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More than one online sub?

S

SubToBe

Virgin
Joined
Mar 12, 2014
Posts
17
Hi Everyone,
I just have a general question regarding online D/s relationships? Is it common for a Dom to have more than one/several online subs? I don't have a ton of experience but am just wondering if this should be a red flag or if it is acceptable? On the flip side, what about subs having more than one online Dom?
 
Everyone is different, but in general a com can have multiple subs (but will have to spread attention). A sub having multiple doms is less common.
 
Online players often seem to have multiple playmates so more likely to find someone to play with when go online. Even in real world it's not unheard of for a dom to have more than one sub. I can identify at least 4 subs one of my exs has played with in the past year if everyone is happy good for her. Every relationship has it's own rules whether it's kinky or not part of the fun is finding how your and your partners views combine.
 
This sounds like something you want to be in agreement on, judging from your post. If you have discussed this, and you both have agreed to keep the relationship exclusive, then you should both be honoring what you agreed to.

However, if you don't have an agreement, if you never discussed it, and you are just now finding out that you are one of many and you are not happy with that arrangement, then bring it up with your Dom and discuss it. See if you can come to an agreement.

If not, you may want to end your association with them and look for someone you are more comfortable with. Think about what you want up front, and discuss it. Things like what you are willing to do and won't do in real life, how you want to communicate (cam, chat, email, etc) and discuss them. You are, after all, half of the relationship (well, if you go for exclusive you are, anyway! :)) and deserve to have a say in what you want to make you happy. Leaving your Dom can be difficult but it can be done.

You always have every right to ask what you want, bring things up for discussion, and have a say in your relationship, unless you fully discuss and freely give away some portion of control over what happens to you. And don't be afraid to come back here and ask questions. Good luck :)
 
It doesn't matter if it's "common" or "acceptable".

Do you want to be part of a multiple submissive online thing, or do you want to be the only submissive?

Do you want to have one online dominant, or multiple online dominants?
 
Thank you everyone for your replies. It helps me to get different perspectives on issues. Collar N Cuffs, keep on writing! Your responses are much appreciated! :)
 
CutieMouse said:
It doesn't matter if it's "common" or "acceptable".

Do you want to be part of a multiple submissive online thing, or do you want to be the only submissive?

Do you want to have one online dominant, or multiple online dominants?
Click to expand...



This. Thanks for saving me writing it CM.
 
bdsmshade said:
Online players often seem to have multiple playmates so more likely to find someone to play with when go online. Even in real world it's not unheard of for a dom to have more than one sub. I can identify at least 4 subs one of my exs has played with in the past year if everyone is happy good for her. Every relationship has it's own rules whether it's kinky or not part of the fun is finding how your and your partners views combine.
Click to expand...

Can i have her #?
Oh shit, nevermind. Forgot i was going straight.
 
pensivepoet said:
Can i have her #?
Oh shit, nevermind. Forgot i was going straight.
Click to expand...

If had her number I would probably be in less trouble with her, though would look more like a total ass. But if gave her number out to people online I would dig my own grave save time and effort.
 
For a second, i thought you said stick it in the fridge.
Maybe it's worth a try
I tried a hypnotist, then ended up tied to her bed posts.
 
pensivepoet said:
For a second, i thought you said stick it in the fridge.
Maybe it's worth a try
I tried a hypnotist, then ended up tied to her bed posts.
Click to expand...

Can I have her #?

I have no intention of going straight, ever. ;)

OP, you can be sure that any domly dom you talk to will insist that you cleave unto them only, just like a good old fashioned marriage. And most of them will insist that they can have as manysubs as they want. That's the way common mythology has painted the role, you see.

The real question is-- what do YOU want?

Wanna date around for a while? Do it. Maybe you'll meet THE ONE that way.

And read the essay linked in my signature before you call yourself a sub.
 
Kinky as old fashioned marriage eash that's a horrible concept. Well unless marriage is what gets you hot.

It's far too common to find people who believe that the dom gets to have it all and the sub should just do as they are told. We have just as much right to be respected that's why we have to value communication so everyone's needs can be met. If you aren't comfortable with the way someone plays you should always have the right to walk away.

It really should be the case everywhere in all relationships that no matter how normal it is for everyone else in the world if it makes you uncomfortable you should not have to do it.
 
