Distance Domination-Support Thread

minx1 said:

Was it comfortable; were there awkward moments....or did you just fall into a routine naturally?

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I was amazed at how immediately natural it was. From the moment I saw her come through the gate at the airport every uncertainty was erased. We ended up with a 3 hour ride from the airpot to my apartment (traffic), which could have been annoying, but just ended up making it more comfortable.

Do you regret anything about that meeting...other than it wasnt long enough?! lol

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We were together for a week and I will always yearn for more time to be with her, but other than that it was perfect.

For those of you who either had their pyl/PYL to stay at theirs or stayed with them, did that part worry you from a safety point of view?

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She came to stay with me for a visit 5 months after we first met online. And my only thought about "safety" was "Hm, should I be worried that I am not worried about safety?"

What about the what if's lol that I am sure everyone goes through....what if you didnt gel, what if you wanted him/her to leave., what if it was the longest week of your life....?! Thanks guys

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Before she actually got here, I was quite worried we wouldn't gel ... and standing in the airport waiting for her I just kept thinking "what if one of us is disappointed?" But once I saw her and then kissed her and felt her arms around me, every doubt and worry was gone. I had been worried that the intimacy and closeness we felt would take a few steps back when we were together physically (that it would take a bit of time to get back to that level of connection). But it didn't. We were instantly at the same level of intimacy.

minx1 said:

No thankyou all!

I love hearing about those first times and even though I know ES's and wenchies I still love hearing them again....more, more more!!!!


I never spent the amount of time you guys have at that first meeting and I think for various reasons thats whats interesting me now....the transition from an ldr to being thrown together for a length of time.
Was it comfortable; were there awkward moments....or did you just fall into a routine naturally?

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I had my typical shyness, but I still do that with people I've had face to face interactions with for years. We both commented on how strange it was that there wasn't that adjustment period. It really was just like we'd lived together all of our lives and this was just some grand holiday where we didn't have to work. *giggles*

Do you regret anything about that meeting...other than it wasnt long enough?! lol

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Not one thing.

For those of you who either had their pyl/PYL to stay at theirs or stayed with them, did that part worry you from a safety point of view?

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I didn't have a single fear. My mom was worried out of her mind. I remember that causing a fight between her and me. She wanted Jounar's parent's phone number, I didn't see a reason to give it to her, as she had the hotel number and his cell, but she insisted. I compromised and told her i would ask for it, but I wasn't pushing the subject. He like me didn't see a reason to give it out. She still is upset that I didn't insist on it. I did to my typical safety steps, telling every one where I was going, my core had his picture my itenerary and his phone number, I checked in with my mom every day, but that was all to keep them apeased. I never once thought of doing anything for my own safety.

What about the what if's lol that I am sure everyone goes through....what if you didnt gel, what if you wanted him/her to leave., what if it was the longest week of your life....?!

Thanks guys

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I never worried that I wouldn't like him, that things would be different, I worried that he wouldn't like me. And it turned out he had the same fear. *giggles* As we got towards the end of the trip, he asked me what I thought and admitted that he wanted every detail to be as close to perfect as he could manage. And it was, for both of us. And it was the longest week of my life, but in the best way ever. Time just seemed to stand still for us.

I thought I'd pop in just to tell you guys that I've absolutely loved reading about how you've met for the first time.

My relationship started with us living in the same city, so the story isn't nearly as romantig as yours have been. Later we moved apart, but spent most of the weekends and vacations together, and now since May we've been living together. In a couple of weeks I'll move to another country for some time to do research for my thesis, but that's the last time we'll have to be apart.

Thanks for asking the questions, minx!

minx1 said:

No thankyou all!

I love hearing about those first times and even though I know ES's and wenchies I still love hearing them again....more, more more!!!!

I recall my own and the nerves and that first instance when you are toes to toe and really look the person in the eyes for the first time. I remember studying his face, taking it all in...absorbing every feature, every line and whisker.

Lol it even makes me nervous to think of it.

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I was sitting at the bar of the hotel waiting for him. His cellphone had problems and every time I called him to tell him I was there it went straight to voice mail. So I had another drink. When I finally got a hold of him and he came in I stood up, wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. The table of guys who were behind me the whole time got real quiet. Mix the interracial aspect, with the age difference, and the way I was dressed and I am sure their imaginations were running.

