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Professional women that secretly like to be dominated

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submit4pleasure69

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I wonder if there are any professional, well educated women that have high end jobs that secretly like to be dominated and used by a man. Years ago I worked for a office cleaning company and was seduced by an older women, she was in her 40s and I was in my 20s. She was the CFO (chief financial officer) of this big company and I was on the custodial staff. She came on strong and I'm not one to turn down a hot women. So we started banging during her lunch break. The thing is she wanted me to dominate her, treat her like a cheap slut and I did. The dirtier and more aggressive I got the more she loved it. So are there any professional women out there that are the same? Professional well educated business women that secretly wants to be fucked like a cheap slut by the guy that cleans your office?
 
Professional status and social positions of power are not indicative of a persons "role" or "place" in a relationship (dominant or submissive).
 
It's really common in high powered women. My ex was in a high powered position and could only get off by being held down and called a whore.

The psychology makes sense if you think about. Spend your life dealing with responsibility, dragging people up to your level, and working your ass off, the idea of a guy who will just take all the stress of sex away and give you the pleasure you desire without you having to have yet more responsibility and control ... that's got to be appealing. And of course, for that to make sense, that's going to manifest itself as a whole bunch of various fantasies, including non-consent. Wanting to be degraded a called a whore ... it's all part of that image in their head of what a powerful guy would be like, and obviously they're typically so confident that they don't really take offense to the comment (as they don't believe it on any level), so can just revel in the sexualisation of those extreme words.
 
So are there any professional women out there that are the same?
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"Are there any?" questions can usually be answered with "yes."

Professional well educated business women that secretly wants to be fucked like a cheap slut by the guy that cleans your office?
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Probably, is this a personal ad?

I agree with CM.

The stereotypes that a sub is either super awesome business person, or a weak person that needs to be coached into being an awesome person is really shitty. :rolleyes:
 
Hazardo said:
It's really common in high powered women. My ex was in a high powered position and could only get off by being held down and called a whore.

The psychology makes sense if you think about. Spend your life dealing with responsibility, dragging people up to your level, and working your ass off, the idea of a guy who will just take all the stress of sex away and give you the pleasure you desire without you having to have yet more responsibility and control ... that's got to be appealing. And of course, for that to make sense, that's going to manifest itself as a whole bunch of various fantasies, including non-consent. Wanting to be degraded a called a whore ... it's all part of that image in their head of what a powerful guy would be like, and obviously they're typically so confident that they don't really take offense to the comment (as they don't believe it on any level), so can just revel in the sexualisation of those extreme words.
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This is just all too cliche.

I'll make a bet there are a lot of women who like this kind of sex. Including middle-aged women who work retail.
 
Hazardo said:
It's really common in high powered women. My ex was in a high powered position and could only get off by being held down and called a whore.

The psychology makes sense if you think about. Spend your life dealing with responsibility, dragging people up to your level, and working your ass off, the idea of a guy who will just take all the stress of sex away and give you the pleasure you desire without you having to have yet more responsibility and control ... that's got to be appealing. And of course, for that to make sense, that's going to manifest itself as a whole bunch of various fantasies, including non-consent. Wanting to be degraded a called a whore ... it's all part of that image in their head of what a powerful guy would be like, and obviously they're typically so confident that they don't really take offense to the comment (as they don't believe it on any level), so can just revel in the sexualisation of those extreme words.
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This is equatable with people in the 70's saying that being gay is understandable in men who didn't grow up with a father figure around. The implication being that they were around women too much and started acting effeminate and being attracted to men.

Somebody's sexuality (Yes I'd consider BDSM, especially when regarded as crucial to somebody's sex life, an orientation) is not so strongly determined by their upbringing and certainly not by their career stresses...
 
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Consilience said:
This is equatable with people in the 70's saying that being gay is understandable in men who didn't grow up with a father figure around. The implication being that they were around women too much and started acting effeminate and being attracted to men.

