New Poetry Recommendations

PandoraGlitters said:

It is not anyone's turf, Twelvie, but if it were it would be mods' turf as BA comments, too. Unless you were meaning to indicate that you were taking my day in some way which would not matter to me. Comment and commend as you please. It's Rumi's field.

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10/28

i'll take the bait
That fancy talk thee and firmament make me think you're full of shit.

let's go with that
over in new poems are 3 by Demure 1 by Tzara, a funny bar poem, a funnier poem about a blow up doll, a different take on the Divine Comedy i.e. funny, two or three others, and a bare minimum of dross.
do i recommend, highly, one of the best days over there, despite the fact ms glitters got upset about the first one. so if you want, you can skip it.

reshit is hebrew for the beginning, bereshit in the beginning,
just some of the amazing shit you might learn when i show up

harry, valence refers to positive and negative so the doll was charged, or maybe oneiria was

now ms glitters i do spend a considerable time over in new poems leaving generous scores, and sometimes good tips, considerably more than most, i wish that some of the submitters would do the same, right now it looks like about 4. one is a little light weight on the comments. i'm not counting the tazzbot.

is that full of shit? "popular" reviews, recommends, horsehit, i did my time, last year you must have missed it.

Actually, I love when you've submitted something, 1201. Your work is always interesting and even when you're full of shit, it's better shit than most. I wasn't anything akin to upset, though, Mr. Number. Just poking the coals a little. Thank you for reviewing today. For those who didn't yet read http://www.literotica.com/p/the-firmament-laughs, well you simply should. Now. See what you think! Maybe I'm full of shit, just this once.

The Tale of Captain Verlund by Nervade

This is an ballad of a deal with the devil. Forced rhymes and clumsy wording trip the tongue on several lines, but worth a read.

Fallen Angel by xodarap

A pair of couplets. This is the 21st Lit poem of the same title. That should be a warning of how difficult it is to say something new on the subject.

Nimrod's Rebellion by xodarap

This piece draws on a Biblical allegory about pride and failure. It's worth a read, if only for the last stanza.

What if... by Butterflies512

A sweet reverie and a recommended read.

BBW by JaxRhapsody

This is a form of love poem known as a proposal, or the "What I'm gonna do to you." Unfortunately, this lover's suit is undone in the first line.

Rite of Spring by oneiria
A vivid image, but Oh come on!

Demure has two poems posted today. The first is bleak, but a good read.

Dead End # 3 by demure101

My Mistress' Eyes by demure101

Any Halloween hangovers, sugar withdrawals, smashed pumpkins?

Seven new pieces on show today.

Burning down the house? I like fridayam’s Fall Fell , a short, humourous free form poem about how most of us feel at this time of year.

A bird in the house! Long-Tailed Tit is a smoothly rhymed poem by demure 101. It is sad, sweet and succinct.

Elder abuse? Busy Old Fool by the same poet is very different, free-form and cryptic, it left me wondering about the inspiration. Both poems satisfy.

What doesn't kill you makes you better. Give me by arrow909 is a masochistic’s view of life, only in pain and degradation can he/she feel worthy. I don’t like the double spacing and it suffers from the old tell-instead –of-showing syndrome.

Love in the time of chaos? Superstorm Sandy : a love story by Ashesh9 is a longish staccato piece of prose about a dysfunctional couple caught up in the storm. Hard to read because of weird punctuation, line breaks and format.

Finally we have Her Kiss by gab365 known mostly for her stories. This piece is a 2 x 2 rhyming scheme lacking the required rhythm, not very memorable.

It's November already, can Christmas be far away? Save your soul, write a poem. Later.

Friday - Recommendations

As of 2pm DC time, there are four new poems. If you ask me, that is a sufficiently low number to recommend that you read them all and comment...but to ensure that I do not shirk my duties:

Good Morning by Demure101 is an easy read that makes one hope that the hands roaming under the duvet had clipped nails and were not freezing cold. I wonder this mostly because of the OW in the third line, which maybe was meant to be OH. I hope so. OW in bed is usually not good.

njoyjade has three today, all posted from Ms. Glitters' Haunted Ballad Challenge. (by the way, we all hope Ms. Glitters actually has some lights glittering around her post Sandy. Sandy was way out of line). I would urge others to post theirs (it was part of the deal) except that I really do not want to post my own. Kudos to njoy for doing her civic duty, however. Her poems are:

Ballad of Jack and Mable is a really clever tale about pumpkins. This one should be printed up in a little booklet for children if you ask me, or made into a halloween song.

