Writing from Multiple Viewpoints

Morning all.

I've written the first draft of a multiple partner story (threesome), and with this one I chose to write each main section from a different viewpoint.

For example: the woman sits down in a bar and notices a nice looking guy smiling at her > the guy thinks the woman is hot, smiles, and decides to go and talk to her > the husband watches the couple talking together from across the room... and so on.

The entire story moves along this way, with each section being described in first person perspective, from the different viewpoint.

It also tends to follow the pattern of woman > lover > husband who is speaking.

Has anybody else tried to do something similar?

I understand that changing the viewpoint through the story would usually cause confusion for the reader, but this seems to work well for me.

Any thoughts please gratefully received!

Cheers - K.

............

Thank you for this... I assumed I wouldn't be the first to try this! ;-)

I might grab a copy of the book and take a look, its not one which I've read myself.

Cheers!

This story:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-floating-world-1

progresses the story with a shifting pov of each protagonist.

edit - once you get past the first two sections...

Perhaps an interesting read as well, as a little while ago someone asked about a slightly similar subject. http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1471765

As for me, I have no qualms with different PoVs, as long as the characters are properly fleshed out. Someone actually pointed out the whole 'Ensemble' thing to me a little while ago, where a story is told from different PoVs because they all have influence in the progress of the story. Michael Chrichton liked to write his stories that way, for instance. And we all know that worked wonders for him, so why would it be different for erotica, as long as you do it well?

electricblue66 said:

This story:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-floating-world-1

progresses the story with a shifting pov of each protagonist.

Click to expand...

Thank you for this... will take some time out to read it later.

Gentleman_G said:

Perhaps an interesting read as well, as a little while ago someone asked about a slightly similar subject. http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1471765

Click to expand...

Thanks G.

I had a quick look at it and there are some good points there to consider. Thanks for your comments. It's in first edit at the moment so will perhaps post it up for comments somewhere when its done.

KelvinBlack said:

Thanks G.

I had a quick look at it and there are some good points there to consider. Thanks for your comments. It's in first edit at the moment so will perhaps post it up for comments somewhere when its done.

Click to expand...

Start a thread in the feedback forum.

Link: http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=1

electricblue66 said:

This story:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-floating-world-1

progresses the story with a shifting pov of each protagonist.

Click to expand...

This is in 3d person pov, however, which is the more usual way to do this.

Switching 1st person pov can be done, but it's unusual and runs more of a risk of being forced or distracting.

KelvinBlack said:

Morning all.

I've written the first draft of a multiple partner story (threesome), and with this one I chose to write each main section from a different viewpoint.

For example: the woman sits down in a bar and notices a nice looking guy smiling at her > the guy thinks the woman is hot, smiles, and decides to go and talk to her > the husband watches the couple talking together from across the room... and so on.

The entire story moves along this way, with each section being described in first person perspective, from the different viewpoint.

It also tends to follow the pattern of woman > lover > husband who is speaking.

Has anybody else tried to do something similar?

I understand that changing the viewpoint through the story would usually cause confusion for the reader, but this seems to work well for me.

Any thoughts please gratefully received!

Cheers - K.

Click to expand...

I've been doing that all along in Mary and Alvin. It just seemed natural, and I haven't had any complaints that it was confusing. I suppose bringing in a third POV complicate it much more, though.

MelissaBaby said:

I've been doing that all along in Mary and Alvin. It just seemed natural, and I haven't had any complaints that it was confusing. I suppose bringing in a third POV complicate it much more, though.

Click to expand...

Your story is told in the third person, not first person. He's talking about writing a story in first-person that switches from one character to another. First person perspective is a much more unusual way of doing this.

SimonDoom said:

Your story is told in the third person, not first person. He's talking about writing a story in first-person that switches from one character to another. First person perspective is a much more unusual way of doing this.

Click to expand...

Oh, yes, I missed that. Thank you. I'd better finish my coffee before I make any more replies.

I've tried it as an experiment (just two people, first-person) and think it worked reasonably well. https://www.literotica.com/s/house-of-feathers-ch-03-a-contest

I've seen some which worked and some which quickly went off the rails. I think it takes a bit more care on the part of the author, but it can be a useful or productive option.