I never spent the amount of time you guys have at that first meeting and I think for various reasons thats whats interesting me now....the transition from an ldr to being thrown together for a length of time.
Was it comfortable; were there awkward moments....or did you just fall into a routine naturally?

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That first meeting we did little else then fuck and play. We barely stopped to eat. There wasn't any time for routines to set in. No real awkward moments. Except for the first time he walked in on me while I was peeing and he informed me that I was never to lock the bathroom door.

Do you regret anything about that meeting...other than it wasnt long enough?! lol

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This will sound unromantic but the morning after, once we had finally finished in bed, we showered together and got dressed. He was taking a while to pack up his stuff. We were chatting and I even flashed a group of people out having a smoke in the parking lot a couple floor below us. But I wanted to get out of there. I was getting really antsy.

I'm not sure if it was because the night before had been so eventful or maybe the intense pain from the caning on my ass, or that I was a little late getting back to my husband but I couldn't wait to get out of there.

The hour drive back to my husband I felt so conflicted. I knew I loved Daddy, I had really enjoyed the night before, the sex was out of this world, but something felt off. Think back now I think it may have been because this is the only D/s relationship I have ever had. That first night I was a submissive virgin. I was scared of what submission really meant.

I traveled over the next week visiting extended family with my family. He and I chatted whenever possible during the week. Before flying back home a week after our first meeting my family stayed at a hotel near the airport. Daddy came to visit me and we got to spend a few hours with each other reconnecting and playing again. I really needed that. It made me feel much better.

For those of you who either had their pyl/PYL to stay at theirs or stayed with them, did that part worry you from a safety point of view?

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Daddy stayed with me in my house earlier this year while hubby and the kids were away. It was without a doubt the best visit we have ever had. i wish we could do it more often.

What about the what if's lol that I am sure everyone goes through....what if you didnt gel, what if you wanted him/her to leave., what if it was the longest week of your life....?!

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I went into a total panic the week before seeing him. I kept thinking that I was crazy to meet some guy off the internet in a hotel room and allow him to do anything he wanted to me. I was also afraid I wouldn't be able to take him anally (he has substantial girth). He was very compassionate and comforting.

I also went with the mindset that it was just for one night and if we didn't need to be perfect together for it to be fun. Also as a submissive all I had to do was obey. I didn't have to plan anything or worry about what to do. He would tell me and I would obey. It seemed to work

Thanks guys

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My pleasure! I am enjoying the answers everyone is giving.

I have not been on lit in a while and i stumbled upon this thread. Thank you so much for this. Online/distance Dom/Sub relationships can be difficult but very rewarding. I look forward to reading more with regard to the product you are trying to develop. I am a sub with a lot of questions about how the online relationship works for others.

Rereading about my visit made me remember how we ended up at St Patrick's Cathidral.

We were walking from his parent's place to a bus stop, heading back to the hotel. As we were walking I noticed the incredible building. I nearly stopped walking altogether, and he didn't notice until he was nearly dragging me by my hand. Then he stopped. He must have seen the wonder and awe in my eyes because he looked down at me and said "Would you like to go in?"

I must have sounded like a complete idiot as my eyes started to glow, my face light up like a christmas tree and I looked up at him and said "We can go IN?"

He chuckled and said "come on" and we walked across the street and into the building.

I had to have looked like a child discovering her fingers for the first time. I was over run by emotion, by awe and wonder. I was blown away by the magnificance of it all. I stared motionless at the stain glass for so long he had to come over and ask me what I was thinking. I gushed telling him I'd never seen actual stained glass before, and it all was just so overwhelmingly beautiful.

I think it really made him think about the things he takes for granted. I passes that church nearly every day, and barely notices it. To me, it was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. I also think he really enjoyed watching me discover his culture. He chuckled at me a lot. *giggles*

Loving all these posts!

ok how about....

the first time you realised you loved your PYL/pyl

the first time you said it...at what point in your relationship/where.

minx1 said:

Loving all these posts!

ok how about....

the first time you realised you loved your PYL/pyl

the first time you said it...at what point in your relationship/where.

