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Sexless marriage ... just can't take it anymore!

Stuck in a sexless marriage? Come to literotica and tease yourself into a blue ball/ovary coma.

My balls ache all the time.
 
I guess we need to start a Lit Sexless Married Personals club to help each other out. I have been married for nearly 7 years and in the past 2 years, it has been down to about once every two months - that too after a lot of begging/persuading her. Just not worth it! If I had someone on the side just for sex, life wouldn't feel as incomplete!

Any females in NY/NJ? :)
 
I can empathize here. My wife and I went from swinging couple to a grinding halt. I tried dragging her to even just us, but to no avail.

Not sure I even want to try anymore. I just no I need some passion in my life even it's artificial and Rosie and her palm sisters are growing old.
 
Hi everyone

I am a recent new member to this forum and this thread describes the very reason I signed up!

I feel for everyone on here, I know for me I adore my wife in so many ways but overall, there is something just simply missing between us sexually. That's really the only thing that is missing and it's tough to know what to do!

As a lover of words and erotic things, I came here...

Hope to get to know some of you better and especially those within this thread.
 
princeofhands said:
Hi everyone

I am a recent new member to this forum and this thread describes the very reason I signed up!

I feel for everyone on here, I know for me I adore my wife in so many ways but overall, there is something just simply missing between us sexually. That's really the only thing that is missing and it's tough to know what to do!

As a lover of words and erotic things, I came here...

Hope to get to know some of you better and especially those within this thread.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear about your situation, but welcome to Lit! My situation is very similar to yours. I'm sure you'll fit right in.
 
Thankyou desiresmore for the positive welcome!
Good to know there are others in a similar position.
Wonderful that in today's world we can find each other here

Hope to get to know you better DM
 
ohwhynot77 said:
Please do not judge me. I am 35, healthy, attractive and in a sexless marriage. My husband and I have not been intimate in over 3 years.

He has zero desire - you may speculate all you want but no I do not think he is gay, no he will not go to marriage counseling. I have gone on my own but it is hard to fix a marriage from one side. We otherwise get along, and yes there is a child which makes leaving very hard - especially since we otherwise function very well as a family!

That said, should I be complacent with with a life of celibacy? We are friends, get along but it is platonic? Maybe, maybe there is nothing really wrong with that?

I have has affairs - both long term and short and was left feeling empty, more alone than before.

Truly I want to LOVE(!!!) - hard, unabashedly, passionately, devotedly, endlessly. And I want to be so loved in return.

But maybe that isn't what marriage is about? Maybe what I have is as close to good as it gets?

Sorry for my late night and tipsy ramble ... I have had a few glasses of Pinot Grigio and I am waxing philosophic.

:)
Click to expand...

you poor thing sex is so entoxicating I love it almost as much as I love my wife.... mmmmmmmmm yummy to taste her pussy and make her cummmmm all over my face.... strange how some people are not into it. I had a wife once that wasn't into sex. now she is my ex......... if you want something you need to be clear and communicate it. stick ur pussy in his face and say lick it mister lol.
 
Veronica100 said:
sorry to hear that mouse :(

the very last time my ex and i had sex i tried masturbating for him....he said he was bored....the remaining 2.5 years of our marriage involved nothing intimate, not even hugs or kisses.
Click to expand...
Did the marriage end and have you found happiness yet veronica?
 
Just read your reply, and I feel you.

I'm in FTW.

My married sex life: the annual event, and I have to push for that.

It's been giving me severe stress headaches, and I dealt with my frustrations by putting on a lot of weight. I've lost 38 pounds since Halloween, but losing momentum.

Our marriage was never good. The only happy times were when he was gone on business. We didn't have sex for first 2 years 7months of marriage. I would have gotten an annullment except I was financially strapped.

After 8 years, I've had it, so now I'm getting things set so I can leave. He seems to have picked up on it, and so is trying to be mr nice, but still no sex. he says it's new medication, but after 8 years of excuses (allergies making him sick, back is out, has to get up extra early for work, etc), I just don't give a crap.
 
GorgeousGeekGirl said:
Just read your reply, and I feel you.

I'm in FTW.

My married sex life: the annual event, and I have to push for that.

It's been giving me severe stress headaches, and I dealt with my frustrations by putting on a lot of weight. I've lost 38 pounds since Halloween, but losing momentum.