I don't know if the linked examples show it, but the best way to do this and not confuse the reader is to either have each chapter from the different person or a ***** scene break whenever you switch so there's something telling the reader you're shifting.

Moving on past the initial question of can you....be careful with how you do it. What I mean is if all three are doing a he said she said take on the same story then make sure they each have something unique to tell as in something different. In other words three views of the same exact thing would be repetitive and annoying.

Now do you intend to do this through the sex? If so have three separate descriptions of the same sex scene would be the same issue and maybe worse as in how different can they say the same thing in the act?

Your story so of course write and proceed the way you feel called to, but my suggestion is go third person. You can shift from each person the way you want to, and its less confusing because its "Ted sat there, Emily sat there...." rather than a lot of "I I I" that if not done right gets you wondering who the hell I is...

And during the climactic sex third person allows you to head hop and narrate how each is feeling and doing and thinking during the same scene.

Okay...that was more than I intended. Need to cut down on the Coffee and code red mountain Dews this early in the morning.

Lovecraft makes good points, above.

I've read stories that do this where it doesn't work because the two different perspectives aren't sufficiently different or interesting to justify the repetition and extra degree of confusion that comes from reading a story like this. This POV works best when:

1. Each different perspective really adds something different -- for instance, each person sees the same event in a very different erotic light -- gets something different out of it.

2. You can avoid having each character narrate the same things, unless the perspective is so different that it makes up for the repetition, and/or

3. The use of the perspective adds a bit of surprise via the last perspective. What if the wife and lover meet at the bar but don't know the husband is there? Then it comes time for the husband to narrate and it turns out he was aware all along and set it up. That would be an example.


And as LC recommends, be very clear in your transitions from one POV to another, and don't do it too often.

MelissaBaby said:

Oh, yes, I missed that. Thank you. I'd better finish my coffee before I make any more replies.

Click to expand...

Ditto - I missed the OP's first person pov perspective too. Like Melissa, I think we're both remembering a similar discussion a couple of weeks ago

Kinda did something like this in Tryst of Fate. Not so much broken up into sections, but each person's view told separately in first person.

We can use the Roshomon Effect, telling a tale from widely divergent viewpoints. I started that on an over-complicated series I may finish someday. I might write a telling-stories-at-the-bar tale with each voice telling what they saw and thunk and did about something. I didn't do that in A Taste of Lemonade but overlapped three POVs, each starting around the previous ending. I see no problem with multiple POVs as long as the current narrator is clear.

Hi all.

Firstly can I say a huge 'thank you' to all the comments I've received on this so far. The suggestions have been really useful and I'll certainly take them into account during my next edit.

However, can I just confirm a couple of points? To save any possible confusion in the reader I wanted to manage the changes as follows:

# Each viewpoint will be clearly marked by a '=====' character between the sections.

# The first line of the section will confirm the identity of the person who is in focus, e.g.: 'I watched my wife lay back into the pillows, in rapture as he entered her...(husbands viewpoint)'; 'I watched his slow advance toward me, my engorged nipples aching to be touched...(wifes viewpoint)'; 'She dropped her mouth around her husband's glistening cock, pushing her ass up into the air as if to offer it to me...(the lovers viewpoint).

# The change of viewpoint will move the story forward and not be a desciption of the same event. For example, in the scene described above where the wife takes her husband into her mouth for a blowjob, the next scene (from the husbands perspective) will contain a line or two giving his reaction to this act. But it will then go on to describe how he grasped her head to pull her up towards him, kissing and entering her with his cock.

I'm working on the first edit now so will put at least a section of the tale up for further comments.

Thanks for everything so far - much appreciated! (KB)

Truly, I wouldn't get too formalistic. It's your piece, your vision, your style. Creative writing profs in colleges scream at run-on sentences, yet Hemingway commonly used them hundreds of words long - he earned both Pulitzer and Nobel Prizes. Do it however feels best to you.

If you are really worried about it, perhaps you could write the story and then adapt it using a couple of different styles. See which looks best. Get another person to be your beta reader and see what works best for them.