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*giggles*

Jounar and I met here, on my pic thread. He used to be a loyal visitor and posted on my thread more frequantly than he tends to do on others (with a couple of exceptions of course). We flirted back and forth on my thread for a few weeks, missing each other because of the time difference. One night we were on at the same time and flirting back and forth. Then I sent him a PM, and was shocked that I had one in return as soon as I clicked the next page! Turned out, he had sent me one at the very same moment I had sent one to him. *giggles* That night we decided to move to YIM.

After two or three weeks I noticed that I was rushing home to catch him online. I was planning my whole day around our chats. My heart would flutter as I sat online and waited for him to pop on.

September 23, 2005 he asked me to be his sub, and I agreed. We stayed up all night on YIM. We even used two way voice and video. *giggles* It was the first time I had ever seen his face or heard his voice. I knew I was inlove at that moment.

It wasn't for another 3 months before we actually said "I love you". And I mean actually said it. Before that we just sent little heart emoticons. But that night, on the phone, adjusting my contract, he said "baby you're a star. I love you." And I melted. *giggles* I still melt every time I hear his voice. I'm not sure I'll ever adjust to it, and I hope I don't.

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tobecollared said:

did read somewhere here on Lit, some say it is much harder after physically being with that person. Is it? Ohhhhh how will I ever handle it???!!! I am already so lonely for Him that it hurts.

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I was deeply depressed for 2 months after visiting. I'm not sure if it gets easier with more frequent visits or not. I supose we each just find our way.

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the captians wench said:

I was deeply depressed for 2 months after visiting. I'm not sure if it gets easier with more frequent visits or not. I supose we each just find our way.

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I'm finding that leaving gets easier and easier....and at this point staying with my boy is going to be more of a life change than one would expect after dating for 3 years 9_9 But most of that time has been spent apart...

However, in my situation, we started this way, so it is a little easier. If one starts as a "together" couple, I can understand how it'd be a LOT more difficult to adapt.

bhndblueyes88 said:

I'm finding that leaving gets easier and easier....and at this point staying with my boy is going to be more of a life change than one would expect after dating for 3 years 9_9 But most of that time has been spent apart...

However, in my situation, we started this way, so it is a little easier. If one starts as a "together" couple, I can understand how it'd be a LOT more difficult to adapt.

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Well, you both have to understand I've only had the one visit in all 6 years, so my experience with leaving is extremely limited.

the captians wench said:

Well, you both have to understand I've only had the one visit in all 6 years, so my experience with leaving is extremely limited.

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*wince* Yah I can see how that would be pretty painful

speaking of which

*whimper* *mope*

I have been reading through all of the conversations and have found some really valuable info. Thank you. I am a new sub and learning with every lesson I am given. I enjoyed reading some of the posts that described the need for attention from your Masters. I now do not feel like there is something wrong with me. Thank you for starting this thread.

Reading about how hard it is to meet and then have to part from each other has made me think about my long distance D's relationships. I've only ever had one relationship that allowed us to actually meet and be together and breathe the same air. It was never easy to part after sharing such deep intimacy but having that experience was definitely something that made our whole relationship much more meaningful and satisfying. For us it did become easier because we were reasonably sure that we would be able to meet again. However the last time we met was incredibly hard because she was moving very far away and we both knew that it was likely that we would never see each other again.

During my last long distance relationship which lasted more than 18 months we often talked about finally meeting and whether it would make things easier or harder. We lived 4,000 miles apart and yet could feel each other so close. In my mind it would have been the most beautiful and amazing experience that either one of us had ever had in our lives. Yes it would have been extremely difficult to handle if we knew that it might never happen again but it would have made our bond even stronger and made those times apart somewhat easier. Now that we are parted I wish with all my heart and soul that we would have been able to meet and take our love to that highest of possible levels and made memories that would be so very real and with us always.

Being able to talk on the phone or see each other on webcam has helped me to experience a few amazing relationships with women that I've never been able to meet in real life. We both knew in the beginning that the circumstances of our lives would never allow us to have a 24/7 D's relationship but agreed that we would make the very best of what we could have together and meet if possible. Unfortunately not being able to meet and never being able to hold, kiss, or touch each other in real life always seems to eventurally lead to a point where it slowly but surely causes the relationship to weaken and fall apart.

