Ok, that's what I was looking for. Thank you.
I can understand (sorta) that the dynamics of a dom/sub relationship have their own rules, but in a dom and regular person relationship, those rules don't apply. Fairness, equality, giving in, etc the "normal" relationship dynamics, can a dom play by those rules? Kopilot, if I understood correctly, said no.
So many people talk about dominating when they really mean topping. 
That sounds like a love story, very romantic.there's an essay linked in my sig that might-- or maybe not-- be of some use to you.
But if we are talking about dominance and not about topping-- My feeling is that for most of us, dominance and submission are more situational than we suppose. There's a Kinsey Scale kinda thing going on and people fall on all the ranges from 100% dominant to almost-always-dominant, to dominant-most-of-the-time to will-submit-to-the-right-person to switch-early-switch-often... and on towards 100%submissive.
For anecdote's sake, I know one man who always considered himself 100% dominant. And then he met a lady who would never ever submit to anyone-- and he became her submissive. Going on 14 years together now, I think.
there's an essay linked in my sig that might-- or maybe not-- be of some use to you.
But if we are talking about dominance and not about topping-- My feeling is that for most of us, dominance and submission are more situational than we suppose. There's a Kinsey Scale kinda thing going on and people fall on all the ranges from 100% dominant to almost-always-dominant, to dominant-most-of-the-time to will-submit-to-the-right-person to switch-early-switch-often... and on towards 100%submissive.
For anecdote's sake, I know one man who always considered himself 100% dominant. And then he met a lady who would never ever submit to anyone-- and he became her submissive. Going on 14 years together now, I think.
It is, and you know what? The bitch doesn't even deserve him.
Sounds like something that you and he will have to talk about-- work on-- and understand that time will tell...I don't expect or am even looking for him to become submissive in the bdsm sense, but more like the natural give and take in a relationship, where women wear the pants
I should add that he is dominant, not a topper (apologies if that terminology is incorrect)
I appreciate you taking the time to give me some information. Everything in fantasyland always works out the way it's supposed to, happily ever after or not!It is, and you know what? The bitch doesn't even deserve him.
Naw, that's not true-- it's more like their relationship is proof that people are capable of getting some aspects of their life exactly right, even if they have screwed up in other parts.
Sounds like something that you and he will have to talk about-- work on-- and understand that time will tell...
You'll have to decide between yourselves if it's worthwhile.
I don't expect or am even looking for him to become submissive in the bdsm sense, but more like the natural give and take in a relationship, where women wear the pants.
No, it was meant very tongue in cheek. I like strong men and have no desire to control them.I dunno... I live in a universe where my strengths are my strengths. Which means I get to run the stuff I'm good at, am asked (and respected for) my opinions, and big decisions are made together. Kinda like most healthy, functional relationships.
The fact that I ID as submissive, and choose partners who are comfortable with the concept of IDing as dominant, doesn't change the day to day realities of life.
Although I do have to say that this
is the sort of comment that reminds me of the women I've known who "wear the pants" by nagging, ridiculing, belittling, and passive aggressively complaining about how their partner can't ever seem to do anything right. Because, men.
Mmmm, I will need at least 2 intermissions and maybe a 15 min nap in between. Haha.truer words were never spoke!
and all orgasms last for hours, in Fantasyland.
I am too controlling to let anyone have that kind of power over me. I will just refer to Tina Turner
So a dom/sub relationship is not about falling in love? If both people were single the ultimate goal wouldn't be to get married? That almost sounds like rp to me. Every new comment brings up more questions
I guess the best thing would be to ask him since there are so many different types of doms. I really hope pain isn't a kink of his, but again since it's virtual, I don't see how that could work anyway.
if they subscribe to that bourgeois credo, then yes. And plenty of people do, after all.
Every new comment brings up more questions
Thank you Kiwi
Haha, I guess I could be in charge of trash duties.I agree with Stella and CM.
Most relationships have a plethora of dynamics both inside and outside the bedroom. Things like..."Whose responsibility is it to take out the trash?", "Who will handle the finances?", "Who needs to pickup the dirty laundry off of the bathroom floor?"....etc.etc.etc.
Most people are able to find some path to navigate as part of the making the relationship "work".
I think of it this way. If you compare a PYL (Dom, Top, Sub, Bottom whatever) to the members of a Multi-Level, international corporation, you have Supervisors, Managers, Middle Management, Directors, VP's all the way to CEO's and BoD's, someone is subordinate to someone else no matter what their position. It only matters what level you are functioning at that time. To better illustrate, a CEO of a life sciences company may not be as well suited as a CEO of a Petroleum company just because of the dynamics of the "Job" at hand.
To the original question, will He allow you to control certain areas that are outside of his "Dominant" nature? I would allow it especially if you were better at taking out the trash than He is!!!