I swear though, SO MANY heteros talk about BDSM in a way they might as well be talking about marriage. Instead of engagement rings, they talk about a "Collar of consideration" and then they all can't wait to be COLLARED FOREVER AND EVER!

It's.. I guess it's kind of sweet.
 
Stella_Omega said:
I swear though, SO MANY heteros talk about BDSM in a way they might as well be talking about marriage. Instead of engagement rings, they talk about a "Collar of consideration" and then they all can't wait to be COLLARED FOREVER AND EVER!

It's.. I guess it's kind of sweet.
Click to expand...

Forever and ever... You mean it? (@_@)
 
I guess that makes me a terrible hetero. I got married because that was the only way I could immigrate. Also, fuck yes removed from dating pool. Sure, it feels gross to defer to the territoriality of male sexuality to get out of being objectified and pursued, but it's not nearly as gross as being objectified and pursued.

Like, I would seriously wear a "I am not sexual do not sexualize me" shirt every day for the rest of my life if I knew that it would actually do what I wanted it to.

Shit, I'm not really hetero, though. ComPLETEly forgot there for a second.
 
Well, the truth is, the ratio of s to D is probably 30-1. So unless the D falls in love with you (God forbid) or you have some magic ace up your sleeve, you'll most likely be curb kicked in short order anyway. Sold down the river if you're lucky.
So hang ten, ride the wave until it tosses you in a heap on the shore, and be grateful for the experience.
Most likely, it wont last long.
 
pensivepoet said:
Well, the truth is, the ratio of s to D is probably 30-1. So unless the D falls in love with you (God forbid) or you have some magic ace up your sleeve, you'll most likely be curb kicked in short order anyway. Sold down the river if you're lucky.
So hang ten, ride the wave until it tosses you in a heap on the shore, and be grateful for the experience.
Most likely, it wont last long.
Click to expand...

I didn't realize that was the ratio as there seem to be so many Doms out there. I guess I'll just have to see what happens.....
 
SubToBe said:
I didn't realize that was the ratio as there seem to be so many Doms out there. I guess I'll just have to see what happens.....
Click to expand...

A better way of thinking about it, is that there are so many people online claiming to be dominant and/ or submissive. Which means there are plenty of fish in the kinky sea - even if it doesn't feel like it.

It's a pretty common tactic for people to identify as "dominant" online, when they really just want some cheap [as in, free] cybersex, nude pictures, or sometimes just because they think it's fun to see what they can "order" someone to do.

It's also a pretty common tactic for someone to identify as "submissive" online, because they really just want some cheap [as in, free] cybersex, escape from day to day responsibilities, or sometimes just because they think it's fun to see what someone might "order" them to do.

In the end, remember...

Internet_dog.jpg
 
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CutieMouse said:
A better way of thinking about it, is that there are so many people online claiming to be dominant and/ or submissive. Which means there are plenty of fish in the kinky sea - even if it doesn't feel like it.

It's a pretty common tactic for people to identify as "dominant" online, when they really just want some cheap [as in, free] cybersex, nude pictures, or sometimes just because they think it's fun to see what they can "order" someone to do.

It's also a pretty common tactic for someone to identify as "submissive" online, because they really just want some cheap [as in, free] cybersex, escape from day to day responsibilities, or sometimes just because they think it's fun to see what someone might "order" them to do.

In the end, remember...

Internet_dog.jpg
Click to expand...

Love it but can I be a Bat.

But you are right to many people just want wank bank picture's. The trick I guess is the same in real life "Don't give up the goodies untill you know its someone who is worth it" so far I have only had 3 Submissive partners and I miss eatch of them.

One was my ex who I grew apart from with age , we got together young, the next was a lovely lady who I like to think I helped learn to love her body. She latter married and now has kids. The last was a pure online relationship she eventually met someone, we still stayed in touch for ages after but he was very jealous of me so I cut her off. Feel bad about it but it was the only way she could move on with her life.
 
SubToBe said:
Hi Everyone,
I just have a general question regarding online D/s relationships? Is it common for a Dom to have more than one/several online subs? I don't have a ton of experience but am just wondering if this should be a red flag or if it is acceptable? On the flip side, what about subs having more than one online Dom?[/QUOT

Don't even go there. Be the dom and take all you can get and give nothing in return.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
Good points about fakes n flakes.
I'm willing to bet many of them are jr high boys locked in their rooms, wankin away the afternoon.
 
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