Our marriage was never good. The only happy times were when he was gone on business. We didn't have sex for first 2 years 7months of marriage. I would have gotten an annullment except I was financially strapped.

After 8 years, I've had it, so now I'm getting things set so I can leave. He seems to have picked up on it, and so is trying to be mr nice, but still no sex. he says it's new medication, but after 8 years of excuses (allergies making him sick, back is out, has to get up extra early for work, etc), I just don't give a crap.
Click to expand...
That sounds like a good plan. Great job dropping that initial weight, I know how difficult that is. Continue to plan to leave, but if you can get his head screwed on straight when it comes to sex, it might be worth the effort.

Otherwise, bail on his ass!
 
Wow! I'm amazed at the number of women in this situation. I thought only men ever made this complaint.

I was raised that the three most difficult words in the world to live up to are, "I Love You". That it means wanting for the other that which they most want in their heart even if it breaks yours. Sometimes though, it seems as if it is impossible to determine what that is.

Now don't get me wrong, I can find any number of great qualities about my wife that I love, but after a while, that loss of physical intimacy erodes even the strongest self confidence.

We have gone from a beginning when she was a dancer and I was her bodyguard, to a normal suburban marriage, to being little more than best friends. Because of my business life and commitments, she will still put on the little black dress and be amazing. If family comes over (we have 7 kids ages 9 to 28 - the 9 year old is the only one at home and is with me most of the time) she will come over and be the "perfect" wife and hostess.

It's those times I remember everything I fell in love with. Then, when guests, business people, friends are all gone, and I am looking for maybe a little intimacy......she's gone too.

So where is one to go from here?
 
I'm no expert...sure as hell no Dr. Phil either. But, a long time ago I decided that stuff I didn't like I wasn't going to do anymore. I'm a widower but prior to my wife's passing we were headed in opposite directions. It happens, people grow and not always in the same direction. People change. It can hurt, it can hurt others but staying in a miserable situation simply isn't an option...in fact it can be unhealthy mentally & physically. I'd rather be alone than with someone I can't or couldn't live with. Independence, a new start......that might just be what all of you need if you're unhappy. Just saying.
 
Talks cheap and easy from the outside!

Everyone's got an opinion, Every situation is different and has it's own set of unique issues! What might or coulda worked for one, won't work for another!

You can "JUST SAY" all ya want but, it's not ever as simple as it may seem! And ya see, you were STILL with her, contemplating, procrastinating but, hadn't left, huh?

rds_muskrat said:
I'm no expert...sure as hell no Dr. Phil either. But, a long time ago I decided that stuff I didn't like I wasn't going to do anymore. I'm a widower but prior to my wife's passing we were headed in opposite directions. It happens, people grow and not always in the same direction. People change. It can hurt, it can hurt others but staying in a miserable situation simply isn't an option...in fact it can be unhealthy mentally & physically. I'd rather be alone than with someone I can't or couldn't live with. Independence, a new start......that might just be what all of you need if you're unhappy. Just saying.
Click to expand...
 
This is such a sad thread. I know exactly what you mean because I've been there too for 13 years!

I've since gotten out of my sad excuse of a marriage and now couldn't be happier :) The best feeling in the world is to leave my cage and be available to find that everlasting passion and love that's been missing in my life for so long!

An affair just doesn't work for me. I want the real thing. I want to be in a loving and passionate relationship where my partner loves me back :)
 
Hi everybody. What is it with our spouses?? Don't they get it that a sure way to get divorced is to refuse to recognize that sex is one of the reasons for getting married. Oh wait....
 
A) How the hell do we get into these situations?
B) Why do we stay?
C) Anyone want to say fuck it, lets fuck?
 
2ServeWoman said:
Everyone's got an opinion, Every situation is different and has it's own set of unique issues! What might or coulda worked for one, won't work for another!

You can "JUST SAY" all ya want but, it's not ever as simple as it may seem! And ya see, you were STILL with her, contemplating, procrastinating but, hadn't left, huh?
Click to expand...

