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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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graceanne said:
No. *sigh* I guess I'm just not masochistic enough.
Click to expand...

Damn...try reading it again, this time all the way through then read it backwards. Is that too sadistic on my part? :D

If you drop too far I'll talk you back up.
 
You could always type him a normal response, run it through the translators on the web a few times (English - German - French (etc) - English) and send it to him. That ought to be pretty garbled. Though in the first sentence eddie seems to be a woman, from what the girls say.
Hmm.

Edited to add, no they call him a women.
 
Joe Schmoe said:
Damn...try reading it again, this time all the way through then read it backwards. Is that too sadistic on my part? :D

If you drop too far I'll talk you back up.
Click to expand...

Oh, gee. How sweet of you. :rolleyes:

That's ok - if i want to subspace, I'll just tell K to fuck off. :eek:
 
Joe Schmoe said:
I said subspace not traction. Silly goose.
Click to expand...

Ah yes, the difference being one I get a chemical high and the other I get a endorphin high.
 
So I got online this morning to find an offline. It was from this guy i've chatted with a few times (and I made it clear I don't cyber).

It said:

Help


Help


Help me, I'M HORNY!
 
graceanne said:
So I got online this morning to find an offline. It was from this guy i've chatted with a few times (and I made it clear I don't cyber).

It said:

Help


Help


Help me, I'M HORNY!
Click to expand...

Try a brick up side the head. Some might get the message then..oh yeah I forgot...make sure your note is tied to it first.
 
graceanne said:
So I got online this morning to find an offline. It was from this guy i've chatted with a few times (and I made it clear I don't cyber).

It said:

Help


Help


Help me, I'M HORNY!
Click to expand...

Maybe it was the way you worded it. Did you perchance say..I don't fucking cyber.

He might have just zeroed in on 'fucking' and mistook you.

Just a guess.
 
Joe Schmoe said:
Maybe it was the way you worded it. Did you perchance say..I don't fucking cyber.

He might have just zeroed in on 'fucking' and mistook you.

Just a guess.
Click to expand...

Are you saying I might be a potty mouth? I resemble that remark.

But no, I didn't cuss. He's just an idiot. And now he's an idiot on ignore. He's just lucky that I found it before my daughter did, cause if I had to explain to her what 'horny' meant I'd have been seriously ticked.

I bet he doesn't even know how close to having a new asshole he was.
 
Joe Schmoe said:
Just how masochistic are you? I didn't even get past the first line because it was beyond my threshold.
Click to expand...

Did you expect me to be acquiescent to Eddie Da Dom's testimonial of coital savoir faire ?

Okay ........laughs....You caught me out I might be a petite bit on the masochistic side :D
 
graceanne said:
Are you saying I might be a potty mouth? I resemble that remark.

But no, I didn't cuss. He's just an idiot. And now he's an idiot on ignore. He's just lucky that I found it before my daughter did, cause if I had to explain to her what 'horny' meant I'd have been seriously ticked.

I bet he doesn't even know how close to having a new asshole he was.
Click to expand...

Just call me the Tidy Bowl man :D

Some just do not want to get it and for the life of me I just don't get it. (ok now that sounded weird...I hope you know what I mean)

Its the vibes girl...you're just a sexy beast and men cannot resist you. :D

Seriously though. It looks like you lost nothing of worth by him if he cannot respect your wishes. Some idiots just don't give a shit nor care about the consequences. I see he didn't take his freindship with you very seriously. Just another fool. His loss.
 
brioche said:
You could always type him a normal response, run it through the translators on the web a few times (English - German - French (etc) - English) and send it to him. That ought to be pretty garbled. Though in the first sentence eddie seems to be a woman, from what the girls say.
Hmm.

Edited to add, no they call him a women.
Click to expand...

Brioche I can 'feel' a respond to Eddie Da Dom Contest coming on here ;)
 
BIG turn off when people write like that.

NEXT Asshat please!

