The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a free membership in Literotica.

I put in a Pink Lady...

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MagicaPractica said:

and get a picture of an old time pin up girl, creamy skin with red hair done up and a very pink undergarment.

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Tio_Narratore said:

Nice item to get back. Thanks Magica, but you did forget to put something in...

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Handley_Page said:

Bored with waiting for the issue by Practical Magic, I venture to put in a red rose

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SailorJerry said:

and the aliens come off of life support..... they appreciate the 'breakfast' you put in for them.

I put in a starry night, at the end of a Bedouin caravan.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a Post-Impressionist ear.

I put in Le Sacre de Printemps performed by a one-woman band...

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Handley_Page said:

what you get is "The female eunuch" told in the medium of dance.


I put in a fully symphony orchestra

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YoursSINSerely said:

and, I pull a few strings to get what I really want.

I put in a tape recording.

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SailorJerry said:

but the Judge won't allow it as evidence.

I put in an old VHS tape of a wedding, but if you watch it til the end, you get to see five minutes of what it recorded over...

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YoursSINSerely said:

and, it reveals the groom's sex scene with his last girlfriend, the bride's sister.

I put in a decent size piece of wedding cake.

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Handley_Page said:

and discover you are allergic to the nuts in it.


I put in a new keyboard. . . .

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Tio_Narratore said:

(Btw, HP, American wedding cakes do not have nuts; they follow the Italian tiered whipped-cream custom, not the British fruitcake version.)

and it only plays in A-major.

I put in an air on a G-string...

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kimbalee said:

and the pole dancer you swiped it from has a very mean look on her face.

I put in a case of Cutie clementines...

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Tio_Narratore said:

and get back the real Marocs.

I put in a whole citrus salad...

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YoursSINSerely said:

And, we enjoy it out on the veranda.

I put in a moonlit skinny dip in the pool out beyond the veranda.

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Handley_Page said:

and in the morning discover a moon-tan you never knew could happen.


I put in a hot cross bun

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kimbalee said:

... and the baker wants to know what happened to the other 11.

I put in a gold cross necklace...

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a speech by William Jennings Bryant.

I put in a rebutal by Clarence Darrow...

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Handley_Page said:

and you get a Very Attentive jury. . . . .


I put in an Acquittal

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a re-trial since there's no double-jeopardy rule in Canada (Alex Trebek aside).

I put in an incompetent Crown Prosecutor...

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SailorJerry said:

and you get a competent Crown Prince (might need to wait a generation, though).

I put in a royal fox hunt.

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Austin8 said:

and we end up in a swanky bar, loaded with foxes!

I put in a hot red head. (of the female Homosapien variety)

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YoursSINSerely said:

and, you end up on the set of the Desperate Housewives.

I put in a hot bald guy in uniform.

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SailorJerry said:

And Yule Brenner never looked so good !

I put in a cheeky monkey.

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YoursSINSerely said:

And, oh I have special memories of that tongue.

I put in two lips, or tulips--your choice.

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Oh, I'm an Iris man, myself.