Whether it's better to meet or not to meet is something that will be different for each of us but for me I would rather meet the woman of my dreams and hold her as we share all of the most intimate thrills with each other than to not meet because having to part would be so difficult. Of course being able to take a long distance D's relationship to 24/7 is the ultimate solution to being apart but it's something that many of us will never be able to have.

My advice would be to let yourself go as fully and completely as you can and cherish every minute that the two of you can have together. For life is too short and uncertain and we don't always get a second chance...

Since it is _Fetlife Official_ I figure I may as well make it Lit official, too. My Daddy has a submissive girlfriend. She lives significantly closer to him which is a little hard for me, but I'm ok.

It's been an adjustment but she is really a wonderful person. She is sane, funny, beautiful and best of all she cares about his happiness very much.

I know he loves me and our relationship will always be strong so I am looking at this development as an opportunity to expand our relationship and grow even closer.

ecstaticsub said:

Since it is _Fetlife Official_ I figure I may as well make it Lit official, too. My Daddy has a submissive girlfriend. She lives significantly closer to him which is a little hard for me, but I'm ok.

It's been an adjustment but she is really a wonderful person. She is sane, funny, beautiful and best of all she cares about his happiness very much.

I know he loves me and our relationship will always be strong so I am looking at this development as an opportunity to expand our relationship and grow even closer.

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*huggles*

the captians wench said:

*huggles*

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Thanks my friend. So far it seems to be working for us. So I have no complaints., it is just an adjustment.

ecstaticsub said:

Since it is _Fetlife Official_ I figure I may as well make it Lit official, too. My Daddy has a submissive girlfriend. She lives significantly closer to him which is a little hard for me, but I'm ok.

It's been an adjustment but she is really a wonderful person. She is sane, funny, beautiful and best of all she cares about his happiness very much.

I know he loves me and our relationship will always be strong so I am looking at this development as an opportunity to expand our relationship and grow even closer.

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I know that if anyone can make this a success the two of you can chick. You have such a strong bond. I wish you the best and hope you enjoy where it takes the two of you.

On another note, thanks everyone for sharing their stories about their first meetings....I did have an MO. lol
It's been so long since my own LDR and first meeting and in recent time I have found myself in another

minx1 said:

I'm nervous, excited, terrified and immensely happy. I am so looking forward to spending some time together. It feels right...it actually feel very normal. As he points out to me it just feels like he has been away for a while and now he is coming back home.

Thanks for your stories....they made me feel less nervous and much more excited instead!

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This is exactly how we felt once I got there. We just fell in naturally. I even adjusted to the time change in less than 24 hours and we thought for certain that would take a couple of days! *giggles* I was even speaking with a bit of an accent and using their dialect by midway through. It sounded like I had spent years there rather than days.

the captians wench said:

This is exactly how we felt once I got there. We just fell in naturally. I even adjusted to the time change in less than 24 hours and we thought for certain that would take a couple of days! *giggles* I was even speaking with a bit of an accent and using their dialect by midway through. It sounded like I had spent years there rather than days.

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This is definitely what I am hoping for wenchie and I'm pretty sure it is exactly how it will be.

Distance domination didnt last long

What was initially supposed to be a cyber only relationship soon turned to calls and then a mutual need to meet. Lucky for us we are not too far apart so we can make it work. It has proven to be the very best sex I have ever had.

minx1 said:

I know that if anyone can make this a success the two of you can chick. You have such a strong bond. I wish you the best and hope you enjoy where it takes the two of you.

On another note, thanks everyone for sharing their stories about their first meetings....I did have an MO. lol
It's been so long since my own LDR and first meeting and in recent time I have found myself in another

Yeah I know......I keep getting back on that horse eh. I swear I've got bandy legs from the amounts of times I've got back on

Anyway, yes I am in another LDR with a very special person and am due to meet him in a little under three weeks. He currently lives in another country and will be coming to visit for a week or so.

I'm nervous, excited, terrified and immensely happy. I am so looking forward to spending some time together. It feels right...it actually feel very normal. As he often points out to me, it just feels like he has been away for a while and now he is coming back home.

Thanks for your stories....they made me feel less nervous and much more excited instead!

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Thanks sweetie, it can be a bit of a roller coaster but it going well.

Congratulations on your new LDR!! Enjoy the anticipation!