Virtual Meal has great rhythm that mimics the boiling pot of ..errr...you in the poem. One imagines witches dancing about a cauldron. Remind me not to go to dinner at Njoy's house.

Who Am I? is haunted in the sense that the narrator is tortured. It was a little unclear to me whether this was a ghost speaking or someone who was about to become a ghost. The first part of the poem is more accessible than the last. Ye olde Ballad form well respected on all three- well done, Njoy.

That's it from me. Happy friday everyone.

There were twelve New Poems this weekend. Of these, I am singling out a couple of authors you should check out who both submitted more than one poem. Cut the deck again; I link to two.

Get pleasantly dizzy with the colorful images in sandyb's sensual poem naked salt. For some reason this is posted in Non-erotic poems. I found it quite erotic, personally.

Also worth reading are the series of metaphors posed by Scheherezade73's poem Useless which aptly convey the emotional state of the poet.

Hope you all enjoy the extra hour if you observe Daylight Savings (my favorite fall holiday)!

A Night on the Moors by demure101

A clever Halloween ballad by Demure.

Madness by HarryHill

There is a lot of intricate word play in this piece. Worth a read.

With Out Fear by rmwriter

Rmwriter is a new Lit poet and this is his first submission. I would call this a tender love poem, but it's not really tender at all, although she may be, by the end of the poem.

Deny Me Everything by RubenesqueAphrodite

Rubenesque is another new Lit poet, offering a first submission. I love this kind of love poem, a simple address to a lover. It's one of those times when honesty counts for a lot.

I won't forget We by MisterSade

A forlorn autobiographical soliloquy. My first thought about halfway through the page was, "Go ahead and get it out of your system," because it doesn't really get any easier, no matter how many time we go through it.

Poetry Contests by Exakta66

A lament about the rewards of writing poetry. Quite on target.

We have two poem w/audio submissions from Tristesse, today. The first as the title suggests is a list of regrets, or at least regrettables, in the form of a toast. Perhaps a farewell to the burden, or just an acknowledgement of its presence, but in either case, very well expressed.

The second is a delightful domestic scene, familiar to any man with an apron fetish.

Toasted Transgressions by Tristesse2

Hard Sell by Tristesse2

Nine new poems for you today.


Long distance domination? Dark Choice by RubenesqueAphrodite is a free-form interaction between an on-line Dom and his distant submissive. There’s enough feeling in the staccato delivery to invoke a feeling of both urgency and control. Well done.


Abused abusers abuse? Because you really expected Dad by MisterSade is a deep, dark piece. I almost feel I shouldn’t dissect it, it’s raw and personal. Just go read it.


Metromanctic? Subway Girl by xelliebabex is a rhyming piece with a few awkward spots – the last two lines of the second verse stumble after a smooth beat and in the fourth stanza……

He sits at a quiet distance
He will not speak to greet
Fears do shake his confidence........ Fears that shake his confidence
His tongue admits defeat.............. Make his tongue admit defeat.

I like, what I hope is, the sweet sentiment although it does have a whiff of “dirty old man” to it. (sorry xelliebabex)


Close-up-and-personal. my orgasm in an homage to my lover by Scheherezade73 is a graphic description of Scheherzade73’s orgasm without using the usual grosseties although it is a trifle hyperbolic in places.

Wolf at the door? White Wolf by desejo grew, I think, from Octobers challenge. It’s not my favourite from this writer, who has done far better poetry, and needs some neatening up. The third verse falters and from there on the rhythm is erratic but nothing a re-visit won’t fix.

Two things – first, accents often interfere with the transition from writer to reader, so my comments may have come from there, and second, I cannot stress how important it is to read poetry out loud to hear where the awkward lines are.


All’s well that ends well. Lost Treasures by new-to-Lit writer Dark_Destiny is a rhyming piece with some poor rhythm and forced wording. I do encourage this poet to keep writing because there are some nice nuggets here.


