Feedback on The Garage Sale Edited

Wow, this is my third story that I have submitted and I didn't expect all these personal attacks! Why do people bother to post stories here? As soon as the edited version is posted you will notice that this is a complete rewrite with a different feel to it. I hope you like this one better. I have to admit that I seem to have a lot of power over people to get them riled up. It kind of feels like I have seduced them!

dalton_rick said:

Wow, this is my third story that I have submitted and I didn't expect all these personal attacks! Why do people bother to post stories here? As soon as the edited version is posted you will notice that this is a complete rewrite with a different feel to it. I hope you like this one better. I have to admit that I seem to have a lot of power over people to get them riled up. It kind of feels like I have seduced them!

Click to expand...

You will get more response if you post a link to your story.

I tried reading it, but it didn't hold my interest. I didn't get more than about 1/3 of the way through. From my perspective it might have helped if you had developed Lori's character early in the story.

Your story is in Loving Wives, so you have to expect some rough comments. The comments you have don't seem at all that bad, unless you already removed the death threats and such.

As NotWise said, when you post in Loving Wives, you need to be ready for the attacks. It's not my genre of choice, but I do know that you get a lot of people who seem to hate-read (to say the least).

So what you have here is a woman who cheats on her husband, and a husband who likes it. Those are two things that get a lot of LW readers riled up and when they comment they don't hold back.

For the actual story, there's not much there. The husband seems like a jerk who cares more about his wife's measurements than her. The wife is... nothing. A fantasy I guess, and nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't make for a very interesting read. And as a commenter pointed out, for a best friend, Billy has no trouble betraying his friend. There were also a lot of punctuation errors although I doubt too many of the readers cared about that.

As seems to be the case in the LW stories I have read and read about no one here is particularly likable or sympathetic. That may or may not matter to the readers, many of whom likely have their mind made up about the story before they even start reading.

So now you know with LW -- you need a thick skin.

I have already deleted most of the nastier ones.

I extensively edited it. Unfortunately I can't post a link to it because my new version has been pending for many days.