend away. Which bought me 48 hours follow up of cuddles and affection.


Novelty has worn off, shutters are down again.
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Old 02-27-2019, 05:51 PM   #1252
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Originally Posted by eroticspank View Post
True. But I doubt it started out that way, like when you first started dating. There is anger, resentment, or something else causing her behavior. (At least that is my 2 cents)

"Yeah that felt good but I am still upset about.....so sort yourself."

Or

(If I give him pleasure does that mean what he did two months ago is okay? Am I saying what he did was acceptable?)

Who knows, I am making this^ up. The only way you will know for sure what is going on is for her to tell you.

ES
See above. Also;

Early days; sex was a training mechanism. She got me to spoil her rotten. Nights out, weekends away, $300 shoes.

Once the glitz went, and GF became fiancee, became wife, became mother to the kids.... "Why do I need to have sex with him? I've got what I want"

The last time she really put any effort in, was when she was drunk and wanted me to agree to a new house we could barely afford.
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Old 02-28-2019, 05:20 PM   #1253
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Originally Posted by newhere2learn View Post
See above. Also;

Early days; sex was a training mechanism. She got me to spoil her rotten. Nights out, weekends away, $300 shoes.

Once the glitz went, and GF became fiancee, became wife, became mother to the kids.... "Why do I need to have sex with him? I've got what I want"

The last time she really put any effort in, was when she was drunk and wanted me to agree to a new house we could barely afford.
Do some women really convince themselves they don't need sex? If they deprive the husband of sex aren't they doing the same to themselves?

Do you really feel like the shoes, Nights out, and $300 shoes was just for sex?

I wonder what things you do for your wife/mate that are clearly nonsexual and just about being nice to her as a person? (I find that I am asking myself this same question. I am not sure the answers.)

I feel like it is no longer a habit or routine and it is soon way down the list of priorities. First come the kids, the house, the yard, your Mom, her Mom, etc and sure enough the day is over and back to square one.....the kids, the house...

Maybe she is tired of the same approach, same position, same.....etc?

I know it takes two and it is certainly complicated. I am just throwing out thoughts and ideas, I am sure many of you have tried some or all of them.


ES
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Old 02-28-2019, 05:38 PM   #1254
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and sex

[QUOTE=newhere2learn


Novelty has worn off, shutters are down again.[/QUOTE

Last edited by wfehe : 02-28-2019 at 05:57 PM. Reason: Posted in error
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Old 03-01-2019, 01:57 AM   #1255
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eroticspank View Post
Do some women really convince themselves they don't need sex? If they deprive the husband of sex aren't they doing the same to themselves?
Definitely. I know plenty of women who have said that if it's a contest between who can be happy without sex longer, they (the women) would win, no contest.
Many women can get that same sense of intimacy that sex brings without having to actually engage in sex.
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Old 03-01-2019, 05:30 PM   #1256
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Originally Posted by MaBelle3120 View Post
Definitely. I know plenty of women who have said that if it's a contest between who can be happy without sex longer, they (the women) would win, no contest.
Many women can get that same sense of intimacy that sex brings without having to actually engage in sex.
Yep. They just swipe the credit card.

"He spent a week's wages on me this weekend... He must love me"
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Old 03-01-2019, 05:31 PM   #1257
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Originally Posted by eroticspank View Post
Do some women really convince themselves they don't need sex? If they deprive the husband of sex aren't they doing the same to themselves?

Do you really feel like the shoes, Nights out, and $300 shoes was just for sex?

I wonder what things you do for your wife/mate that are clearly nonsexual and just about being nice to her as a person? (I find that I am asking myself this same question. I am not sure the answers.)

I feel like it is no longer a habit or routine and it is soon way down the list of priorities. First come the kids, the house, the yard, your Mom, her Mom, etc and sure enough the day is over and back to square one.....the kids, the house...

Maybe she is tired of the same approach, same position, same.....etc?

I know it takes two and it is certainly complicated. I am just throwing out thoughts and ideas, I am sure many of you have tried some or all of them.


ES

You name it, tried. Only three things have caused a hiatus in the hiatus;

1. Doing nothing.
2. Tell them you're leaving
3. Sort the issues in question
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Old 03-05-2019, 12:58 PM   #1258
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Originally Posted by MaBelle3120 View Post
Definitely. I know plenty of women who have said that if it's a contest between who can be happy without sex longer, they (the women) would win, no contest.
Many women can get that same sense of intimacy that sex brings without having to actually engage in sex.

I agree, especially IF it becomes a contest. I can see how they will be motivated to not have sex at all knowing it will help the situation or hurt their partner. I do know some women out there that would do that and I think it is sad, certainly the wrong approach if it involves hurting someone.

However a good point is that women can get intimacy that sex brings other ways easier than men can. Going out with the girlfriends and having "girl talk" is one way, I think having guy friends and talking with them is another. This is a big difference from women and men.

ES
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Old 03-05-2019, 01:00 PM   #1259
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Originally Posted by newhere2learn View Post
You name it, tried. Only three things have caused a hiatus in the hiatus;

1. Doing nothing.
2. Tell them you're leaving
3. Sort the issues in question
#3 sounds good....I think that is a big part of communication.

