What Made You Smile/Laugh Today?

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Finding out that Athens is courting me instead of the other way around. She's a very cute girl. We'll see how Monday goes, maybe even sooner...
 
tv no pity

I luuuuv the website www.televisionwithoutpity.com has great recaps written by people who sound like my best friends in college....mainly bitchy gay males who will tell it like it is. go there,find your fave reality show, and get to reading...i just about pee in my pants every time I do!!! talented writing in many cases, super sarcastic....love them!
 
Sir telling me this morning.. that yesterdays convo that I finally understood that he was happy. :kiss:
 
:rose:Spending the evening w 3 GREAT new friends who I feel have enhanced and made my life so much better..... :kiss:
 
The thought of a trip, with someone special..

The pictures I sent.

The naughty thoughts from text messages.
 
Got my pc after 3 weeks of being offline ok i'll be eating pasta for the next 2 weeks but its well worth it it! Plus my story got submitted and i got some good feed back:D
 
Early morning text that made no sense that sent to him and him calling me back and asking WTF? LOL

and him calling me and telling me he missed me

a good hard workout and knowing it is doing me good..
 
Waking up and knowing its a long weekend listening to lou reed and drinking a beer for breakfast. Perfect day indeed!:)
 
A phone call from my daughters looking for books to read to help them understand who I am...

3 phone calls again today.. WOW I am gonna get spoiled.. YAY for me.. But I so needed it. :heart:

Hearing from a friend she hit two royals back to back 2000 WON! Woohoo
 
Finding out two things....

Firstly, that I am a bit of a natural at ropework after doing my first full tie on Minxie last night and really enjoying doing it.

Secondly, that being trussed up in rope and helpless is Minxies full-on subspace. It was totally cool. I'm so glad I have something that is just ours to share.

Yay!:)
 
This was posted on the humour forum on collarme, just has to be shared! :D

I hear all the time how hard the slave has it. You want some cheese to go with that whine? What about the poor master?

We have to be concerned with every aspect of our slaves’ life and manage it properly while at the same time taking care of our own lives. All I want is a simple glass of water will my slave get it for me? Not without whining and lame excuses. I will give you all an example of what I mean.

My slave says she loves me and is a pain slut so I set up a nice little play session. I have her bound to the bed, using my favorite cane I work her tits and ass to a beautiful cherry red. I give her orgasms in a system of bliss which makes her have roughly 85 orgasms a minute after six hours of her being played with I am tired and sweaty so I tell my slave to get me a drink of water. You know as a slave she should serve me, don’t you think? All she does is lay there, she won’t even acknowledge me. Ok it’s been six hours maybe she is tired so I help her to her feet. Go get me a glass of water. I tell her. She won’t move. She mumbles something I can’t understand so I use my whip on her ass that will wake her up. But nothing. She won’t move and all she does is mumble at me. I mean the disrespect I have to suffer at her willful hands!

Okay maybe I expect too much from her so I take the gag and dirty panties out of her mouth. Not even a thank you all she does is gasp air as if the one nostril I left un-pinched was not enough to breathe with. God gave her two I only blocked one. But being the kind master I am I give her a few minutes to calm herself. Then I say, slave go get me a glass of water. Does she move, or say yes sir? No! The lazy bitch gives me a string of lame excuses! Now I feel taken advantage of, I give into her silly wishes and remove the eight pounds off of each nipple clamp as if clover clamps would stop her from getting me a glass of water. Now will you get your master a glass of water? Another string of lame excuses, this time about her legs or something. I am past feeling taken advantage of to the point of feeling abused. So I untie her feet, and take the five pound weights off her labia. And I tell her no more mister nice master if she does not start moving I will get my cane and there will be blood. To show her utter disrespect for me she runs right into me then the loveseat and then the wall. I grab her by the hair. You figure after all this time she would know where the kitchen is but I guess some slaves are just plain stupid.

I take off the blindfold and send her on her way. She gets just past the bedroom door and stops. She whines some more about some silliness that has nothing to do with my water. The abuse I have to suffer just to get any service around here is unbelievable! So I take the clover clamp off her clitoris and the spiked leaded weight. Do I get a thank you master? No just a lot of screaming and jumping around. Then she asks if she can use the toilet. Can you imagine the balls on this bitch?!! I am parched and thirsty by all she can think of is herself. It is always her, her, her, what about me? She takes just five steps into the living room and stops with another complaint. The butt plug fell out. How is that my fault? I pull the rope attached to the plug back into the bedroom and untie the other end from the bed.

I look into the living room to see she has not moved. This impertinent bitch is really trying my patients! Get moving! I yell. She takes another step and now there is a mess all over the tile floor. Okay maybe I should have only used a 4 quart enema instead of 6 but she said she liked pain. I could see some ice still had not melted in the mess she so callously left on the floor. It will be the last time I think of her well being. She said it was hot so I gave her a nice little ice water enema to help cool her down. How does she repay my kindness? By leaving a mess all over the living room floor and I bet she will tell me that she is too tired after all the play to clean it up. Here I am exhausted from doing all the things she says she likes and I make a simple request for a glass of cold water for my parched throat and I have to listen to her compromises, do this if you want your water, if you want a drink then untie my legs. If being a slave was easy everyone would do it.

My poor shoulder is killing me from whipping her, does she care? No! All she can think about is going potty. The lazy slave comes back without the water and tells me that she really has to use the toilet. Fine whatever, at this point I am almost ready to get the water myself. I tell her to go sit on the toilet. Not even a minute later she is whining again. Ok I take the catheter out of her so she can let the two quarts of water I forced in out. Are we all comfy now? Can I have my glass of water? This time she thanks me and bends to kiss my hand. Okay now I am starting to feel like a master again. Maybe I was a little harsh, I pat her head and she walks to the kitchen. I sit on the bed waiting for my reward. Just as I start to relax she calls me from the kitchen. What now? She wants me to un-cuff her hands from behind her back so she can reach my favorite glass.

She thinks I’m stupid, she just wants to make me compromise one more time. No! You want me to do that you bring me my water first! It took 20 minutes for her to start back to the bedroom. She hands me the glass, I look at it. What no ice?
:D
 
Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?"

"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
 
Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?"

"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
I know you laughed at this. You're a sick bastard bubba!
lol
 
I got my ears pierced today and when she did the first one, I said,

"Hmmm that didnt hurt anything near like I did when I got my nipples done."

The look on Malin's face was priceless!
 
5am IMs telling me he's working...on a saturday....he NEVER works on a saturday but when questioned he said he's doing it for the money. :heart:

is it october yet?
 
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