Shades of grey? I Love Right , MisterSade’s second submission today I found hard to read because of the blunt presentation, a list, almost, of disjointed ideas. Perhaps a re-write keeping the emotional fire? Not as successful or engaging as his first today.


More shades of grey. Resignation , the first of two by demure101 is sad and evocative. A struggle with depression and the weather doesn’t help. Nice echoing words here and there –“trouble, nothing”, “needs redressing”, “paper shades” and “come in runnels” which make this poem a keeper.


An enigma within an enigma. Demure101’s second piece Horsma, Pass By has me stumped (not hard to do) from the title – Typo? Deliberately obtuse? Google was no help – to the poem itself. It is painterly in places with some lovely imagery – the horse and rider, the cold and the deserted village. I don’t understand the reference to the javelin and, in the end it seems to be about death.

Altogether a pretty depressing collection today but only the subjects, the poetry is well worth your attention.

Friday recommendations - Nov 9

10:30 am DC time and we have 14 poems:

New poet Lunarink has two poems today: Tears for the Past is an obviously heartfelt piece about what once was and what it could have been. It's a difficult subject to do without falling into maudlin cliches, and it could have done with some pruning back and restructuring. But there probably isn't one among us who hasn't experienced the feelings expressed (often in spite of rational thought). Body Heat does a good job of incorporating multiple senses (sound, touch) and works better.

xodarap gives us My Drug of Choice The poem gets right to the point and reveals that sex is the drug in question. xodarap uses unstructured rhymes splattered here and there in the poem to tie it together.

HarryHill has one today:Another Dark Spell is a rhyming piece with a D &D feel. Being a cat person, I love the image of a dragon purring. Anything purring is good

koksur Helluva Wildcat starts and ends with a kitty. No purring however. There is more structure than usual for the poet in this piece, with some repetition and attention to layout.

theognis Unmoved is a short and wry piece which ought to give the couch potatoes something to think about. Recommended.

demure101 brings us three, all recommended: October Morning is my favorite type of demure 101 poem - nicely structured and vividly capturing the outdoors. Adieus also excellent - this time with a human element. Sonnet, right? In any case, really lovely.Imitations of Mortality is another nature based poem about Narcissus. The layout that made me want to race through the story and finally stop and catch my breath at the end.

MisterSade Dear Ms. Molly Anne makes me feel like I came across a piece of code scribbled on a piece of paper in a cafe. I have no clue what it all means, but it's intriguing. Take a look.

yygirl Second Rate Love Poem is a sweet piece. It needs some tightening up but it didn't really merit being titled second rate title.

njoyjade Golden Truth refers to too far past /the point of enough (love that) and the frustration that being truthful about different needs in a relationship can cause.

SusanJillParker Elizabeth's Heart and Soul is a moving tribute to the life of a woman.

oneira Coyote Turds is about, well, turds. Threatening, menacing turds.

There were only 6 New Poems on Saturday and Sunday. sandyb submitted two, both with engaging narratives. Of these, the one I liked most was burn.

I had to chuckle at ktfa1's DSL Blues because I fully plan to serenade my Clear puck with it later. (I can so relate! I took said puck with me to Long Island this weekend, but towers were down. *sigh*

I am a big fan of Demure's poems, but do not particularly enjoy this one as much as I usually do simply because it is more telly and less showy. Also the metre is clunkier than what I usually expect of the author's works. See if you agree or not. The subject is still quite interesting, particularly as it reveals a bit more of this somewhat mysterious author.

Oneiria's Defector is sparse, bleak, and effective. Pain in the ass that I am, I would wish for some slightly more acute diction (flesh for example) but it is a poem. Go, read, read again, then comment.

Dear reader, I hope your week begins and continues in top form. Good luck with your poeming!

D.

Failing by Dani_Blade

Dani is a new Lit poet, but has several submissions. Today's offering is a emo soliloquy. I understand the need to write this sort of thing, but it's not very entertaining or engaging without imagery.

Ode to a friend by LaRascasse

This is a sweet piece and everyone should take time to read it. It might seem to be a new cultural phenomena, but it is at its core, something at least as old as paper and pen. There was a time when a long distance friend was known as a pen pal. There are sonnets from Victorian times on the subject and they read very much like this piece. It is a human constant to need and value close friendship, even when the friend is not close.