*L*

Fury :rose:
 
Joe Schmoe said:
Just call me the Tidy Bowl man :D

Some just do not want to get it and for the life of me I just don't get it. (ok now that sounded weird...I hope you know what I mean)

Its the vibes girl...you're just a sexy beast and men cannot resist you. :D

Seriously though. It looks like you lost nothing of worth by him if he cannot respect your wishes. Some idiots just don't give a shit nor care about the consequences. I see he didn't take his freindship with you very seriously. Just another fool. His loss.
Click to expand...

I wasn't real worried about it. We'd only talked a few times, and they were like in depth soul conversations. I had a feeling he was gonna end up on ignore.
 
Been speaking to someone on the net for over a year.
He always wants to meet and always wants me to turn my cam on :rolleyes:

Our conversations are dull, with my line consisting of 'no, no, no,'

I told I had met this gorgeous, sexy Danish Dom and have spoken to him about once a month since then.

Had this conversation a couple of weeks ago:

He says:
Hello little one
shy slave says:
hi
He says:
I've just got in from Uni
(edit for personal stuff)
He says:
my girlfiend has had a bad year
He says:
I still want you though
shy slave says:
Hmmm only because i keep saying no!
He says:
you never know.... one day you may say yes
shy slave says: Have you forgotten about the Danish guy??
He says:
so your still in lust then?
shy slave says:
:D
He says:
I might ask him if I can borrow you
shy slave says:
well you can ask! I have no idea what he would say lol
he says:
how do I get in contact with him?
Shy slave says:
I can give you his email, but need to check with him thats ok. He should be back in a few minutes will ask him then
He says:
ask him if I can borrow you....... will be down in 2 weeks for work
shy slave says:
no, if he is agreeable I will give you his email and you can ask him yourself
He says:
you being a chicken??
shy slave says:
nope, just not being 'middle man' its up to him, he owns me and thats what I want...for him to own me
he says:
ok
______

Gave him Andantes email, but he has yet to hear from him.
Have seen him online and I asked him if he had emailed Andante.

His response 'No, I have been busy'

I cant understand it, wonder if he thought Andante was a figment of my imagination LOL

Hmm theres a thought, maybe he is!
 
shy slave said:
I cant understand it, wonder if he thought Andante was a figment of my imagination LOL

Hmm theres a thought, maybe he is!
Click to expand...

Wow. Sexy accent for a figment of your imagination.
 
I talked to soon when I said I don't get a lot of morons emailing and PMing me.

Today I got a PM from someone or the other. First of all he couldn't remember who I was or where he'd seen me. I refrained from asking if he generally adds people to his IM list when he doesn't know who they are. Then we had hte normal conversation we have when someone who's looking to cyber PM's me. I clearly told him I don't cyber, and I'm owned, etc. So he was like 'well I don't want to cyber, I want you to serve me sexually'. :rolleyes: I didn't answer him, so he asked 'what do you think about that'. All I said was 'no'. Then he was like 'well then you're not what i'm looking for'. I TOLD HIM THAT! GRR

Then i said bye, he said bye, and I thought the conversation was over.

But a few seconds later he PM's me asking if I wear panties. Then he wants me to take a pair of my panties, masturbate in them, and mail them to him. THEN he gets cranky when I say no. Says 'Sorry, I can't do anything with you.'

WELL, DUH!
 
graceanne said:
I talked to soon when I said I don't get a lot of morons emailing and PMing me.

Today I got a PM from someone or the other. First of all he couldn't remember who I was or where he'd seen me. I refrained from asking if he generally adds people to his IM list when he doesn't know who they are. Then we had hte normal conversation we have when someone who's looking to cyber PM's me. I clearly told him I don't cyber, and I'm owned, etc. So he was like 'well I don't want to cyber, I want you to serve me sexually'. :rolleyes: I didn't answer him, so he asked 'what do you think about that'. All I said was 'no'. Then he was like 'well then you're not what i'm looking for'. I TOLD HIM THAT! GRR

Then i said bye, he said bye, and I thought the conversation was over.