Nope, was working in another community in another part of the state. We had discussed the inevitability of our splitting up, it just hadn't been formally executed.. so you see, part of your response, the first part is right on point and the second part was a assumptive and misguided as your profile seems to indicate that you really are. You see, your profile mini bio speaks to who you are, what YOU believe and the way YOU want to live and interact. You strike me as self serving despite your claims to the opposite and your alleged vow to serve women. Remember what YOU wrote..."Everyone's got an opinion, Every situation is different and has it's own set of unique issues! What might or coulda worked for one, won't work for another!"

That Is true but what I advocate is people being happy. It is irrefutable that someone should stay in an unhappy relationship. Which, is what YOU apparently advocate.

YOU need to live your life and worry about YOU. You don't strike me as someone who really understands people or relationships very well. Good day to you...and good riddance.
 
rds_muskrat said:
Nope, was working in another community in another part of the state. We had discussed the inevitability of our splitting up, it just hadn't been formally executed.. so you see, part of your response, the first part is right on point and the second part was a assumptive and misguided as your profile seems to indicate that you really are. You see, your profile mini bio speaks to who you are, what YOU believe and the way YOU want to live and interact. You strike me as self serving despite your claims to the opposite and your alleged vow to serve women. Remember what YOU wrote..."Everyone's got an opinion, Every situation is different and has it's own set of unique issues! What might or coulda worked for one, won't work for another!"

That Is true but what I advocate is people being happy. It is irrefutable that someone should stay in an unhappy relationship. Which, is what YOU apparently advocate.

YOU need to live your life and worry about YOU. You don't strike me as someone who really understands people or relationships very well. Good day to you...and good riddance.
Click to expand...

There are a lot of situations that can make it difficult to "formally execute" a break as RDS so eloquently stated. What becomes difficult is moving on and having another person understand there might be some underlying issues that need to be resolved. We all get onto our little judgmental high horses and forget to really LISTEN to what another has to say.

Or we don our Jesus mask and decide we can make it "all better" for someone. Again I repeat the words my Dad repeated to me over and over, the three most difficult words in the world to live up to are, "I Love You". If you can live up to those, the rest becomes easy.
 
I have never heard of so many woman complaining about men not wanting sex. My wife is like this once or twice a year and I better kiss her ass for it too.
Geekgirl, do what you need to do to make you happy, do not loose weight for someone else If they cant love you for who they are then they are crazy. you sound like a good woman to me.
 
Where are

Those neglected women hiding, I see em too but, none need enuf near me cuz I would be more than happy ta help!

larry1963 said:
I have never heard of so many woman complaining about men not wanting sex. My wife is like this once or twice a year and I better kiss her ass for it too.
Geekgirl, do what you need to do to make you happy, do not loose weight for someone else If they cant love you for who they are then they are crazy. you sound like a good woman to me.
Click to expand...
 
Mendacity

Watch Tennessee William cat on a hot tin roof men withhold sex from women because they love them but she is not quality. She cheats. Doesn't back you up. Is friends with people you can't stand. And is not the true partner you thought she was. If you think he doesn't know you have started to believe your own lies which is hard for women to grasp because they've surrounded themselves with other liars. The men they cheat with for starters. Some women want to be a princess. That doesn't mean men don't want to be your prince and when you lose that or become soiled or dirty that destroys the dream. Now have the guts. Call the game on account of bad weather. And take your medicine without a spoonful of sugar.
 
Question

How old is your husband? If he is 50's, 40's or 30's, he could need some testosterone. The stuff is amazing. Use it for a month or so and the old magic returns. It sounds like an easy answer but sometimes they are the ones that work. Have him see a doctor and get it tested. It may be that easy.
Paul
 
that is why I write

I think the passive neglect is even worse.

I just write because at least that is a world I can feel a wanted romatic.

DJ

GorgeousGeekGirl said:
Just read your reply, and I feel you.

I'm in FTW.

My married sex life: the annual event, and I have to push for that.

It's been giving me severe stress headaches, and I dealt with my frustrations by putting on a lot of weight. I've lost 38 pounds since Halloween, but losing momentum.

Our marriage was never good. The only happy times were when he was gone on business. We didn't have sex for first 2 years 7months of marriage. I would have gotten an annullment except I was financially strapped.

After 8 years, I've had it, so now I'm getting things set so I can leave. He seems to have picked up on it, and so is trying to be mr nice, but still no sex. he says it's new medication, but after 8 years of excuses (allergies making him sick, back is out, has to get up extra early for work, etc), I just don't give a crap.
Click to expand...
 
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