There are two lovely descriptives offered by Demure, today. Both are a very good read.

Marshland by demure101

Sun on your back by demure101

Sorry for copping out but under the weather today.

I do want to draw everyone's attention to Mercedes Benz by Angeline, it is a tender and loving tribute to dear BooMerengue who has succumbed to cancer after a valiant fight.

Recommendations Friday Nov 16

Before proceeding to the review, I want to express my condolences for Lit denizens who are mourning the loss of fellow poet Boo Merengue. We live in a time when we can form deep friendships with real people - in virtual spaces. The difference of the friendship doesn't end with the passing of friend from the virtual world - one nice thing is that here, maybe even more than in "real life", her voice is still here. I did not know Boo, but I have read and enjoyed her work, her comments, her spirit. My top recommendation today is to read the works of BooMerengue.

These were the new poems as of 11:31 am DC time:

naughtykitten21 submits A Sexy Moment which is a rhyming poem about a sweet attack. There are some meter issues, but meatier issues make it worth a read. Oh, and it contains the word purr, so extra points for that.

SusanJillParker gives us two Susan poemsPaying by Check for Susan's Neck - which covers the attack of Ed the Fixed Leak Plumber on Ms. Susan's neck - under the sink - and above it. The second is So Sweet Susan's Hands and Feet which praises the ways which Ms. Susan's digits are adorned or unadorned in hopes of snagging a wedding ring. I don't relate to the objective - but the poem has nice rhyme and is worth looking at.

Neonurotic's Snowblind is an unusual take on winter because of the red earth. Those familiar with Neo's writing know he is in Moab, but this poem would work just as well if situated on..well, Mars. Some very strong lines. Recommended.

Butterflies512 submits Mosaic of Musings. This must be a mosaic lining a door frame, because it's narrow and long. I think the layout detracts from the poem.

MAmoureaux submits In the Realm of Love which is a 7 line poem on the energy love gives,and takes. I think. Take a look.

Oneira's holiday season submission is Rocky around the Christmas Tree which is worth looking at - notice the shape, the pun on the song, the images of this poetic decoration. Declaration, I mean.

“You” he said “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in such pain.” ~Emilie Autumn

Wish I had come up with that...

Party Girls by sisters

A fast paced descriptive of an experience familiar to many, with a clever voyeuristic twist at the end.

Bleeding Out by Dark_Destiny

This is a dark piece about a survivor of child abuse. It is written in first person and Dark Destiny includes a note to explain the poem is not autobiographical. Like most poets, she has discovered most of the world does not believe a poet can speak in character.


Cinner is a prolific Lit poet and author. We have two submissions today.
Your Potter's Hands by Cinner
This is a sweet address to a lover. Well done.
Night Time Feeding by Cinner
I believe a lot of people will stumble on this piece, but it contains an honesty and intimacy which is rarely shared with the world, and perhaps shouldn't be. Even so, I recommend the read.

Chronic Love by cavu182

The more than prolific Cavu brings us a short reminiscence of a Paris love affair. Even though the imagery is trite to the point of cliche(there must be more than one street in Paris), it is worth the read.


There are two submissions by Demure, today. Both are delightful for their vivid images and metaphors.
Wreaths by demure101

Merry-Go-Round by demure101

Taking Flight by mary_aranxia

This is Mary's first submission to Lit. The allegory is clever, but it could have been much more. Single word lines is a very difficult technique by which to convey a feeling, even though it always feels right, at the writing.

Her Pleasure by Tristesse2

A spanking poem by tristesse. I fear this subject will forever be in the "if you have to ask, you'll never understand" category. It's not easy to explain beating the one you love, who loves the beating. This poem makes a very good attempt.

These are my picks of today's new poems

Birds for all seasons. Memory of Gulls is a lovely, moody piece by demure101. I found “onyx stretch” a little tongue-twisting, perhaps replace it with “reach” to read–

…..“The onyx reach
of river turning white…..

or “length” but the repetition of the R sound is lost.


Simple pleasures rule. Collectivity also by demure101 compares solitary pleasures to those shared by groups or, more likely, mobs. It’s an interesting, even unlikely, subject for a poem but thoughtfully done. It ends on a low though, was that last line necessary?