ES
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:21 AM   #1260
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Originally Posted by Mr. Briggs View Post
I had found this article and sent it to my wife. Usually when i send stuff like this she gets very defensive. This was the first time she actually reacted in a positive way. She read it and immediately said it was exactly how she felt.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/1057...be-devastating

sometimes I wonder if its all about my hard-on...I completely missed this post
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Old 03-06-2019, 08:01 AM   #1261
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Originally Posted by klippert View Post
sometimes I wonder if its all about my hard-on...I completely missed this post
Amen to that. However, if I sent my wife that she'd flip out.
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Old 03-06-2019, 03:31 PM   #1262
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sometimes I wonder if its all about my hard-on...I completely missed this post
That is a good article, other women need to read it as mentioned. I wonder if they really have found something women can take to help that condition.

I have heard of the Orgasm shot that women can take to increase vaginal sensitivity, arousal, and result in much better orgasm. Long story short: 2 shots of the woman's own blood plasma taken from her arm for example, the shots are administered to her vaginal area and it works within an hour to last about 16 months and cost about 2 grand. See below for more info or just do a search of O shot. It is out now and based on testimonials got great reviews.


https://www.earlmd.com/o-shot-for-women

ES
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Old 03-08-2019, 02:46 PM   #1263
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Update of no update. After my wife wanting sex twice in 4 days last month, were back to normal... Fuck all. Routine of life goes on, her anxiety and depression continue and her (real & imagined) health concerns continue to be mentioned hourly.

I'm back to providing foot and leg rubs for nothing in return.


Instead of seeing this as soul destroying, borderline abusive relationship I've embraced it as a positive and given another female (a lit Friend) complete control of my sexual activities, pleasure and O for the month of March.

Effectively between my wife of zero libido and poor attitude, and my slightly sadist and very playful domme, I'm in chastity.

12 days of edging and denial so far. And I'm loving it.
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Old 03-14-2019, 10:38 PM   #1264
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Old 03-23-2019, 03:57 AM   #1265
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28 days now. Not so much as a glimmer. After getting it twice in a week, we're back to status quo.
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Old 03-23-2019, 06:55 AM   #1266
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eroticspank View Post
That is a good article, other women need to read it as mentioned. I wonder if they really have found something women can take to help that condition.

I have heard of the Orgasm shot that women can take to increase vaginal sensitivity, arousal, and result in much better orgasm. Long story short: 2 shots of the woman's own blood plasma taken from her arm for example, the shots are administered to her vaginal area and it works within an hour to last about 16 months and cost about 2 grand. See below for more info or just do a search of O shot. It is out now and based on testimonials got great reviews.


https://www.earlmd.com/o-shot-for-women

ES
i sent this article to the Mrs...with a kind and caring note. she read it...commented, saying she doubts she'd want to take any Rx. her last comment was she'd rather talk in person...not a word since. though that weekend we masturbate each other. She had a solid orgasm...one then another on top...I had followed with an orgasm, that made a huge wet spot. She giggles..."I've always been amazed at how much you shoo't" I hoped this would turn into one of my fetishes "talking about her sexual past"
Since then nothing, no conversation.. but, she is 52, having what I think is Pre menopause...and she is having body confidence issues i'm sure, weight gain..difficulty losing weight etc
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Old 03-23-2019, 07:09 AM   #1267
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It is has been since October 2013 for me, like 1,967 days. She did have a hysterectomy in 2006 and was spotty for awhile and has now turned into nope not a chance.
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Old 03-23-2019, 07:17 AM   #1268
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It is has been since October 2013 for me, like 1,967 days. She did have a hysterectomy in 2006 and was spotty for awhile and has now turned into nope not a chance.

sorry to hear that bro....
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Old 03-23-2019, 08:24 AM   #1269
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Originally Posted by newhere2learn View Post
Amen to that. However, if I sent my wife that she'd flip out.
EXACTLY! If you can't even talk about the problem, if you can't speak about it as a problem, if she doesn't feel there is a problem, then suggesting there is a problem sounds to her like you are attacking, shaming, insulting her.

It would take a rare woman indeed, thinking there is NO PROBLEM, but out of love for her husband, to undergo expensive counseling, perhaps hormone therapy, maybe psychoanalysis amidst all the other stuff that everyone has going on in their lives.

(I don't have it as bad as many of you, but it still hurts every time she says 'no' or says nothing.)

I don't think there is a solution to this problem.
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Old 03-23-2019, 08:44 AM   #1270
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Iíve stopped asking or trying. Been so long that Iím not sure I even miss it anymore and the rejection hurts a lot more than the lack of sex
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Old Yesterday, 03:12 AM   #1271
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EXACTLY! If you can't even talk about the problem, if you can't speak about it as a problem, if she doesn't feel there is a problem, then suggesting there is a problem sounds to her like you are attacking, shaming, insulting her.

It would take a rare woman indeed, thinking there is NO PROBLEM, but out of love for her husband, to undergo expensive counseling, perhaps hormone therapy, maybe psychoanalysis amidst all the other stuff that everyone has going on in their lives.

(I don't have it as bad as many of you, but it still hurts every time she says 'no' or says nothing.)

I don't think there is a solution to this problem.

Exactly, very well summed up. "Bit there's no problem, are you telling me I'm the problem?"

I'm currently deemed a sex pest for wanting sex twice a year
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Old Yesterday, 03:12 AM   #1272
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Iíve stopped asking or trying. Been so long that Iím not sure I even miss it anymore and the rejection hurts a lot more than the lack of sex
Can certainly adhere to this. The effort of trying seems not worthwhile
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