Somebody's sexuality (Yes I'd consider BDSM, especially when regarded as crucial to somebody's sex life, an orientation) is not so strongly determined by their upbringing and certainly not by their career stresses...
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It's nothing like that. That's insulting homosexuals. Terrible comparison. :rolleyes:

Life experience massively influences what you like in the bedroom. If you take non-consent fantasies for example, a lot of those people developed that kink after surviving sexual abuse.

By that logic, growing into someone who has to be in control all the time in life could easily spawn a desire to be out of control. To me that's very clear.
 
Hazardo said:
It's nothing like that. That's insulting homosexuals. Terrible comparison. :rolleyes:

Life experience massively influences what you like in the bedroom. If you take non-consent fantasies for example, a lot of those people developed that kink after surviving sexual abuse.

By that logic, growing into someone who has to be in control all the time in life could easily spawn a desire to be out of control. To me that's very clear.
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Nope. I see my interest in BDSM like a sexual orientation. I am wired to be this way, and always have been. Just like I am wired to rarely feel sexual attraction, or be romantically drawn to men. I think you'd be surprised at how often many people's sexual predilections are hard wired. For some people BDSM is a spicy excitement in their life. For others it's a requirement to feel fulfilled. Neither is better than the other, but I'd bet most people who require it were born that way.
 
Hazardo said:
It's nothing like that. That's insulting homosexuals. Terrible comparison. :rolleyes:

Life experience massively influences what you like in the bedroom. If you take non-consent fantasies for example, a lot of those people developed that kink after surviving sexual abuse.
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Uh, no they didn't. That's a very common fantasy among women and to a lesser extent men too. Whether or not they've been abused has no bearing on what their particular sexual preferences are, it would just modify their willingness to engage in it.
I was comparing you taking arbitrary life experiences that might seem as though they're related to this subject and drawing non-existent links between them. I think that's called the Forer effect.
Hazardo said:
By that logic, growing into someone who has to be in control all the time in life could easily spawn a desire to be out of control. To me that's very clear.
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But not even slightly necessarily a sexual desire.

It's like your view on sex is wholly built off of decades-old myths.
 
On the flip side. there are those who survived sexual abuse who cannot tolerate any kind of non-consent play. So there is no 1:1 ratio on this.
I go with Con on the Forer effect explanation.

And I think that sexual proclivities are more hard wired than most people are willing to admit, but like homosexuality was for so long, many are ashamed or in denial or closeted about it.

Just my opinion. I am unable to cite any scientifically validated double blind studies to prove it. Take it or leave it.
 
Hazardo said:
It's really common in high powered women. My ex was in a high powered position and could only get off by being held down and called a whore.
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I'd argue that it's not a "really common in high powered women thing"... more like a "really common in women" thing. (Unsolicited advice - don't call a woman a whore unless you get permission, first...)

The psychology makes sense if you think about. Spend your life dealing with responsibility, dragging people up to your level, and working your ass off, the idea of a guy who will just take all the stress of sex away and give you the pleasure you desire without you having to have yet more responsibility and control ... that's got to be appealing.
Click to expand...

Which is totally why so many high powered men who spend life dealing with responsibility, dragging people up to their level, and working their asses off secretly crave to be dominated by the maid... right? I mean, since that's gotta be appealing...

And of course, for that to make sense, that's going to manifest itself as a whole bunch of various fantasies, including non-consent. Wanting to be degraded a called a whore ... it's all part of that image in their head of what a powerful guy would be like, and obviously they're typically so confident that they don't really take offense to the comment (as they don't believe it on any level), so can just revel in the sexualisation of those extreme words.
Click to expand...

CNC (Consensual Non Consent) is a really common fantasy. Methinks you're a bit too hung up on the pornification of kink.


Life experience massively influences what you like in the bedroom. If you take non-consent fantasies for example, a lot of those people developed that kink after surviving sexual abuse.
Click to expand...

And just as many people developed that kink with no history of sexual abuse at all... your point?

By that logic, growing into someone who has to be in control all the time in life could easily spawn a desire to be out of control. To me that's very clear.
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Or, you could just as easily be someone who has to be in control all the time, because CONTROL.

Nice psycho-babble, though...
 