Thatcher’s legacy? I get the feeling with Sic Transit , demure101’s final offering today , that it was rushed to submission. Mistakes like

“….and coal dust's etched in senseless patters like
a madman's wild tattoos. “ should read

“….and coal dust's etched in senseless patterns like
a madman's wild tattoos. “ I think.

Also “Nine decades on, the paint
is crusted and old hoped have changed to dirt,”

“hoped” should be “hopes”. None would be caught by spell-check but a final read-through should have. Apart from those distractions I loved it.


Love in the time of collaring. SweetOblivion has a large archive of poetry going back to 2006. Today he/she offers up A Brief Descent . In this poets’ bio gender is left neutral and orientation is listed as straight but this poem, hinting at BDSM, could be from either gender’s aspect. I like the word play with descent and dissent and the moment by moment journey through the give and take of a sexual encounter. Very spare and erotic, well done.


Assorted mix. New to Lit CobraDen has three rhyming pieces all easy to read with a good rhythm.


Look up! Attention Blink is a very brief piece by onieria, I like the imagery and the juxtaposition of mouse and world.


Happy shopping Black Friday style.

Desejo, thank you for your recommendation of my latest, and probably last, poem. Tonight is the first time I've ever checked this thread, but on learning yesterday of the death of a young man whose praise I had never acknowledged, I realized I may have been remiss about certain things here.

Friday Nov 23 Recommendations

Everttcb has submitted Obama-nazation. I'm probably the worst person in the world to review this kind of poem in terms of subject matter, not because I am rabidly for one side or the other but because the entire thing and the way in which people have reacted to it disturbs me. So I will limit my comments to some strange spelling choices (cerebral-le, A-moral and maybe Gaul with a capital G). Perhaps Mr. Everett C Borders Jr. Ph.D. has his reasons, but I don't get them.

The Best Bad Bitch by Mo_B-Dick is an ode to the divine Veronica Palmer. He loses me in the third stanza, where I think this just becomes too much a poem between two people for anyone else to comprehend and fully appreciate.

This is for (Me) also by Mo_B-Dick begins with the line...."This is for you", preceded by the comment (A gift from my partner in crime), which confused me (or you?). Once past that stumble, there are some lines in the poem that are good, and the use of rhyme is nice. Take a look at this one and see what you think.

I will check back later to see if any other poems materialize over the course of the day.

It's "Black Friday" in the US today. This is not, as one might hope, a Goth rebellion against "Casual Friday" or a tribute to a punk rock band. The day after Thanksgiving, it's the biggest shopping/sale day in America - named initially after the "black traffic jams" in Philadelphia, but also an allusion to old accounting books in which one was either in the black or in the red. Oh, and to be sure we are modern in our consumerism - we also now have Cyber Monday. I will be staying home, drinking tea - but good luck to any Americans who brave the mall battlegrounds.

Weekend, October 24-25

There were many many New Poems this weekend! I found Homecoming's confessional tone intriguing, found Coyote Poem annoying in its lack of articles. Quite worth dropping by to read MaggieMae9, though, so do.

Onieria's Wisp is as one might expect: pleasant and brief. Midnight Ride will make you smile, I'll bet. Onieria also offers us the seasonal yet foreboding Frosty the Bogeyman.

Greenmountaineer's poem Pediatric Wing delivers my response (before I read the title) in its final line. Then one reads the title and must read again. Then one's heart breaks.

Demure101 is at her best, clean images and agile meter, in Desire.

Finish all this with the optimistic poem A New Star by Wistfall1, and I'd say you're ready for the week.

Hope your weekend was as lovely as mine was. =D

It's a short Tueday, must be the lingering shopping malaise.

We have two submissions by Demure, today

Quarrel by demure101
A personal piece in which bitter and sharp metaphors and images expose the emotions of inflicting more pain than intended.

Daybreak by demure101

A beautiful descriptive.

Pulsing With the Earth by monsterxxx

This is a love poem and ode, as we are informed by the author's note. It's a nice try, but the voice is forced into a pseudo Shakespeare tongue and it fits ill beneath the palate as a sleeve when pressed to the office of a pants leg.

Is this allowed

I am not sure whether this thread permits anything beyond recommendation.