But a few seconds later he PM's me asking if I wear panties. Then he wants me to take a pair of my panties, masturbate in them, and mail them to him. THEN he gets cranky when I say no. Says 'Sorry, I can't do anything with you.'

WELL, DUH!
Click to expand...

Oh my !!! laughs nervously graceanne where do these freaks come from ? Planet Asshat seems to be alot closer to Earth with each passing Year. I think someone better alert the Government......... :rose:
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
Oh my !!! laughs nervously graceanne where do these freaks come from ? Planet Asshat seems to be alot closer to Earth with each passing Year. I think someone better alert the Government......... :rose:
Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure he found me here on lit - I hope he reads this thread. :rolleyes:
 
shy slave said:
Been speaking to someone on the net for over a year.
He always wants to meet and always wants me to turn my cam on :rolleyes:

Our conversations are dull, with my line consisting of 'no, no, no,'

I told I had met this gorgeous, sexy Danish Dom and have spoken to him about once a month since then.

Had this conversation a couple of weeks ago:

He says:
Hello little one
shy slave says:
hi
He says:
I've just got in from Uni
(edit for personal stuff)
He says:
my girlfiend has had a bad year
He says:
I still want you though
shy slave says:
Hmmm only because i keep saying no!
He says:
you never know.... one day you may say yes
shy slave says: Have you forgotten about the Danish guy??
He says:
so your still in lust then?
shy slave says:
:D
He says:
I might ask him if I can borrow you
shy slave says:
well you can ask! I have no idea what he would say lol
he says:
how do I get in contact with him?
Shy slave says:
I can give you his email, but need to check with him thats ok. He should be back in a few minutes will ask him then
He says:
ask him if I can borrow you....... will be down in 2 weeks for work
shy slave says:
no, if he is agreeable I will give you his email and you can ask him yourself
He says:
you being a chicken??
shy slave says:
nope, just not being 'middle man' its up to him, he owns me and thats what I want...for him to own me
he says:
ok
______

Gave him Andantes email, but he has yet to hear from him.
Have seen him online and I asked him if he had emailed Andante.

His response 'No, I have been busy'

I cant understand it, wonder if he thought Andante was a figment of my imagination LOL

Hmm theres a thought, maybe he is!
Click to expand...

Yeh right........ because Doms are really renowned for just 'loaning' out their most treasured possesions to random strangers .NOT :D

Quote From the Australian Movie , The Castle "tell him, he's dreaming"
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
Yeh right........ because Doms are really renowned for just 'loaning' out their most treasured possesions to random strangers .NOT :D

Quote From the Australian Movie , The Castle "tell him, he's dreaming"
Click to expand...

Silly girl.

A collar makes the sub public domain and mating season is now open for all seasons.

Silly girl

:D
 
graceanne said:
I talked to soon when I said I don't get a lot of morons emailing and PMing me.

Today I got a PM from someone or the other. First of all he couldn't remember who I was or where he'd seen me. I refrained from asking if he generally adds people to his IM list when he doesn't know who they are. Then we had hte normal conversation we have when someone who's looking to cyber PM's me. I clearly told him I don't cyber, and I'm owned, etc. So he was like 'well I don't want to cyber, I want you to serve me sexually'. :rolleyes: I didn't answer him, so he asked 'what do you think about that'. All I said was 'no'. Then he was like 'well then you're not what i'm looking for'. I TOLD HIM THAT! GRR

Then i said bye, he said bye, and I thought the conversation was over.

But a few seconds later he PM's me asking if I wear panties. Then he wants me to take a pair of my panties, masturbate in them, and mail them to him. THEN he gets cranky when I say no. Says 'Sorry, I can't do anything with you.'

WELL, DUH!
Click to expand...

I told you that you were irresistable but you just would not listen.

Now let's cyber baby.
 
Joe Schmoe said:
Silly girl.

A collar makes the sub public domain and mating season is now open for all seasons.

Silly girl

:D
Click to expand...

You are sooooooooooooooo EVIL.....laughing
 
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