As someone who has a non-consent side to my kink, I've spent about 8 years on an NC forum. There are countless female members whose story involves surviving abuse and that being the start of their NC fantasy exploration. Whether you think that unlocked a latent kink or psychologically changed them, the fact remains that key life experience was the turning point for them.

I'm not implying this is the hard and fast rule for everyone. Of course I'm not implying everyone who gets raped suddenly develops an NC kink. Nor am I implying that all women in a high powered job want to be subs, and nobody in lower powered jobs do. I'm merely proposing explanations which apply to some people, and are a possible answer to the OPs question.

Would anyone like to have sensible discussions considering each others' points and looking for common ground without making jabs? That'd be a pleasant community attitude. :)
 
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Hazardo said:
Cliché maybe, but accurate, so worth pointing out to someone who hasn't thought about it. Would you prefer me not to state any established psychology in future threads? :rolleyes:
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Established?

Links to appropriate research please.
We'll wait.


And wait.
 
Hazardo said:
As someone who has a non-consent side to my kink, I've spent about 8 years on an NC forum. There are countless female members whose story involves surviving abuse and that being the start of their NC fantasy exploration. Whether you think that unlocked a latent kink or psychologically changed them, the fact remains that key life experience was the turning point for them.

I'm not implying this is the hard and fast rule for everyone. Of course I'm not implying everyone who gets raped suddenly develops an NC kink. Nor am I implying that all women in a high powered job want to be subs, and nobody in lower powered jobs do. I'm merely proposing explanations which apply to some people, and are a possible answer to the OPs question.

Would anyone like to have sensible discussions considering each others' points and looking for common ground without making jabs? That'd be a pleasant community attitude. :)
Click to expand...

Maybe we aren't looking for "common ground" to your anecdotally charged assertions.
Making jabs? Or disagreement?
 
I have something similar. I'm a teacher which is professional but not business professional and I love being dominated. I get off on being a good little sub. I don't know how women are.
 
Farawyn said:
Established?

Links to appropriate research please.
We'll wait.


And wait.
Click to expand...
From the 'Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in Bondage and Discipline, “Sadomasochism” or Dominance and Submission (BDSM): Data from a National Survey', Australia 2008.
From a representative sample of 19,307 respondents aged 16–59 years, interviewed by telephone.

Results:

"Participants in BDSM are not more likely than nonparticipants to have been subject to sexual coercion in the past.
Our findings support the idea that BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority, and for most participants not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with “normal” sex."

Full study
Abstract (Summary)
Citation in wikipedia

"researchers assume that 5 to 25 percent of the population practices sexual behavior related to pain or dominance and submission. The population with related fantasies is believed to be even larger"
-Wikipedia from a 2011 German study
So probably >25% of people fantasize about elements of it. I'm sure very few of them have been abused.
 
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Hazardo said:
As someone who has a non-consent side to my kink, I've spent about 8 years on an NC forum. There are countless female members whose story involves surviving abuse and that being the start of their NC fantasy exploration. Whether you think that unlocked a latent kink or psychologically changed them, the fact remains that key life experience was the turning point for them.

I'm not implying this is the hard and fast rule for everyone. Of course I'm not implying everyone who gets raped suddenly develops an NC kink. Nor am I implying that all women in a high powered job want to be subs, and nobody in lower powered jobs do. I'm merely proposing explanations which apply to some people, and are a possible answer to the OPs question.

Would anyone like to have sensible discussions considering each others' points and looking for common ground without making jabs? That'd be a pleasant community attitude. :)
Click to expand...

I see no jabs. I see an interesting discussion.

Nearly all my fantasies have been non consent fantasies. My very first sexual fantasy was non consent. I've never been the victim of abuse. I had a pretty normal childhood.

I think those people just happen to be drawn to BDSM and have experienced abuse. The number of people in our society who are victims of sexual assault or abuse is remarkably high. How do you account for the fact that a significant majority of people are not into BDSM?
 
I must be working in the wrong offices for the wrong companies. People at the CFO level are usually working through lunch or barely getting enough time to have a meal at all, plus their offices typically have glass walls that don't give visual privacy, and the custodial staff does most of their work at the end of the day - so they really aren't around midday. I have never worked in a place that provided all the logistics necessary to accomplish what the OP has described. I'm sure offices like that are out there, but I have yet to see one.
 
