Only had a man make me cum three times...

Gingersmart

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Dec 7, 2014
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So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

Relax... That's probably half the problem. You're too tense.
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

learn to relax more and discover what turns you on and encourage your partner to do those things during your lovemaking ,that little phrase ,oh yes touch me there or something similar but dont try too hard to reach orgasm ,just relax and let it happen .x
 
sent you a pm...

relaxation is a good start...then u need to get comfortable with your body nd what u need
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?
Need better partners, who are more in tune with your needs
 
Who the godddamn hell are you picking as partners?!!

(Just kidding, sort of, anyway...)

Lot's of people get involved with other people for reasons not completely sexual that have higher priorities than 'just' sex. And that is not neccessarily a bad thing; kids are a responsibility that require responsible parents, for one thing. But there are lots of other reasons.

Personally I think it is a bad idea to start out from the position that cumming is directly related to a mechanical, or some magical series of mechanical, physical actions. The mechanics are a part of the equation, not the whole equation. The PEOPLE, are the main substance around which any mechanical factors revolve.
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

Just looking at my clit makes me cum. The advice would be to stop looking for one and enjoy it and let it happen organically. Your time will cum. :)
 
Yes, of course I masturbate...I can cum dozens of times a day on my own, but when men are down there, even if I'm thorough in coaching them, it doesn't get me off..and yes, this is the Internet, so I'm prepared for the maelstrom of mixed feedback, but it's starting to feel like "great, I'm the only woman in the world who can't cum for a man" and am wondering if anyone has experienced years of orgasm hiatus or felt similarly? It's easy to say "just relax; it'll happen" when it's not at all that simple to do.
 
Yes, of course I masturbate...I can cum dozens of times a day on my own, but when men are down there, even if I'm thorough in coaching them, it doesn't get me off..and yes, this is the Internet, so I'm prepared for the maelstrom of mixed feedback, but it's starting to feel like "great, I'm the only woman in the world who can't cum for a man" and am wondering if anyone has experienced years of orgasm hiatus or felt similarly? It's easy to say "just relax; it'll happen" when it's not at all that simple to do.

Ever try a toy and your guy at the same time?
 
Well, the equipment works and the owner gets it running hot but other operators grind the gears. I suspect some sort of psychiatric help is needed. Your mind is over-riding the input signals. Did your mom tell you sex with men was nasty (or other warped ideas)?
 
Read the book Vagina by Naomi Wolf .. alot of it is about actually being wired differently .. and your pussy works in it's own unique way .. you may not cum during penetration ..
It's not a problem .. except for the guys EGO .. and that quiet frankly is probably where most of the problems are ..
 
Have you tried smoking a little weed to help get you in a relaxed mood ? If that's something you're willing to try it could help .
 
Do your lovers go down on you? I like to get a woman off orally before I even begin penetration... It just improves everything from every standpoint.
 
more information

A bit more information would help us respond, Ginger. Exactly what are these guys doing when you're not cumming -- intercourse? Oral sex? And what's going on before the moment that doesn't happen? Is there foreplay, and if so, what type(s)?

I'm wondering if it's just that you're not being properly and adequately stimulated. Most women have difficulty achieving orgasm just through penetration, but there's a high level of ignorance about women's sexual response, so many think this means there is something wrong with them. Very many women can only orgasm with some type of clitoral orgasm, and even then require effective arousal for a sustained period of time.

I'm sure it is frustrating, and you're correct, of course -- just relaxing is easier said than done. The good news is that a lot of helpful information is available now, and that women can learn much more about their sexual response than in the past.

Tell us a bit more, and we'll see if we can't get you pointed in the write direction.
 
Maybe you're not into men?

If you can masterbate and get yourself off, clearly it's all operational,
so it's either in your mind or the guys are doing it wrong.

Since I can't assume every guy you've been with is doing it wrong,
especially aftereing with you for 6 years of coaching, you might not just be into men.

Have you ever thought about trying women sexually?

Not to be cock blocking any future guys that want to get into your pants, but you might be forcing yourself
to enjoy men when it's not what your body and mind really want.
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

Welcome to life as a woman.

