Bits and pieces

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My head hurts

There is a serrated type feel about it
But a dull serrated type feel
As if someone was trying to hack my head off with one of those dual purpose butter knives one finds at a small town supper club Friday night buffet.


But the weather is nice
For the most part

I mean the sun is out
And there's actually some heat behind the light that it is emitting

But the air is still cold and there's a slight breeze

In an attempt to quell some of this discomfort in my head
I stopped at Starbucks and got myself a cappuccino
On my way out the door a blonde woman just shy of my age was on her way in
The jeans she had on were tight and strategically ripped along the front of the thighs.

She was occupied with her cellphone
I wasn't even a nonentity in her world
You know, one of those background people you pay no attention to at the store
Yet understand that they are there, filling up the space you are unable to do so yourself in the epic movie that is your life.

I wasn't even that to her
I failed to get the callback to be an extra

Nevertheless
She got a bit part in my movie

She fit the role perfectly too
Hopefully she's able to get better parts in some other movie later on in her life.
 
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The slaughter of stop

The slaughter of stop happens when it starts to hurt
Soundlessly in your mind
The feeling you feel when you are unsure of pain or pleasure

It happens when your head is pulled backward by your hair
When your face is pressed so deep into the pillow that the next breath you breath is a blessing

The slaughter of stop happens when you find your wrists pinned to the mattress by hands with a grasp you get lost in

It happens in the kiss your lips want to feel
But don't

It happens in the clothes you want off
But aren't

It happens it the cock you want inside you
But isn't

The slaughter of stop is what you feel when you fear what you feel for what you are feeling is something you shouldn't feel but want to feel it all the more

It's that something that slowly wells up inside you in an imperfect broken kind of way and pleads for you to slaughter it, freeing you to lay waste to what keeps you from being the slut you long to be--just for one goddamn pure moment in your life.
 
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The slaughter of stop happens when it starts to hurt
Soundlessly in your mind
The feeling you feel when you are unsure of pain or pleasure

It happens when your head is pulled backward by your hair
When your face is pressed so deep into the pillow that the next breath you breath is a blessing

The slaughter of stop happens when you find your wrists pinned to the mattress by hands with a grasp you get lost in

It happens in the kiss your lips want to feel
But don't

It happens in the clothes you want off
But aren't

It happens it the cock you want inside you
But isn't

The slaughter of stop is what you feel when you fear what you feel for what you are feeling is something you shouldn't feel but want to feel it all the more

It's that something that slowly wells up inside you in an imperfect broken kind of way and pleads for you to slaughter it, freeing you to lay waste to what keeps you from being the slut you long to be--just for one goddamn pure moment in your life.

This is absolutely beautiful.
 
Friendly reminder
Of lost thoughts
Found forgotten
 

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I wish I could touch you hard...

With the kind of thrust
That throws you back into the seat

Not a fast kind of thrust
But a hard kind of thrust

The kind with purpose

The kind I feel
When your fuel
Feeds me.
 

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Behind your ear

Sliding down

The side of your neck
Your face

I can still feel your wrists in my hands



I want to feel other parts of you like that.
 
Doughnuts for breakfast...

ice cream for supper
Doritos in between.

Now you fuckers know why I'm not posting pics of my sweet sweet abs anymore.
 
Seems like a balanced diet of carbs from the doughnuts, protein in the milk and vegetables in the corn chip.
 
When you know that someone

When you know that someone you didn't know that you would

And come to love them in such a way that feels
Like the rings of a tree

How they compress together
More and more towards the center

And each time that Time has to separate you
That pressure in the center of you
The compression of instantaneous longing
The crushing heat of it
Creating another ring
Another memory
Another want to be internalized.
 
His father died before his time. "You're a man now," the village people told him.

"If being broken-hearted is a man," he replied from his despair, "then, yes, I suppose I'm a man."
 
Well that was a nice goddamn nap
Apparently ice cream isn't enough to keep you fucking satiated through the night.


Fuck... that was a good sleep too.
Now how am I to get back asleep?

fml.
 
Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That's its balance.” ―
~ Osho, Everyday Osho: 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now
 
Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That's its balance.” ―
~ Osho, Everyday Osho: 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now

So very true.
 
I have this one pair of underwear...
 

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