Hazardo said:
As someone who has a non-consent side to my kink, I've spent about 8 years on an NC forum. There are countless female members whose story involves surviving abuse and that being the start of their NC fantasy exploration. Whether you think that unlocked a latent kink or psychologically changed them, the fact remains that key life experience was the turning point for them.

I'm not implying this is the hard and fast rule for everyone. Of course I'm not implying everyone who gets raped suddenly develops an NC kink. Nor am I implying that all women in a high powered job want to be subs, and nobody in lower powered jobs do. I'm merely proposing explanations which apply to some people, and are a possible answer to the OPs question.

Would anyone like to have sensible discussions considering each others' points and looking for common ground without making jabs? That'd be a pleasant community attitude. :)
Click to expand...

I wasn't being unpleasant; I was offering a different point of view.

Armchair psychologists I've known over the years, usually lean towards the "submissive women with CNC proclivities are more likely to have experienced sexual abuse as children" theory.

(I've had men tell me my sexual proclivities are due to childhood sexual abuse... I just don't remember it happening. :rolleyes: )

Licensed, practicing therapists I've known over the years, have all stated that human sexuality is too complex to link specific childhood traumas/abuse as cause.

The reality is that at least 25% of the population experiences some form of abuse in childhood. So yes, there are people into BDSM who have abusive pasts. But they are more likely to be interested in BDSM (CNC, etc) in spite of the fact that they have abuse in their past, than because of it.
 
Hazardo said:
Cliché maybe, but accurate, so worth pointing out to someone who hasn't thought about it. Would you prefer me not to state any established psychology in future threads? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I don't really have a preference other than you state what you think then I state what I think and a discussion then takes place.

I'd be interested in seeing that established psychology. In looking around online, I didn't see anything that directly established a link between being in "high powered" job and submission. The info I saw said this:

Way back in 1973, researcher and therapist E. Barbara Hinton interviewed women about their fantasies and—surprise, surprise—women said they fantasized being “forcefully taken.” She discovered women fantasize about aggressive lovers because it makes the women feel desirable, not because they like being physically hurt or rejected.
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In April of 2009, psychologist Patricia Hawley published a paper in the Journal of Sex that studied how each gender responded to dominant sex. She concluded it is true that "alpha" women responded more positively than any other group to the idea of being dominated. The reason, however, wasn't the act of submitting. Instead, Hawley writes:

A socially dominant woman, in particular, was more likely to fantasize she was sexually irresistible and was turned on by the idea that her partner was so engorged with lust that he was going to burst.
Click to expand...

From the same article:

Hawley’s view that forceful submission fantasies are ‘generally construed as an ardent, passionate pursuit rather than force per se.’…For alpha females, apparently, submission is empowering.”
Click to expand...

So here's some established psychology that tells us a professional woman does enjoy submission NOT to feel forced but to feel desired.

I'm just throwing out another perspective. For me, it doesn't really matter. I didn't have a particularly high powered, stressful job but I'm hard-wired to be submissive.

I see no jabs in this entire discussion other than eye rolling emojis... Aren't we just discussing??
 
Gianbattista said:
My heart is always gladdened when I meet a women who says she has experienced no off putting, unwanted attention in her life, no inappropriate grabs or touches on public transport or in pubs or clubs, not 'abuse' as we think of it, but 'uncomfortable' comment or touching from people ever, no pressure to do something unwanted....
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I can not recall the last woman I had a conversation with that would have elicited this type of information who did not have at least one of those experiences.

Elle...it gladdens my heart that such women actually exist in the world.
 
Hazardo said:
Cliché maybe, but accurate, so worth pointing out to someone who hasn't thought about it. Would you prefer me not to state any established psychology in future threads? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Seconding everybody else: citation needed.

Hazardo said:
Life experience massively influences what you like in the bedroom. If you take non-consent fantasies for example, a lot of those people developed that kink after surviving sexual abuse.
Click to expand...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post_hoc_ergo_propter_hoc
 
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