If you want a guy who gives a shit about your pleasure, you will have to make that a criteria when choosing partners. And don't hesitate to have an attitude about it.
 
Welcome to life as a woman.

If you want a guy who gives a shit about your pleasure, you will have to make that a criteria when choosing partners. And don't hesitate to have an attitude about it.

I agree with this. You have to have someone who cares about your pleasure, not their own. Like the post ahead, I make sure my partner cums at least once orally first before we start intercourse.
 
Ginger, at risk of being thought a prude, let me pose the possibility that the "two dozen" might be part of the problem. It might be that, even with a man who has it in him to see to your pleasure way before his own, you need to give time to develop a trusting relationship, you delighting in all sorts of aspects of his personality and being, and he yours, in order for the magic to happen.

I confess that, as a one-woman-man, I don't know much from personal experience. But I do know that the depth of relationship sure gives some women what they need to find themselves in the zone where an orgasm is going to happen, and I am totally confident that the most amazing orgasms come in that context, for men and well as for women.

If you really want to go for achieving orgasm on a fast track without looking for trusting relationship, then find yourself an older man who has the assurance about him of one who has learnt well how to pleasure a woman. If you can find the sex appeal in him, say at least 45 years old. He is likely to last with you. And to take as long as you like with the intimacy before every getting into penetration.

And if you continue to have this issue, darling: keep in mind that a woman's body changes so much in terms of sexual responsiveness. I am sure there are many women who have lived with your issue for a few years and then one day everything is very different and in due course they're into multiple bliss before a guy's begun. We all change in this game!

Hey. love and kisses darling. You're brave to come on here about this and by doing so you will be helping a lot of women who will remain silent.

Simon
 
I agree with this. You have to have someone who cares about your pleasure, not their own. Like the post ahead, I make sure my partner cums at least once orally first before we start intercourse.

Maybe you just haven't found the right guy for you. Until I found my partner, orgasms were hit and miss, now I have them all the time, as he loves giving me pleasure again and again in multiple orgasms. There is far more to sex than just fucking away like a rabbit. Here's hoping you find a good man.
 
Need a specialist

So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

Not enough kissing and sucking and nibbling of your nipples. There isn't enough oral stimulation. More time - the wetter you get and who knows maybe you get off -- 3 times in one session. :devil:
 
My experience has been that a woman's capacity for orgasm, as well as the capacity for multiple orgasms lies almost completely within her own control. Yes, there are usually some mechanical steps required, as in you must certainly be aroused to a high level and if you're with a partner then the partner must be doing a few things right. Ultimately, though, you have to give yourself permission to let go. Sometimes the inability to let go has a lot to do with how much you trust your partner and other times it might how well you trust yourself to be the same person after you've had your climax as you were before you got all hot and bothered.

You know that you can climax under your own power. Now find trust in a partner that equals your trust in yourself.
 
I am not going to put the 'blame' on the guys you had sex with, but maybe on you.

It very well might be you yourself wired your body the way it is wired: Did you find a way to masturbate which will always give you an orgasm a long time ago? If so, is that the way you almost always masturbate?

If you answered both questions with yes, you should stop masturbating for a week or two, to give your body (and brain!) the chance to 'forget' what technic gives you an orgasm. Then slowly start to re-discover your own body and use different technics every time you masturbate. That might open up possibilities for a partner too.
 
I am not going to put the 'blame' on the guys you had sex with, but maybe on you.

It very well might be you yourself wired your body the way it is wired: Did you find a way to masturbate which will always give you an orgasm a long time ago? If so, is that the way you almost always masturbate?

If you answered both questions with yes, you should stop masturbating for a week or two, to give your body (and brain!) the chance to 'forget' what technic gives you an orgasm. Then slowly start to re-discover your own body and use different technics every time you masturbate. That might open up possibilities for a partner too.

Hey you Dutch lovely! Hello! and thank you for this.
To add to it for what it's worth: my wife pretty well never masturbates and pretty well always orgasms during our sex and 90% of those are on my cock with nothing else doing the direct stimulation.
 
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