I felt Demure 101's "daybreak" deserved a little more, so here it goes:

A red sun's sailing in. The eastern sky
is bleeding and above the angry sea
the storm clouds gather. In the leafless wood

stiff branches creak before the rising wind
that shifts the yellow leaves in rustling drifts
as treetops bend and a thin moaning comes

from hills and chimneys. When I round the house
the full blast nearly makes me lose my hold;
far out across the field the wooden gate,

loose on its hinges, beats a sharp tattoo
against the post. Their feathers all awry,
a dirty batch of rooks comes whirling by

against a sky that won't get light today –
the first cold rain comes lashing at my face
and this year's colours are all blown away.

I love this piece. It is evocative. It has a wonderful intake of breath and then exhales again. Notice how it begins out there in the cosmos, the red sun a foreboding image of the storm that completes the first stanza.

The “leafless” woods jar against the “colours blown away” in the concluding stanza. From the first moment after I had read the poem out loud I disliked the last line, viscerally, apart from the intellectual inconsistency it presents. In the second stanza the theme of “leafless”, is transformed into action by the rustling drifts and their shifting. Add, the thin moans of whipping winds in the leafless wood, contracting to the chimney. As she “rounds” the house” she is fully present. This is no longer a contemplative musing, I could feel the push of the wind.

The image and atmosphere of the last line of the third stanza and beginning of the fourth is second to none. This is true artistry at it’s best.

And here we are at the end. The last line of the piece loses its elegance in its inconsistency and heavy handedness of the language. If I were asked I would suggest placing a period or a dash behind “face” and would say

“And, this year’s colours sweep away.”

I would not have broken it into stanzas but left it as compact as it is.

I really enjoyed

Please feel free to delete or remove.

KathrynMartin said:

I am not sure whether this thread permits anything beyond recommendation.

....
I really enjoyed

Please feel free to delete or remove.

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Please feel free to jump in anytime. We set up an informal schedule just to keep up with current posts. I am sure many get by without the attention they deserve.

The last thing we are going to do is discourage someone from commenting on a poem.

Only a scant four submissions today, of those I recommend Kilroy Was Here 111 by njoyjade. Idle fingers, empty mind create a classic doodle. I found it, like the desk top, a bit disorderly but the interplay between the familiar graffiti and mundane office life rings true. Nicely done

MisterSade might have experienced a psychotic episode and cryptic revelation. He learns music by hearing it, and sometimes has to get it all out. You'd be raw if you were in his shoes.

Have faith in his development. He does for those he loves.

Friday Nov 30 recommendations

Thoughts on the new poems of the day are below, there are some that really should not be missed- in RED.

Demure101 gives us:
Joy #2. This is my favorite kind of Demure101 poem - based in the outdoors, overlaid with internal (human) musing. The title on this one is interesting, as I often find is the case with Demure101's work. Deadlock puts the emphasis on what is going on inside the mind first, nature floating overhead. I don't know if I am making sense to anyone except me, but regardless, it is very well done, with an impressive economy of words. Both are recommended.

Butterflies512 also has posted two:
How it works (in my head) which mixes literature, love and science in an interesting way. I liked it. Recommended. .I won't be I liked less, maybe because it reminded me of either latin declensions or verb conjugations. And I did not like the use of &. why not just write and? The last line is cute, though.

PrincessErin submits:
The change is about an important subject (at least I believe so) but its structure needs reworking. Right now it reads like three paragraphs. Maybe I am missing something.

1brokenNangel Trying to be me is a rhyming piece. It is well executed for what it is, but I would have liked to have seen more original word use.

Greenmountaineer very effectively conveys despairs with Curtainswhich is excellent. Recommended.

Remec's French Lessons is a look back in time. I love the way Remec captures the feel of home and growing up, and in this piece the effect is like being transported to the exact scene. Recommended.

LiamGarthJones has posted The Lone Pirate...I am not sure what to say about this one other other than, Ahoy, and Yipes!

Stalkerjay gives us An Ode to a Birthday. It's a tale in rhyme, with some twists that were unexpected (at least for me). Another poet who uses i instead of I. Is there a reason for that that i/I do not know about? Is it ego related or just a dislike for capital letters?

That's it for today.